EPIC Masjid, Imam Nadeem Bashir, Influence of friends/company.

Gratitude for Allah's Blessings

First of all, we thank Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for everything He has given us. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given us so many blessings that Allah says in the Qur'an:

If you were to try to count the blessings of Allah, Allah says, you will not be able to. In another ayah, Allah says:

That all the trees in this world would turn into pens, and all the water of the ocean would turn into ink, and we try to write the kalimat, the words of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala — Allah says, you will not be able to. Allah has given us so much.

The greatest ni'mah Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given us is the blessing and the wealth of the kalimah:

And He has also made us within the greatest ummah ever to come on the face of this earth, which is the ummah of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. We always read in the Qur'an — this is something that we should always keep in mind and we should always constantly make this du'a:

That we should always constantly make du'a to Allah and thank Allah and glorify Allah for the hidayah that He has given us.

The Purpose of Human Companionship

Respected brothers and sisters, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created all of us. From the very first person to step on the face of this earth, Adam alayhi salam, to the last person to come on the face of this earth, every person has been created by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. While Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has also created this person, Allah has created everything that surrounds a person — that will help and aid a person to function in life.

There was a famous tabi'i by the name of Uwais al-Qarni, rahmatullahi alayhi, he used to say:

That this dunya — everything that you see around you — has been created to serve you, has been created to serve the human being, so that the human being can function in this life correctly. But you, the human being, have not been created for this dunya; you have been created for the life hereafter. Because that is what our final abode will be. That is what our final destination is. And that is where we are going right now.

When we travel from one place to another, if I were to travel from here to the United Kingdom and I stop in New York City, then that is just one brief stop, but the final destination is London. In the same exact way, understand this: our destination is the hereafter. We came from the womb of our mothers — this is just a transit stop. This is just a brief stop. It may be 60–70 years for some people; for some people it may be less than that also.

But going back to what I said earlier, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created everything around us to serve the human being. And while Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created all of this, He has talked about this in the Qur'an, and He has told us that this is very important for you. Everything that you see around you has a purpose. The oxygen that we inhale and exhale — there's a purpose behind that also. The sun that Allah has created, the moon that Allah has created — everything has a purpose.

And then at the same time, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has also created different people around us. Why? Because a human cannot function by himself or herself. They need people around them. And subhanAllah, you will see that because this concept of working with other people — that you have to be around other people — this is so important that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala again and again in the Qur'an talks about how you conduct yourself in a society. When you are surrounded by people, when you have relatives, when you have family members, when you have people in your community or at the masjid — how do you conduct yourself? How do you treat others? We see surahs like Surah Al-Hujurat — it all talks about how you socialize with one another. In Surah An-Nur, how do you conduct yourself in your home? It is all mentioned in the Qur'an.

But at the same time, keeping in mind: in companionship, in people around us, it is so important — because taking companionship away from the human being, disconnecting a person from anyone else, this is a source of punishment in this life. You see that people who have committed a felony or a crime — in many cases the punishment may be solitary confinement. What exactly is solitary confinement? Disconnecting one person from the entire world. That today is considered a source of punishment. When our child is misbehaving, what do we do? We give them a time out. We put them in a corner. We disconnect them from everyone else. That is considered a source of consequences, a source of punishment.

So for one person to disconnect themselves from everyone around them — this is not a way a human being can function. If you see people who have psychological issues, you will see that one of the key reasons why they have psychological issues is because they have no family, they have no friends, they have completely isolated themselves from the entire community. They have no one to talk to. And when a person has no one to talk to and has no companionship, then this affects the person's mind.

The Story of 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt

So the reason I mention this is because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks about this in the Qur'an — that while it is so important that you deal with one another and associate yourself with one another and build friendships and relationships in this world, there is a way to do that also. And so Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in the Qur'an talks about a person during the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who had disrespected the Prophet of Allah. His name was 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt. And what happened was that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says:

'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt was one of the chiefs of the Quraysh. It was a customary practice amongst the Arabs at that time that when any chief or noble man from his community would travel and return back to town, they would invite everyone for dinner at their home. So, as it was a customary practice, this is what he did — he invited everyone at his home.

At the same time, it was a common practice amongst the Arabs — and this is something that does exist till today in many other cultures — that they always look after their guests and whatever the guest asked for, there were no questions; they would do exactly what the guest asked. They had elevated the position of the guest to that level. So not only did he invite all the other chiefs and noble men of the Quraysh, but he also invited the best person: Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

When he came to the Prophet and presented food before him, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt: "I cannot take your food." He asked, "Why can you not take my food?" And he said: "I will only take your food once you recite the shahada and you accept Islam. That is the only condition." Because it was the concern of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he wanted every single person to accept Islam. It was always in his mind, always in his heart — how can this person accept Islam and how can that person accept Islam? It was a constant worry and concern of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

So the Prophet thought: you know what, this is the ideal time. I can try to ask him to accept Islam and he may do so. And he did. When the Prophet said that he would not accept the food until he took the shahada, he did take the shahada. He did say:

And he did become a Muslim — simply because a guest had made a request, and he could not refuse his guest.

Now the following day, of course his other friends amongst the Quraysh — the kuffar — came to him. One of them was Umayyah ibn Khalaf. So Umayyah ibn Khalaf comes to him and says: "O 'Uqbah, it has come to my knowledge that you accepted Islam. Is that true?" And he says: "Absolutely, I did accept Islam." And he says: "Why did you accept Islam? Why?" And he says: "The Prophet came to my home and he was not eating until I did not take the shahada. What am I supposed to do? I have to take care of my guest. If the guest asks me to do something, I will do it."

So Umayyah ibn Khalaf says to him: "You are a coward. You don't have the willpower. You don't have the ability to say no." And he says: "I want you right now to go to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and disrespect the Prophet and say that you have denounced Islam."

So what 'Uqbah does is — he does exactly as he is told. He goes to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. The books of tafsir mention that he spit upon the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and said: "You know what, I have given up Islam. I have given up Islam."

At that time, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala revealed these ayat of Surah Al-Furqan. He says: remember the day —

Understanding the Ayah

Even though this verse was revealed related to 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt, the ruling is universal. This applies universally to everyone and every single Muslim. Remember the day when the oppressor and the wrongdoer — the zalim — will be chewing on his hand on the Day of Judgment. And what will he say?

يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا — "I wish I had taken the path of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam." And then: يَا وَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا.

The word لَيْتَ means that you are wishing for something. The difference between لَعَلَّ and لَيْتَ in the Qur'an is that لَعَلَّ is something that you are hoping for which is possible, while لَيْتَ is that you are wishing for something that is completely impossible — it cannot happen at all. And so here Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says that this person, on the Day of Judgment, will say: "I wish I had not taken that particular person as my friend."

The word خَلِيل in the Arabic language means a person whose instructions you follow without even questioning. Ibrahim alayhi salam was called the khalil of Allah. Why? Because when Allah would say anything to Prophet Ibrahim alayhi salam, he would do it without questioning or even doubting the words of Allah. Allah challenged Ibrahim alayhi salam so many different times throughout his life, and not a single time did he doubt Allah. Not a single time did he question Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That is what you call a khalil.

So here Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says: لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا — "I wish I had not taken that person as my friend." Because 'Uqbah, without even trying to understand the logic or reason behind what Umayyah ibn Khalaf was telling him, simply did as his friend told him to do.

And then this person on the Day of Judgment will say: لَقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي — that this person misguided me after dhikr, after guidance and hidayah had come to me, I still chose to go on the wrong path.

And let me tell you something else about this ayah. It says: remember the day when the person will be chewing on his hand. When you see a person chewing on their hand, this person is mentally not stable. When you see a person who has just received some shocking news, you see that you can wave a hand in front of them and they will not even realize it. They are in such shock. Here Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is saying that the highest level of shock is that you are biting on your hand and you are not even realizing you are biting on your hand. This will be the state of those people on the Day of Judgment — that when they see the punishment of Allah, when they see the fire of Jahannam, when they see the consequences of their actions, they will lose focus. They cannot think about anything else. And as a result, they will be chewing on their hand.

The Sign of a Good Friend

So the question is: how does this ayah relate to us? The way this ayah relates to us is that there comes a time in our life that we associate ourselves with different people. We may associate ourselves with some people due to cultural reasons. We may associate ourselves with someone because I need something from them. Or we may associate ourselves with someone simply because we have self-esteem issues. This is where a lot of youngsters get caught up — that they don't consider: who am I keeping as friends? Is this friend of mine a good friend or a bad friend? Is this a friend who will bring me closer to Allah? Or is this a friend who will push me away from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?

Al-Qurtubi rahmatullahi alayhi in his tafsir mentions that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said — what is the sign of a good friend? The sign of a good friend is that when you see him, he reminds you of Allah. When he talks and when he speaks, it increases your knowledge. When you sit with him, it increases your iman. And when you see his actions, it reminds you of the Akhirah.

(Referenced in the tafsir of Al-Qurtubi under Quran 25:27–29)

So this is something that we need to put our friends next to. Does this friend of mine — I don't care who he is, he may even be a Muslim — does he remind me of the Akhirah? Does this person increase my iman? Does sitting with him increase my knowledge? If the answer is no, then we need to disconnect ourselves from these kinds of people.

The Danger of Evil Company

We see in the Qur'an that Allah tells us there are people who you stay connected with, and there are some people that you have to disconnect yourself from. The very first thing that many people say is: "When a person goes into the wrong company, it's not going to have an effect on me." A person cannot go into evil company — have friends that will create doubt in his iman and take him far away from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala — and say that they are not going to have an effect on me. That is not true. They will most certainly have an effect on you.

We also learn from a hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about the people of Bani Isra'il — that what they did was they would go and associate themselves with people who were disobeying Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, people who broke the commandments of Allah, who had no Shari'ah in their life, no religion, no concept of Allah in their life. And what the hadith mentions is that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala eventually merged both of their hearts together — meaning the same evil actions that these people were committing had an effect on the ones who were initially good people.

I had a youngster one time come to me. He said to me that he had a friend — a Muslim — with a drinking problem and a gambling problem. And in the beginning he said: "I'm not going to do what he is doing." But alhamdulillah, Allah protected this youngster. Because this youngster realized that the more he would associate himself with that person, his iman was being corrupted. He even began to think to himself: "If you can make so much money from gambling, let me just do it once." This thought came to his mind — and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave him the proper understanding and he broke off that friendship.

There are so many cases within our own communities where there are good Muslim kids that come from good families — families where the mother and father are connected with the masjid, they teach their child what is right and what is wrong, they take them to programs. But what happens is that they fall into the hands of two or three other youngsters who — may Allah forgive them, may Allah give them hidayah — are involved in drugs, involved in clubbing, involved in gambling, they drink, they commit zina. And what happens is that in just a short period of time, this same youngster is now doing the same thing. I have seen it with my own eyes, respected brothers and sisters.

A Responsibility for Parents

Always keep in mind as parents: we need to keep an eye on our children. Who are our children associating themselves with? Who are their friends? Today, in this time and age, it is so easy for any youngster to become misguided and to be deceived. It is absolutely so easy. And we have all these social networks that help a person to be misguided — Facebook, Twitter — you name it. There are so many social networks where a person has a different kind of personality, and they are friends with people they are not supposed to be friends with.

So respected brothers and sisters, sit down and analyze the life of your child. If there is a difference in the life of your child, if there is something that your child is doing wrong, or there is a change in their personality, or in their behavior, or in their demeanor, then we need to sit down and see: who are they associating themselves with? The people who they hang out with — are they good friends or are they bad friends?

I have heard parents saying: "This child may be corrupt, but this child is street smart. I want my child to hang out with this child so he can learn that street smartness." But what happens is that that same child, instead of learning anything, is affected by the evil of this other youngster. Do not take this lightly. When our kids become corrupted, it hurts. Wallahi, when I see this kind of situation, it really hurts. That you see good kids, with potential, with talent — kids that could give back to their community — but they get involved in the wrong company and now they are completely wasted.

Conclusion

So that is why it is so important that we understand: who am I associating myself with? My friends — who are they? Always ask yourself: who do I associate myself with? Is it those people who remind you of Allah, or is it people who will take you away from Allah? If the answer is that they will take you away from Allah, you disconnect yourself immediately from these kinds of people. And if there are people who will remind you of Allah, who will take you to the masjid, who will get you involved in community activities — then these are the people who you associate yourselves with. May Allah give us the ability to act on what has been said and heard.