Modesty in an Age of Exposure | Jumu'ah Khutbah | Dr. AbdulRazzak Junaid

أما بعد، كل الحمد لله سبحانه وتعالى خالقنا وخالق السماء والأرض وعلى أفضل خلق محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم. صلوا على رسول الله. نرسل صلواتنا عليه وعلى عائلاته وأصحابه وكل من تبعهم بإحسان إلى نهاية الوقت.

A Story of Transformation

اللهم أجعل منهم. هناك قصة تُقرأت من الإمام أحمد بن حنبل رحمة الله عليه ورضي عنه and a neighbor that he once had الذي كان يمارس المعاصي والقاذورات - a neighbor of Imam Ahmad, that righteous Imam, that righteous scholar of hadith and fiqh, one of the four great Imams, who had a neighbor that was not one of the best neighbors.

In fact, his neighbor was a sinner and he would be doing this and this used to really irritate and bother and annoy Imam Ahmad. And this neighbor once, not only in his disturbance next to him as a neighbor at home, he came to the majlis and the gathering of knowledge of Imam Ahmad. And Imam Ahmad, you can imagine, this guy - he's bothering me at home, now he's coming to me where I'm teaching! الله المستعان

And so Imam Ahmad, when he's approached by his neighbor and he's in his majlis of hadith, he's in his gathering of knowledge, his neighbor comes to give salams. And Imam Ahmad, he's irritated by him, he's annoyed because of his open practice of sin and he's his neighbor - he's been harmed obviously. And so Imam Ahmad's response and his reply to his salams was not fully there, as though he made it clear that "I am annoyed by your presence."

The Neighbor's Transformation

So his neighbor told him and said: يا إمام يا أبا عبد الله I see you يعني منقبض - you're annoyed by me. I can tell that you're not really happy and delighted to see me. And my situation has changed from what you're used to وقد صلح أمري - and my situation has changed and I've turned a better way because of a dream I saw.

And Imam Ahmad he said: "A dream?"

The Dream That Changed a Life

He said, "Come, tell me about your dream. What is this dream that changed you?" And this neighbor of Imam Ahmad mentioned that in my dream I saw that there were myself and a lot of people, and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was there. He was in a high place and everyone was low, and one by one everyone would go to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and they would ask for a du'a. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was making du'a for each of them, one by one, and to all of them they got their du'a. Only I was left.

فاستحييت من قبيح ما كنت عليه - and then he said about himself in the dream: "I felt shy, I felt a sense of shame because of the evil state I was in, because of the sinful state I was in. I was shy - how can someone like me go to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم?"

When they wronged themselves, they go to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and they sought forgiveness from Allah. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in the dream said to that sinful neighbor of Imam Ahmad: "I saw everyone came here and they came to me and they asked me to make du'a for them, but you didn't come."

And then he told the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in the dream that "I felt shy because I'm a sinful man - how can I come to you?" And then the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in the dream responded to him - and remember, if the Prophet is seen in a dream, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is there, it's really the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم - and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "If it was out of shyness, then come and let me make du'a for you. If it was out of حياء, if it was out of shyness, then let me make du'a for you."

In the dream, the Prophet made the du'a for him صلى الله عليه وسلم. When that sinful man woke up, it's as though Allah put in his heart, inspired him and put in his heart a hatred for all of the sins that he was once engaged in.

When Imam Ahmad heard this story and he heard how this one dream changed this man because of shyness, he said: حدثوا بهذا واحفظوه فإنه ينفع - "Preserve this story, remember it, record it and narrate it because it will bring benefit."

Ramadan and Our Spiritual State

Ramadan is just around the corner. اللهم بارك لنا في شعبان وبلغنا رمضان - may Allah allow us to all reach the month of Ramadan. Ramadan is just around the corner and many of us carry our own baggage, we carry our own sins. But just as that man, that sinful man still had that حياء, that sense of shame in his heart - look how Allah changed him.

It's not just about sinning that is bad - you can always sin and turn back to Allah. It's when that sin no longer feels like a sin is when we are in a dangerous place. And so today I'm going to be talking about the need, the importance of حياء in today's very shameless world.

Living in a Shameless World

We live in a world now, as we've seen, where the media is full of unclothed people, where we see the social media, the apps, the doomscrolling that people do, the shows that they watch - how much filth is out there. Unfortunately, many Muslims, because we're living in such places, we're also consuming it. And not just Muslims in western lands, but even Muslims in Muslim lands.

We live in this shameless world where we're constantly exposed with this filth, where sins that were once privatized are now public for everyone to see, for everyone to watch. May Allah make us من أصحاب الحياء - may Allah make us from those people that have some shame in their hearts, يا رب العالمين, that sense of حشمة and حياء and modesty before Allah.

Understanding Haya (Modesty)

So today we're going to talk about حياء. الحياء linguistically is what gives you life. When you say a person is حي, this person is alive. The literal opposite of that is the person is ميت - this person is dead.

So just like that, a person who has that shame, that modesty, it means their heart is alive. And if that shame is no longer in their heart, that sense of modesty is no longer there, it's as though they are spiritually dead. May Allah make us spiritually alive, يا رب.

The scholars have mentioned that حياء, that modesty is انقباض النفس من شيء وتركه حذرا عن اللوم فيه - the withdrawal of the soul from something and leaving it out of fear of blame.

Haya Starts from the Heart

حياء, as we think of it - modesty - is not just wearing the hijab or doing غض البصر or covering your عورة. We think of حياء as actions, but حياء, my dear brothers and sisters, starts from the heart - من أعمال القلوب.

حياء and modesty and that shame - it starts from the heart. When we feel that sense of regret, when we feel that sense of shame, when we feel that "I shouldn't say that word," when we feel that "I shouldn't dress that way," when we feel that "I shouldn't look at that" - it starts from the heart and then it leads to the actions, because we do not want people to see, we do not want Allah first and foremost to be able to see us. That is what modesty is, that is what حياء is.

The opposite of it, as we said, the opposite of it linguistically is to be spiritually dead. The opposite of it is for a person to be shameless, for a person not to care if others are seeing them, for a person not to care if people look at what they're doing.

A Life Without Haya

What kind of society would we live in if people no longer had shame? How would a woman feel if her husband did not have shame, did not have that sense of modesty? Would she feel secure and safe in her marriage when he goes out to work? Would she feel safe and secure in her relationship with him when he is going out into the world and not doing غض البصر?

A life without حياء is a miserable one. What would a man feel if his wife did not have حياء? Would he feel, as the moderns say, insecure about his relationship? أستغفر الله العظيم - he would not feel happy. This is a miserable life.

Imagine neighbors living in a street where there is no حياء - noisy music, shamelessly walking out without clothes. A life without حياء is a very miserable one. So حياء is not just for us and ourselves, but it is required in the social fabric of society.

The Prophet's Modesty

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم - صلوا على رسول الله - as he was described: أشد حياء من العذراء في خدرها - he صلى الله عليه وسلم was bashful, his modesty was so much that it was compared to a virgin woman in her chamber who has never had men in her life. So modest he صلى الله عليه وسلم was.

When you look at the Quranic usage of words and the prophetic speech of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, even when it talks about explicit things, the pure words are chosen - words that are not explicit, words that are pure and carefully chosen. May Allah make our words pure, and especially we see the lingo that the younger generation use today - you'll be surprised how dirty it can be. May Allah forgive us.

Examples from the Companions

This is why we need حياء, and the Sahaba رضي الله عنهم were the first to practice this.

Asma bint Abu Bakr's Modesty

Asma bint Abu Bakr رضي الله عنها was married to Zubair رضي الله عنه. When she married Zubair, he had no wealth, no money - they're just starting. She would have to go and feed the animals, make the bread, grind the date pits, and she would have to do all of this labor herself. Sometimes she would have to walk a long distance to be able to go and retrieve those date pits to feed the animals.

One time she was carrying the date pits - you can imagine Asma, that woman carrying those heavy date pits and she's fulfilling her labor tasks. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم sees her, he sees a woman struggling, he knows it's Asma and he's with the companions. So he offers help - he's on the camel and he tells the animal and the camel to stop, and signals for Asma, that "here I am for support if you need, we can take you to your destination without having you carry it."

Asma رضي الله عنها, just like all of the female companions, they had so much modesty to the point that when they would walk in the marketplaces, it's described in the books of Sira that their عبايا would literally be touching the ends of the walls because they didn't want to be in the middle mixing with the men.

Asma رضي الله عنها remembered the protective غيرة and jealousy of her husband Zubair رضي الله عنه. So she knew that she didn't want to be put in the uncomfortable situation where the companions are there, and so she didn't go. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم understood, and he left with the companions.

Asma رضي الله عنها وعن أبيها later conveyed this to Zubair. She conveyed this to her husband that "I was there, and I was carrying the date pits, and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم came by, and he offered support. But because of your غيرة and your protective jealousy, I didn't go. I knew your protective jealousy, I didn't go."

Zubair in response said: "والله, it's heavier on me that you had to carry all that long distance, rather than you having to get support and help from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم."

Look at the حياء and the modesty and the shame that the Sahaba رضي الله عنهم had - not just the women, but the men as well.

Ali's Modesty

Ali رضي الله عنه, as you know, was a son-in-law, the صهر of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. He had personal private questions that he had to ask, but because he was married to the daughter of the Prophet, he didn't want to ask. He felt shame, he felt modesty - how can I say this and I'm married to the Prophet's daughter? So he asked through someone else.

Look at how the Sahaba رضي الله عنهم were so careful with the words that they used to say, so careful in their actions and how they would dress.

Aisha's Modesty

Aisha رضي الله عنها - when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was buried in her home, where he passed away on her lap, and then her father Abu Bakr was then buried there, and then later Umar رضي الله عنه was buried there - out of shyness for the presence of Umar, even though he's not alive, he is in عالم البرزخ, he is in the life of the برزخ, she would cover up, she would wear hijab in her own حجرة.

Can you imagine the shyness of the female companions? Can you imagine the shyness of the Sahaba رضي الله عنهم? How much حياء they used to have? اللهم ارزقنا الحياء

The Shortest Khutbah in History

I'm going to tell you about one of the shortest خطبة that was perhaps ever done, at least in the history of Tunisia, of Tunis. One of the greatest scholars of the last century, one of the greatest مفسرون of the last century, was the Shaykh by the name of Muhammad Tahir ibn Ashur.

Shaykh Tahir ibn Ashur wrote one of the most famous تفاسير and perhaps the most important in the last 100 years - At-Tahrir wa at-Tanwir. This incredible giant of a scholar had to give خطبة in the masjid of Zaytuna in Tunis.

As he was walking - and remember Tunis faced French colonialism, and they used to go and attack the hijab and made laws against the hijab, and so he is in this type of environment post that - where he goes in السوق العتيق, the old marketplaces, and he sees how once the women used to wear hijab and he knows the history of his land, the history of his people, now uncovered, undressed, not wearing proper clothing. He went to the خطبة and he stood...

The Call for Modesty

On the منبر he said such few words but so heavy on the heart. He said:

He said, "Whose women, whose sisters, whose daughters are walking unclothed, adorned publicly in the market places?" And then he sat for the first خطبة and then he stood up in the second خطبة and then he said something. And remember this is not a fiqh issue, but he is giving a diagnosis as a sheikh. He knows what is troubling his society. He says:

There is no خير - what benefit is there in your صلاة when your women are unclothed and undressed?

The Connection Between Worship and Character

This is not an issue about women. He here is addressing an issue that when you do عبادة, when you are a person of the masjid, when you are a person of صلاة, when you are going to fast in the month of Ramadan, it's not just about being Muslim in appearance, that you just do the عبادة. But the عبادة, that صلاة, that fasting should shape your behavior outside, should shape how you are in the workplace, should shape how you are in the markets, should shape how you go out and live. That is what the عبادة should do. That is what صلاة should do.

I ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to make us all people of modesty, to make us all people of حياء.

صلوا على رسول الله، يا باغي الخير أقبل، يا باغي الخير أقبل، اللهم بلغنا رمضان

Practical Guidance for Spiritual Preparation

My dear brothers, we spoke about the importance of modesty and حياء and why we needed to be spiritually alive in this spiritually dead environment that we live in. I'm going to leave you all with two things to preserve and guard and two things to leave as the month of Ramadan approaches.

First Thing to Guard: Your Sins

From the first thing for us to guard is our sins. Guard your sins - yes, guard them from the public eye. You have sins? Fix it between you and Allah. Make it private. Don't publicize your sins. So go back, check your social media - who should I stop following? Who should I stop watching? And what things and what posts and what things should I remove from my accounts? Don't publicize your sins.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6069)

All of my ummah will be forgiven except those that publicize, because then you inspire others. There is a greater فساد and greater corruption that happens when you make it public. May Allah forgive us.

Second Thing to Guard: Your Gaze

The second thing to guard is your gaze - غض البصر.

Guard your gaze, lower your gaze as much as you are able. فاتقوا الله ما استطعتم - as much as you are able have تقوى of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Guard your gaze as you approach the month of Ramadan. Don't doom scroll, because you all know in social media you might be watching something pure and all of a sudden something نجس and something خبيث comes out of nowhere. May Allah protect our eyes يا رب العالمين. That is شيطان's poisonous arrow into our hearts - the زنا of the eyes.

Two Things to Avoid

First: Shameless Entertainment

Two things to avoid: shameless entertainment, shameless entertainment.

Be careful of listening to music because it takes away from the modesty of a person. It takes away from the shame that exists in their heart and it motivates them to do حرام things. So Ramadan is approaching - stop listening to music. Replace it with قرآن, replace it with ناشيد, but stop listening to music and you will see a big change in your life by إن شاء الله the end of the month of Ramadan. اللهم بلغنا رمضان

That's the first thing to avoid - shameless entertainment, whether it be Netflix, whether it be doom scrolling, whether it be just going in hours into different websites. Leave all of that, change your condition. May Allah change our condition يا رب.

Second: Leave Off Sinning

The second thing is leave off sinning. Whatever sins, whatever addictions, whatever it may be - stop sinning. Because the more you sin, the first time you do it you'll feel regret. The second time you do it you'll feel less regret. Third time, fourth time, fifth time, until a person is so deeply drowning in their sins they no longer see it as sins. That's when the حياء is removed from their hearts.

Final Du'a

I ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to protect us.

May Allah make us people of نور. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى make us people of حياء. I ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to grant us as men and women modesty as the صحابة used to embody that modesty.