Practical Guidance for a Blessed and Successful Marriage

Opening Quranic Recitation

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ — الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ

Opening Reminder

We don't want to take too much time with the long advice here. But basically it is:

And for the reminder, it is beneficial for the believers. That whatever we were studying — that was all the theory when it comes to marriage. And now we are stepping into this new phase of our journey. This is something that is going to be a practical experience now.

Advice for the Couple

Humility and Seeking Advice

We should, number one — and this is the big test for students of knowledge or ulema — we should not fall into this misconception that, "I know it all. I studied Kitab-e-Nikah from Hidayah to Bukhari to everything in between and I know what I'm doing." Rather, we always have to take advice from our elders, from our parents, and those who have tread the path before us, because there is no substitute for experience.

So we should take this out of our mind that we know it all. Rather, we should realize that we need the du'as of our parents, we need the du'as of our elders, and keep on taking mashwarah from them.

Mawlana Yusuf al-Ghani, shaheed, rahmatullahi alayhi, in one of his mawa'id, he mentions this, and he quotes from Hilyatul Awliya, that someone came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and asked for advice. And Rasulullah ﷺ had said, "Rarely does wisdom spring forth from the tongue of Umar." So he gave a number of advices. One of the advices he gave is: whenever you make any decision, then continue to take mashwarah and advice from those who fear Allah.

This is what Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: take mashwarah from those who fear Allah. So inshallah, with istikhara and mashwarah and the ta'lim and tarbiyah together, then inshallah Allah will make your future bright and happy.

The Foundation of a Successful Marriage

The bottom line about the whole marriage relationship is that we have to always be trying our best to ensure we are fulfilling whatever rights our spouse has. And we have to always just forgive and forgo our own rights. It's all about compassion and forgiveness and compromise. We cannot be rigid.

All the problems come in when we become rigid. When we say, "It's my way or the highway." Sometimes one will have to compromise, sometimes the other. But it's all based on compromise and considering the other individual. And if both of you will consider each other's needs and wishes and desires — permissible desires — and accommodate one another, then inshallah it will be a very successful marriage.

That is why some of the marriage therapists and psychologists, they have said that there is no 100% compatible spouse. The 100% compatible spouse does not exist. It's a figment of imagination. It is a false portrayal on the screen of movies and theater. But in reality there is no 100% compatible spouse.

"Oh, you're so lucky you found a 100% compatible spouse." No, such a thing does not exist. The blissful marriage is the one in which we learn how to successfully manage the incompatibilities. And how we respect one another, fulfill each other's rights, and forgive and forgo our own rights, and fear Allah every step of the way.

May Allah bless you all and keep both of you happy inshallah.

The Nikah Ceremony

Procedure

So now moving to the actual nikah itself. It is a very, very simple procedure. There will be ijab and qubool — offer and acceptance. And then inshallah there will be a small khutbah, the khutbah masunah, the khutbah of Rasulullah ﷺ, with four ayat reminding us to have taqwa. And then we will have the ijab and qubool and the du'a.

Confirmation of Permission

So before we begin inshallah, I will ask the father, the wali, Danish Muhammad Shah Jamalia — Brother Danish Muhammad Shah Jamalia, did you take permission from your daughter Hajal Sabreen Danish that her nikah can be performed with Mawlana Ahmad Yusuf Suleiman, with the agreed upon mahr, in the presence of witnesses? Did you take permission from her?

Yes, I have.

You had witnesses with you? They were Samir Jamalia and Altaf Namasha?

Yes.

So this is now establishing that he is the wakil — the representative. Brother Danish Muhammad Shah Jamalia will be representing his daughter Hajal Sabreen Danish in giving her nikah to Ahmad Yusuf Suleiman. So inshallah we will recite the khutbah, a few ayat, and then inshallah we will have the ijab and qubool and du'a.

The Ijab and Qubool

Please repeat after me inshallah.

"I, Danish Muhammad, do hereby grant my daughter Hajal Sabreen Danish in nikah to Ahmad Yusuf Suleiman in the presence of the witnesses Samir Jamalia and Altaf Namasha, with the agreed upon mahr."

"I, Ahmad Yusuf Suleiman, do hereby accept in my nikah Hajal Sabreen Danish, daughter of Danish Muhammad Shah, in the presence of the witnesses Samir Jamalia and Altaf Namasha, with the agreed upon mahr."

Du'a for the Couple

We can all repeat the du'a for the couple.

All the efforts of their parents in making their tarbiyah and the efforts of their teachers in their ta'lim — Oh Allah, bring it to fruition so that the upcoming years in their lives in this new chapter become mubarak and blessed.

Oh Allah, grant them love for each other. Grant them respect for each other. Make them among those who fulfill each other's rights and forgive and forgo their own rights. Oh Allah, grant them happiness and bliss. Oh Allah, shower Your mercy upon them. Oh Allah, protect them from nazar and hasad and the evil eye. Protect them from all fitan and shurur — from all trials and tribulations and anxieties and worries and calamities.

Oh Allah, just as they were model students and model children of their parents, make them model spouses and model parents and model teachers for the next generation. Oh Allah, make them model Ummatis of Your Rasul. Oh Allah, make them Your model slaves. Oh Allah, make it easy for all of us to have such mubarak and blessed nikah — for ourselves and for our children and those who are unmarried.

Oh Allah, those who are unmarried in this gathering, make it easy for them to find righteous spouses. Those that are married here, oh Allah, bless our marriages. Oh Allah, allow us to realize that the true happiness and success and contentment in this life — starting from this life itself — lies in following Your commands and the Sunnah of Your beloved Habibul Mustafa. Oh Allah, grant us this reality and this yaqeen.

Oh Allah, all of the ways of those who disbelieve in You, of the people of this dunya, outwardly may seem very enticing and exciting, but internally, oh Allah, they are devoid of all happiness and contentment. Give us this reality, oh Rabbul Alameen. Success lies only in following Your commands and the Sunnah of Your Rasul. Oh Allah, grant us this haqiqah, oh Rabbul Alameen. Not only grant us this yaqeen — grant us the ability to make amal on it, oh Rabbul Alameen. And to spread this yaqeen and conviction throughout the world, oh Rabbul Alameen.

Oh Allah, oh Allah, oh Allah — in this age of trials and fitan, when we are constantly hearing so many bad news and such depressing stories, oh Allah, we thank You for allowing us to witness such a happy occasion, oh Rabbul Alameen. Oh Allah, grant us so many more happy occasions like this, oh Rabbul Alameen. Oh Allah, protect and preserve our upcoming generation, our youth in this country, oh Rabbul Alameen. Grant them the ilm of the deen and the tawfiq to make amal on it, oh Rabbul Alameen. Protect our iman, oh Rabbul Alameen. Grant us all khatmah bil khayr, oh Rabbul Alameen.

Oh Allah, oh Allah, oh Allah — this couple, grant them mutual understanding, oh Rabbul Alameen. Oh Allah, allow both of the families to become as one unit, oh Rabbul Alameen. Oh Allah, this is such a blessed union — this is the Sunnah of Your anbiya, this is the half of the deen — oh Allah, make them such a model that people can look up to them and be inspired by them and follow their example, oh Rabbul Alameen. Oh Allah, grant them healthy and righteous children, oh Rabbul Alameen, that will become the coolness of their eyes and the eyes of their grandparents, oh Rabbul Alameen, and that will become a means of elevation of their status in the akhirah and Jannah, oh Rabbul Alameen.

Oh Allah, whatever du'as were made, accept them, oh Rabbul Alameen. Whatever du'as we should have made but did not make, accept them on our behalf as well, oh Rabbul Alameen.

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ