Surah Mu'minun - Ep.3 | Mufti Azeemuddin Ahmed

Beloved brothers and sisters, dear listeners, السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

We ask, once again, Allah عز و جل — we thank Him for blessing us this opportunity to sit together in His house to go over some verses of the Qur'an, and with this conviction and yaqeen we sit that these are the words of Allah. In it lies the secrets of the world, in it lies all the answers to the questions of the world, and in it lies our guidance and the guidance of humanity — and this is where our solutions lie.

I ask Allah عز و جل to increase us in our conviction in the power of the Qur'an, and I ask Allah عز و جل to open up our hearts and minds to the secrets and the beauty of the Qur'an. I ask Allah عز و جل to allow myself and all of us here that whatever we are listening to and sharing, may He allow us to immediately put it into practice, propagate it to others, and utilize this opportunity to rejuvenate our faith. آمِينَ رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ

Whatever intention anyone is coming here with — trying to learn something — may Allah عز و جل allow them to gain more than they have anticipated, and allow them to leave this gathering recharged and energized, having their questions answered, their doubts removed, and their needs of this world and the next being fulfilled. آمِينَ رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ

We are on our third lesson of Surah al-Mu'minun. In the first lesson we covered the description and the meaning of falah — success — in detail. In the second session we discovered and discussed the attributes from amongst the attributes of the people who are successful. The number one attribute of these people of iman is salah — so what does it mean to have a proper salah, what are the qualities of a salah, and how we can improve our concentration — that was discussed last week.

Insha'Allah, we will be discussing the remaining attributes of the people of iman today.

The Second Attribute: Turning Away from Laghw (Vain Talk)

Allah عز و جل says in the third ayah regarding the people of belief — if you may remember, we talked about the fact that believers are successful. It is a very general statement, but then Allah سبحانه وتعالى further clarifies and adds attributes and qualities of the people of belief, so that this circle of believers starts shrinking. Because the more qualities you add, it is like you are adding a filter. So we have to make sure that by the time we are done, we fall into that category that has all the filters checked off. Even if one of them does not get checked off, we are not going to fall into that category — and that is the scary part.

So we have to make sure that these qualities — if we do not have them in us — we should be sitting here saying: ya Allah, please create this sifah, please create this attribute within myself, my family, and so forth.

The first one here today is the third ayah — the second attribute — that indeed those who are unfailingly turned away from any vile talk they hear. This is a sifat of a believer.

So what is laghw? It is something permissible in which there is no benefit for the akhira — something permissible, even if it is permissible, but there is no benefit in the long run. It is called laghw. When something is haram, that is obviously not even a point of discussion. Laghw is something which is of no benefit to you in the long run.

Allah says that indeed Allah has made the meat of a dead animal, blood, the flesh of pig, flowing blood, and all the other things — all are haram. Indeed any type of intoxicant, any type of gambling — these things are all impermissible, they are filled with shaitan, so stay away from them. That is what is haram. But we are talking about laghw — those things which are permissible but do not assist you in building your akhira.

Nabi ﷺ would not say much poetry at all — he would stay away from it — but then he would say the most truthful statement that any poet has ever said is the statement of the poet Labid, and that statement is: anything and everything besides Allah is useless. Everything besides Allah is void of any benefit. There is no long-term benefit because the only Being that shall remain forever is Allah, and everything else besides Allah will come to absolute destruction, everything will come to an end.

Except for the continuance of Allah. Whatever you have will come to an end. Whatever is with Allah shall remain. Since Allah is there, was there, and will always be there — He was the First without being preceded by anything, He is the Last without having anything come after Him. He was there when nothing was there, He will be there when nothing will be there.

So anything that is connected with Allah also remains forever, because Allah is staying forever and Allah was there forever. So anything you connect with Allah will also have longevity. This is what the verse says:

Whatever you have is going to come to an end. Because you and I are fani — we came here to die. As a poet says: is this not true? Every single child that comes into this world — the clock starts ticking. Every single day he is getting closer to his death. As soon as he is born, the clock begins to tick for his life on earth. So the poet says: give birth for death, because the end result is going to be death. And build all you want — structures, beautiful things — but build for the purpose of destruction, because whatever goes up must come down, whatever is built must come to an end.

So here we have the poet saying: everything besides Allah is useless. So the Qur'an is saying: whatever you have will come to an end, whatever is with Allah will be forever. So if a person wants what he has to remain forever — he loves his money and says, "I love this, I want it to be with me all the time" — the only way to have it with you all the time is to send it forth to the akhira.

That is why one person came to Rasulullah ﷺ. He said, "Ya Rasulullah, I don't want to go to the akhira." So true — how many of us would be saying the same thing? "I love the akhira, but I am not excited about going to the akhira. What should I do?" Rasulullah ﷺ gave him such a beautiful example. He said: a man likes to be with his luggage, he likes to be with his things. If you sent your things to the hereafter, naturally you will be inclined to leave to the hereafter. He said: "I have nothing here."

SubhanAllah — many people were preparing for death. That is what they do, they just give everything away. I remember we went to one scholar's house long, long ago — my parents were there too, SubhanAllah, in South Africa — and we entered the house. To his left was a whole big box of ithirs. We were wondering what this was. As soon as he entered the home, his family — the wife — was saying, "My husband has pulled out everything he has. He is preparing for death." So he keeps everything there and says, "What am I going to do with a collection of 50 ithirs? Now I am getting ready to pass away." And he comes and gives a couple of bottles — just reducing all the stock, liquidating it — that is what you are doing. Liquidating. Preparing for the hereafter. You are sending it to the hereafter. When you give a gift, you are sending it to the hereafter. Your favorite ithir — you are going to get it over there. Whatever you have, you give it, you will get it back in a manner that it will never perish, never come to an end.

Another person asks about investments: "What should I do?" Nabi ﷺ asked him, "Do you want to invest in something that doesn't burn, doesn't get stolen, doesn't get drowned?" — because ships and all these other things were affected by all sorts of natural disasters. So what type of investment is that? Investment in the hereafter. When a person invests in the hereafter, that will be ultra-safe — the safest investment with the highest return. Everyone is talking about investments — what is the safest investment with the highest return? Investment in the hereafter. Because Allah is Baqi, and anything sent to Him will remain Baqi. That is how it is.

It is like a person about to jump over a creek. Now, with all the luggage that you have, there is no way you are going to be able to make that jump. If you carry suitcases in your hands, you are going to drown. The only way is either you eat it — but how much are you going to eat? The smart way is that you somehow, one after another, you take things and you throw them across — across the river, across the creek, across the stream — until you have thrown everything you had across. And then, now that you are free at last, you make that one big leap.

Abu Darda رضي الله عنه used to live a very simple life. And Umm Darda, his wife, said, "Abu Darda, you don't keep anything extra in the home. Such a simple, bare minimum, minimalistic life you are leading." So what did he have in his mind? He had in his mind the ayahs of Surah al-Balad. He said: the Aqabah — the valley that you and I have to pass — is very deep, the climb is very steep, the journey is very long. And carrying all of this burden is too heavy. I am scared we will not be able to cross it with all of this luggage. That is why I am trying to be light.

Ask anyone who goes cross-country camping or hiking — what do they carry? Someone like me who doesn't have the experience might say, "We might need this, we might need that," and that person suffers the most. Ask anyone who has gone camping, ask anyone in Wahi Jamaat — whatever the case may be — the person who carries the most suffers the most. It is very hard. You want to carry light — it becomes easy for you to move forward. Eventually you have to start leaving things, and then leaving them in the middle of the journey is painful. You should have just left them at home.

SubhanAllah — this is the dunya. For a three-day camping trip or hiking, you struggle. Imagine the journey to the akhira. Abu Darda's wife — "I don't have the capacity to be hiking, going through the valleys of the akhira to get to Jannah. It is too steep. I cannot be carrying this burden of material things of this world. That is why I like to remain light." May Allah give us the faham of this.

The Hadith on Leaving What Does Not Concern You

So we were talking about laghw. What is laghw? Anything besides something that will keep you connected to the akhira and something that is going to keep you in the remembrance of Allah is laghw. Nabi ﷺ's ahadith on this are many regarding various types of laghw. The famous hadith of Tirmidhi:

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2317; also in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3976)

It is the beauty of the Islam of a man that he leaves those things which do not concern him.

Someone who comes to the masjid — he doesn't look right, he doesn't look left, he doesn't look up. He comes, he prays, he does his dhikr, he does his dua, he smiles at someone, he shares a few things, he puts a couple of dollars in sadaqah, picks up the dirt that he may see there, and he walks away — without getting involved in this discussion or that discussion. There are always discussions happening — the parking lot, the lobby, this, that — all sorts of things. But: "I came here to pray. I came here to connect myself with Allah." Why should he come here and backbite? Why should he come here and carry tales? Why should he come here and falsely accuse someone?

SubhanAllah — this is shaitan, who misleads a person. A person goes to the haram, goes to the masjid, and instead of benefiting, he ends up harming himself because of the things he gets involved in. This is the real Muslim that you should look up to and we should aspire to become — a person who does not put his nose where it does not belong, and who stays away from any and all useless discussions.

He asks himself before he speaks: "Is this going to be beneficial?" Think about what you are about to say — a comment about someone's jacket, about their car, about their child, about their home. Ask yourself: is there some benefit in this — in the akhira, in the dunya? Will this person be happy, or is this a random attack on someone's honor, on someone's belongings, making fun of someone — tit for tat, "he said something to my son so I have to say something to him today"? A person needs to always be aware of this.

Do not say something which is irrelevant. Many, many times you go sit with people to enjoy a cup of coffee or chai — and most of the time, I would say, the discussions immediately become irrelevant, if not absolutely harmful and sinful, but most definitely irrelevant. Notice even on the nights of Ramadan — just walk around, whether here or anywhere else, at home or in some masjid — people drinking chai, people eating. What are you talking about? You are in the masjid. It is the 27th night of Ramadan. What is the discussion about? It is random stuff — someone is talking about stocks, someone is talking about Pakistan politics, someone about Saudi politics, someone about soccer, someone about the latest issue in something else. What is this? What does this have to do with anything? And more so on the last final nights of Ramadan, in the house of Allah — why are we speaking about this?

This is why we have a major problem in our masajid — the fact that there is so much useless talk happening. You would have a rule: "I am not going to force you to do this much dhikr, this much Qur'an — you can do whatever you want, you can even sleep — but one thing you cannot do is talk, out of line, unnecessarily." This is where it all adds up. Talking, most of the time, for most people who haven't trained their tongue, ends up becoming useless or harmful talk.

If a person can simply learn how to zip it up and force himself to stay in an environment where he is not allowed to speak, you have to wean yourself off of talking unnecessarily. Train yourself to say — just like they say, "Watch what you eat. Don't just randomly snack. If you have to eat, eat a proper meal." Similarly, if you have to speak, you can give a one-hour talk — no problem. You can do a one-hour presentation at work — no problem. But make sure that we are not just randomly throwing comments every two minutes which are not only irrelevant but at many times also sinful. And this ruins everything.

So we say: how do I become a better believer? The way you become a better believer is that you do not ask about things that are not relevant to you. And if someone says something, do not ask further questions about it. Just act as though you do not care.

The 'Ibad al-Rahman and Their Response to Laghw

This reminds us of the sifat of the believers mentioned in Surah al-Furqan — the servants of the Most Merciful:

Whenever they pass by a gathering of laghw, they act as though they did not see it — in a very dignified manner, they walk by it as if they do not see. Meaning, some people are doing something haram. Allah forbid — someone is dressed inappropriately, someone is fulfilling their lust somewhere on the street.

What would a believer do? Would a believer look? Would a believer engage? Would a believer walk over there? Absolutely not. You act as though you never saw it, and you ignore it. That is a sign of a believer. That whenever evil things happen, lewd things happen — naturally, for sure. But even unnecessary discussions are happening around you — in the coffee room, in the break room, at a waleema, in any other gathering like that — you simply ignore it. You go act like: "I have to get a refill." And you go get a refill and go sit somewhere else.

That is the whole point. Because you have to, number one, protect yourself. And most of us, frankly, are not in a situation where you can control the table. I was asking the students the other day in one of the classes: "How many of you can control the conversation on the table?" If you can control the conversation on the table, then by all means, go and do your work. But most are not. Only maybe two raised their hand. The rest said: "No — for you, right now, you are not strong enough to be able to go into environments that are not absolutely clean and halal." Because instead of changing the conversation towards khair, you will end up getting dragged in and just nodding your head — because you do not want to be awkward, so you just nod your head. And you are giving your approval to whatever nonsense is being discussed, because you are too scared to speak up and say: "I disagree with you. This is wrong. You cannot do this. You cannot speak evil about someone. You cannot attack someone's integrity. You cannot attack ilm. You cannot attack scholars. You cannot attack the Qur'an."

Many people, most people, do not have the backbone to stand up and say "this is wrong" — like Umar رضي الله عنه. May Allah make us like him.

May Allah عز و جل grant us the ability to speak the truth all the time. As the Qur'an says:

These are the true people who are not afraid of anyone casting blame on them. They do not care. "People blame me — no problem. I have to do what is right." Definitely, the way we present it and the way we control the situation has to be based on hikmah — that is another important thing.

Imam Ghazali writes about this. He says: to speak to a fool who is not going to listen to you, who is going to distort what you say, who is stubborn and arrogant — and to stand up and speak the truth to him — in reality this is not smart. Because when you start speaking to him, the conversation is only going to become very tough. Insults are going to be hurled, things will go out of hand, anger will flare up. This is not the time to speak the truth.

Imam Ghazali writes in his Bidayat al-Hidayah that sometimes shaitan thinks he deceives a person, saying: "You are Umar — you need to speak the truth." He says there is a place to speak the truth. Sometimes you should not speak — you just get out of there. Because your speaking there will only cause a greater harm, only cause a greater retaliation. It is like taking a stick and hitting a beehive — what is the benefit of that? You move on.

So when people have this type of attitude, this is what وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا means — when the ignorant people try to mess with you, argue with you, start a discussion, start a debate: "No. I don't have time for this." And you move on. We literally have to learn how to say no to discussions. I don't have time for this.

I learned it the hard way. Every masjid has a couple of people who love to do this type of discussion, which is usually based on pure negativity — bashing people, attacking, assailing people's character. So now, when I am speaking to someone a little bit more than necessary — five minutes — then khalas, you have to get me out of this. Because that is what happens. I want to be respectful, but it is going nowhere. If all you can speak about every time I come around is how all the khateebs are irrelevant, all the imams are useless, and all the masjid boards are useless — and all you do is speak evil about people — then the question is: what have you done? What are you doing, besides bashing everyone?

I am sure this is their routine every day. This is what they do, that is what they are good at. And they do not realize that somehow they are wasting their life — every single day just carrying around toxicity and negativity. This is not how a believer is. A believer not only does not speak like this, but if someone is speaking like this, we move away. If someone is doing ghibah and attacking people, we move away. We say: "I am not that individual you are speaking about. If you have a problem, go speak to that individual."

Imagine if we all became like this. What would happen? All these people who are carrying around this garbage, this filth, this habit of backbiting — soon they will lose their audience. They will have no one to speak with. And then either they will stop talking or they will repent.

So we need to not just avoid backbiting and gossip ourselves, but we have to also not become an audience to anyone who is doing so. That is why the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Referenced in various hadith collections regarding the one who listens to backbiting being counted as one of the two backbiters)

The one who listens to another one backbiting is one of the two backbiters. You say, "I never said a word." But simply sipping your coffee and listening to someone backbite — you are one of the backbiters. Such an important thing today, when people filled with jealousy or anger speak ill about one another — we cannot give them an audience. We have to walk away, move away.

This is part of the laghw that the Prophet ﷺ warned us about. And the Qur'an says: who are the عِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ? Two attributes:

Number one: وَإِذَا مَرُّوا بِاللَّغْوِ مَرُّوا كِرَامًا — When they pass by laghw, they pass by honorably. They act as if they did not see anything.

Number two: وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا — When ignorant people want to mess with them, fight with them, push them, argue with them, cause a fuss, and speak to them — they say: Assalamu alaykum — and they move on. This is called salam al-wida — the salam of departure. They do not engage.

The Weight of a Single Gesture: The Hadith of Safiyyah

Safiyyah رضي الله عنها, one of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ — what happened with her? Another wife of the Prophet ﷺ said regarding her — she made an isharah, a gesture with her hand, indicating that Safiyyah was short: "Oh, you're talking about the short one?" — like this, just a gesture with her hand about her co-wife, تعني قصيرة. She did not even verbally say it. So the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4875; Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2502)

Indeed you have said such a statement — so bitter — that if it were to be mixed with the water of the oceans, it would have overpowered them. Just one gesture, in which you are doing ghibah, backbiting about another lady — your co-wife — saying that she is short. This is such a bitter statement. How many things like this come out of our mouths every day? إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ. This one sin — if Allah does not forgive us, we are all gone. So we have to ask Allah عز و جل to really protect us from this horrible mistake.

Nabi ﷺ said, in the narration mentioned in Jami' al-Saghir, from Husayn ibn Ali رضي الله عنه:

(Al-Jami' al-Saghir, from Husayn ibn Ali رضي الله عنه; also referenced in al-Mu'jam al-Awsat of al-Tabarani)

Indeed Allah سبحانه وتعالى loves great things, and Allah dislikes lowly things. So that is the model for a believer. We speak about lofty ideas. We do things that are grand. We stay away from useless, petty talk. And we of course stay away from useless, lowly things. As a believer, we live with an honor and waqar. Like someone looking at a senior general of the army — a four-star general — you expect every statement of his to be weighed. Like a Supreme Court justice — this person has a dignified manner. He does not just randomly say things. Every single thing is weighed before he speaks.

That is what every single one of us is — as a believer, as a representative of Rasulullah ﷺ on this earth — we do not speak out of line, we do not do things out of line. Everything is well thought, meticulously planned. Our actions, our words.

Every invitation — "Can you come over here? Can I meet you? Are you available? Let's look." What is the benefit of this invitation? Seriously. Is it going to help me in my dunya or akhira or neither? If you know an invitation is going to be filled with useless talk — yes, you will have a burger together, yes you will have some steaks — but besides that, 9 out of 10 people are disconnected from the deen, disconnected from the masjid, and the talk is going to be rubbish. It is going to waste three to four hours of your time, which you could have spent with your family, performing salah, doing dhikr, making dua, cleaning out your garage, making money to spend in good things. And what happened? Four hours gone — for a useless get-together in which not one statement of Allah and His Rasul has been mentioned.

The Prophet ﷺ said: any gathering in which Allah's name is not taken and salawat upon the Prophet ﷺ are not done —

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3380)

That gathering will be a source of remorse on the Day of Judgment. Did you hear what I said? Any gathering, any meet-up in which Allah's name is not taken and salawat upon the Prophet ﷺ are not mentioned — that gathering will become a burden, will be a liability on the Day of Judgment. Then why did you show up there?

Now let us start going. We do not have time for classes. We do not have time for duroos. Because we have all these appointments. You tell someone, "Saturday night we will have a dars or a talk." He says, "Brother, I am booked. Ramadan night — we are booked 29 nights for iftars." What is that iftar about? Being honest — what is the discussion at the iftar?

Ramadan is supposed to be a month of hunger. It is a month when you feel the pain of hunger. It is supposed to curb the shahawat, curb the lustful desires. It is supposed to remind us of the poor. But we know the average Muslim in our country gains weight in Ramadan — definitely serving, if not eating, more food than he has seen in his 11 months. Completely missing the whole point.

So what are these iftar parties? They are a bunch of gatherings in which, more than usual, the salah with jama'ah in the masjid is missed, and valuable time of Ramadan is wasted — not just in overeating, but in useless vain talk.

So you have to ask yourself: do you have to accept every dawat? Just like, if anyone gives you something to eat, what do you look at? Nutritional information, halal or haram, what is this? "It looks weird." "Brother, just taste it." "Nah, it's okay, I'll pass." Why is it that for every party we just go? "Oh, I got an invite, I have to go." This is the only time we remember sunnah. "Brother, it is necessary to accept the invitation."

All the other fara'id we forgot. The only sunnah we remember. By that same hadith:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 1240; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2162)

How many sick people have we visited so far, in this past month, in this past year? What else is there? Responding to his salam. اتِّبَاعُ الْجَنَازَةِ — How many janaazahs are we following? Not just showing up to the salat al-janazah — how many graves are we visiting and participating in the burial? تَشْمِيتُ الْعَاطِسِ — of course saying alhamdulillah to someone who sneezes. The one thing we remember is: show up to every single walima, wedding, mehndi, iftar party, graduation party — anything you are invited to, I have to go. For what?

Ask yourself: is this even legitimate? If this is based on a non-Islamic custom, this is the problem. Our community is so caught up in it. There are a few people who are doing wrong — fine. But what happens to all the rest of us who come, sit in gatherings of knowledge, come regularly to the masjid — some of them even learned people — and yet we show up to these places? Even if you do not host them, the fact that you show up to a pure cultural custom tells us that there is something wrong in our deen — flaws — that we can be bought. You just send me a nice card — I am sold. Invite me to a nice hotel — I am sold. A'udhu billah.

Brother, we are not beggars. Alhamdulillah, all of you sitting here have enough money to buy yourself a nice meal and to book yourself a nice hotel room if you ever wanted to. So this is the idea — there is nothing more valuable than your time. If someone is inviting you, ask yourself: this is my life — how is this going to help me in the grave and on the first night of the grave? How is this going to help me in the akhira? If there is no arrangement for Isha, no arrangement for Maghrib, and there is a completely mixed gathering where people are dressed completely inappropriately to be as attractive as possible — even if you are a married man or a married woman — your eyes will definitely fall on not only unmarried people but on someone else's spouse. We know that — who are we lying to? And a person may not say something, but it pollutes the mind. A person comes back changed, because he has allowed his gaze to roam around and has seen things he should not have. And by the way — this is not a men-only issue. This is a big issue amongst women as well: guarding the gaze.

Shaitan makes every woman besides your wife seem more attractive. And every husband besides your husband more attractive — that is his job. So all of these mixed gatherings — when a person goes and attends, he walks in valuing his wife, and comes out thinking he saw ten other women who are more beautiful. SubhanAllah. So who is in loss right now? Three hours gone, listening to a bunch of gossip, maybe music also, missed your salah with jama'ah, and SubhanAllah — late for Fajr because you came back home late.

And on top of that — what about our unmarried boys and girls that were taken with us? What will happen to them?

So now, when someone invites you, you have to ask yourself: am I going to harm myself or benefit myself? How about sending a gift card? How about sending a big box? No problem — share in the happiness of a person. But a person needs to see:

(A well-known principle of Islamic jurisprudence)

The most important thing is you have to protect your own deen and dunya. You cannot harm yourself. And the Prophet ﷺ said: the biggest loser is the one who ruins his akhira for someone else's dunya. He wants to have a thousand people at his event, and to make their dunya happy, I have ruined my akhira.

I know what I am saying might be bitter to some, but let us start being Umar رضي الله عنه. Charity starts in the masjid — right here. We have to start saying what needs to be said. But I told you this has to be said with wisdom and hikmah. So you do not say this to the individual who invited you. You know what type of setting it is. You know what type of parties they host. So you politely say: "I am sorry, I am honored that you invited me. Lots and lots of love and duas." And send them the gift before even the arrival of the occasion. And apologize that you will not be able to make it.

But consider — what happens to brothers who host dini talks? Ask anyone who hosts a dini talk at his home. Without even a flyer, he will get 50 people — another 10 who were not invited even show up to the summer barbecue. And he made it a dini talk. I have attended so many gatherings where the husband and wife have prepared so much food, ordered tens and tens of dishes. And SubhanAllah, they are sitting there looking at the door, wishing someone walks in. I kid you not — I have actually been in situations where maybe one person or zero people showed up.

Every single time they host a regular gathering, they have 20, 30, 60, 70 people. What happens when they bring deen? People want anything and everything besides the deen. So now you have to ask yourself: what type of people are you hanging out with?

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4833; Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378)

A man will follow the path of his friend. We talk about children and youth — "Be careful about your friends." But parents do not think about this often enough. They do not ask themselves: as a father, as a husband in your 50s and 60s — who are your friends? If your friends are people who will not show up to a dini talk, do you really want to be with them? Because the Prophet ﷺ is saying a man follows the religion of his friend — his khalil.

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4833; Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378)

So be careful who you befriend. This is the way to try it out: you want to see which friends you have? Tell them you have a dini talk at your house with dinner, and see how many people show up. Those are the people you want to befriend. The rest of the people — they want just jokes, laughter, nonsense, food. That is not brotherhood in the real sense.

If you want to be serious about the deen, this is what I am telling you: we will never be able to move forward in our deen if we continue to associate ourselves with people who pull us down. Because mashallah, we gain some level of iman when we attend gatherings like this. And then as soon as Saturday night shows up, we are with that crowd. And they bring us down again. Whatever nur we got from here, we lose it. Then you come back next Tuesday — if Allah gives you tawfiq — and many do not even make it back. The zulmah and darkness of the weekend, whatever nur was in them — they cannot come back again. But those who do make it back, they start from ground zero. Thus, every single week we are starting up from ground zero. We are not making progress — because of not what happens in the masjid, but rather what happens outside of it in our social gatherings.

This is the bitter pill for the 18-19 year olds. I was telling the students in the one-year program this afternoon: whatever nur you gain from here, you will not be able to retain it — forget about moving forward. You will not even be able to retain it if you do not have a good circle of friends once you leave from here. You are only going to be able to follow the deen equivalent to the type of friendship you have. If you go from here and find better friendships than you had previously, alhamdulillah — you will continue your studies, and you will become an amazing husband, an amazing wife, an amazing everything. But if you do not, and you go back to your old crew, within months people will even forget that you spent an entire year studying the deen. This is the power of friendship.

The Story of True Friendship

I remember my nana's brother, rahmatullah alayh, when we went to India in childhood, he told us a story. A child said, "Baba, I have a lot of friends." And so one day the dad said, "Where are you? You are always with friends — who are these friends?" He said, "I have a lot of great friends." The grandfather said, "Son, I want to see your friends. Let us go."

So he took him with him. As soon as he was walking towards the first friend's house and knocked, the mom opened the door and said, "No, he is not at home" — while the boy could see his friend was inside. He goes to the next one — he sees his friend from the backyard jumping over the wall and running. The third one he goes to — he sees his friend grabbing a motorcycle: "Brother, I am very sorry, I just have to run an errand." They went to four or five friends. By the fifth one, the grandfather said, "I have yet to meet even one of your friends. Every single one keeps on leaving." He says, "Yeah, this never happens. I don't know what's going on today."

He said, "Okay, I am not as lucky as you, who are boasting ten friends. I only have one. Let us go see him."

So he took his son. As they were going towards his friend's house — before they could even enter the driveway — the friend came running out all the way to the front entrance. And he had in one hand a sword, and in another hand a bag. And he said, "O my dear friend, what has brought you to my house, and even with your son? Here is my sword to defend you with my life, and here is my bag of dirham and coins to give whatever you need."

He said: "My dear friend, I have not come to ask you anything. I have just come to teach my son a lesson — that if you have a friend, you have one like you. And you do not want to have even ten friends who, when they see you coming with your father, run away."

This is the condition of friends today. "I have a thousand contacts on Instagram, 2,500 on Facebook." When you are in need, who is going to help you? No one. Who cares about your deen? Who cares about your dunya? Who cares about your depression? No one does. So relationships have become so useless today. The real relationship is with someone who loves you for the sake of Allah and will put whatever he has on the table for you.

Our elders also need to have such friends. What kind of friend does not mind you missing your Maghrib, while missing their own Maghrib as well? That is a horrible friend. You say he is your friend, but he is your enemy. How can you sit with someone who drinks in front of you? How can we sit with anyone who openly speaks about his haram investments? When you listen to haram being committed, eventually the filth of that haram comes into our hearts and we become desensitized to it.

So my dear friends — we need to find friends in this group here. Make your friendships based on the masjid, based on the deen, based on your connection with Allah. Where is your friend circle? In the house of Allah. Where is your friend circle? In the circles of knowledge. This is where we find our solace and comfort. No one is saying do not have a circle of friends — but have a circle of friends that will continuously remind you.

All of us should have a circle of friends that constantly messages us: "Today is Tuesday night tafseer — let us go." That person who messages you that is your best friend. And the one who says, "Let us go watch a movie" or "Let us go smoke" — how can you be a friend?

Allah says: friends will be enemies to one another on the Day of Judgment — except for those friendships that were based on taqwa.

The Third Attribute: Giving Zakat

The ones who, without stinginess, are giving their due zakat in charity. Notice here — Allah سبحانه وتعالى did not say وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِلزَّكَاةِ مُنْفِقُونَ — those who are spending zakat. Allah سبحانه وتعالى says those who are doing zakat — فَاعِلُونَ. Because if you tell someone "donate," he says, سَأَتَصَدَّقُ — I will donate. And if you tell him "donate" and he says سَأَفْعَلُ — I will do it — there is more emphasis in it. The doing part. This is why some of the scholars say فَاعِلُونَ has been brought here — not spending but rather doing — to add more emphasis.

Now, in order to give zakat, a person has to earn money naturally. So earning money is not laghw. Earning money is great. But what is the purpose of that earning money? This is the important point. A person needs to ensure that he is earning money for the right purposes.

One of the statements of the companions is:

(Attributed to 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar رضي الله عنه and others among the Companions)

The best amongst you is not the one who leaves his dunya for his akhira, nor the one who leaves his akhira for his dunya. Instead, he should use them both. Be immersed in the dunya for the sake of the akhira. Because the world runs on money — and not only this world, but the next world as well. If you want to give zakat, you have to earn. If you want to give sadaqah, you have to earn. It is all about the intention.

So dunya itself is not madhmum — not disliked. But because dunya ends up harming people, and most people do not know how to use it properly, that is why it has been spoken ill about. But dunya fi nafsihi — it is not a problem. It is how you use it.

For indeed this worldly life — dunya, the first life — will lead the steps toward the hereafter. Based on how you lead this life here is how you are going to fare in the akhira.

One of the salaf said:

Wealth is a weapon of a believer — just as you have heard that dua is a weapon of a believer. Wealth is a weapon of a believer. If you have wealth that comes from halal and you have the ability to spend it in halal — wow, that is an amazing, amazing gift.

You may have heard the famous hadith about four types of people: one whom Allah has blessed with both wealth and knowledge; one whom Allah has blessed with wealth but no knowledge; one whom Allah has blessed with knowledge but no wealth; and one whom Allah has blessed with neither. The best and most fortunate is the one who has both — wealth and the knowledge to spend it appropriately. He will go far ahead. The next best is the one who has the knowledge of how to spend money but simply does not have money. He says, "Ya Allah, if I had what this person had, I would have done what he is doing."

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2325)

The rewards will be the same. Even though he does not have, simply by wishing that he had it, the reward will be there. That is all you have got to do — have niyyah: "Ya Allah, if I had it, I would have done this."

The next category is someone who has wealth but does not have knowledge. So he has lots of money but no knowledge and tawfiq to spend it appropriately. He spends it in haram. That wealth will become a burden on him. But then there is a fourth person who does not have the money and does not know how to spend it properly either. So when he sees someone spending it lavishly in a haram manner, he says: "Man, if I had that type of money, I would have also gambled it. I would have also thrown a party like that." For both of them their sin is the same. Look at how horrible this is — he does not have the money, but he is still getting the full sin simply because of the intention. That is the power of intention. If you have good intentions, you will get the reward without even having the means. And if you have bad intentions, you will get the sin without even having the means.

Islam does not say "do not make wealth." You have to make sure is that your heart does not get into it. Just allow your hands to make the wealth. Do not allow it to pollute you. A person who has a chemical factory — he can make millions off of it. But the very same chemical, even a milligram that comes into your bloodstream, and you are gone. So you use it, you have factories and machinery and can make millions of it — but do not allow it to physically touch your body, or you are done. Similarly with wealth — making money is okay as long as it does not creep into your heart. And so by constantly giving sadaqah and zakat, as soon as you feel "I am loving this," you give it away. As soon as you see you are becoming greedy, you give, give, give so that you do not get greedy. And you will see Allah سبحانه وتعالى keep on multiplying — that is how you protect yourself.

The Wisdom of Sufyan al-Thawri on Wealth and Independence

Sufyan al-Thawri rahmatullah alayh — great scholar — had some wealth. He was in his hands playing with some coins. And then he said:

"If I did not have this money, the khulafa and the ruling family would have made me into a handkerchief — used me and thrown me." Because as a scholar, they would have tried to buy him out. They would have tried to get his rubber stamp. "We will give you 100,000 dirhams. Come sit next to me — I am the king and the khalifa. All I need you to do is just sit next to me." The khalifa sitting next to the scholar of the time signals that the khalifa is on the truth. So he said: "The leaders would try to buy us out if I did not have this money." What an amazing statement.

Then someone said to him: "O Sufyan, إِنَّهَا تُدْنِيكَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا — this money is making you closer to the dunya. Why are you enjoying this money?" He says:

"If this has made me close to the dunya, it has actually protected me from the dunya." Because now if he has the dunya, it is under his control. And if he does not have the dunya and he has needs as a normal human being, what will happen? He will be controlled by other people.

Hence that is why some of the salaf would say that it is necessary to have enough wealth that you never need to ever extend your hand in front of anyone else. In another instance it is mentioned:

Do business — for indeed you are in an era where if one of you needs money or sustenance, the first thing that he will sell off is his religion. You are living in such an era — the first thing you are going to auction off is your religion. So make sure you have enough in your account that you, Allah forbid, are never tempted to sell your religion. What amazing statements — and if this was said hundreds of years ago, what about today?

And it is mentioned regarding 'Abdur-Rahman ibn 'Awf رضي الله عنه that it is not good for the one who leaves his dunya for his akhira, nor the akhira for the dunya. Instead he should gather them both.

For indeed the dunya will allow you to reach the akhira. And do not become a burden upon people. Have enough money that you never have to ask people for help.

So the youngsters and adults who are in the business of creating wealth — remember: stay and do well. But make sure your intention is good. The intention should be: "I am going to keep my children and my spouse taken care of. I am going to educate them with the best education. I am going to give them the best experiences so they become strong Muslims. I am going to allow them to have such experiences of halal that they would never be tempted to enjoy haram experiences." If you keep on entertaining them with halal, keep on giving them good experiences — you have a buffet of all halal — why are you going to look towards the haram?

The niyyah should be: a comfortable home, take care of my parents, take care of my siblings, take care of my relatives, and of course give for my own akhira. So there is nothing wrong with amassing wealth and spending it. But the thing is the intention. The vast majority of people, when they get into it, are playing with fire — and most people end up burning themselves. So we have to ask Allah عز و جل to protect us from that.

Protecting Institutions from the Influence of Tainted Money

I want to add at this point that we talked about not being played around. One of the key things about Dar al-Salam — a very important point — is that you are all investors sitting here listening today, past, present, and future. You are all beneficiaries and investors in Dar al-Salam. The institution must remain free from the influence of money. Because they say, "Money talks." And that is true — it has the loudest voice. Anywhere, anytime you see something in politicians changing what they say, follow the money trail. So in order for a deen to remain firm and solid in any institution, we have to make sure that it is protected from tainted money, from haram money, from money with strings attached that push that institution towards that which is against the sharia.

Long term, what happens? Institutions or individuals running institutions run short on funds. You have different economic crises always happening. People may not be able to give as much as they used to. During those type of recessions, you do not want an institution to say: "We need your money at all cost — hence, even if your intentions are not exactly pure, and your understanding of the deen is not exactly in line with ours, we must take your money and change the direction of the institution to keep the lights on." Would you ever want that to happen here? That is why it is so important to make sure our institutions become financially independent, not dependent on a specific donor or group of donors.

Maybe you have a good group of religiously minded donors now — but they are eventually going to pass away. What will happen to their kids? Are they going to be on the same page as their parents? We do not know. That is why it is so important for this institution — and any other institution — to have a very strong waqf, an endowment, which constantly generates income so that literally the institution can last not a decade but decades, or forever. That our operations are not dependent on fundraising. Yes, maybe for capital projects you might need to do a fundraiser. But if an endowment is really good, maybe you would not even need that.

Endowment is basically: you raise capital — waqf — which is an Islamic concept that mashallah the non-Muslims have taken to another whole level. All the major universities of this country have very big endowments — in the billions, the larger universities — to make sure that the profits of that investment — in mutual funds, hedge funds, real estate, various financial products — take care of operations. You do not touch the capital. The profits are used for operations. And any extra profits, you invest back again. And over time that investment continues to grow.

Harvard began with one scholar, one priest, and one businessman. I think it was $250. Because Harvard was a madrasa — you know that? Harvard was a Christian seminary. That is what it was. And then it became what it is today. Right now its endowment is hovering around 40 billion with a B. The profits of that take care of operations. So this Saturday's fundraiser — whether you are going to be in person or listening online — I request you to please participate fully. It is called "Patrons and Professors" — because patrons are the people who care about long-term sustainability of the institution after you and I are gone. And professors are the ones who are teaching. Whenever I have been asked to stand up and ask someone to donate, I said: "I am doing your job. I am not supposed to be fundraising. You are — you are a businessman, you are a professional. You should be collecting this from your own friends." My job is to teach your son, your daughter, yourself. But because some people are not doing their job, all of this ends up becoming ours.

So that should be our goal within the next few years, insha'Allah — that we have an endowment set such that insha'Allah 100% of our operations are taken care of from the profits of that endowment. And then we lead the way so that others are inspired as well.

We are seeing that the numbers of giving are dropping. I have spoken to people who run different organizations and they say the same thing. People are making more than they used to before, and yet giving less. This is one of the signs of the Hour:

Stinginess will become common. Nabi ﷺ said:

"I am not scared about poverty for you. I am scared that the dunya will be opened up upon you — you will get too rich — the way it was poured open upon the previous generations. Then you will compete with one another in amassing wealth the way the previous generations did. And it will destroy you the way it destroyed them."

There was an opening of a hotel this past weekend in the Middle East. 24 million dollars was paid to one singer. 24 million dollars, paid to one singer to come for an opening of a hotel in a Middle Eastern Muslim country. Money is there. Where is it being spent? It is bringing our damnation. We are being ruined. SubhanAllah. Allahu Akbar.

No one will think it is weird. No one will speak against that. But a person will say: "Brother, why do we have to have an extra house for students? Why do we have to change the carpet of a masjid?" One president of a masjid told me: "I saw in the shoe area that one light bulb out of five was missing. I said, 'Brother, we need to change the light bulb.' People came up to him and said, 'No brother, we can work with four, we don't need five.'" That is the mentality — anything spent in the masjid is a waste. And immediately, anytime you ask someone to give in the masjid, they remember all the dying people in the world. But when they throw the $200,000 wedding, they did not remember anyone at that time. When they drive a $200,000 car, they do not remember at that time. Only when you ask them to give sadaqah — all of a sudden they say: "What about the poor people of the world? Why should we give to a masjid, a seminary, a madrasah?" This is all shaitan playing his tricks. And you and I should know this.

Allah عز و جل says to Rasulullah ﷺ: "Take from their wealth sadaqah so that you can purify them and so that you can beautify them and cleanse them through that sadaqah." Clear ayah of the Qur'an, Surah al-Tawbah. Giving sadaqah is a means of purification and beautification. And zakah literally means increase — a person is increasing his wealth and purifying his wealth and his heart. That is what Allah سبحانه وتعالى is telling the Prophet ﷺ. So if a person is going through a sickness, a disease of the heart — give sadaqah.

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 660)

Indeed there is a right in the wealth besides zakah — people have a right in your wealth besides zakah. It is not just zakah. But if today the ummah were to just give zakah, the solutions would be solved. May Allah make us from amongst those people who give zakah. May Allah allow our parents, our siblings, our spouses, all to become amongst those who calculate their zakah meticulously and give it out.

What is sadaqah derived from? Zakah is purification. Sadaqah comes from the word sidq — truthfulness. So when a person gives sadaqah, he is being truthful — he is basically walking the walk when he says أنا مؤمن. He says "I am a believer" — and his proof is giving sadaqah, because only a true believer will have the ability to give in the path of Allah. A person who is giving sadaqah is proving the truthfulness of his statement: أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ. That is what it does.

The Qur'an is a guidance for the people who have three attributes: يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْغَيْبِ — believe in the unseen; وَيُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ — establish salah; and وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنفِقُونَ — and they are spending from that which We have given them. This is, SubhanAllah, a very big topic mentioned approximately 70 places in the Qur'an.

And my beloved brothers, one of the morning and evening duas is:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2893)

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and grief, I seek refuge in You from inability and laziness, and I seek refuge in You from cowardice and stinginess. If any of us feel that we are suffering from bukhl — stinginess — I am telling you, this is going to destroy you. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1961)

A generous man is close to Allah, close to Jannah, and close to the people, far away from hell. And a stingy person is far away from Allah, far away from paradise, far away from the people, and close to hell.

The ulama have said that stinginess is such an attribute that it takes away the goodness of all your good deeds. You could stand up and pray all night, but someone outside the door says, "Can you please give me twenty dollars? I need food." And he says, "Nope." What is Allah going to say? The man spent the entire night in prayer — someone asked for twenty dollars — and he said no. Stinginess takes away the goodness of your good deeds. And what? Generosity covers up the evil of your faults. A man has horrible habits, but anyone who comes asking, he gives and gives. Imagine all those people bearing witness on the Day of Judgment: "Ya Allah, I don't know what he did at night, but he saved my day, he saved my life." SubhanAllah.

Like we talk about other horrible sins — drinking, looking at haram, and all these things — and we make dua that Allah gives us the tawfiq to repent. I want you to add to that list, from the Rasulullah ﷺ's dua: seek refuge in Allah سبحانه وتعالى from stinginess. May Allah make all of us amazing, generous people who spend without our left hand being aware of it.

The Fourth Attribute: Guarding One's Chastity

Believers are the ones who, moreover, are vigilant as to the chastity of their private parts. They protect themselves from lustful desires being fulfilled in a haram manner — except in associating with their wives, for then they are not blameworthy. Whoever seeks intimate consort beyond this, then these are the ones who are absolute transgressors — أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْعَادُونَ — they are transgressing against themselves.

Regarding war captives — this is no longer applicable. Right now the idea is that a person — naturally Allah knows that He has created within us desire and lust. But there is a place for that, and that place is with the spouse. There is a desire for money — earn it. Earn your own, do not beg. There is a desire to be ahead — be ahead in knowledge.

Allah will lift those who have been given knowledge, and those who have iman, Allah will lift them up. One of the tabi'een — he was a freed slave. He was sitting by the Ka'bah with his back to it, his feet extended, and there was a line of people in front of him waiting to ask questions. The khalifah came, doing his tawaf. He tried to cut the line — they said, "No, hey, line in the back." So when he saw this, he came back to his son and said, "My son, you have to become a scholar. Today I have been taught that power and wealth and kingdom do not give you respect the way knowledge gives you respect." Look at how the people humbly came to him — he did not ask them, he did not demand them to stand in front of him. And look at how even a khalifah was sent to the back of the line. Honor comes through knowledge.

And if a person does not have knowledge — you can be the wealthiest person — but during the time of janazah, during the time of a wedding, the most powerful people melt. They do not know how to pray janazah. They do not know anything. They are blown away, do not know what to do in front of the dead body. All their wealth did not help them.

Make sure our children are knowledgeable. And talking about janazah — make sure your son can lead your own janazah. Think about that. All of you sitting here: if you have a son, is he in a position to lead the janazah salah? Does he know enough to lead? And if he does not, there is something we need to change now.

The Danger of the Haram Glance

(Referenced in hadith literature on guarding the gaze)

Whoever fills his eyes with haram, Allah will fill his eyes with the charcoal of hellfire.

(Al-Mu'jam al-Kabir of al-Tabarani; referenced in various collections on guarding the gaze)

The glance — the haram glance — is a poisoned arrow from the quiver of Iblis. What does it mean, a poisoned arrow? When you get hit with an arrow, you suffer an injury. But if it is poisoned, then even after the arrow is removed, the poison still continues to kill you. So that is what an evil glance is — even if a person moves away from that scene or that individual, because they looked at them in a lustful manner, it is very difficult to erase the image from the mind. The harmful effects of that image will continue to lurk in a man's or a woman's spiritual heart. And unless and until a person repents from that, even if he is in sajdah in front of the Ka'bah on the 27th night of Ramadan, it will be very hard to remove that thought from the mind. The filth of that sin will continue to lurk behind and will affect the person.

Cannot get spirituality if he looks at haram. Cannot.

(Referenced in hadith literature on guarding the gaze; narrated from the Lord's words in various collections)

Whoever leaves it for My love and My path, I will allow him to taste the sweetness of iman in his heart till he meets Me. The person who guards his gaze, Allah will give him a sweetness of iman that he can taste. Today, a person cannot enjoy salah, cannot enjoy sajdah, cannot enjoy dua, cannot even enjoy looking at the Ka'bah. And why is that? It is because of the misuse of the eye.

Allahu Akbar — what should we say? We should cry tears of blood. The Haram — Allah عز و جل says:

Even the one who intends to commit a sin in the Haram — Allah says indeed We will make him taste a painful punishment. So making the intention of haram in the Haram is something punishable. A person needs to realize this.

This is the beauty of this deen. There are laws against stealing and cheating in the world. There are laws against killing. But you do not find a law anywhere in the world that is about controlling your gaze. Our deen has brought that law. Men and women have been told separately:

Lower your gaze. This is the crux of the matter. Notice the Qur'an does not say لَا تَزْنُوا — "Do not fornicate." The Qur'an says:

Do not even come close to fornication. How does a person protect himself from coming close to fornication? By lowering their gaze. And brothers and sisters — this issue is as rampant and relevant in women as it is in men.

A person today — with YouTube — there was a time when people would listen to scholars via audio. That is how it was growing up. What happened? Now everything changed. You have women listening to men, men listening to women, and also looking at them. So you have young, handsome, charismatic men, and you have beautiful women dressed in an attractive manner, giving talks. And you have people staring at the screen or at the live audience. A person is supposed to be listening to the talk of deen, allowing something to come into the heart. But when your eyes are glancing at someone who is of your age, charismatic, dressed up the way they would dress up for their husband — in front of a crowd — instead of nur, zulmah is coming to this heart.

Because anytime you do something — if you say Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim and then drink wine — is it haram? Yes. Is it kufr? No. But if you say Bismillah and drink, this is mentioned in the books as kufr. Because you are making a mockery of the deen. How dare you say Bismillah and drink when you know this is haram. So a person who does haram in sacred places or Islamic programs — in a haram manner, with a mixture of men and women, men looking at women, women looking at men — when the Qur'an clearly and categorically states in Surah al-Nur, addressing men and women separately in one of the very few places where it does so: men must lower their gaze, and women must lower their gaze.

There are times when a person needs to engage respectfully for a necessity — if a person can look down and speak, that is fine. If a person looks at someone who is not of marriageable age without a lustful glance, there may be permissibility for that. But generally speaking, what happens when you open the door? You have a bunch of 20-year-olds attending. And shaitan works in a way that even if they were sitting in public school, they know, "I am a practicing Muslim — I am not going to marry a non-Muslim girl." But when she or he is in a dini program — "MashAllah, everyone seems more beautiful, everyone seems like a good match." This is actually possibly more harmful than public school or university, because the person will not even allow that thought to come in public school. But now you have 50 girls or 50 boys, and mashAllah, now you have 50 to choose from. Everyone seems more attractive than the other. Trust me — even if they are not naturally, that is the job of shaitan.

And I am telling you things that all the youth know exactly what I am talking about. But no one is willing to acknowledge. And the ones who run programs — they know it too. May Allah guide them. This is shahwa khafiyyah — hidden desire. Shaitan comes and presents his evil thoughts in the form of nur. Like the story of Barsisa. He misleads you step by step. He does not yank you into it.

I have shared all of this with my asatidha — worldwide famous scholars, SubhanAllah — even Mufti Taqi Usmani, we have discussed this with him. And SubhanAllah, they were in absolute shock, upset and sad at the same moment, that this is what is happening in our country. That things which 40 years ago, 30 years ago would never have happened — or even 20 years ago — now become the norm. Then we know, SubhanAllah, things are really going downhill. Because there are only a few places where deen is left. You expect deen to be in the wedding halls? You expect deen to be in the offices? The place for deen is at least the masjid, the madrasah. That is where it is. If the masjid and the madrasah also loses the deen — what is left? That is what hurts us.

Let us stop fooling ourselves. And let us ask Allah for guidance — for myself, for you all, and for the ummah. Ya Allah, on this issue of protecting from haram — may Allah سبحانه وتعالى guide us all. All these scandals — how did they happen? They all start off with a glance. That is the root cause. Where do these forest fires start from? One match. One glance, and it all starts off. Be it a scholar or anyone else. It starts off with free mixing, with joking, with laughing, without proper decorum.

There is no place in our deen to giggle with the opposite gender without necessity. There is no place in our deen to rub shoulders with the opposite gender. There is no place in the deen to sit there and have a light conversation with the opposite gender for amusement. I love the principle I have heard from my teachers. When we went to open the girls' madrasa here, our teachers said — regarding those teaching the girls' madrasa: "When you are teaching, do not say things that will make your female students overly emotional. Do not make them laugh unnecessarily, do not make them cry unnecessarily." And this is from where? From the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ. He was traveling in a caravan, and there was one of the sahaba singing poetry. The Prophet ﷺ looked back at him and said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6149; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2323)

Be careful with the pieces of glass. Because these women have a soft heart — take it easy. Allahu Akbar. So when a person speaks, make sure there is no cracking of jokes unnecessarily, no inadvertent flirting. All of that happens. Because when you deviate from your course material — you throw in a joke, or you say something that makes someone cry, or someone thinks, "Oh my God, this person is so pious, so charismatic, so attractive" — done deal. And I have had married men tell me: "I am jealous and have problems with my wife because she sits and looks at a certain scholar on YouTube with so much attention and focus that I have literally never seen her listen to anything or look at me in that manner. And when I tell her to stop, she gets so defensive." I have husbands come and tell me stuff like this.

There may be khayr in it, but a lot of small hidden shara as well. And this is the era where the people who will be able to understand these fine points will start dwindling, and the people who will even speak on them will start dwindling. May Allah make you and I from those few people. Because there will always be a few people — may Allah keep us from those few who see and understand things.

Whatever I have shared with you is not from my own. It is from my elders and teachers. So if you accept the earlier part of the talk, then you should accept this as well, because it comes from the same source — the same teachers. And we expect that Allah سبحانه وتعالى is keeping them guided. It is an entire group of ulama following and repeating what our scholars of the past have said. But it is a tough time. So we have to ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to grant all of us firmness and understanding.

And if I have said something to upset anyone, please forgive me. I am not trying to hurt anyone. Allah is my witness. I am telling you what I have been taught — it is an amanah. If I do not say it, who is going to say it? This is what you have come here for — to listen to the truth. So I ask Allah عز و جل to create mahabbah, love and trust within all of us. And may He keep us connected with the righteous ulama and the ones who are on the sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ till our last breath.

Questions and Answers

How to redeem oneself from the sin of lustful desires?

You redeem yourself by doing tawbah. Istighfar. Making a firm resolve not to go back to that again. And asking Allah سبحانه وتعالى to help. One scholar who has passed away — an elder of Nizamuddin — Professor Nadir Ali, rahimahullah rahmatan wasiyyah — he would say: to cleanse the filth and the dirt of misusing your eyes, do tahajjud. That is the bleach. And of course, the phone is the biggest issue. Today some students came to me and said, "Can we give our phone to you? I will keep it in the office." Alhamdulillah — no problem, that is great. That is the best way to do it. Use a flip phone, or just come to the office and call your home whenever you need to. Even outside community members who want to benefit — especially the youth — you can come and leave it in the office. And fathers — do not ask your son why he is leaving his phone. Have some common sense. He is trying to protect himself from haram. Get him a flip phone.

What if a mother is having an irrelevant conversation with you — do you ignore that as well?

Sitting with your mother is ibadah. Unless she is doing gheeba, then you can respectfully change the conversation to something else. But just sitting there listening is also beneficial. You can do dhikr in your heart while sitting in her company.

What are the signs of stinginess?

Naturally, if someone asks for a small thing — a few dollars, not a huge amount — and a person just says no and does not want to give it.

Men dismissing what women have to say — how should women make men listen?

No woman's opinion should ever be diminished just because she is a woman. And a man's opinion should not be taken just because he is a man. You have to look at the strength of the opinion, not the gender of the one giving it. The one who has the most taqwa is the one who is most honorable. Perhaps add more logical proofs and reasoning to why you are suggesting that opinion.

How to stay away from friends with a bad influence?

Do you not all have someone who did not pick up your phone? You call them, tell them let us go out — "I am busy, I am busy." And then you realize this person does not want to hang out with you anymore. And you hopefully go after them. Same thing. You need to simply start saying "I am busy, I am not available." I know people who have actually changed their phone number because they had to start all over. So changing your phone number, constantly saying "I am not available" — that is great. As part of a complete restart.

As part of protecting the gaze — is it permissible to go to a mixed gym at less crowded hours while striving to lower the gaze?

It really depends — if you are truly lowering your gaze, listening to nasheeds or Qur'an, going at a time where there are really very few other people — then fine. But you have to honestly assess: how possible is that?

What is your opinion when a scholar says mixed events are necessary to teach youth how to respectfully interact with the opposite gender?

I say that we learn how to respectfully interact with the opposite gender all day — when we go to school, when we go shopping, when we go to the office, when we go to the airport, in the gym — everywhere. We are practicing that in 23 out of 24 hours outside. Why is it that only the masjid has to be the spot? There is no such thing as one etiquette for the masjid and a different etiquette outside. Whatever gender interaction etiquette you practice outside is exactly what you should be doing inside — and vice versa. You have 23 out of 24 hours to practice it outside. Why does that one hour have to be the practice ground?

What about matrimonial events — are they permissible?

If a person is specifically going with the need of marriage, that is something different. If it is properly done — you have profiles, someone is going through them and figuring out potential matches, and then after that you go to meet someone — that is fine and permissible. But just going for the sake of window shopping — that is not right.

Where to find a spouse whose heart is connected to the masjid?

You have to find someone who is regular in their deen. When you meet someone as a potential, ask: "How often do you go to the masjid?" Every girl who is listening — ask that future husband how often he goes to the masjid. And when people say, "I go to every masjid" — that is a red flag for me. Because that means you are not held accountable by anyone. There has got to be one masjid that is closest to you that you go to for Fajr, Isha, etc.

One person came to me — his daughter is married now — and he said, "I came to the masjid before Asr, and I would look at who had the best salah. And then I approached that family for my daughter." What an amazing story. He said: "I wanted to see which young man has the best salah." So this is something to keep in mind as well.

Is hanging out with friends on Thursday night purely for leisure permissible?

You have to change that intention. Even if it is fun, your purpose should be: "These brothers are far from their deen. I cannot just randomly invite them for Jummah or Tafsir straightaway. I need to befriend them." You have to walk, you have to be a salesman basically. Every salesperson makes sure he goes where he can make a sale. So all of us are da'i ilallah. Look at yourself — can I make a sale over here? At the end, can I say: "Hey, let us do dhikr for a few minutes"? Your goal is to get people closer to the deen. As long as what is being done in that leisurely gathering is not haram, this is okay. But the intention needs to be proper.

Things to look for in business partners

You have to look for honesty, obviously. Start off with some small business and see how they do. A partner should be such that you do not even have to write a contract — though you will — but it should be such that even if you had a contract, he would go above and beyond to fulfill your share. Just performing salah does not automatically make a person honest in business. Unfortunately, we have seen too many individuals who pray regularly but cheat. May Allah protect us from becoming like that.

About barriers in masajid for gender separation

If a person is really staying in a separate section with completely separate entrances and absolutely no intermingling — it is like the gym issue. Ask yourself honestly: is it possible? If it is possible — okay. The purpose is not the barrier itself. The purpose is that there should be no intermingling and unlawful glances. If a person has a barrier and then goes to the side of the barrier and sits there — what is the point? Purpose is not a physical barrier. The purpose is that there should be no intermingling and unlawful glances.

On the need for a matrimonial service

I agree there needs to be something set for that. But who is going to run it? If someone wants to run it — I have no problem. This is a need of the community. The aim would be to serve religiously minded, like-minded people who are looking for someone who is regular in their salah, regular in their deen, who has studied their deen. Alhamdulillah, we have these programs — the one-year program, the Tanweer intensive, the Tafeem program. These are great opportunities for people. For a person looking to get married, they should look for someone who is in one of those programs.

On carrying tales and causing fitna

If you are listening online or on-site — some people may have left in the middle. Allah is watching you. If you take a portion of the talk, cut and paste, and share it with people out of context to cause fitna — this is called namimah, carrying tales to cause harm. And Nabi ﷺ said the one who carries tales will not enter Jannah. I warn you from causing fitna. I am not calling out any specific individual or person — I am talking about the condition of the ummah and the importance of us doing what is right. You need to have hikmah. Imam Ghazali said shaitan will make you so-called "speak the truth" — that is shaitan, not malaika. And the purpose is to cause fitna within organizations, within masajid, within people. The Muslims have enough problems. We do not need you or I to cause a bigger problem. Our job is to highlight what is right and what is wrong. Now you have the wisdom and the tawfiq to do what is right.

Du'a

O Allah, there is a level of deen that Rasulullah ﷺ wants us to be at. O Allah, we are far away from that. O Allah, allow us all to climb ourselves and bring ourselves to that level that is acceptable — and not only acceptable, but that will be enough for us to get into Jannah. O Allah, save us from falling short from that level of deen, that level of taqwa, that level of sunnah.

O Allah, we are all trying, but we are very weak in all facets of our life. O Allah, bring sunnah and deen into all aspects of our life — in the masjid, outside the masjid, in school, in offices, in our business dealings, in our social dealings, at home, amongst our relatives, amongst our spouses, parents, children, and neighbors. O Allah, in all aspects of our life, allow us to follow deen. O Allah, allow us to be loyal to the deen. O Allah, save us from cherry-picking the deen. O Allah, save us from taking certain things and leaving certain things. O Allah, save us from using our mere intelligence to understand the deen. Allow us to follow the deen as explained to us by the sahaba and the earliest of scholars.

O Allah, save us from falling to the temptations of our nafs. O Allah, make us amongst those who have all the sifat of the successful believers. Make us punctual in our salah and concentrate in our salah. Make us amongst those who stay away from useless gatherings, from harmful gatherings, from bad and toxic friends. O Allah, allow us to have the very best friends. Allow all of us to have such friends that will make us remember You.

Allow our children, and our grandchildren, and our spouses, and our parents, and our siblings — all to be surrounded by righteous, pious, good people, ya Allah. O Allah, allow us to be surrounded by people who will remind us of You, and remind us of the akhira, and remind us of the deen, and will make all of us better people than who we are. O Allah, we ask You to save us from the influences of bad people, ya Allah. And those sinful people — grant them the ability to repent. Allow them to become extremely righteous, ya Allah.

O Allah, we ask You — whatever mistakes we have committed by our eyes, by our ears, by our hands and feet, by our mind, by our tongue, in terms of our wealth, in terms of any aspect of our life — whatever major or minor sins we have committed — we ask You to grant all of us forgiveness. O Allah, forgive us, forgive us, forgive us, ya Allah. O Allah, grant us the ability to truly repent.

O Allah, make every one of us cognizant and aware of the waswasas of shaitan. O Allah, save us from being duped by shaitan. Save us from becoming those who do wrong while thinking that they are doing right. As You have mentioned in the Qur'an:

That while they are misled, they are thinking that they are doing good — and hence they never get the chance to repent. O Allah, save us from ever being misled into thinking that wrong is right, falsehood is truth, and haram is halal. O Allah, allow us to always remain steadfast on the traditional understanding of the deen as passed down for the past 14 generations — as understood, explained, and preserved by the righteous ulama of every generation. O Allah, allow us to always remain steadfast on the deen that was followed by the sahaba. O Allah, save us from any and all innovations and deviations. O Allah, save us and our children and progeny from any and all isms.

O Allah, shaitan is doing a full-blown attack via humans and via jinn, polluting the minds of young and old. O Allah, none can be saved besides the one whom You choose to save. Ya Allah, do not allow anyone who has any connection with this majlis on any night to be deprived. Anyone who comes here even for a moment, listens to even one dars, sits for a few minutes — in the past, present, or future — allow us all to become from the su'ada and the lucky ones. O Allah, remove our names from the list of the wretched ones. O Allah, no one can save us from wretchedness besides You. O Allah, we ask You to keep iman and sunnah strong in our progeny.

O Allah, all those who are of marriageable age and who are looking to get married — from Your infinite treasures, provide for each one of them a righteous, pious, caring, and loving spouse, ya Allah. O Allah, all those men and women who are trying to remain chaste — O Allah, assist them, assist them, assist them in remaining chaste. From Your infinite treasures, provide for them avenues to remain far away from haram, and allow them to remain clean and pure, ya Allah. Those who are involved in haram — allow them to repent.

O Allah, those who are married — do not allow shaitan to have a share in their marriages. Protect them from the influences of shaitan. All those men and women who are fighting with one another, struggling and hating one another — ya Allah, protect our marriages from the influences of shaitan. O Allah, strengthen our marriages. O Allah, improve the relationship between parents and children. Create an environment of love and mahabbah between the men and women of the home, ya Allah.

O Allah, allow our sustenance to be halal. Allow all of us to become generous. Allow all of us to pay our zakat. Allow us all to be punctual in all our good deeds. O Allah, Ramadan is less than two months away. We ask You, O Allah, allow all of us to start preparing for the blessed month of Ramadan by reciting Qur'an daily, by doing dhikr daily, by giving out charity daily, by being focused to welcome this blessed Ramadan.

O Allah, allow our upcoming fundraiser to be absolutely accepted in Your eyes. Allow it to become a means of hidayah for thousands of people. Allow the majalis of dhikr and ilm to invigorate the people. O Allah, allow whatever sadaqah and zakat is being collected to be mubarak and blessed. And allow all the financial and spiritual needs of Dar al-Salam to be fulfilled.

O Allah, protect this institution — and all other institutions — from the evil attacks of shaitan, from the evil attacks of nafs, from the evil attacks of hasad, from the evil attacks of sihr, from the evil effects of our sins. O Allah, we ask You to protect this institution and all the other institutions — ya Allah — through angels, through the good deeds, through the crying of the righteous pious ones, through the innocence of little children, and through the barakah of elderly people, ya Allah. O Allah, we ask You to protect all of our dini institutions, dini jama'ats, khanqahs, masajid, and madaris across the globe, ya Allah.

O Allah, there is no one besides You who can help us, no one besides You who can protect us. We ask You to protect us, protect all the staff here, the volunteers here, the students here, the families of the teachers and the staff and the students, all the musallis, all those who attend any of the programs, and all the patrons and donors of the past and the present and the future.

Those who have passed away — fill their graves with nur. Ya Allah, the Qur'an that has just been recited — grant its full reward to Muhammad Shaukat Ali sahib. Ya Allah, for his sake, the Holy Qur'an that has been recited by his family — ya Allah, for their sake, accept it. Grant its full reward. Ya Allah, all the prayers that have been made — for his family, and for all the others who are sitting here and listening — accept all these prayers.

And all the others, ya Allah — those who have passed away — for their sake, accept all these prayers. Ya Allah, make their graves a garden of paradise. Ya Allah, shower them with the rain of nur. Ya Allah, make their questions and answers easier. Ya Allah, make all their good deeds a means for their protection. Ya Allah — their fasting, their prayers, their charity, their good deeds, their recitation of Surah al-Mulk and Surah al-Sajdah — for all their good deeds, ya Allah, make it a means for their protection. Ya Allah, save them from the torment of their graves. Ya Allah, make their graves a garden of paradise. Ya Allah, open a window of paradise in their graves.

جَزَاكُمُ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا