In Defense of the Quiet Muslim | Jumu'ah Khutbah | Dr. Omar Suleiman

In Defense of the Quiet Muslim

We begin by praising Allah and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. And we bear witness that Muhammad ﷺ is His final messenger. We ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon Him, the Prophets and Messengers that came before Him, His family and companions that served alongside Him, and those that follow in His blessed path until the Day of Judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma Ameen.

The Prophetic Defense of Shyness

Dear brothers and sisters, Abdullah ibn Umar رضي الله تعالى عنهما narrates:

That the Prophet ﷺ once walked by and he saw a man that was being admonished by his brother. And the way that he was being admonished was he was being told that you have too much حياء. You're too shy. You're too modest. You're too quiet.

His brother is telling him, you're too shy — it's going to cause you to be harmed in life because you're not someone — the implication, as Abdullah ibn Umar رضي الله تعالى عنهما is narrating — is that you're not going to be seen in a light of strength. And this could come back to haunt you. You need to put yourself out there.

The Prophet ﷺ said, "Leave him alone, for shyness is part of iman. Shyness is part of faith."

Now there's a prototype that I want you to imagine here. This is a brother talking to a brother. This is a parent talking to a child. This is a friend talking to a friend. This is a person who, in a society that values visibility, is being told you don't assert yourself enough. You're too quiet. You're too meager. You're too shy. You need to do more.

And there are so many people that fit this profile, and this conversation is one of those conversations that's universal — across time and culture. Meaning, these conversations happen in every single generation. You have a person who doesn't like to get out of a certain personality type that perhaps Allah created them with, and someone telling them, "Hey, get out there. You're too shy. If you don't speak then this is going to happen. If you don't assert yourself then this is going to happen."

And when the Prophet ﷺ says "Leave him alone, for verily حياء is from iman," modesty or shyness is from faith — as the ulema mention: لا تُفسِد عليه — don't mess up a good quality that Allah gave to him. This is not a bad quality. That's something that Allah gave to him. Don't mess it up for him. لا تُفسِد عليه هذه الخُلُق الحسنة. Don't mess it up for him. Allah created him this way and you can't have enough of this.

The Age of Personal Branding vs. The Quranic Paradigm

Now, this is going to be a topic that's going to require some unpacking, especially as it relates to the time that we live in today. We live in an age of personal branding. You have to speak up to get ahead. You're not valuable unless you're visible. You need to make sure that people can see your work. You need to make sure that people can see who you are. You need to make sure that you put this out and that you put that out.

And in that type of messaging, you don't realize that some people who hold their tongues don't hold their hearts — their hearts are speaking. And there are some people that quietly get work done and they are just as valuable to a community and to a society as people that are more out there, people that assert themselves more in the public place. And in that messaging, you start to make mistakes. So prophetic restraint is looked at as cowardice. Because the Prophet ﷺ taught us حِلْم — he taught us restraint — and then that starts to be looked at as cowardice. Someone is made to look timid and weak because they're not ready to get into the arena of people that are thumping their chests.

What does this mean for the time that we are living in right now? First and foremost, recognize that the Qur'anic paradigm is opposite to this paradigm that's put forth in an era of personal branding.

In fact, Allah when He describes the hypocrites, He describes them as always trying to make sure that people notice them in the gathering — saying things that make no sense whatsoever, just making an excuse to make sure that they weigh in with something, that their voices are heard. So the same people who are trying to undermine the Prophet ﷺ are trying to inflate their importance by saying — when the Prophet ﷺ walks into the room — أَنْصِتُوا لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ, "Everyone be quiet, the Messenger of Allah just came in" — as if, "I gave you permission, Ya Rasulallah, I quieted them down for you. I'm your guy." They try to make their presence known all the time.

Or as al-Fudayl says, this comes off as "Remember when I did this" and "Remember when I did that," which is الْمَنّ.

"Do not ruin your charity with الْمَنّ وَالْأَذَى" — boasting, or hurting the person you're giving charity to. الْمَنّ is broader here. It's: "Remember when I did this?" And "I remember when the people were sitting and I said this." And "I remember 20 years ago I said this." And "I remember 2 months ago — if they would have listened to me, then we wouldn't have found ourselves in this predicament." Inflation of self-importance.

And Allah says:

The opposite is in the Qur'anic paradigm — don't self-promote, because Allah knows who's actually pious. So don't be someone that puts yourself out there so much, because Allah knows who's actually a pious person.

Defining the Quiet Muslim We Are Defending

So the name of this khutbah is In Defense of the Quiet Muslim. But I want to be very specific here — not any quiet Muslim. Because just like some speech is praiseworthy and some speech is not, some silence is praiseworthy and some silence is not praiseworthy.

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 49)

"Whoever sees an evil, let him change it with his hand. If he cannot do so, then with his tongue." It's not praiseworthy when evil happens in front of you and you don't say anything. That's not praiseworthy silence. It's not praiseworthy quietness.

So this is not about tone. This is not about speech versus silence. This is about intentional speech versus intentional silence, and you need both types of personalities in the community. So this is not in defense of quietness as a whole. This is in defense of the quiet, hardworking Muslim — that quiet hardworking person who gets things done in a community but easily falls under the radar. And how praiseworthy this personality actually is in society.

The Prophet's Own Intentional Silence

The Prophet ﷺ himself, as he perfects the different forms of أخلاق, the forms of character — his guidance was to speak, and then to model what he speaks as guidance back to Allah. And even he ﷺ — what is he distinguished by? His speech is intentional. His silence is intentional.

Jabir ibn Samurah رضي الله عنه says in the narration of Sharh al-Sunnah:

(Al-Baghawi, Sharh al-Sunnah)

The Prophet ﷺ would go long periods without saying something. He was actually someone that would sit in a gathering — like, who knows more than him ﷺ? Who weighs in more meaningfully than him ﷺ? And yet the Prophet ﷺ was طَوِيل الصَّمْت — he could sit in a gathering and maintain his silence. He spoke when he needed to speak ﷺ, but he mastered thoughtful silence.

Sufyan al-Thawri comments on this and he says:

(Attributed to Sufyan al-Thawri in books of zuhd and adab)

"It is said that long periods of silence is the key to deep worship." Like you can't achieve deep worship, deep عبادة, unless you actually know how to be quiet for a long time — to hold your tongue for a long time. So one element of this is that it opens up certain dimensions of thought when you're not running your tongue all the time, when your brain is doing more work and you're not speaking and you have a chance to let the radars and the inputs work properly.

And Mu'adh ibn Jabal رضي الله تعالى عنه says:

(Attributed to Mu'adh ibn Jabal in books of zuhd)

"Speak to people little, speak to your Lord often — it may be that your heart will perceive Allah as a result of that." Your heart will perceive Allah deeply when you speak less to people and you speak more to Allah.

The Tongue and Saving Oneself from Sin

So this is one element. But beyond just perceiving Allah, it's also saving yourself from sins. The Prophet ﷺ is described by Khalid ibn Abi Imran:

(Referenced in al-Mundhiri, al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib; similar narrations in Musnad Ahmad)

The Prophet ﷺ would hold his tongue for a long time and he would say, "I fear for you because of this. May Allah have mercy on a servant who speaks good and gets rewarded as a result, or refrains from speaking evil and is safe as a result."

Profound. Again — intentional speech, intentional silence. The problem is that when someone talks a lot, they don't know when to turn it off. And when someone is silent too much, sometimes they don't know when to turn it on. So the Prophet ﷺ is saying may Allah have mercy on a person who speaks good and gets the reward, or refrains from speaking evil and is safe from the punishment.

Being Unnoticed as a Virtue: Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas

One element of being the quiet Muslim — this prototype in society and a community — is actually being careful with your speech. But then there's this element: but if you don't speak, if you're quiet, you're not going to get noticed. People aren't going to notice you.

And subhanAllah, we find that in our deen, being unnoticed is actually a virtue. Being unnoticed is a virtue.

And there's a whole story behind this — the story of Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas رضي الله تعالى عنه, one of the ten مُبَشَّرِين بِالْجَنَّة, the ten promised paradise. When Uthman رضي الله تعالى عنه was killed, Sa'd رضي الله تعالى عنه retreated to the mountains, tended his sheep, took care of his business, did good — he avoided فِتنة. His son came up to him — his son's name was Umar, Umar ibn Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas. And as Sa'd saw him coming, he said:

"I seek refuge in Allah from the evil of this person coming to me." And the ulema say about Sa'd رضي الله تعالى عنه: موفَّق في الدعاء — he is مُسْتَجَاب الدَّعْوَة, his du'a is answered. People feared his du'a. And he has توفيق, he has success in the precision of his du'a. He didn't call his son evil — he said, "I seek refuge in You, O Allah, from the evil that he's carrying right now, because he has something with him that he's about to say that's not good, and I can tell by looking at him and the face that he's coming with."

And Umar — Umar ibn Sa'd — came up to him and said, "People in Medina are now basically drawing lots and positions of leadership are being assigned in the wake of Uthman رضي الله تعالى عنه being killed. Aren't you going to get in there? Like, you're Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas. You're one of the six of the شُورَى of Umar, right? You're eligible for any position in society. There's no ceiling for Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas."

And Sa'd put his hand on his chest and said "Uskut" — be quiet. He said:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2965)

"I heard the Prophet ﷺ say: Allah loves the servant who is taqi, who is ghani, who is khafi" — pious, self-sufficient, and hidden.

Three descriptions — and all three of these descriptions have their own chapter of virtue. What it means to be تَقِيّ: fearful of committing sin, mindful of Allah, watching yourself with great accountability. What it means to be غَنِيّ: self-sufficient — you try not to ask people for anything, you try not to depend on people for anything, because one of the characteristics of a believer is independence. A believer should try to be independent from the creation as much as possible. And خَفِيّ: hide your good deeds. That in and of itself is a trait in Islam.

But subhanAllah, there is a way that they all connect together as well. تَقِيّ is someone who would fear sin — so why risk speaking in a way that might be sinful and might ruin everything good that I've done? غَنِيّ — I don't need praise from people. So I'm okay. I don't need to impose myself on a gathering. I'm okay with going unnoticed in this effort, in this work, or whatever it may be, because I don't depend on people's praise. It's okay. I can be in the shadows and I'm actually happier there and more comfortable there. I don't have to be out front. And خَفِيّ, as a result of that — I don't need to be visible, as long as I'm visible to Allah.

So the idea here is that this quiet Muslim is still productive, but they're just uninterested in praise. They're still achieving results — they're just not looking for recognition. They're still working, but they're working in the shadows, and the light is actually because of them, but they're okay with being in the shadows and doing what Allah has given to them. So they're not chasing the credit, but they're always there doing what needs to actually get done.

The Most Precious Friend: A Beloved Hadith

And my favorite hadith in this regard is a hadith from Abu Umama رضي الله عنه on the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2347; Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4117)

"Verily, the most envied of my friends — the ones I look to with the most admiration — is a believer who doesn't have too much money, who is given to prayer, who is excellent in the worship of their Lord, who obeys Allah in secret, and who is obscure amongst people." لَا يُشَارُ إِلَيْهِ بِالْأَصَابِع — meaning, when he walks into a gathering and leaves, he is actually unrecognized. That's the person that can pray at a masjid for many years and get things done, but people don't actually know their name and people don't point to them. وَكَانَ رِزْقُهُ كَفَافًا فَصَبَرَ عَلَى ذَلِكَ — and their sustenance is little, and they are patient with that.

And then the Prophet ﷺ goes on to say something powerful. Someone might say, "But then people aren't going to know you and they're not going to make du'a for you and you're going to go unnoticed." Some people have different pathways to Jannah. He said ﷺ — like he grabbed his hand ﷺ — that this person:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2347; Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4117)

Death comes to them, very few people cry over them, and they have very few people to inherit from them. But wait — what about the big janazahs? What about the people that do so much and everyone says mashAllah? If they were sincere in that, Allah عز وجل writes all that down for them as sincere شهادة. But just because someone did not have human شهداء, human witnesses, doesn't mean they weren't being witnessed by the ملائكة — by the angels — and by Allah.

So just because قَلَّتْ بَوَاكِيه — there are very few people that would cry over this person, or attend this person's janazah, or know who this person is — doesn't mean that they're not of the same status or sometimes even greater. The idea is: Allah already knows them.

The Press Release at Death

Now here's what I want to come to in conclusion of this. SubhanAllah, the press release is often at death. The work speaks for itself at death. And how people come to know of that person when they pass away often comes through two ways.

Either you have people that come out and bear witness to that person's good — they say, "This person used to do this for me," "This person did this for me," "This person did that for me" — and that person was doing that for people individually. Then those testimonies sort of accumulate — as the scholars say, they build on one another — and then a full picture of that personality is built. It's like: he was visiting this sick person, but he was also visiting that sick person. He was secretly giving to this person and helping that person. And so when that person dies, then 30, 40, 50 people come out with the same story. So that's one way.

Or — the void is now felt. The void is now felt. And then once someone is gone, you go, "Oh, wow. Now we see what's missing."

Ali Zayn al-Abidin: The Secret Giver of Medina

And this is what's described about the great Imam Ali Zayn al-Abidin رضي الله تعالى عنه, the great grandson of the Prophet ﷺ and the son of al-Husayn — that he used to secretly go out at night and give صدقة. Muhammad ibn Ishaq says:

(Ibn Sa'd, al-Tabaqat al-Kubra; Ibn Kathir, Siyar A'lam al-Nubala' via al-Dhahabi)

"People in Medina were living off of somebody and they didn't know who they were living off of — until he died. Then they realized that they were living off of Ali ibn al-Husayn. He was the one that used to come and drop things off at night. He was the one that was taking care of them. And they had made du'a for him at night without even knowing who he was, and the marks of the bread that he used to carry showed on his back رضي الله تعالى عنه."

So either it's the piling up of testimony, or the clear absence that's felt as a result. The point is: some people are going to be this and some people are going to be that.

Brother Marwan Maruf: A Living Example

But sometimes that person is still alive. And one of those people is our brother Marwan Maruf. Our brother Marwan, who is not quiet in the ultimate sense — by all means, he's a community leader, mashAllah, he goes out front when he needs to be out front, and he's done so many great things — so many great things that we know him for. But what you're noticing as he has been unjustly detained and pulled away from this community — and we cannot allow for our people to be stolen away from us, just like we can't allow our people in Gaza to be killed in silence — people are coming with the stories. "I remember when he drove to me and did this." "I remember when he did this for me." "I remember when he did that for me." And you have the piling up of stories and stories and stories and stories of a person.

I mention this to say that you honor a person like that by fighting for that person. And you honor a person like that by being like that person. We need more of those people. And we need to fight for those people.

And so dear brothers and sisters, please follow the case of our brother Marwan — and the fight for him. May Allah free him soon. Follow it and be a part of it. Because even if you didn't know him before, you will know about him through what other people are saying about him.

Closing Du'a

May Allah free him. May Allah عز وجل be with our brothers and sisters in Gaza and Sudan and all over. And may Allah free our sister Liqa' Kurdiya and all of those that are unjustly imprisoned. Allahumma Ameen.