The Tawbah Allah Never Rejects | Jumu'ah Khutbah | Dr. Omar Suleiman

The Tawbah Allah Never Rejects

I seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and from the evil of our deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides, none is misguided, and whomsoever He misguides, none can guide him. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and that there is no partner for Him.

To Him belongs the kingdom and all praise. He gives life and causes death, and He is Ever-Living, Never-Dying. In His hand is all that is good, and He has power over all things.

I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger, and that he is His chosen one and His companion. He fulfilled the trust, and conveyed the message, and advised the Ummah, and exposed the darkness, and left us on the white path. Its night is like its day, and nothing escapes it but destruction.

So upon him is the best of prayers, and the perfect submission. And upon his family and companions, and those who await his sunnah until the Day of Recompense. O Allah, make us of them, and of those who believe, and do good deeds, and adhere to the truth, and adhere to patience. Ameen, O Lord of the worlds.

And I advise you and myself to fear Allah. And He has commanded us to do the right thing.

We begin by praising Allah and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. And we bear witness that Muhammad ﷺ is His final messenger. We ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in his blessed path until the Day of Judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen.

The Du'a of Abu Bakr as-Siddiq

Dear brothers and sisters, Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رضي الله تعالى عنه — and he rarely has narrations like this — he said that he asked the Prophet ﷺ: "Sa'altu rasoolallahi ﷺ, alimni du'a an ad'u bihi fi salati." O Messenger of Allah, teach me a du'a that I can say in my prayers.

You know the person asking, and you know the person being asked ﷺ. You know the status of Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رضي الله تعالى عنه in the sight of Allah and his goodness. And he's asking the Prophet ﷺ, give me a du'a that I can say in my prayer.

So the Prophet ﷺ said to him, say:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 834; Sahih Muslim, Book 48, Hadith 84)

"O Allah, I have wronged myself tremendously — ظُلْمًا كَثِيرًا. And there is no one who can forgive sins except for You. So forgive me with a forgiveness from You, and have mercy upon me. Verily, You are the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful."

Now, we rarely have narrations like this from Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رضي الله تعالى عنه, because of the time that he passed away, and these aren't the types of conversations that we typically have between the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and Abu Bakr as-Siddiq. But the formula of that du'a is incredible.

And the ulama talk about this idea of what is the secret of tawbah that the Prophet ﷺ has embedded in all of the supplications that he taught to his companions. And how is it that no one is exempt from some of the parts of that formula. You know when someone didn't really do anything wrong but they ask you for some advice and you have to give them a million qualifiers and say, listen, it's not you, it's not like you did anything wrong, you're good — but for somebody else, if they wanted to say this, this is what they would say. But the Prophet ﷺ is telling Abu Bakr to say إِنِّي ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي ظُلْمًا كَثِيرًا — that I've wronged myself tremendously — without all of the qualifiers that "no, it's not you, O Abu Bakr."

He tells Abu Bakr رضي الله تعالى عنه this because there is at the core of this du'a an essential ingredient to tawbah and something that perfectly captures the relationship between the servant and his Lord. And that is that when a person sins — and we've been talking about this in the last 10 nights — they've forgotten either themselves or they've forgotten who their Lord is, or it's a combination of the two.

The First Ingredient: Acknowledging the Sin — ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي

Building on that idea of:

Don't be like those who forgot Allah so Allah caused them to forget themselves. And the first words that capture that essential ingredient of tawbah — of not forgetting yourself — is ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي: I wronged myself.

When Adam alayhis salam returned back to Allah along with his wife Hawa:

"Our Lord, we wronged ourselves." Now just stop with that for a moment — ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا. We wronged ourselves.

When Yunus alayhis salam was in the bottom of the ocean, in the stomach of that whale, and he called out to Allah in darkness:

"There is no god but You. How perfect are You! I was amongst the transgressors."

The only way that Adam alayhis salam and Hawa are describing themselves, and the only way that Yunus alayhis salam is describing himself, and the only way that the Prophet ﷺ is teaching Abu Bakr as-Siddiq — who is the best after the Prophets — to describe himself, is: I wronged myself. ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي. With absolutely no qualifiers whatsoever.

And so the first ingredient that the scholars mention is what the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4252; also reported in Musnad Ahmad)

Regret is repentance. And the first part of regret is الِاعْتِرَافُ بِالذَّنْبِ — to recognize that you committed the sin and that there was absolutely no excuse for you to commit that sin, and that you should not qualify your regret in any way whatsoever by saying: "Ya Allah, I was young." "Ya Allah, I was angry." "Ya Allah, but You know how this person was." "Ya Allah, but You know what I was going through at this particular time." No.

النَّدَمُ تَوْبَةٌ — as the Prophet ﷺ said — regret is repentance. It is absolute اعتراف. To acknowledge what you did and to feel the regret for what you did.

Now, you might be thinking: well, how does this not lead to a sense of self-hatred and despair? And the scholars say that because every single person at some point — فَاعْتَرَفْنَا بِذُنُوبِنَا — every single person will come to acknowledge their sins. Some of them acknowledge their sins in this life. Some of them acknowledge their sins in the next life. The only ones who should despair are the ones who delay their acknowledgement to the next life.

And Allah even uses a different word for it altogether so that they don't get confused. The word is hasra. يَا حَسْرَةً عَلَى الْعِبَادِ. يَا حَسْرَتَىٰ عَلَىٰ مَا فَرَّطتُ فِي جَنبِ اللَّهِ. Hasra is a word of regret that I cannot come back from. Nadam is a word of regret that I can still come back to Allah with. Allah never mixes the two concepts.

Because so long as you're still here, so long as you're still alive and able to acknowledge what you have done — the admitting of that sin, no matter how painful it is, no matter how big the sin was, no matter how shameful it was, no matter how long you abstained from repenting to Allah for it, no matter how many people you took on a ride along the way — as long as it's before you stop breathing, it can still be nadam and not hasra.

Now the ulama mention that there could be hasra in this life as well, and that is the person who knows that they messed up, who acknowledges that they messed up, but acknowledges no desire whatsoever to come back to Allah. "Yeah, I messed up, so what? It is what it is. I'm going to hell. It's okay."

SubhanAllah, I was in a Muslim country just two months ago and it was really sad to me. There was a non-Muslim that was considering becoming Muslim who was telling me about a Muslim friend that secretly drinks alcohol with him. And this non-Muslim was saying that he told his Muslim friend — because it was Ramadan and they were drinking alcohol — "Wait a minute, it's Ramadan. Don't you at least quit for that?" And the Muslim was saying, "You know, I closed the door on heaven for myself a long time ago. I already know that I'm going to hell." The non-Muslim who's thinking about becoming Muslim is telling me this about a Muslim friend. That's a dramatic example, but you find people that will say, "Yeah, I made this mistake in my life, but I'll live with it. Hopefully all the other good stuff that I do will cover for it." That's an expression of hasra. Because there's no desire whatsoever to come back to Allah with that sin.

But the first part of this is ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي. ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي. ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي.

Iblis vs. Adam: The Contrast of Blame and Acknowledgement

And SubhanAllah, Imam Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahullah — he compares this to Iblis, to the devil. And how Shaytan said:

"My Lord, because You led me astray." And what does it mean when he says بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي? What exactly is Iblis blaming? Is he saying that You led me astray because You led me to believe that I was going to be this certain creature with You and then suddenly You shot me down? Was he saying that I was getting up this whole time just to be smacked down because You led me astray by putting Adam alayhis salam in front of me? You know how much I hate people being in front of me. And You put Adam alayhis salam in front of me and I couldn't handle that.

And SubhanAllah, he says something in مَدَارِجِ السَّالِكِينَ — and I'll paraphrase it because it's a long section which is really interesting. He said: احْتَجَّ بِالْقَدَرِ — that what he's blaming is divine decree. Look at the difference:

Adam alayhis salam — اعْتَرَفَ بِالذَّنْبِ فَاجْتَبَاهُ رَبُّهُ وَهَدَىٰ — acknowledged his sins, and so Allah chose him and guided him.

Iblis — احْتَجَّ بِالْقَدَرِ — Iblis blamed the divine decree. "You wrote this upon me." بِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي أَيْ كَتَبْتَ عَلَيَّ — "You wrote this upon me." فَلَعَنَهُ اللَّهُ وَأَقْصَاهُ — so Allah cursed him and expelled him.

See the difference? Adam alayhis salam — اعْتَرَفَ بِالذَّنْبِ — he acknowledged it. So Allah chose him. Not just forgave him — Allah chose him and guided him. Iblis — احْتَجَّ بِالْقَدَرِ — he blamed the divine decree. "You wrote this upon me. You already knew this was going to happen. This was the grand setup — not my choice in it. All along I was going to be a Shaytan, a Rajim." So Allah cursed him and expelled him, made him Rajim, distant from Him.

So what's the human tendency that falls within that? The human tendency is not just that a person explicitly blames someone else for the sins that they've committed in life or for their sinful tendencies — "Yeah but I ended up with this person, I have these people around me, I was at this phase in my life, and had I not been in this particular situation I would have done this." It's not just that. It's that a person says to Allah: I did not have enough incentive to stay away from committing that sin.

You see, just as in Ramadan we're paying attention to the blessings that we often take for granted — that even if there were certain elements in your life that pulled you towards that sin, there was always enough from Allah for you not to commit that sin in the first place. احْتِجَاجٌ بِالْقَدَرِ is when you're apologizing to someone and you're saying, "But you know you did this, and you know how this sets me off, and you know how this happens, and you know how this plays a role in that."

Adam alayhis salam did not say any of that. ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي — I wronged myself. Yunus alayhis salam did not say: "Ya Allah, You know how annoying my people are. You know how hard of a time they gave me." Adam alayhis salam did not say: "You know how tempting the tree was." Abu Bakr رضي الله تعالى عنه did not say: "Ya Allah, You know my status with You." Every single person has to have that اعتراف — that acknowledging of the sin.

Now here's the next part of that. The ulama mention that there are sins that go unrepented for in the past — they exist in the past. Now someone might be saying, well, isn't it that Ramadan forgives everything? Laylatul Qadr forgives everything? Yes, it may be that Allah forgave everything. But that coming to terms with something that you did is one of the greatest ways to finally come close to Allah and remove all of the barriers.

The vulnerability of اعترافنا بذنوبنا — like I don't care if I'm 70 years old and I think back to something that I did that was wrong when I was 30 years old, and I say: "Ya Allah, I never actually came to terms with that. Forgive me for what I did." And when it comes to people and the conflicts that you have with people — how many of us have these unresolved conflicts that are sitting in our closet, and we're like, "Yeah, hopefully they moved on. You know, there was some give and take here." Let Allah do the giving for what you took — the giving for what you took of hardship.

But if you can reopen that file and clean it — isn't it beautiful that you can go back and delete your history? No — you know what, I had some wrongdoings too. ظَلَمْتُ نَفْسِي. And as Uthman رضي الله تعالى عنه — when he told the young boy that he poked to pinch his ear — he said, "Pinch it." Even though he was an old man, he said: قِصَاصُ الدُّنْيَا أَهْوَنُ مِنْ قِصَاصِ الْآخِرَةِ — I'd rather feel the avenging for that in this dunya than in the akhira. Let yourself acknowledge it. Like, no — I was really wrong. What's the worst that can come out of that? You know what the worst that can come out of that is? In most situations: "Wow, thank you for apologizing." Maybe they did actually move on. Maybe they did actually move on. But you're building a relationship now. There's some خَيْر that comes out of that. Some goodness that comes out of that.

The Second Ingredient: Knowing Who Your Lord Is — وَلَا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ

The second ingredient that the ulama mention is from the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ that a person said, "My Lord, forgive me for my sin." And what did Allah say to the heavens?

"My servant knows that he has a Lord that not just holds accountable for sin, but forgives for sins."

"And no one forgives those sins except for You. You're the one who forgives those sins."

"Those who, when they commit those deeds and they remember Allah and they seek forgiveness for what they do — who will forgive their sins except for Allah?"

"My servant knows he has a Lord who forgives." قَدْ غَفَرْتُ لَهُ — "So I forgave him."

Because remember — in the first part you forgot who you were. But in the second part, if you're not coming back to Allah, you forgot who He is. And this part of وَلَا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ — you think Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه doesn't know that? You think the Prophet ﷺ doesn't know that? It's reigniting that connection. It's reaffirming that you know who your Lord is — that not only did you not have the right to commit that sin, but that He's the only one that can pull you out of it.

Because sometimes when a person falls, they start to think about what they can do to get themselves out of this situation. And they think of all of these ways to get around it instead of facing it. And the reason why they don't want to face it is because they worry about the consequence. But Allah can remove that consequence in an instant if you know who He is.

وَلَا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ — no one forgives those sins except for You. No one can pull me out of this except for You.

Conclusion: O Allah, I Broke It — Only You Can Fix It

And so dear brothers and sisters, there are these two domains that are embedded — especially in these last 10 nights — because that coming close to Allah of knowing who He is and knowing who you are requires you to say: O Allah, I broke it. O Allah, only You can fix it. O Allah, I broke it. O Allah, only You can fix it.

And those two things have to be embedded no matter how old you are, no matter how righteous you think you are, no matter how much you think you've been wronged in life. Those ingredients have to be there in order for there to be a meaningful tawbah to Allah in these last 10 nights and beyond.

We ask Allah — who is the only one, Al-Ghafoor Al-Rahim, who can forgive us — to forgive us for what we have committed against ourselves and others. And we ask Allah to put in us the pain of regret that inspires repentance, not the pain of remorse that inspires paralysis. And we ask Allah to remove from us the barriers of ego and arrogance and self-righteousness that stop us from coming close to Him and stop us from removing that which has caused us to hurt other people as well. Allahumma ameen.