Nurturing Children: The Power Of A Righteous Environment

Opening

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ، الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَعَلَى عَاقِبَةِ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ، أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَأَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

صَدَقَ اللَّهُ الْعَظِيمُ

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

Or as he — peace and blessings be upon him — said.

Umm Sulaym's Gift to the Prophet

Respected brothers, elders, mothers and sisters — when the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — migrated from Mecca to Medina, the Ansar rushed to the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him. The residents of Medina Munawwara all came to meet Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — and many of them came and presented various gifts to the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — out of the love that they had for him.

From amongst those who came to meet the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — was Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her. Umm Sulaym was her title; her real name was Rumaysa, or according to some narrations, Ghumaysa with a ghayn. She came — and she is the mother of Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him — with her son Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — to Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — and she said:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

She said: "O Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — every single person from amongst the Ansar, from the residents of Medina, has come and given you some gift. As far as I'm concerned, I don't really have anything to present before you. I'm not a very wealthy woman." She said: "O Rasulallah, I have nothing to give you, I have nothing to present before you — except for this son of mine, Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him. Please take him and allow him to remain in your khidmah, in your service."

Lesson One: Seeking the Best Environment for Your Child

There are so many lessons to take from this one story of Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her.

Number one, we see how Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her — was seeking out a good environment, good company for her son. And not just good environment and good company, but the best of all company, the best of all environments. She's enrolling her son in the madrasah of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — dedicating the life of her son for the khidmah of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — for she understood that the mind of a child at that age — Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — at this time was nine or ten years of age — is very, very vulnerable.

A child at that age, his mind — he hasn't seen much of the world, so whatever you feed him, that is how he will grow up. If a child is brought frequently to the masjid, if he is brought frequently to the gatherings of ulama, to the gatherings of ilm, of knowledge, then he will grow up in that manner. He will grow up with that love of the masjid, with the love of scholars, with the love of knowledge, inshallah. And even later on in life, if he happens to drift away — perhaps in high school, perhaps in college — when now he's no longer so punctual with his salah, or he becomes involved in various sins, he will always have that memory which was embedded within him at a young age — of the masjid, of the house of Allah. That good environment that he was in, that his parents put him in at a young age, that will leave a lasting impact on him.

But on the other hand, a child who is brought up completely detached from the masjid, completely detached from scholars, has no Islamic background whatsoever, isn't given any Islamic education — the whole day he's just sitting on the computer, on the iPad, on the phone, watching movie after movie, video after video, scrolling through social media — now that is what is going to be embedded within him. And then later on in life, that same parent wants to bring that child to the masjid at age 14, 15 — what love is that child going to have? What motivation is he going to have to come to the house of Allah?

Whatever is put within him at a young age, what he is grown up with, what he is nurtured with — those are the qualities, that is the mindset, that is the worldview that he will develop, and that will remain with him for the rest of his life. Hence we see Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her — from a very young age, nine or ten years of age, she's sending her son Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him — to the company, to the sohbah of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him:

"O Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — please allow my son Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — the good fortune of serving you for as long as you want."

Lesson Two: Investing What You Have for the Sake of Allah

The second point that we can take away from this incident of Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her — is that notice she wasn't a very wealthy woman. She didn't have much in terms of monetary funds, in terms of wealth, in terms of the things of this world — she didn't have much at all. In fact, her husband was Malik ibn Nadr — Anas ibn Malik's father is Malik ibn Nadr. When Malik ibn Nadr found out that his wife Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her — had accepted Islam, he became extremely upset. He said, "How can you accept the deen of Muhammad — peace and blessings be upon him?" He abandoned his wife, he abandoned his child Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — and he fled to Syria. When he later passed away, Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her — at this point was most likely a single mother, and all she had was this one child of hers — this is her most prized possession, Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him.

But what did she do with that child? She invested that child. The one thing that she had, she invested it for the sake of Allah. She could have sent that son of hers to go and work in the fields — the Ansar, the residents of Medina, many of them had orchards, they had farms, they were farmers by profession. So she could have sent him to the fields to go and work, to earn some revenue for the house. She could have sent him to the marketplaces, where he could have been in the company of the tujjar, of the traders. He could have learned how to buy and sell things, how to do business, and he could have brought home a handsome revenue — a lot of profit for him and for his mother. But she sacrificed all of that. She said: no, that's not what I want for my son. Rather, I want this son of mine to be in the khidmah, in the service of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him.

And now once she made this sacrifice for Allah, Allah opened up both the dunya and the akhira for him — and for her also. And this is the promise of Allah, as many of us would have read today in Surah Al-Kahf:

Allah mentions that those who believe in Allah, wa amilu salihat — those who do righteous deeds, those who make investments for the sake of Allah — it is the promise of Allah, the guarantee of Allah, that Allah will not allow for such an individual's efforts to go to waste. Whatever investment a person makes with Allah, definitely — a hundred percent — Allah will multiply it and give it back to him.

When it comes to the investments of this world, there is always a hope for profit. A person makes any investment — invest in a house, invest in gold, invest in stocks, whatever it may be — when he makes that investment, his mindset is: "I hope that I am going to be able to receive a handsome profit from this investment. I hope in the years to come this investment of mine will be profitable." But there's also a risk involved; there's a possibility that he will suffer a loss. However, when a person invests with Allah, then it is a hundred percent profit, zero percent loss. There's no such thing as a person investing with Allah and then suffering a loss. It's impossible. Any investment a person makes with Allah — definitely, guaranteed — it is the promise of Allah, the declaration of the Quran:

Allah will not allow for a person's investments to go in vain, to be wasted. A hundred percent, Allah will multiply it — Allah will give back far better.

The Character of the Prophet as Witnessed by Anas

So look at Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her. She's giving her son Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — she's investing Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him — for the khidmah, for the service of the deen, for the service of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him. And for the next ten years — an entire decade, up until the passing of Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — was always in the khidmah, in the service of Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him. Hence he earned the title of Khadim Rasulallah — the servant of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him.

Later on in life he used to mention himself:

He said: "For ten years, for an entire decade, I served the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him." And he himself says:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

He says: "The Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — had the best of all character." Understand what this statement means — this is a testimony that is coming from a khadim, from a servant. Generally it is the khadim, the servant, who receives all the frustration, all the anger that a person has. Who does he take it out upon? He takes it out upon the servant. The servant is the one who normally has to suffer the most, because he is in a position where he just has to serve the person whom he is serving — he doesn't have any authority of his own. So it's very easy for a person to abuse his servant.

But over here you have a servant — you have Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — testifying: "In those ten years that I served the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — let me tell you: Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — had the best of character." And then he goes on to mention — what was the character? What did the character of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — look like?

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6038; Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

He said: "In those ten years — an entire decade — not once did the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — even say uff to me." Uff in Arabic is just the slightest, slightest form of annoyance that a person can express. Hence in the Quran, Allah mentions with respect to parents:

"Don't even say uff to them" — meaning don't even show them the slightest amount of disrespect. Now Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — as a khadim, he is saying that in ten years, Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — never ever even said uff to me. And not once did he say, "Oh Anas, why did you do this?" or "Why didn't you do this?" He never ever rebuked me. He was never ever stern with me. Always the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — dealt with Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him — with care, with love, with compassion, with kindness, with softness.

The Story of the Errand

One day Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — says: "The Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — sent me to go and take care of a particular errand." He says:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

"I said, 'I'll go' — Oh Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — I'm ready, I'll take care of it and I'll come back." He said: "I genuinely intended to go and fulfill this errand of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him." But then as he was going, he happened to pass by the marketplace and he saw a group of kids — they were playing. And he himself was very young, perhaps ten, eleven, twelve years of age at this time. So he said: "As I passed by and I saw these children playing, I also started playing with them."

So time went by — he's playing with the children while Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — is waiting. So he gets worried: "What happened to Anas — may Allah be pleased with him? I sent him to go and fulfill this errand of mine and he hasn't come back." The Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — goes and starts searching — where is Anas ibn Malik? He comes and he sees Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — playing with all the other children. Imagine how we would react — we send our child, we send our younger sibling to go and do something, and then hours later we see them just playing around with the neighborhood children. How upset, how angry would we be? "Didn't I tell you — go, get this — you were supposed to come back a long time ago, what are you doing?"

Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — says:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

"All of a sudden I felt somebody was sort of massaging my neck — he had placed his hand over my neck. I turned around and I see the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — and he was smiling. He said, 'O Unais!'"

He didn't call him Anas — he called him Unais, which is ism tasweer. It's a very gentle, very loving, very affectionate way of addressing somebody. He said: "Oh Unais — oh my dear, oh my beloved Anas — did you go where I told you to go?" Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — said he felt so bad:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

"Oh Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — I'm going to go immediately!" Immediately he went and fulfilled the errand of Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him. So this was the character that the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — was displaying.

There are so many, so many stories of the khidmah of Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — that he did for Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him. Just last night I was looking through one book — it was titled One Hundred Stories of Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him. A hundred stories the author has gathered, and there are so many more in the books of hadith. When you see this beautiful relationship of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — and Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him —

Lesson Three: Earning the Du'a of the Prophet

Through his khidmah of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — he earned the du'a of Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him. Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — made du'a for him:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6334; Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 82)

"O Allah, increase Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — in his wealth, in his children, and grant him a very, very long life — and bless him in whatever You have given him." Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — didn't just say, "O Allah, give him abundance" — but rather he said, "O Allah, give him barakah also in whatever You have given him."

And hence, Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — lived up until the age of 103. He passed away in the year 93 after hijrah. He was ten at the time of hijrah, so you add the ten to 93, you get 103 — 103 years of age — may Allah be pleased with him. You look at his children — he himself says that he had over a hundred children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren in his own lifetime that Allah had blessed him with. You look at his wealth — people's gardens would give harvest once every year. They would make effort the entire year on their plantations, on their farms, and then once in the year they would reap the benefits. Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — his garden:

Every year twice it would produce harvest — so he would get double what everyone else was getting. All of this was because of what? It was because of the barakah of the du'a of Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — for him.

And this was not a du'a that he requested from Nabi — peace and blessings be upon him — but rather it was a du'a which he earned from the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — through his khidmah. It's one thing that you request for a du'a — you request your teacher, you request your parent: "Can you please make du'a for me?" But it's another thing that you do them a favor, you do them an act of kindness, and then from their heart they make du'a for you. That du'a is far more powerful. That du'a is far more readily accepted in the court of Allah.

Summary of Lessons

So these are some beautiful lessons that we can take away from the life of Anas — may Allah be pleased with him.

Number one, we see how Umm Sulaym — may Allah be pleased with her — had this concern for the tarbiyah, for the upbringing, ensuring that Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — was in the best of all company, in the best of all environments.

Number two, we see how she invested whatever she had. She didn't have money, but she had a son. She invested him for the sake of Allah.

Number three, we see how Anas — may Allah be pleased with him — earned the du'as of the Prophet — peace and blessings be upon him — and where that took him in life.

May Allah grant us the ability to follow in the footsteps of Anas ibn Malik — may Allah be pleased with him — as well as the noble Sahabah — may Allah be pleased with them all. Ameen, ya Rabbal 'Alameen.

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