Polishing the Heart After Sin | Imam Kaiser Aslam | Guardians of the Heart Conference

Polishing the Heart After Sin

We begin in the name of Allah. We ask Allah to send peace and blessings upon our final Messenger ﷺ, those who supported him, those who are alongside him, and may Allah make us amongst those who are in his blessed footsteps. Ameen. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

It's an honor to be here with all of you and to, inshallah, kick off. We've had beautiful, beautiful words of Allah reminding us and waking up, inshallah, that piece of flesh that our Messenger ﷺ told us about — in which he said that if a small piece of flesh is sound, everything else will be sound. That's what we're here to talk about: the matters of the heart.

The Goal: Qalbun Salim

The topic I'm going to be speaking about today — we all know this — is that inshallah we want to arrive on the Day of Judgment with qalbun salim. May Allah grant us qalbun salim. Ameen. Say Ameen. Don't be stingy with your du'as. Because we know that if you come with a sound heart, you have won. It doesn't matter what it took you to get there, but if you come to Allah with a sound heart, you've won. That's what we want — but then sometimes there are barriers to that. We have to understand: what's the difference between a healthy heart and an unhealthy heart?

The Hadith of the Black Dot

There is a hadith of the Messenger ﷺ found in Tirmidhi and a couple of other hadith collections. It was narrated that Abu Huraira heard the Messenger ﷺ say:

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3334)

Verily, when the servant commits a sin, a black dot is placed upon his heart. If he abandons the sin and seeks forgiveness and repents, the heart will become polished. But if he continues and returns back to the sin, the blackness will increase until it overcomes his heart. And the scholars commented: it overcomes the heart so that the light found within it can no longer be recognized.

What I really wanted to do today is understand what are the barriers that affect the heart, so we can understand a little bit. We know we're supposed to polish this thing. We know certain things illuminate our hearts and other things darken our hearts — but what is the nature of this beautiful organ that Allah has placed within all of us?

The Physical and Spiritual Heart

Yes, the physical heart as well — because without the physical heart you can't actually live. It pumps some 60,000 times per day. It's constantly in motion. We literally measure whether someone is physically alive or dead based on whether their heart is actually in motion or whether it's not. And now even medical science can get into how the heart can stop, but someone can still be resuscitated. How beautiful is that? Because the same thing can be said about the spiritual heart. There are times when people's spiritual hearts stop; they become numb. One of our sessions is going to tell us about ghafla, about heedlessness — but then it can be revived in that same way. So there are many parallels with the spiritual heart and the literal heart.

The Parable of Darkness Upon Darkness

What I want to really focus on is actually one ayah of the Qur'an in which Allah tells us about these barriers that can take place that cause a heart to be lost. It is the 40th ayah of Surah an-Nur — the Surah of Light. In it Allah tells us about these barriers, after talking about another parable where someone finds themselves lost in the desert, searching for water but never actually getting to that water. Allah then presents another parable:

It's like the one who is lost at sea — لُجِّيٍّ — where you see nothing but sea on your right and sea on your left. Sometimes you're on a boat and you can see the land. This isn't one of those. You don't see anything but waves all around you. يَغْشَاهُ مَوْجٌ مِّن فَوْقِهِ — all that is around him are waves upon which are other waves. So it's not a smooth ocean, but a very rocky ocean. Of course we can think about this literally, but you can also think about this being the situation of someone's heart from time to time.

There are times in which your heart feels alive, and there are other times in which your heart feels dead. What happened? This sin after this sin, this influence after this influence — it feels like I can never get any footing. And that's really what's being described here. And Allah then continues: مِّن فَوْقِهِ سَحَابٌ — and on top of it are dark clouds as well. So it is darkness upon darkness upon darkness. That's a situation hearts can sometimes find themselves in. A heart that doesn't remember Allah, a heart that isn't involved in righteousness and doesn't have good company around it — it is darkness after darkness after darkness.

Two Types of Barriers to the Heart

Our scholars have put forward that there are two types of diseases — two types of sins — that have an effect on the heart. There are what are known as shubuhaat: sins you fall into because you have an improper understanding of something. And then there is shahawat: sins you fall into because one of your appetites got the better of you. And the treatment of these two things is very different.

Shahawat — Sins of Appetite

I'll give you some examples of shahawat. Shahawat is someone who can't lower their gaze — they know it's wrong, they just can't stop. Every single time they're alone, they open their phone, they open their laptop, and it goes to places they don't want. And it's overtaking them. Sometimes it's things like greed — I know this is wrong, but they fall into stealing.

Shubuhaat — Sins of Misunderstanding

Shubuhaat are different. They're not excesses of appetite. What shubuhaat are is an improper understanding where the actual issue comes in. Is it really true that I can't be friends with that girl or that guy? How am I going to find someone anyway? You start justifying in your own head that a little bit is okay. Is gambling really that bad? Back in the day, maybe, but just betting on some sports — how bad can that be? That's the idea of a shubuha. It is a sin, but the underlying nature of that sin is a misunderstanding — whereas a shahwa is a sin as well, but underneath it is actually an uncontrolled appetite. And they get addressed in different ways.

Hope Even in the Darkest Depths

Allah describes this situation like being lost at sea — your heart may have had some degree of a compass, but it got hit by one wave, one sin, another sin, another idea, another doubt, and it feels like you don't even know which way is up anymore. Even to the point where it feels like you are underwater. And that's what's captured next: بَعْضُهَا فَوْقَ بَعْضٍ — waves upon waves, darkness upon darkness.

And then Allah says: إِذَا أَخْرَجَ يَدَهُ — and if he was to put his arm out. Think about someone being battered at sea. You're trying to grab onto something — maybe there's a boat, maybe there's a person, maybe there's something. He's doing that. لَمْ يَكَدْ يَرَاهَا — he can barely see it. Why can he barely see it? Because the effects of sins also take place in your sense of perception. The first sin — oh, that really hurt. The second sin — a little bit easier to do. The third sin — a little bit easier. So your own perception starts decreasing. But if someone went far enough, if you're in darkness for long enough, you shouldn't be able to see your arm at all.

But Allah doesn't say that. I've had the opportunity of going scuba diving at night. We were about 20 feet under the water, and something interesting about how light works in water: the deeper you go, the darker it becomes, because the light keeps bending. When you get to a certain depth, if you have no light of your own, you can't see anything. Our senior researcher told all of us to turn off our lights. We had lights on our wrists, and we turned them all off — it is the scariest experience you'll ever go through. Because you don't know where up and down is anymore. It is gone. But Allah doesn't say he can't see his hands. Allah says he can barely see his hands. Why? Because Allah never leaves us without hope.

No matter how lost you find yourself, the lifeline still exists for you. If you reach out your hand and reach towards Allah, even if you can barely see it, you'll still be able to make it — if you make that next step. That's the idea: even though there are barriers that veil the heart, the heart is never without hope, because Allah put within our hearts its own light. It's not just light that comes from the outside — it's actually a light that comes from the inside as well.

Sometimes what happens — maybe in that darkest moment — is when suddenly you hear a reminder about Allah, about who the Messenger ﷺ is, and it increases. Suddenly you start seeing your hand a little bit: I'm actually capable of good. That starts to take place. Because that's part of our tradition as well. Our tradition never leaves someone hopeless, because that's not the heart that Allah created you and me with. It was this beautiful creation of Allah — and no matter how corrupted it becomes, the door to Allah is always open.

And the one whom Allah has not granted light — there is no light for that person. Because it is by the permission of Allah. You don't have to rely on your own strength to make it up above that sea that you're drowning under. You actually have to call on Allah: Ya Allah, just show me the light in this moment.

Addressing the Root Causes

Knowledge as a Remedy for Shubuhaat

Going back to the idea of shubuhaat and shahawat — what are these things that can cloud you? One is: for shubuhat, you need knowledge, because your heart doesn't have the knowledge in order to navigate the sin in front of it. And that happens to people from time to time, where what's at the bottom of it is an actual doubt. Sometimes the origin of a sin is a condition of the heart, and sometimes the sin leads to the condition of the heart — but they are both connected to each other.

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, used to say that the spoon to the dish is like the heart to the tongue. Sometimes you can diagnose yourself and ask: how am I speaking about Allah? Can I confidently say I understand this and explain it to someone else? Maybe that's the origin of why that sin is affecting me so much — that I don't actually have the language to say, no, I actually believe that doing the halal leads to a better lifestyle, and doing the haram leads to a worse lifestyle. I don't have the knowledge to actually undo that. Sometimes that knowledge is necessary.

Discipline as a Remedy for Shahawat

Other times it is: I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't have the discipline. I know I'm supposed to be obeying Allah, staying away from lust, staying away from gluttony, staying away from greed — but I don't have the discipline. How do I address that? Sometimes through strict discipline, which means you pursue the opposite of whatever is actually haunting you in that moment. The one who is seeking fame — what are you supposed to do? Pursue humility. And you'll find that you will actually realize who you were supposed to be pursuing attention from in the first place: it was Allah. The one who feels like they don't have enough — what do they do? Actually give.

There's a man who comes up to the Messenger ﷺ and says that his heart is hard. And the Messenger ﷺ tells him: go pet the head of an orphan. What does that do? Who actually pets the head of an orphan? Who gives comfort to an orphan? The most kind-hearted person. Do that. If you do that with your body, your mind will catch up. Your heart will catch up. Because only the most kind person would do that. Put yourself in that environment and you'll find it actually fixes you.

A shubuha is different from a shahwa, and we need to be able to understand and appreciate the difference. And sometimes what it even comes down to is: explore why it is that you fell into that sin to begin with. My background is in cognitive behavioral therapy, and one of the things I can tell you is people don't do something consistently except that it's meeting one of their needs. It might not be meeting it in the best way, but if they keep returning to it, it's meeting one of their needs.

So sometimes to actually address an issue of the heart, you have to ask yourself: why did I fall into this? Why does it keep happening? If someone keeps looking at things they're not supposed to be looking at, you have to ask: what am I looking for? Is it because I'm bored? Is it because there's no excitement in my life? Do I never appreciate actual beauty, so I'm looking for a perverted substitute? If someone keeps stealing, you ask: do I feel like I don't have enough? Do I not think that hard work can actually be rewarded? Do I not recognize that Allah loves the kasib — the one who acquires through lawful means?

You look at the origin of what actually caused you to fall into it and you address that issue. Because at the bottom of it is typically this: Allah created me as a person who has the ability to succeed. So I have to have hope in myself — Allah didn't create my heart to be just here and there. There was an internal compass built in. I just have to revive it.

The Story of the Fasting Thief: Leaving One Door Open

Sometimes what it looks like is a cognitive reframing, and other times — as some of the other speakers are going to get into — if Allah left one door open for you, can you use that one door and expand it? There is a beautiful story found within our tradition. There was a man who was traveling and he was stopped by a highway robber. As he was stopped and all of their belongings were being stolen — food and everything — this young man followed all of the stolen goods as the thieves distributed them amongst themselves. They came across some exquisite, very valuable drink, and they were passing it all around. Eventually it made its way to the leader of the thieves. And as it made its way to the leader, that person looked at it and put it to the side.

This young man — who had just been robbed — goes up to the leader of the thieves and asks: why is it that you didn't drink or partake like everyone else? And the thief says: I'm fasting. The leader of the thieves says: I'm fasting today. And the young man says: you're fasting? You just stole from all of us — and you're fasting? He says: I left one door open. I don't want to close all the doors between me and Allah.

Fast forward almost a decade, and this young man becomes a scholar of our tradition. And he's making Hajj. And he sees a man profusely crying in front of the Ka'bah, holding on to the kiswah, making beautiful du'as. And he recognizes him: it's the thief — the man who robbed him so many years ago. He goes up to him: how are you here now, making Hajj in front of the Ka'bah? And he says: remember I didn't close the door of fasting. I left one door open. And Allah allowed that door to bring me here.

There Is Always Hope

There are barriers of the heart. There are sins we can fall into. These things happen. But what did Allah say about it? That even when you're in the middle of that ocean drowning, reach out your hand and you'll be able to just see it. Because even then, repenting will polish that heart. Even then, reaching out for good company will clear the way just a little bit. Even then, there is hope. And if you continuously ask Allah to grant you light, the light of Allah can never be extinguished.

Because that's part of the reason why our hearts are here. In this very surah — Surah an-Nur — Allah describes Himself as the light of the heavens and the earth, and then describes the state of that lamp that is lit — which is actually our hearts. It can actually shine and shine through whatever darkness you might find yourselves in.

But the last thing I'll leave you with is: don't be afraid of diagnosing your heart. Sometimes we think: no, it's done, I'm gone. The environment is too bad, this has happened, that has happened. Start with that one dot. It started with one dot — it can be fixed with one dot. Because the hadith we opened with tells us: when the servant stops doing that one sin, that part doesn't just go back to normal. It becomes polished. It becomes purer than it was before. So start with that one thing. Make that one opening. You have a bunch of veils on top — address one veil. Because it will open the door for another veil, and another veil, and another veil, until inshallah you have a heart that is healthy.

Closing Du'a

We end with the du'a of the Messenger ﷺ — one of the most common du'as that he would make:

Oh Turner of the hearts, fasten my heart upon Your way.

Jazakallahu khairan. Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.