Importance of Keeping Good Company - Mawlana Emran Salam | Islamic Reminder | Jummah Khutbah

The Importance of Keeping Good Company

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ وَكَفَى وَسَلَامٌ عَلَى عِبَادِهِ الَّذِينَ اصْطَفَى

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4833; Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378)

Allah describes many things inside the Qur'an. One of the most horrifying, the most terrifying descriptions that Allah describes in the Qur'an is the scene on the Day of Qiyamah. Allah uses many different terms to describe that scenario: يَوْمَ التَّلَاق, يَوْمَ التَّغَابُن, يَوْمَ الْحَشْر, يَوْمَ الْآزِفَة, الْحَاقَّة, مَا الْحَاقَّة, وَمَا أَدْرَاكَ مَا الْحَاقَّة, الْقَارِعَة, مَا الْقَارِعَة, وَمَا أَدْرَاكَ مَا الْقَارِعَة. So many different words Allah uses throughout the entire Qur'an to describe the scene of Qiyamah.

But one of the most terrifying and one of the most thought-provoking descriptions Allah uses to describe Qiyamah is يَوْمَ الْحَسْرَة — the Day of Grief, the Day of Anguish, the Day of Anxiety. On that day every single person — it doesn't matter whether he's in Jahannam, it doesn't matter whether he's in Jannah — every single person on that day will feel some sort of regret.

We might be wondering what kind of regret will a person in Jannah be feeling. We know through the hadith that a person is going to see a Jannah higher than his — so much more beautiful, so much more spacious, so much more luxurious. He's going to ask, what did this person do to get this higher Jannah? It will be said to him: he said one more SubhanAllah than you. And then that regret is going to come: only if I had gone back and said one more SubhanAllah. So even the people in Jannah will have regret.

And we can understand the people of Jahannam — how much they will regret. They'll regret over their actions, the things that they did that they weren't supposed to do, the things that they said, the things that they heard, everything they'll regret. But there is a certain type of regret that Allah highlights in the Qur'an, and this is the regret of the company that one kept. If a person kept good company, he won't regret. If a person kept bad company, it will be one of the things he most regrets.

Our Spirituality Is Governed by Those Around Us

Our spirituality is governed by those around us. And Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said so beautifully — he didn't say that a person is going to follow the deen of his brother. He didn't say a person is going to follow the deen of his father. He didn't say a person is going to follow the religion of his tribe or his family. He so aptly said:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4833; Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378)

That a person is going to follow the religion of his friend. And then he gave some very important advice: فَلْيَنظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلْ — be very careful with whom you befriend.

The Story of 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt

Allah mentions in the Qur'an, in Surah Al-Furqan:

A person, when he is anxious, psychological studies prove that he does certain things. One of the things a person does to relieve anxiety is he begins to bite his nails. Allah is describing the scene: وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ — that person, out of anxiety, is not only biting his nails, he is biting his entire hand off. SubhanAllah.

In عُلُومُ الْقُرْآن — the sciences of the Qur'an — the مُفَسِّرُون and the scholars of the Qur'an categorize something called أَسْبَابُ النُّزُول — the reasons of revelation, why a particular ayah was revealed. The مُفَسِّرُون say this ayah was revealed regarding a certain individual by the name of 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt.

'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt was a very famous VIP, a dignitary of Quraysh — a very famous, very successful, wealthy businessman. But he did not become Muslim; he was a bitter enemy of Islam. What he used to do was go on business trips. This is when Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was still in Makkah. He would go on these business trips and, after amassing a large profit, a large amount of wealth, he would come back and then give a da'wah — extend an invitation to all the dignitaries and VIPs of Quraysh.

Now, everybody used to come to his house to eat. Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, being of the most noble lineage, would automatically be invited as well. One of the most embarrassing and unbearable things for a host — we all just passed through the days of Eid, so we can understand to a certain extent — is if someone comes to your house and doesn't eat from your food. How do we feel?

Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam went there, he pitched up at the da'wah, and everybody was eating, but Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was not eating the food of 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt. 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt got worried — what will people say? What will people think? This person is not eating your food. He goes to Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells him: "Wallahi, I am not going to eat your food until you recite this kalima — La ilaha illallah Muhammadur Rasulullah."

Now 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt — Iman was not destined to enter his heart. He didn't want to become Muslim. But he couldn't lose face either; he couldn't lose his reputation in front of the people. The Arabs are famous for their hospitality. To pacify Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam — not really taking Iman, only to make him happy, only so Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam could partake in his food — he recited the kalima: La ilaha illallah Muhammadur Rasulullah. Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam got happy, everything was fine, and he carried on.

By and by, what tends to happen is that 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt's close companion and close associate was one of the greatest enemies of Islam — Ubay ibn Khalaf. Ubay ibn Khalaf wasn't there at the time. When Ubay ibn Khalaf returned from his journey, he approached 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt and said: "O 'Uqbah, I heard you renounced the religion of your forefathers." 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt told him: "I did not accept the religion of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. The only reason I said this kalima was so that Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam could eat my food."

Ubay ibn Khalaf told him: "If you want to maintain this relationship — if you want to be my close associate, if you want to remain my friend — I want you not only to go and renounce Islam in front of Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I also want you to go and spit in his face." SubhanAllah. So then 'Uqbah, because he wanted to stay this person's friend, went and performed this very heinous, evil act in front of Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt caused a lot of difficulty and a lot of problems to Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Throughout his seerah, if one studies, he sees how this person interacted with Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. The verses were revealed:

Allah is saying: that day, when the dhalim — the oppressor, the one who oppressed himself — begins to bite his hands off, he says:

يَٰلَيْتَنِى اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا — "Woe unto me! If only I had followed the Messenger! If only I had followed the Messenger!"

يَٰوَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِى لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا — "Destruction unto me! Woe unto me! If only I had never even seen this person! If only I had never taken this person as my friend!"

لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِى عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَآءَنِى — "I said the kalima, I said the kalima, but then after I said the kalima, he misguided me."

وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَٰنُ لِلْإِنسَٰنِ خَذُولًا — At the time, Shaytan makes insan many many promises: all the time "I'll do this for you, I'll do this for you." But when insan needs Shaytan, then Shaytan is خَذُولًا — he deserts insan.

A True Friend Tells You What You Need to Hear

My brothers and my sisters — if on the day of our janaza salah it might be internationally publicized, it might be on the television, we might have the largest janaza, but if inside that janaza there is not a single person that can attract the mercy of Allah, then wallahi we are unsuccessful. Wallahi we are unsuccessful.

One of my ustads from South Africa, Mawlana Ziyad, mentioned one incident that happened with him to his students. There was a person living in the dormitories who used to have a habit of continuously missing Fajr salah. In the beginning you give targhib — you give encouragement: "You should pray. This is the reward, this is the reward." After a while, if that tactic isn't working, then you start giving tarhib — you start warning him: "This is the punishment if you don't pray salah." And then pretty soon, the madrasa — because the purpose of the madrasa is to ensure that a person's not only academic knowledge is fulfilled, but his spiritual connection with Allah remains — had to take action. One of the main things is coming to the masjid and praying salah with jama'ah.

So the ustad shouted at that student; he got angry with him, he was a little bit harsh. Then that student's friend who was with him got a little bit upset: "Why are you speaking to the student like this? You shouldn't have spoken so harshly with him. You should have spoken in a softer manner." So he goes to the ustad — he had a little bit of guts, a little bit of courage — he tells the ustad and starts his rant: "Why are you doing this? How could you do this? Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never did this..." and so on. When he was finished, the ustad told him: "Are you finished? Let me start now."

He said: "You are staying with this student for so many years. You are sleeping next to him for so many years, in the same room. You guys are going through first year, second year, third year, fourth year, all the way until final year. You're seeing he has a problem from first year — from first year you're seeing he has a problem and he doesn't wake up for Fajr salah — and still you don't say anything to rectify him. You are not his friend. You are his enemy."

Ibn Hazm — he passed away in 456 AH — he was an Andalusian scholar, a scholar from Spain. He said: a friend is not someone who tells you what you want to hear all the time. A friend is someone who tells you what you need to hear. SubhanAllah.

The Companions of the Cave — The Virtue of Righteous Company

So these are some of the dangers — we have to be very careful of the company we associate with. Because of this, the Sahaba radiallahu ta'ala alayhim ajma'in also had this concern: "O Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who is our friend? Who should we befriend?" This was a question some of the Sahaba asked Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

Before that, an interesting point: Imam Qurtubi mentions that the People of the Cave — the companions of the cave — when they left their town to save their Iman because they were being oppressed for their religion, they left their town, and there was a dog with them. That dog accompanied them. Because that dog stayed in the company of the pious — because that dog stayed with the friends of Allah — Allah loved that dog so much that until Qiyamah, the name of that dog will be forever mentioned in the Qur'an, connected with those individuals of the cave. SubhanAllah.

So the مُفَسِّرُون say: if this dog was given such an elevated status by staying with the companions of Allah, then how about you and I? If we stay with the pious, if we stay with those people who are close to Allah, then what will Allah not do for us?

Many a time we stay with people — we know they backbite, we know they dress immodestly, we know they miss salah, we know they slander, we know they eat out haram — so many things. If we are not progressing in our relationship with Allah, then it might be time to change our friend circle, change our companions.

If we know, for example, we are easily influenced by ghibah — someone starts ghibah and we automatically join in, we get into the discussion right away — if we know we ourselves have a certain weakness, we don't like praying salah — Allah forgive us, some of us are weak, because of weak Iman sometimes we might skip salah, sometimes we might not go to the masjid for salah — if we know we're not so cautious about halal and haram, then we have to choose our friends carefully. We choose someone who always goes to the masjid. We choose someone who is always punctual with their salah. We choose someone who is overcautious with his halal and haram. That way our spirituality with Allah will definitely increase, and it will be a benefit for us in this world and a benefit for us in the hereafter.

Our principal, Mawlana Abdul Hamid Sahib, used to say: your best friend is a person when you are alone with that person, you too are remembering Allah. And when that person is alone with Allah, he is remembering you — SubhanAllah — he is making du'a for you to Allah.

Who Is Your Best Companion?

Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mentions in one narration — the Sahaba radiallahu ta'ala alayhim ajma'in asked: "O Rasulullah, who is our best companion? Who is our best friend?" So Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam replied:

(Musnad al-Bazzar; also referenced in Hilyat al-Awliya of Imam Abu Nu'aym)

Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says: مَنْ ذَكَّرَكُمُ اللهَ رُؤْيَتُهُ — that person you should take as a friend, he is your best friend — as soon as you see that person, you immediately become conscious of Allah. Immediately you begin to think of Allah, you begin to think of the Akhirah. SubhanAllah. As soon as you see that person, the love of Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam comes into your life, the love of Sunnah comes into your life.

The second: وَزَادَ فِي عِلْمِكُمْ مَنْطِقُهُ — whenever he speaks, your knowledge of the Akhirah increases. Every single thing he says — he doesn't speak about dunya, he's not worried about dunya — everything is about the Akhirah.

The third: وَذَكَّرَكُمْ بِالْآخِرَةِ عَمَلُهُ — and the way he conducts himself, everything he does, his priorities in his life, everything is pointing to Allah, everything is pointing to: "How can I get closer to Allah? What can I do for this ummah? What can I do to bring as many people close to Allah as I possibly can?"

The Value of Connection and Nisbat

So these are some of the things we can use. You see, the awliya — there are things that, due to the connection they have with something, their virtue increases. The qurbani animal is just a normal animal. But as soon as the nisbat — the connection — of that animal is made to udhiyah, as soon as it is connected to the ritual slaughter, then from that normal animal, the value increases so much so that every single hair on that animal you get reward for, every single fiber of wool on that animal you get reward for. Just because of this connection, this nisbat.

The same way — you have a brick. This brick could be a normal brick. If it's the brick of your house, you have a little bit more value attached to it. If it's the brick of someone else's house, you don't really care. If it's the brick of the masjid, that brick automatically has a little bit more intrinsic value. If it's the brick of a very large masjid — the masjid of the entire state, for example — that brick has a little bit extra value. If it's the brick of Masjid Al-Aqsa, that brick has tremendous value. If it's the brick of the Haram, if it's the brick of Masjid Al-Nabawi, people will race to try to get their hands on that brick. Because it's not the brick that has value — it's the connection of that brick. That brick has a connection with the house of Allah. That brick has a connection with the beloved of Allah, with Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. That's what gives that brick value.

The same way, we are made out of dust. Dust is meaningless. Dust has no value whatsoever. But if we take that dust — the awliya, they learn how to make that dust valuable. That dust which means nothing — but when that dust becomes the dust of Allah, when that person becomes a person of Allah, when that person becomes a wali of Allah, then those awliya know how to make their dust valuable. They learn how to make their dust valuable. SubhanAllah.

The Friends of Allah Shall Have No Fear

Allah is saying: the friends of Allah — on the Day of Qiyamah they won't fear anything, they won't be sad in the slightest, no regrets. SubhanAllah. That's why Allah is saying in the Qur'an: O people who believe, fear Allah, and stay with the righteous people. Stay with the righteous people.

We might ourselves not be so righteous — we know this, we are all very weak. But if we know certain pious individuals that we can stay in the company of, then Allah will benefit us with that relationship in this world and in the Akhirah.

To prove this: a Bedouin came to Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and started asking: "When is the hour? When is Qiyamah going to come?" So Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam — with so much patience, so much conduct, so much adab, so much love, so much mahabba — told that person: "Okay. What have you prepared for it?"

So that person began to think to himself — remember, this is a Sahabi — "You know, I didn't really do anything. I didn't do so much. My nawafil aren't good, my sawm isn't so good, my hajj isn't so good." How many of us are confident enough to present our amal before Allah, to present our deeds before Allah? This is a Sahabi saying the same thing. He tells Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam: "I didn't do so much." But he looks into his heart and says: "You know, but there is one thing — I love Allah and I love his Messenger."

So then Nabi-e-Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told him:

"You will be with those whom you love on the Day of Qiyamah."

So even if we are not the most pious individuals — we ourselves have certain deficiencies — but if we love the pious and we stay with the pious, Allah will put barakah in this relationship, and we will be successful in this world and in the hereafter.

Jazakumullahu khayran. Wa akhiru da'wana alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin.