2014-10-17 - Friday Prayer - Imam Nadeem Bashir

The Guidance of the Quran and Sunnah

Respected brothers and sisters, Allah, in order to guide mankind, we see in the Quran that He sent prophet after prophet. He would send one prophet who would come, guide, teach, and educate people. And when people would deviate from that teaching, again Allah would send another prophet.

This process continued to go on until it came to an end when Allah sent his most beloved person, Muhammad Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم came, he taught us the Quran. And this was a fulfillment of the du'a of Ibrahim عليه السلام when he made du'a and said:

This was a supplication of Ibrahim عليه السلام asking Allah to send a prophet. Allah answered that du'a and that supplication and He sent Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. And it is truly a mercy of Allah, a blessing of Allah, that He has created us within the ummah of Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. It is not time right now to get into the details of how this ummah is superior to all the previous ummahs. But this ummah — it is the greatest ummah in the eyes of Allah.

In order for mankind to stay on the right path, there are two things the Prophet عليه السلام left behind with us. He says:

(Muwatta Imam Malik, Book 46, Hadith 3)

That I am leaving behind with you two things — that if you were to closely adhere to the teachings of these two sources, there is no possible way that you will deviate. There is no way that you will be misguided. I leave behind you the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet عليه السلام.

This idea has been highlighted throughout the entire Quran and also in the prophetic traditions. In the Quran, Allah says again and again that whoever obeys Allah and Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, he will truly attain success. In Surah Al-Ahzab, Allah says:

Surely in the life of the Prophet you will find the best example. So these are the two things that we need to use in order to stay on the right track.

Today when we talk about the disunity, the chaos within this ummah, it is because we have drifted away from the teachings of the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Even though we may assume that there are some external matters that can help our ummah progress, but really what it comes down to is that if we leave the Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, there is no way as an ummah we can progress.

The Prophetic Model of Communication

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, while he taught us about Iman, he taught us about Salat, Zakat, Hajj, fasting in the month of Ramadan, and he taught us so much more. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also taught us about the importance of family. He taught us about how to get along in a family. And he taught us something that we should exhibit — a character that we should really exhibit, and a habit that we should truly adhere to — and that is communication.

Communication is something that when we all go to work, we are told about. Our companies emphasize, our jobs emphasize upon the importance of communication. They organize workshops and seminars to teach employees how do you communicate with other people. For if we don't have the skills of communication — and when I say skills of communication, I mean effective and efficient skills of communication — how are we supposed to interact with other people? We as human beings interact with everyone every single day. Whether it's our children, whether it's our wife, our husband, people in the community, people at work, we're always around people. And if I don't have the skills of communication, how am I supposed to express my concern? How am I supposed to express what I feel to the next person?

You can ask any high school student who is attending the final two years of their high school, where they're going to high school and also attending college, and it is a prerequisite to graduate that they have to take either a speech or communication class. And subhanAllah, when you study about communication and the principles of communication, this is not something new — but each one of those principles of communication and leadership is found within the life of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم.

Once again, the Prophet did not just teach us about religion. He taught us about communication. He taught us about leadership. He taught us how to resolve conflicts within your own community. He taught us how to resolve conflicts within your own family. And that's why over and over again we are told: study the life of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم and you will find an immense amount of information. You will find skills in his life which you can apply in your day-to-day life.

Communication is so important, even on a family level. We have to be efficient within our communication. In most families, we assume that because she is my wife, he is my husband, these are my children, I understand them fully. So many times the wife will say one thing and the husband totally misfires. He doesn't understand exactly what his wife said. He will misunderstand her. The same thing with the wife. Between parents and children — children will say something that the parents become extremely upset about. On the other hand, the parents will say something that the children will not understand. This happens on a family level. We should take time and communicate more within our families so that we can create a better level of understanding.

This happens within our families and even on an organizational level. A lot of us may be associated with Islamic organizations. And when we work in Islamic organizations, you have to deal with people who you may not know — random people, people who have different demeanors, different attitudes, behaviors, ways of thinking, philosophies, and ideas. And the only way we can work with one another is when we communicate.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was so successful in his mission because he learned how to communicate with the Sahaba. You have Sahaba who came from Mecca — they had a different type of attitude. He communicated well with the Ansar. He had everyone together. You have people like Suhaib ar-Rumi, Bilal al-Habashi رضي الله عنهم — Sahaba from various and different places. And the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was able to create a family that was united. Everyone was on task. Everyone was working towards the same goal. Why? Because the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was very transparent in his communication.

Examples of Communication in the Quran

In the Quran, Allah talks about Luqman عليه السلام. He talks about the story of Luqman and how he advised his son — once again, communicating, father and son communicating. This was so beloved to Allah that He made this part of the final revelation. Until the Day of Judgment, we recite the story of Luqman in the Quran.

Ibrahim عليه السلام — he goes to his father and he explains to him, as highlighted in Surah Maryam, that he is telling his father: what exactly are you worshipping? What you are worshipping cannot benefit, it cannot harm. He is trying to convey this message. Once again — communication. He is communicating this idea to his father, even though his father may not be a Muslim.

But this also teaches us many lessons. That when we communicate with others, we should be extremely respectful and we should honor whoever we are talking to. Ibrahim عليه السلام was very respectful to his father, even though he was a non-Muslim. He could see that what they were believing in — these idols that they are worshipping — it cannot benefit, it cannot harm, there is no use to it. But when he goes to his father and communicates this, he is respectful. This was so beloved to Allah that He made this part of the final revelation.

Two Principles of Communication from the Prophetic Tradition

Out of all the principles of communication — there are many — today I just want to share with you two things. I want you to take this home and apply it today, whether you are working on an organizational level or whether you are a family man. Each one of us is a family member. And this does not only apply to parents and children — even among siblings, because sibling rivalry is a reality. We see this from the story of Yusuf عليه السلام. Sibling rivalry is a reality.

Principle One: Openness and Transparency in Communication

The first of the two things is openness in communication. There should be transparency. There should be a channel where I can communicate my feelings to the other.

Yusuf عليه السلام comes to his father and tells him: I see a dream. Not a single time did his father doubt him. Not a single time did his father say, "You know what, it was just a dream, just let it go, just go away, don't bother me." He welcomed that. When Yusuf عليه السلام came to him and communicated this dream, he took that in. Once again, we learn that a child was so open with his father that he could go and communicate this with him.

In our situation, I get phone calls from youth. They want to convey something to their parents, but they are extremely scared about it. How will my father react? How will my mother react? How will people in the community talk about it? I don't want to talk about this. The channels of communication are not open.

After the Battle of Hunayn — you can refer to Surah Tawbah (Surah Bara'ah) for the Quranic reference to this battle — when the spoils of war were collected and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم began to distribute them, he gave more to the Quraysh than he gave to the Ansar. The Ansar were really upset and began to talk amongst themselves. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم found out about it.

The Ansar came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم — once again, openness. They knew that if there is something that is concerning them, something that is bothering them, they have the ability to go to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and express their concern. They came to him and said: it looks like you are giving more to your people than you are giving to the Ansar. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم began to explain to them: weren't you astray? Weren't you misguided? And Allah guided you through me. And they said yes.

And like this the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم began to communicate with them. At the end, he told the Ansar: these people who I gave the spoils of war to — the Quraysh — even though their animals and their camels are fully loaded and they are going back to Mecca happy, the reason I gave them is because their faith is comparable to materialistic goods and gains. Whereas your faith is based on solid conviction. I don't have to give you anything so that you will remain on Iman and be steadfast upon Islam. These people right now — their Iman is not at that level. That's why I gave them more.

Further, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم explained to the Ansar his closeness to them. He told the Ansar: they are going home with loaded goods, but you are going back home with none other than Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. He told the Ansar: if people were to go one way and the Ansar were to go another way, I will take the path of the Ansar.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم established an open channel of communication. This is something that we need to create within our families.

I can guarantee — long time ago there was a course that I took which has only been developed for clergy members. It is a marital counseling kind of program, and you can also use it for premarital advice. When people call me and say they want to get married, I usually recommend that they go through it. It is a long questionnaire process, and I get the results. And whenever I get the results for two people who are about to get married, I can guarantee you that 99.9% of the time the weakness that exists within them is that there is no open communication. If there is something that is bothering you, there should be a way that you can convey that to your spouse. The longer you keep it within your heart, bottled up inside of you, the more Satan will bring up ideas and mess with your mind. He will mess with your heart. He will create doubts and suspicions within your heart.

If there are two people within an organization on the same team — let's say there is a project — and something is bothering you, you should have the ability to go and talk to the other person. The longer we sit with that idea bottled up, Satan will always attack us.

Ibrahim عليه السلام comes to his son and says: I see in my dream that I am sacrificing you. Communicating. It was that openness that exists within families.

So this is the first thing that we learn from the life of Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: within our families and within our organizations, if we are affiliated with any kind of project, there should be open channels of communication. And no one should feel obligated to sit with their negative feelings and just live with that. Rather, we should communicate that to the other.

Principle Two: Better Understanding — Putting Yourself in Their Shoes

The next thing that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had, which was amazing, is that not only was there open communication, but there was also better understanding. What I mean by that is: if someone is communicating to us, the first thing is that we should try to put ourselves in their shoes — without jumping to conclusions, without being judgmental.

If someone comes to us and complains about our work ethic, without jumping to a conclusion and criticizing that person, ask yourself: am I really weak in that area, or does this person have a legitimate point when making this complaint?

The time when that youngster came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: O Prophet of Allah, permit me to commit zina — the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم never got upset. He put himself in that youngster's shoes. He put himself in his position and understood where exactly that youngster was coming from. He is young, he has desires, he is full of lust. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, instead of telling him how much zina is haram, began to explain to him: would you like anyone to do this to any female members of your family? And when he understood what exactly the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was trying to say, he himself backed off. He understood. Once again, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم created a better environment of understanding one another.

Also we see this in other stories. There was a woman — and this is a hadith generally mentioned in the chapters of Sabr and Patience in the books of hadith — a woman is crying next to the grave of her son who had just passed away. She is extremely emotional. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم comes and says: be patient. And how did she reply to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم? She said: you don't understand what exactly I am going through. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم — having only first advised — when she said that, he took a step back. He backed off. He went back home.

This woman later on was told that her methodology of response was incorrect and inappropriate, and that she should go back and apologize to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. She went, she saw the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, she apologized, and said: I did not recognize your status, I did not recognize you. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 1283; Sahih Muslim, Book 11, Hadith 2179)

That sabr is to be exercised at the very first moment — in the very beginning when the challenge does approach a person. But we learn from this once again that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم understood where that person was coming from.

In our case, when people are talking and communicating with us, we don't observe active listening. We don't understand where exactly that person is coming from. Part of communication is to keep our emotions in check — not to become excited when we communicate. Two people sit down, there is a conflict amongst them, they sit down to resolve their conflicts. What happens is that because they are not able to create a balance within their emotions, instead of that communication being a guide and a source of resolving their conflicts, it eventually becomes a battle of egos. One raises their voice, the other one raises their voice, they bring up the past, and after a while you will see that it is no longer a healthy dialogue — rather it has become a battle of egos and misunderstandings.

So this is why we need to truly understand what communicating is. What prophetic communication is. And slowly and gradually we need to exhibit this within our families.

Communication Is a Work in Progress

Parents come to me and tell me: communicating is important, we do communicate with our children. Or children will say: we try to communicate with our parents but it does not work. What am I supposed to do? My advice about this matter is: just because you have communicated your feelings once to your children or to your parents, it doesn't mean that they will understand. It is a work in progress. You have to communicate every single day. People who are communicating should try to understand the other on a better level. Try to create a sense of compromise. If there is something that you are stuck on, try to create a better understanding or try to create some compromise so that we can come to a decision. But we have to work on this over and over again.

Just because you communicate one time doesn't mean you know them. People come together, they don't know each other, they communicate once, it is a disaster, they don't want to work with each other. It doesn't work like that. Husband and wife — even though you may be married for 5, 10, 15 years — there are times when one will say something and the other will totally misunderstand. It is a work in progress. Do not give up.

Summary and Closing Advice

Just to recap — the three things I shared with you regarding communication:

Number one: There should be openness within the family when it comes to communication, just as we see from the life of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.

Number two: When people are communicating, there should be a better level of understanding. Try to understand where the other person is coming from. Put yourself in their shoes. And also try to find out what their past history is, because a lot of times the way they think and the way they are communicating is highly impacted by their past experiences. Because we don't know their past experiences, we jump to conclusions. Try to create a better understanding.

Number three: When people are communicating, we should try to keep our emotions in check. Try to create emotional balance so that we can communicate more healthily amongst ourselves.

These are just a few things I can share with you. But honestly, if you study the life of the Prophet, there are numerous books you will find online and in different places that talk about prophetic communication. Try to buy those books, study those books, read those books, implement them, and exhibit the character of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم.

And I can guarantee you — as I said at the very beginning of the khutbah — if we adhere to the Sunnah of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, we will have more families that are more connected and unified. Right now in our community, unfortunately, we have families that may seem connected and unified externally, but internally they are disconnected. We need to bring our families together. There should be a better understanding between parents and children, children and parents, between family members, between people who are volunteering in organizations.

May Allah give us all the ability to act upon what has been said and what has been heard.