Surrounding Yourself with Good Friends - Qari Zakaullah Saleem

Khutbah: Surrounding Yourself with Good Friends

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ

Amma ba'd: Indeed the most truthful of speech is the speech of Allah, and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad, peace be upon him. The worst of matters are newly invented affairs, every newly invented affair is a bid'ah, every bid'ah is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.

The Difficulty of Practicing the Religion

My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam, when it comes to practicing the religion of Allah, many of us — and especially the youth — find it very difficult to practice the religion of Allah consistently and frequently. For instance, one may start praying his or her five daily prayers for a number of weeks and then they give up and they find it difficult to keep it up. And some others do want to practice the religion of Allah but they do not know where to start from, and they find it very difficult to start practicing — to start praying five times a day, to start abandoning haram, to stop watching and seeing haram and listening to haram. They find it very difficult.

What is the reason for this difficulty? There are many, many reasons. I would like to highlight only one of those reasons — and this is the reason that is established by the Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah, peace be upon him — and this is a very strong reason. The reason is that when you have bad companions and bad friends, they make it very difficult for you to practice the religion of Allah.

Your companionship — the people that you hang around with and the people you befriend with — they are the ones who develop your character, your akhlaq, and your practice of the religion of Allah. If you have good people around you, they will definitely help you to practice the religion of Allah. They will help you to establish your five daily prayers. They will help you to have good akhlaq and good character. They will definitely help you to seek knowledge and to develop yourself in a positive way. But when you are surrounded by bad companions and bad friends, they are the ones who waste your time, they destroy your life, and they lead you astray. And that is why it becomes very difficult for many people to practice the religion of Allah, or even after starting the practice of the religion of Allah, they find it difficult to keep it up.

The Hadith: A Person Is on the Path of His Friends

The Prophet, peace be upon him, has said in a hadith reported by Imam at-Tirmidhi and Imam Ibn Majah on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him — and this is one of the hadith that is considered a special miracle that our Prophet, peace be upon him, was granted by Allah; he, peace be upon him, would speak very few words but those words contain large and broad meanings, and this is one of those examples:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4833; Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378)

"The person is on the path, on the religion, on the way of his friends. The type of friends he has — that is the type of person he is." As it is said in English: birds of a feather flock together. So when you have good people around you, you will follow them. If you have bad people around you, you will follow them.

The person is always on the path of his friends. If your friend is the one who loves the religion of Allah, you will love the religion of Allah. If your friend is the one who is regular in his five daily prayers, you will become regular as well. But if, on the other hand, you have bad friends — those who commit sin, those who commit crimes and other types of sins — you will develop the same type of character, the same type of bad qualities. That is why Rasulullah, peace be upon him, said: "And one of you must be careful who he befriends with."

Befriend Only the True Believer

The Prophet, peace be upon him, used to encourage his companions to befriend with people who are pious and righteous — the people who practice the religion of Allah. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said in a hadith reported by Imam Abu Dawud and Imam at-Tirmidhi, on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, may Allah be pleased with him:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4832; Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2395)

"Never befriend except the one who is a true believer" — and obviously the true believer is the one who practices the religion of Allah, the one who loves the religion of Allah, the one who establishes his five daily prayers, the one who has good akhlaq and good character. لَا تُصَاحِبْ إِلَّا مُؤْمِنًا — and then he, peace be upon him, said: "And make sure your food is not eaten except by the one who is pious." Meaning, whenever you offer food and you invite someone — invite good friends. Try to be around those who are good in their character and akhlaq and those who practice the religion of Allah.

The Parable of the Musk-Seller and the Blacksmith

The Prophet, peace be upon him, gave a beautiful example of a good companion — a righteous companion — and the bad companion. He, peace be upon him, said in a hadith reported by Imam al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim, on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Musa al-Ash'ari, may Allah be pleased with him:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2101; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2628)

"The example of a righteous and good companion and the example of the bad companion is that of the person who carries musk and perfume, and the other one is the person who blows the pair of bellows." He, peace be upon him, then explained: the person who carries musk, the person who sells perfume — if you befriend with him, first and foremost, because you are his friend, he will give you something as a present and gift; he will give you perfume as a gift. Or the other option is that you will buy something from him — he is the one who sells perfume, so you will buy something good; you will buy perfume from him. And even if you do not buy perfume from him and he does not give you perfume as a gift, but you are befriending him, you stay with him, you sit with him, you are a friend to him — he, peace be upon him, said: while you are in his company you will always find a good, nice smell.

As for the bad companion, he, peace be upon him, said: the one who blows the pair of bellows — when you sit with him, when you befriend with him, he will burn your clothes, because he is blowing in the fire and the sparks of the fire will come onto your clothes. And even if you stay a bit far away from him, yet you befriend with him — he, peace be upon him, said: while you are in his company, as long as you are in his company, you will continuously find a bad, disgusting smell from him. And this is the example that the Prophet, peace be upon him, gave with regards to having good friends and bad friends.

The Best of Friends

The Prophet, peace be upon him, was asked by his companions: "Who amongst our friends are the best ones?" The Prophet, peace be upon him, said — and this is a criterion, a standard for us — he, peace be upon him, said: "The best friend is the one that whenever you see him, whenever you look at his face, he reminds you of Allah." Whenever you look at his appearance, his clothing, his character, his speech — whenever you look at him, he reminds you of Allah. Then he, peace be upon him, said: "The best friend is the one that whenever he speaks, he increases you in your knowledge." Whenever you are in his company you learn something from the religion of Allah; you increase your knowledge always. Whenever you are with him you increase your knowledge; whenever he speaks you learn something new from him. And then he, peace be upon him, said: "And a good friend is the one that when you are in his company, his actions and his deeds remind you of the Hereafter."

My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, we need to look around. We need to look at who we befriend with. If you are having good friends, then thank Allah and try to increase your number of good friends, because the pious and righteous friends are those who always help you to increase your knowledge, increase in the practicing of the religion of Allah. Befriend with someone who practices the religion of Allah. Befriend with someone who seeks the knowledge of the religion of Allah. Befriend with someone who loves the Sunnah of Rasulullah, peace be upon him. Befriend with someone who practices the Sunnah of Rasulullah, peace be upon him. Befriend with someone who is regular in his five daily prayers. Befriend with someone who has good akhlaq and good character. Befriend with someone who carries the knowledge of the religion of Allah so that you continuously benefit from him. The Prophet, peace be upon him, encouraged us to love one another, to befriend with one another for the sake of Allah.

The Saying of Malik ibn Dinar

Malik ibn Dinar, one of the pious Salaf, used to say: "When you are in the company of righteous and pious people and they make you carry rocks and heavy stones, it is better for you than to be in the company of those who are wicked and sinners and hypocrites and disobedient to Allah and His Messenger, peace be upon him, while you are having sweets with them." Although being in the company of the pious and righteous is a difficult job — and in reality, wallahi, it is very difficult to find pious and righteous and sincere friends nowadays.

You have so many friends on your social media. You look at your Facebook and you get happy that you have over 1,000 friends. But ask yourself: how many of them are going to truly benefit you when you are going to leave this dunya, when you are going to be in your grave, and when you stand before Allah on the Day of Judgement? Someone who likes your post and shares your post — you think they are your true friends, and you get upset with those who do not like your post and consider them not good friends. This is not the criterion, this is not the standard that our religion taught us.

Allah says in the Quran: the friends on that day — the Day of Judgement — they will become enemies to one another. Your friends will become enemies to you on the Day of Judgement. This is a statement of Allah. There is only one exemption: those who are pious and righteous — they will definitely help you, they will assist you, they will benefit you on the Day of Judgement. But as for those who are not practicing the religion of Allah, no matter how many friends you have in your list — in your mobile phone, in your contact list, on your social media — they are not going to benefit you at all on the Day of Judgement. Rather, they will turn into your enemies on the Day of Judgement.

As for those whom you love solely for the sake of Allah — you befriend with someone because he is a person who loves the religion of Allah, who practices the religion of Allah, someone who always advises you with something good — they will help you in this dunya, and they will definitely assist you on the Day of Judgement.

The Story of Abu Idrees al-Khawlani and Mu'adh ibn Jabal

Abu Idrees al-Khawlani, one of the great Tabi'i, says: once I entered the Masjid of Dimashq and I found a person who was sitting in the Masjid, and there were many people around him within the Masjid and they were having discussions on various topics. Whenever they would differ on something they would refer back to him, and he would answer their question and they would be content with his answer. He says: I was amazed by his personality and his status amongst his friends, so I approached the people around him and asked who he was. They said: he is the companion of Rasulullah, peace be upon him, known as Mu'adh ibn Jabal.

Abu Idrees says: I left the Masjid that day. The next day I tried my best to come into the Masjid very early before Salatul Dhuhr. I came early into the Masjid. فَوَجَدْتُهُ حَاجَّرَانِي — when I entered the Masjid I found this companion of the Prophet, peace be upon him — Mu'adh ibn Jabal — he was already in the Masjid. He had preceded me and arrived in the Masjid before me. فَوَجَدْتُهُ — I found him praying; he was performing some Nawafil. When he completed his Salat, I approached him and I said: "Are you Mu'adh ibn Jabal? Are you the companion of the Prophet, peace be upon him, known as Mu'adh ibn Jabal?" He said: "Yes."

Abu Idrees says: I told him, "I love you for the sake of Allah." Mu'adh said: "Are you sure? Is this true? Are you sure you love me solely for the sake of Allah?" He said: "I love you solely for the sake of Allah." Mu'adh said again: "Are you sure you love me solely for the sake of Allah?" Abu Idrees said again a second time: "Yes, I love you solely for the sake of Allah." Then Mu'adh asked him a third time: "Are you sure you love me solely for the sake of Allah?" He said: "Yes, I do love you solely for the sake of Allah."

Then Mu'adh said: "If this is the case, then receive this glad tidings. I heard the Messenger of Allah saying: Allah has said:"

(Muwatta' Imam Malik, Book 51, Hadith 16; also reported in Musnad Ahmad)

"My love is definitely confirmed for those who love one another solely for My sake. My love is confirmed for those who see and visit one another solely for My sake. My love is confirmed for those who sit with one another solely for My sake. My love is confirmed for those who spend on one another solely for My sake."

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: on the Day of Judgement, where there will be no shade in the field of Hashr, Allah will grant shade to certain types of people. And one of those people who will be granted shade on the Day of Judgement will be two individuals who loved one another solely for the sake of Allah — whenever they got together, it was solely for the sake of Allah, to benefit one another for the sake of Allah, and whenever they departed from one another, they left with that love for the sake of Allah.

The Regret of the Wrongdoer on the Day of Judgement

My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, befriending with someone who is good, someone who has good akhlaq, someone who practices the religion of Allah, benefits you in this dunya and will definitely benefit you on the Day of Judgement. But as for those who are bad companions and bad friends — they do not only destroy your life of this dunya; rather, they will destroy your Hereafter as well.

Allah has told us this reality in the Quran in Surah al-Furqan, when He says:

"That day, the wrongdoer — the oppressor, the zalim — someone who oppressed himself by disobeying Allah, by not practicing the religion of Allah, by not being regular in his five daily prayers, by not avoiding haram — that day, the zalim, the oppressor, the wrongdoer, will bite on his hands out of regret. He will say: 'Woe to me! I wish I had taken my path with the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him. Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so-and-so as my friend.'"

You will regret on that day. If you befriend with gangsters, if you befriend with thugs, if you befriend with criminals — you will regret on the Day of Judgement. And even before that day, you will regret definitely in this dunya. How many people, how many youth, have destroyed their life because of being friends with thugs and gangsters and criminals? Have mercy on your own soul in this dunya, before you expect Allah to shower His mercy on you.

The person will regret on that day, saying: "He is my friend, he is the one who led me astray after the remembrance of Allah had come to me. I knew the Book of Allah. I knew that I had to perform five daily prayers. I knew that I had to stay away from haram. But because of this bad company, this bad companion, this bad friend, I was led astray." And Allah says: on that day, Shaytan will forsake you — Shaytan is not going to help you.

Practical Advice: Choosing Good Companions

That is why, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, it is very, very important to be in the company of those who are practicing the religion of Allah. You should always befriend with those who practice the Sunnah of the Prophet, peace be upon him. Many of the Muslim men find it difficult to come to the masjid for the congregational prayer, and especially for Salatul Fajr. I advise you: one of the best ways to wake up in the morning and to pray your Salatul Fajr in the masjid is that you befriend with someone who is regular in his congregational prayer of Salatul Fajr in the masjid. Befriend with them.

You find it difficult to learn the Book of Allah — befriend with someone who has the knowledge of the Book of Allah. Sit with him, travel with him, stay with him, stay in his company so that you will learn the Book of Allah. You find it difficult to be regular in your five daily prayers — befriend with someone who is already regular in his five daily prayers. That way, whenever Shaytan whispers in your mind that you are tired and you cannot perform Salat, your friend will approach you and he will encourage you to stand up and perform your Salat. This is how important it is to have good friends.

Advice to Parents

And lastly, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, I would like to advise the parents — because we have many young people and youth today — I would like to advise the parents that it is your responsibility as a father and mother to encourage your children, encourage your son and daughter to befriend with those who are good in their akhlaq, to befriend with those who are good and those who excel in their education at school. Encourage it — it is your responsibility as a parent.

It is your responsibility to keep an eye on the friends of your son and daughter. And if they befriend with someone who is good in his akhlaq, someone who excels in his education at school, you must encourage your children. And whenever you spot anything wrong — whenever you spot that your son or daughter is befriending with those who are not good in their akhlaq, those who are bad in their character — you must warn them. Try your best to stop it as soon as possible, before it is too late and then you regret and you ask for help but never find any help.

Du'a and Closing

We ask Allah to give us tawfiq and ability to practice the religion of Allah constantly. May Allah allow us to be surrounded with those who are good in their akhlaq and character and practice of the religion of Allah, so that they help us to increase our knowledge and our practice of the religion of Allah, so that they benefit us in this dunya and they benefit us on the Day of Judgement, so that Allah allows us to be together under His shade on the Day of Judgement.