The Blessing and Grave Responsibility of Raising Our Children

The Blessing and Responsibility of Children

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ، اَلْحَمْدُ لِلّٰهِ، اَلْحَمْدُ لِلّٰهِ وَكَفٰى وَسَلَامٌ عَلٰى عِبَادِهِ الَّذِيْنَ اصْطَفٰى، أَمَّا بَعْد

My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam, assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Allah, in this world, in this earthly life of ours, has granted us so many blessings. And along with each of these blessings, there are associated responsibilities. The greater the blessing is from Allah, the greater is the associated responsibility. And when we say responsibility, it is a responsibility concerning which we will be asked by Allah on the Day of Judgment.

Allah says:

Then verily on that day, you will be questioned about the blessings of Allah. Latus'alunna — most definitely you will be asked regarding these blessings.

And across the board, universally amongst human beings, it is understood that one of the greatest blessings that we have in this worldly life of ours is the blessing of our children. These are consistently ranked as the greatest blessings of Allah. And this is an innate desire that Allah has placed in our hearts — to have children and to invest in these children, to take care of them, to cherish them, to love them, to have concern for them, to sacrifice for them.

This is something that those who disbelieve in Allah, who do not believe in the Creator, may term as "mother nature" or come up with different terms, or a natural instinct as they term it. But the reality is that this is a gift that Allah has placed in our hearts as fathers and mothers — that He has filled our hearts with the love of our children. And they are such a source of joy for us.

But the reminder for today is that just like these are blessings, they are at the same time a very, very great responsibility. Allah mentions in the Qur'an in Surah At-Tahreem:

O those who believe, save yourselves and your family members — for the husband as the head of the family, including the wife and the children — save yourselves and your family from the fire of Jahannam. This is such a direct call and a warning for us. It also shows us what is at stake.

Doing the tarbiyah of the children is not something which we can do part time, or something optional whenever we feel like it, or a good thing to do if you are able to do it. What is at stake is eternity in Jahannam. And entering into Jahannam should be a sufficient motivation. But if that is not enough, then it is not just Dukhuul al-Jahannam which is at stake — it is Najat min an-Naar, it is salvation from the fire of Jahannam. And salvation from the fire of Jahannam should be a much more significant motivator.

The fuel of this fire is men and stones. There are angels that are appointed to guard it. Their hearts have been specifically created to be hard, without any mercy. They are physically very strong and cannot be overpowered. They do not disobey Allah in the least and they do exactly as they are told. This is the description here in this particular ayah.

The Warning: Failing Our Children

Allah mentions what will be the status of those who fulfill this responsibility — what are their rewards — and at the same time Allah mentions the punishments for those who fail in fulfilling this responsibility. This concept is mentioned through many ayat in the Qur'an and many ahadith of Rasulullah ﷺ.

For the purposes of our brief reminder, if we take one example of an ayah that indicates the punishment for those who fail: Allah mentions in Surah Al-Ahzab towards the end — when those who disobeyed Allah, those who did not fulfill the rights of Allah, are being dragged to Jahannam. They will be calling out, lamenting on the day of regret, and they will say:

O destruction upon us! We wish we had obeyed Allah and we wish we had obeyed the Rasul of Allah. It is too late now. Then they will say: We listened to our elders and our leaders. And the scholars of Tafsir mention here that among the many elders who influence children as they are growing up, there is no doubt that the greatest influence is that of the parents themselves, followed by other teachers and other mentors. No one has a greater impact on the children than the parents.

But this warning in this ayah is not limited to parents for failing in their duty. It also extends to teachers, extends to mentors, extends to those who are the leaders of the community, who are setting the agenda of the Muslim community. Because the word is general, inclusive of all. We follow our leaders and our elders. And what did our leaders do? What did our elders do? Fa-adallunas sabila — they let us go astray. They did not inculcate within us the correct aqeedah, the correct akhlaq, tarbiyah. They failed in this duty, this responsibility.

To lead astray, you don't have to make any active effort with the children, with the young generation, with the community. You don't have to come up with plans of misguiding people or teaching them the wrong things. No effort is required. Because there is already a tremendous effort being done actively and intentionally — by forces of evil, by those who have drawn out plans of corruption of the ummah, and those who are just fulfilling their desires with no such plans. The environment itself. Those who are out there to market their haram things for their own profit may not necessarily be out to corrupt people, and then there are those who actually have evil intentions. There is a whole spectrum of evil influences out there — beyond sufficient, in fact overwhelming.

So adallunas sabila — they let us go astray — does not mean these parents, these teachers, these elders hatched plans of deceiving and teaching wrong ideologies. Just slacking off in the correct tarbiyah is sufficient for destruction. If there is even a little relaxation in the level of vigilance required to guide children on the straight path, it is sufficient for our children — and for ourselves — to lose salvation altogether.

In fact, being absolutely as humanly possible vigilant, making dua — at many times that may not even be sufficient. So what about if there is any relaxation in fulfilling this important responsibility?

Then, as they are being dragged to the fire of Jahannam — khalideena feeha abada, where they will be burning forever — they will make this last dua. And this is not a dua asking for mercy and rahma. As it is known in Urdu, it is a bad dua, a curse. They will be saying: O Allah, whatever punishment you are giving us is destined for us. We now realize there is no way to escape. So we are not even asking that — we have resigned to our fate. But what we do ask you is: these parents, teachers, elders, leaders of the community — give them double the a'dhab, O Allah. Then they will say: O Allah, curse them — a very, very great curse. And the curse is defined in the books of tafsir as: O Allah, fling them far away from your mercy. Do not shower your mercy upon them for what they allowed to happen to us. Not necessarily that they did it to us, but they allowed it to happen to us. They were not concerned about our guidance.

So those very children that we hold dear and love more than we love ourselves — by failing in our responsibility to guide them, to mentor them, and to inculcate the correct aqeedah, akhlaq, and tarbiyah within them — this is a potential outcome. May Allah protect us all from this. Say ameen, insha'Allah.

This is the greatest struggle that we all have — ensuring that our children remain steadfast on the straight path. This is a very dark and tragic ending for those who fail in this responsibility.

The Glad Tidings: Succeeding in Our Responsibility

And just as Allah gives us tarheeb — warnings — He also gives us targheeb — encouragement. Just as He sent Nabi ﷺ as a nadheer and a warner, He also sent him as a basheer, a bringer of glad tidings:

Rasulullah ﷺ was sent as an inviter to Allah, and he was given both of these: the knowledge of targheeb — the encouraging ahadith and ayat of the Qur'an that motivate us — and the knowledge of tarheeb — the warnings that alert us to the negative outcome if we fail in fulfilling our responsibility.

On the basharah side, Allah mentions, among several ayat, in Surah At-Tur:

Those who believed, they themselves believed, they did good deeds, and through the fadl of Allah they entered into Jannah. But they also made an effort on their progeny and their children, such that their children also entered into Jannah. Then Allah says: their progeny, their children, they follow after them — not just because of any vacuum, but as a result of the efforts of their parents. They followed their footsteps.

Meaning the parents established the path through their own actions, and then their children followed that path. They didn't just preach with words but demonstrated through action. So the iman of the children is not a separate, independent, coincidental phenomenon. It was a direct result of the efforts of their parents — through their words and through their actions. They preached and they practiced, they demonstrated and showed the way, and they carried their children along the path. They didn't just identify it and let them go. They nudged them, they did whatever was required, until they brought them on the straight path.

The Reward: Elevation in Jannah

The reward Allah says is 180 degrees, the polar opposite of what we saw in the previous ayah. The scholars of Tafsir explain: subhanAllah, what this means is that if these children excel their parents in iman, go above and beyond their parents in their a'mal, in their akhlaq, in their contributions, in the positive impact they have on society — no father or mother with fitrah salima, the natural disposition Allah has created in the human being, will ever be jealous of the progress of their own child. The natural way is that the parents are of course very happy with their children's success, and even more so if they go further ahead. Subhan'Allah.

So these children followed their parents, and alhamdulillah, they achieved higher ranks in Jannah — they are further above their parents in Jannah. So what happens, as a reward for these parents, is that they will be upgraded. They will be joined with them. These children become a means of elevation of the status in Jannah of their parents.

Now, how will this joining occur? Will the lower one be upgraded, or will the upper one be downgraded? Allah says — logically there are many scenarios: the upper one can come down to the lower one, or you can average it out somewhere in the middle. But those possibilities are negated by the next wording in the ayah. Allah says: wa maa alatanahum min amalihim min shay' — kullum ri'im bima kasaba raheen — nobody will be denied the level in Jannah that they have earned. Everyone will get the full reward of what they earned. So the only possibility is that somebody is being upgraded. And that is exactly what will happen. Subhan'Allah.

Entering the Gardens of Eternity Together

Allah says in Surah Ar-Ra'd:

Gardens of eternity — they will be entering them along with the righteous ones from their forefathers, their parents and grandparents, their spouses, and their children. They will be entering together. And the angels will be entering upon them from every single door, saying: Salamun alaikum bima sabartum — peace be upon you for verily you were patient in your worldly life. Fa ni'ma uqbad-dar — how beautiful is the final abode that you are returning to, the eternal abode. Subhan'Allah.

This is the salam from the angels. And the people of Jannah will be greeting each other — da'wahum fiha subhanakallahumma wa tahiyyatuhum fiha salam — their greeting to each other is salam. Then there is salamun qawlam min rabbir raheem — from Allah, the Merciful, He will be saying salam. Salam from each other, salam from the malaika, and salam from Allah. That is why one of the names of Jannah is Dar as-Salam — the abode of peace.

Allah is Himself as-Salam — He is the source of all peace, from Him comes all peace. We ask: O Allah, allow us to live in this worldly life with peace, and enter us, O Allah, into Jannah, into the abode of eternal peace.

Conclusion: A Call to Fulfill Our Responsibility

This is the result if we do our job. And nothing could be more clear — we have the warning, we have the basharah and the glad tidings. It is up to us to make this intention and to remain focused on fulfilling this responsibility, more now than ever, and to have this concern day and night — as parents, as fathers, as mothers — that this great blessing, the children that Allah has given us: thumma latus'alunna yawma'idhin a'nin na'eem — we will be asked by Allah about this duty, about this responsibility, about this gift. What have we done?

May Allah give me and you, and all of us, the tawfiq to discharge this great amanah and fulfill the responsibility, such that our children become a means of elevation of our status in Jannah. May Allah protect us from their curses at the end, as they are being dragged to the fire of Jahannam and ask Allah to give us double the a'dhab.

Wa akhiru da'wana, walhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin.

Announcements

Please stand up and fill in all the gaps, insha'Allah. Please move forward and fill in all the gaps before we start the sunnah. Please pass the donation boxes and donate generously. Allow the boxes to reach the other side and give opportunity for others to give sadaqa on the day of Jumu'ah — in times of calamities, it draws the mercy of Allah.

Summer Programs for Children

As we were talking about the topic of guiding our children and making their tarbiyah, we have programs to support that responsibility:

Tarbiyah for Tots — for boys and girls ages 4 and 5, starting June 25th to July 17th.

QIS Camp (Quran, Islamic Studies & Sports) — for boys and girls ages 6 to 13.

Tamheed Program — a six-week immersion for ages 13 and above, including college students. This program guides students through a transformative journey to understand and appreciate the core principles of Islam. There is also a Deen Intensive and Arabic Essentials included. Please visit the website for more details.

Alhamdulillah, these are all different programs that we can try to get our children enrolled in at every age level — to protect them, to guide them, and to insha'Allah instill the correct understanding of the deen and the amal of the deen.

Weekly & Upcoming Programs

Tuesday Tafsir — after Maghrib salah.
Thursday Seerah Program — after Maghrib salah.
Saturday Team Fajr — after Fajr salah.
Hajj Seminar — Friday, May 16th, followed by Maghrib salah, for all those intending to perform Hajj this year or in the future.
Sisters Seerah Series — bi-weekly in-person program, Seerah, Salawat & Sohbah with Alimah Khadijah Laki, every other Sunday, 12pm to 1:45pm.
Online Sisters Weekly Tafsir — Thursdays with Alimah Niqah Muqeem.

Request for Du'a

There is a request for dua for Sister Safura Sultana, who passed away in Hyderabad, leaving behind two children ages 3 and 1 year old. Please make dua for her.

And there is a continual request for dua from all of us for Palestine, Lebanon, Syria, Burma, and the entire Muslim Ummah.

May Allah protect all of us and guide all of us. Ameen.