Comforting Broken Hearts

Comforting Broken Hearts

By Mustafa Khattab

I bear witness that there is none worthy of our worship except Allah. And I bear witness that Muhammad is the Seal of the Prophets and the final Messenger to all of humanity. Whoever Allah guides, there is none to misguide. And whoever Allah leaves to stray, there is no one to guide to the right way.

A True Story: Brother Basim and the Hajj

This is a true story that happened with a friend of mine back in 2007 and 2008. He told me this story. He's in South Carolina. My friend's name is Basim — a Palestinian brother, one of the finest people you will meet on the planet, brother Basim.

He said one day after Salatul Fajr, they had a tajweed halaqa in their local masjid. He was leaving and he saw this older brother who used to volunteer in the community. So brother Basim asked him, "Have you ever been on Hajj?" And the older brother said, "Wallahi I wish, but I cannot afford it."

So brother Basim smiled and he said in his lovely Palestinian dialect, تكّل عليك خير إن شاء الله and he left. In the background, brother Basim started talking to some people in the community and he said, "Guys, look — this older brother has been serving the community for years. We need to honor his services and send him for Hajj."

So everybody donated whatever they could. And of course, a small footnote — if someone does not have money, they don't need to go for Hajj. But they wanted to honor the services of this brother and do what we call in Arabic, Jabrul Khatir — putting a smile on someone's face.

So brother Basim said they needed to raise about a certain amount of money, and within two to three weeks they raised double that amount. And most of the people who donated, they didn't even know the brother. They just wanted to do something good, put a smile on his face, fi sabee lillah.

So they collected the money, they gave it to him, they booked flights and the hotels and the ihram and everything. He left, he went, he did his Hajj — Mecca — then he visited Rasulullah in Medina. Then when he came back, brother Basim, this Palestinian brother, he took a group from the community and they went to welcome the brother and congratulate him in his house.

So the new Hajji, the brother who just came from Hajj, he told brother Basim, "Wallahi, I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for me. This is like a dream came true. Every day I'm making dua that Allah will give me Hajj, but I didn't know how — I didn't have the money — but Allah made it happen through you."

He said, "I wanted to bring you a gift from Mecca and Medina, but I didn't know what to bring you. Like miswak, one riyal — not enough. Misbaha, prayer beads, five riyal — not enough. Ja'e Namaz, a sajjadah carpet, ten riyal — not enough." He said, "The only thing that I could do — I stood in front of the Ka'ba after Salatul Jumu'ah during Hajj and I made this dua. These words came out. I said: 'Ya Allah, this Palestinian brother Basim made me happy in this dunya. Please, please, Ya Allah, make him happy in Jannah.'"

And everyone in the room started to cry.

What is Jabrul Khatir?

So today's khutbah is about this amazing concept we have in Islam called Jabrul Khatir. Jabrul Khatir — putting a smile on people's faces — especially in these difficult times that everyone is going through, whether it's finances, raising kids in this country, the political situation around us. You take a look at the news every morning, you get depressed for the rest of the month. So what do we do with each other? Do we make each other more miserable? Or do we try to put a smile on people's faces? This is part of the deen. Jabrul Khatir is part of the deen.

There is a hadith in Sahih Muslim that Allah will hold us accountable on Judgment Day if we fail to put a smile on people's faces in difficult times. What is the proof? Allah will say:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 45, Hadith 2569)

It's a long hadith. The short version: Allah will say to each one of us on Judgment Day, "My servant, I fell sick and you never visited Me. I was hungry and you never fed Me." And the servant will say, "Ya Allah, how can I feed You? How can You fall sick —

Allah will say, "Don't you know that your neighbor, your brother, your classmate — they were hungry, they were sick, they were in need. You could have helped them, but you failed to do so." And that person will be in big trouble — for failing to do Jabrul Khatir, giving someone a helping hand.

Al-Jabbar: The Name of Allah

Jabrul Khatir has something to do with one of the names of Allah — Al-Jabbar. Al-Jabbar has different meanings. One of them: the Supreme. Allah is Al-Jabbar, the Supreme. He has the ultimate plan. No one can go against the will and the mashi'a of Allah. You can make plans all you want — as a person, as a family, as a country, as a president. You can make all the plans you want. At the end of the day, أنتَ عبد — you are a servant of Allah. His will will prevail. Allah has the ultimate plan. If you don't believe me, read the story of Musa and Fir'awn. He made all the plans — whose plan prevailed at the end? Read the story of Yusuf and his brothers. They made plans — whose plan prevailed at the end? Allah's.

The second meaning of Al-Jabbar: Imam Ibn al-Qayyim says, in the Arabic language, when someone falls down and breaks their arm, they put a cast for them. Those in the medical field call it jabira — a cast. Jabira. This jabira comes from Jabbar, the name of Allah. So Imam Ibn al-Qayyim says, Allah — to those who are going through a difficult time, those who are persecuted, when everyone is turning their backs on them — Allah to them is like a cast to a broken arm.

So the people of Palestine, the people of Yemen, and the people of Sudan — when everyone is turning their backs on them, who is taking care of them? Al-Jabbar.

And you will see this in your personal life. When you go for a final exam — let's say you are a medical student, you are going for a final exam, you are pulling your hair out, you become bald, "I'm doomed, I'm gonna fail." But you do your part, you make dua, you pass with straight A's and you become a doctor. Who took care of you in that difficult moment? Al-Jabbar.

When a sister goes to the hospital for childbirth — especially the first child, which is the most difficult — and the sister is in pain, she is crying, most of them, if not all of them, say the same thing: "I ain't having any more kids. Khalas, I'm done. This is gonna be my first, my last, I'm done." And she ends up delivering a healthy baby, and she ends up with a bunch of other kids. Allah, Al-Jabbar, made it easy for her.

The same is true when someone falls sick in the family, or someone dies — you feel devastated. Al-Jabbar will take care of you.

Jabrul Khatir in the Quran and Sunnah

When you read the Quran and the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, you see a lot of Jabrul Khatir. Why did Allah reveal وَالضُّحَى and أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ? Jabrul Khatir of the Prophet ﷺ — when they said, "Oh, Allah ditched him, Jibreel is not coming to him." Allah revealed these surahs to give Jabrul Khatir to the Prophet ﷺ, to put a smile on his face and joy in his heart.

The Man from the Ansar and His Son

In the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, one of the most amazing examples:

(Sunan al-Nasa'i and other collections)

This man from the Ansar used to come to the masjid of Rasulullah ﷺ with his son — his son was like a year old, two years old, this lovely age. They say he brought him to salah, he brought him to khutbah talks, he brought him all the time. He hugged him and kissed him — he loved his son.

At some point, this man from the Ansar, from Medina, stopped coming to the masjid completely. So Rasulullah ﷺ missed him and said, "Where is so-and-so? I don't see him anymore. I haven't seen him in like a week, ten days — what happened?" They said, "Ya Rasulullah,

His son died. He got so depressed he's not leaving the house. He doesn't want to see anyone."

Rasulullah ﷺ went to his house for aza'. And he wanted to cheer him up — it was a difficult time. So Rasulullah ﷺ said to him, "Wouldn't you be happy, when you come on Judgment Day, only to find your son standing in front of Jannah, waiting for you? He will take your hand, walk you inside — no questions asked, you'll go straight to your palace in Jannah."

And the man smiled and said:

"I am very happy with this, Ya Rasulullah." So Rasulullah said, "This is what Allah has done for you and your wife. He took your son away — he is now waiting for you in front of Jannah — and you will go inside, if you are patient."

Some of the ulema say this reward will also apply to people who have miscarriages. If you have a miscarriage in the family and you are patient with Qadarullah, Allah will give you this reward in the Akhira as well.

Dr. Abdul Kalam and the Burned Biryani

Another example — those of you who come from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, will relate to this story. Dr. Abdul Kalam, the former president of India, told a story. He said one day he was coming from school with his siblings — brothers and sisters — and he noticed that smoke was coming out of the kitchen window. It turned out his mom was cooking something — she was cooking biryani, she was cooking roti.

She burned the food. SubhanAllah, they were sitting around the table eating, and his father had a smile on his face. And his mom said, "Sorry, I burned the biryani or the roti. I made a mistake." And his father just smiled and said, "Jazakallah khair," and he left. Khalas, no problem.

So that night, Dr. Abdul Kalam said, before he went to bed, he went to his dad's bedroom and said, "Dad, please tell me the truth — did you really like the burned biryani?" And his father said, "Son, wallahi, when I saw the burned biryani or the roti, I was about to throw up. But I just remembered that your mom stood for a long time in the kitchen to make this food for us. We eat good biryani every day — what is the big deal?" And he said something very remarkable: "I don't know of anyone who died from eating burned biryani or shawarma or anything, but I know some people who died from depression because someone broke their heart with an irresponsible word or something they said." He said, "No problem. Alhamdulillah."

This is very amazing. In some other places, if the food is burned, World War III will break out — the least they will do is طلاق طلاق طلاق, khalas. No. Jabrul Khatir. Leaving a smile on people's faces.

We All Have Our Battles

Wallahi, just look around you — look right and left. All of us come from different nationalities. Each one of us, brother or sister, old or young, is having a battle, a fight in life that nobody knows anything about. It could be you got laid off from your job. You've been married for a long time and you don't have kids. Your family back home is going through a difficult time. Health problems. Someone got diagnosed with cancer. You never know. So this is why Jabrul Khatir is very important in Islam.

This is why Allah, at the beginning of Surah Al-Ma'un, says:

The people who deny the Akhira — they are the ones who oppress the orphan, they do bad things to people. Then Allah spoke about salah. We know that Islam stands on two feet: your relationship with Allah and your relationship with people. So make sure that you keep both inshallah. Watch your words when you talk to people. Because wallahi, sometimes we break people's hearts and we are not even paying attention. So we need to be careful with what we say.

Umar ibn Abdulaziz and the Visitor

I'm going to finish with this story. It happened with Umar ibn Abdulaziz, rahimahullah — the grandson of Umar ibn al-Khattab, radiyallahu anhu. Umar ibn Abdulaziz was the khalifa. He fell sick one day, and someone came to visit him.

This man said to Umar ibn Abdulaziz, "What's wrong with you? What is the problem?" And Umar ibn Abdulaziz said, "Wallahi, I have this problem. I have this pain. It has been going on for a long time." And the man said, "SubhanAllah — this is so bad. Hopeless case. My father died from the same thing. My mother died from the same thing. My cousin, my neighbors — everyone is dying from this. You're going to die — hopeless case." And Umar ibn Abdulaziz was very disappointed. He said to the man, "What is your problem? I thought you came to cheer me up. You broke my heart." And he told him something amazing in Arabic: "Ya zalim, if you visit the sick, don't talk about the dead. And when you leave my house, don't come back."

So we ask Allah to make us from those who put a smile on people's faces and joy in their hearts. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.

wa ashhadu an la ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah. Wa ashhadu anna sayyidana Muhammadan sallallahu alayhi wasallam abdullahi wa rasuluh. Arsalahu rabbuhu rahmatan lil alameen.

How Can I Do Jabrul Khatir?

You ask: how can I do Jabrul Khatir? How can I put a smile on people's faces and joy in their hearts? This question was presented to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. I'm going to give you the summary from Bukhari and Muslim. The Prophet ﷺ said, the best thing that you can do as a Muslim is Jabrul Khatir:

(Al-Mu'jam al-Awsat lil-Tabarani; also referenced in Sahih Ibn Hibban and other collections)

"The most beloved people to Allah are those who are most beneficial." And the man said, "How can I benefit other people?" Rasulullah ﷺ said, "Help them financially — if someone is in debt, give them sadaqa or something." And the Sahabi said, "What if I don't have money?" Rasulullah ﷺ said, "Help them physically — cut their grass, shovel their snow, carry their groceries, help them physically." And the man said, "What if I'm too old and I cannot do it?" Rasulullah ﷺ said, "Help them verbally, with your tongue —

Teach them something good." The man said, "What if I don't have knowledge?" He was trying to make it difficult for Rasulullah ﷺ. And Rasulullah ﷺ told him something remarkable — I want you to print it, frame it, and put it in your house:

(Al-Mu'jam al-Awsat lil-Tabarani; also referenced in Sahih Ibn Hibban and other collections)

"If you are not able to benefit, at least don't harm — and this will be a charity for you."

One Example to Conclude

I remember in Canada, we had this masjid and they had an election to elect a new board. So this brother wanted to become president — nobody wanted to vote for him. He ended up getting one vote from his wife, because he said, "If you don't vote for me, talaq, talaq, talaq." So she voted for him. He ended up with one vote and he lost big time. And he was mad with everyone. So when it was time to expand the masjid or build a school and they were raising funds, he didn't donate — I get it. He was going around telling everyone that the board members were thieves — لصوص. "Don't donate." He didn't benefit, but he was causing harm. So let us not be like that.

Closing Du'a

We ask Allah to give us the best in this life and the best in the life to come.

May Allah make it easy for our brothers and sisters in Palestine, in Syria, in Yemen, in Sudan, in Iraq, in Kashmir, and all Muslim lands — يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ. May Allah accept our good deeds, give us ikhlas, and may Allah forgive our sins and our shortcomings.