Friction Not Fraction

Opening — Khutbah al-Hajah

All praise is due to Allah, and his praise and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, his family, his companions and his followers until the Day of Judgement. I bear witness that Allah is the only one worthy of worship and Muhammad ﷺ is his last and final messenger.

The Two Greatest Companions

He said about these two individuals that they are for me like my ears and eyes. They are the best two people ever to have walked the face of this earth after the prophets and the messengers. These two individuals — the closest to the Prophet ﷺ and the most noble of all companions and all the ummah of Muhammad ﷺ — they have a very high status in Islam.

The amount of virtues they have displayed in their life and the amount of praise that they received from Allah and his messenger ﷺ is unmatched. Their virtues and their closeness to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ is something that cannot be imagined unless you study the biography of the Prophet ﷺ.

Friction Between Abu Bakr and Umar

Even though Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه is known to be gentle and calm, sometimes he can be a little bit aggressive and come across very strong. So one day Abu Bakr and Umar رضي الله عنهما were talking to each other back and forth, they disagreed over something, and the discussion got heated up. Abu Bakr became a little bit aggressive with Umar — he kind of crossed the line.

There was friction happening between them. Quickly, Abu Bakr realized that he had lost control. Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه said: "I think I have crossed the line. Please forgive me." Umar رضي الله عنه turned his back and started walking to his house. Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه was behind him saying "please" — and Umar did not respond — "please forgive me" — and he kept going until he went to his house, entered his house, and closed the door.

Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه felt so bad. He was in pain. He couldn't even go back to his own house. How would he go back to his house when he knows that his best friend, one of the closest companions to the Prophet, Umar رضي الله عنه, is upset with him — and he is the one who crossed the line and said something which was not appropriate.

Abu Bakr Goes to the Prophet

Abu Darda رضي الله عنه said: "We were sitting with the Prophet ﷺ." Abu Bakr was walking very fast — you could tell he was very upset — he was holding his garment in his hand and even his knees were showing. That is not how he normally walked. He was walking so fast that he was not even aware that his legs, his knees, were showing. The Prophet ﷺ saw that and said to his companions: "This person is in great distress." Something very upsetting had put Abu Bakr in such a state.

So Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه gave salam to the companions and immediately said: "There is something between me and Abu Bakr..." — he meant between him and Umar — "...and I said things which I should not have said. They came out of my mouth and I regret it. He became upset with me. I asked him to forgive me and he did not answer me. So I came to you." He came to the Prophet ﷺ so that the Prophet ﷺ might mediate — so that Umar رضي الله عنه might accept the apology of Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "He did not forgive you?" He said: "Yes." So what did Umar say? He did not say "I forgive you." You know what he said? "May Allah forgive Abu Bakr. May Allah forgive Abu Bakr. May Allah forgive Abu Bakr." Three times. All of this happening in the masjid, in the gathering of the Prophet ﷺ.

Umar's Change of Heart

But there was a very different scene in Umar's house. Inside his house, that anger that Umar رضي الله عنه had — it calmed down, and it changed completely to regret. "How come I did not accept Abu Bakr's apology? How come that Abu Bakr asked me to forgive him and I did not say yes? How come Abu Bakr left me upset and I did not honor his apology?" A complete 180 degrees.

After Abu Bakr was chasing Umar to ask for forgiveness, now Umar said: "I need to go to Abu Bakr to ask for forgiveness and to apologize." So he went to Abu Bakr's house. "Is Abu Bakr here?" They said no. "Where is he?" They said he might be at the Prophet's masjid. And Umar رضي الله عنه went to the masjid and he saw the Prophet ﷺ, and Abu Bakr, and the Sahaba there.

The Prophet's Displeasure with Umar

He sat down — Umar — and did not say anything. As if he wanted to solve it between himself and Abu Bakr alone. No need to open the matter in front of everybody. But he noticed that the Prophet ﷺ was not happy.

One thing unique about the Prophet ﷺ is that you know how he feels just by looking at his face. He doesn't have a straight face. He doesn't deceive. If he is happy, he is happy — you can tell from his face. If he is not happy, he is not happy. If he is in pain, it shows. You can immediately tell. So they found that the Prophet's ﷺ face had changed — he looked very upset with Umar when Umar came.

And to show how much he was upset with Umar — Umar رضي الله عنه sat on one side, then the Prophet ﷺ turned his face away. Then Umar رضي الله عنه sat right in front of the Prophet ﷺ and said:

"Ya Rasulallah, I see that you turn your face away because you heard something about me. What is good in this life if you are going to turn your face away from me? If you are upset with me, what good is there in this life? If you are not pleased with me."

The Prophet ﷺ said: "You are the one Abu Bakr asked to forgive him and apologize to you, and you said no? You didn't accept it? Your brother is asking you to forgive him and you deny that request?"

Umar said: "Every time, Ya Rasulallah, he said 'please forgive me,' inside my heart I was saying, 'may Allah forgive you.' But I was upset. I didn't say it out loud. Allah is my witness that I don't love anyone in this life after you more than Abu Bakr."

Abu Bakr's Declaration

When the Prophet ﷺ saw his face change and the conversation going in that direction, Abu Bakr could not control his feelings. Abu Bakr moved from his spot, went to the Prophet ﷺ, sat on his knees before him and said: "Ya Rasulallah — me too, I love this man more than anyone else after you, Ya Rasulallah. I was the one who started it. Ya Rasulallah, I am the one who was wrong, not him. Don't be angry at him."

The Prophet's Address to the Companions

Then the conversation turned to the companions — to us, the Ummah. And the Prophet ﷺ said: "Allah has sent me to you. All of you said I was lying. No one said I was a true prophet and messenger from Allah except Abu Bakr. At one point, no one believed me except Abu Bakr. At one point, Abu Bakr was the only one who said, 'Ya Rasulallah, you were sent by Allah' — and none of you did."

"Abu Bakr, at one point, had given his wealth. He was willing to put his life at risk to protect me, to support me. And none of you did."

"Leave my companion alone. Leave my friend alone. Don't bother him. Don't upset him."

The narrator said: No one dared to say anything to Abu Bakr after this. At this point, the Sahaba realized that Abu Bakr's رضي الله عنه status with the Prophet ﷺ — how close he was to the Prophet ﷺ — was at a level beyond what they were thinking. They knew he was very dear, very special. But this was another level entirely.

All this from the Prophet ﷺ because the Prophet ﷺ is faithful. The Prophet ﷺ never forgot — when no one said "Ya Rasulallah, you are the messenger of Allah, you are saying the truth" except Abu Bakr. When the whole world rejected him except Abu Bakr. When he was the first to give his money. The first to put his life at risk. The first to believe in him ﷺ.

Lessons from This Story

This story — I don't want you to forget it as you leave the masjid, because I can't comment on this story fully in this khutbah. I want you to reflect on so many meanings, so many lessons, so many things that might relate to you in your life today. I just want to open your horizon with some points.

Lesson One: Seek Forgiveness When You Have Wronged Someone

Make sure if you have wronged someone that you ask for forgiveness. Make sure if you have done wrong to someone that you don't think it's just going to go away. You have to say it. You have to show it. You have to seek it. It might not be granted to you right away — the acceptance of that apology — but it doesn't mean that you go, "okay, who cares, I tried." No. Abu Bakr tried and tried and tried, and went to the Prophet ﷺ because he knew how much influence he has. That is the attitude you show when you were wrong. When you have hurt someone. When you have wronged someone.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2449)

If you have wronged someone, make sure you go and ask for their forgiveness today — because on the Day of Judgement there is no money. It is good deeds and bad deeds. He takes from your good deeds and gives you from his bad deeds. That is what you should keep in mind.

Lesson Two: It Is Not a Weakness to Apologize

See — Abu Bakr had no problem admitting it in front of everybody. He said, "Ya Rasulallah, I was wrong. I was the one who started it." It is not a shame to apologize. It is not a weakness to apologize. Weak people don't say sorry. Strong people say sorry. Strong people admit their mistakes.

I love how fast they both realized they were wrong. I wish that we learned that. Sometimes I get cases and I am involved in reconciling between family members — not friends, family members — and it has been going on for decades. "I didn't talk to my brother for 20 years." "I didn't talk to my father for 10 years." "I didn't talk to my sister, my aunt, my husband" or whoever. We need to learn to come back quickly. Don't leave things in your heart, because these negative feelings are nothing but poison.

Lesson Three: Accepting an Apology Does Not Validate the Wrong

Forgiving someone does not mean validating what that person has done wrong. Let me say this out loud and clear: accepting somebody's apology does not mean that you have confirmed what they did was correct or okay. No — at all. It is still wrong. It is still a mistake. That is what an apology is — you apologize for something wrong you have done. And you accept the apology of someone who has hurt you, harmed you. That is why accepting an apology is a very high level of manners.

Lesson Four: Even Great People Make Mistakes

Something that really caught my attention — and that is why I started my khutbah by telling you how great these two men were — even great men and women can make mistakes. Things can heat up and they cross the line. They say things, they make poor judgments. Even those people can make mistakes. There is no place for idealism. There is no ideal person or perfect person, perfect group. Abu Bakr and Umar both did wrong — and they admitted it. I wish that we could understand that. We can learn that. We can treat people this way. So we have so much rahmah. Because sometimes our expectations set us up for failure — we expect people to just be perfect. Especially when someone becomes more practicing in their religion. All of a sudden, you expect them to go from a human being to an angel. May Allah forgive us. May Allah give us guidance in our life.

What Good Is Life Without Allah's Pleasure?

My dear brothers and sisters — when Umar said, "Ya Rasulallah, there is no taste for life. What good is there in life if you are angry at me?" — have you ever thought about that? What kind of good life will you have if Allah is angry at you? What good is money that you earn but Allah has cursed you for it? What good is a vacation that you enjoy but Allah is angry at you for what you have been doing in that place? What good is a relationship between a man and a woman that brings nothing but Allah's anger and wrath? What good is a desire that leads to the hellfire? What good is a life that is far away from Allah's blessings and love?

That is something you should think about. Think about the moment you see the Prophet on the Day of Judgement and he is angry at you because you abandoned his sunnah, because you did not support his religion. And think about how you live your life while you are blessed, loved, and appreciated by Allah. That is something to keep in mind as we leave this khutbah.

A Word on Voting and Community Responsibility

Monday, our community is invited to cast their votes. As a non-profit organization, we can't tell you who to vote for or who not to vote for. But I just want to make sure that you go and vote. Use your conscience. Make your best judgment. And in an election, there is no one-size-fits-all — that is a myth. The whole concept of one-size-fits-all is a myth.

Just don't take it as something general. Make sure that you understand — this is not simply an issue of halal and haram. These are matters of ijtihad and opinion. And that diversity is healthy, as long as collectively we have a common goal as a community. We should not deceive ourselves — because our power, our leverage, comes from our unity. You can't ask for leverage that you don't have the power for. That is not making the community feel less about themselves. But placing an expectation that is not realistic can lead to people getting very disappointed.

I think we do have power. I think we do have the ability to make a change — especially in some states more than others. But even here in Houston, even here in Texas, we do have a chance to make sure that our voice is heard. Especially against those who have no care, no regard at all for us as a community, for us as an ummah, for what is hurting us the most.

As people vote and lobby to support, for example, Israeli lobbies — and that has to be a red line that is not to be crossed at a certain level — we as an ummah also have our issues. I cannot accept that the blood of Muslims and of nations being almost wiped out is treated as something cheap, having no value, having no meaning. But be cautious — because there is always a balance that you have to have. Not every candidate, not every person — there will always be a judgment call for each and every case.

I feel your pain as a community. And I think we have every right to express that in our way, in one way or another, when it comes to voting. But my most important message is: just make sure that you go and vote. Just make sure that your name counts. Because it is an accumulating power over the years. May Allah make it easy for all of us.

Du'a — Closing Supplication

Especially for our brothers and sisters in Gaza and those people who are suffering from the transgressions going on against innocent men and women in Palestine and other places — this aggression that we see every day, unfortunately demonstrated against so many innocent people who have done nothing but ask for simple rights: the rights to their own land, the right to be protected, to be free, to be able to travel freely, to be able to breathe, to be able to ask for the simple human rights that any person asks for. May Allah give them victory over those who transgress against them. May Allah bring peace, prosperity, and healing to this part of the world.