Sh.Ammar Alshukry

Commanding Good and Forbidding Evil: Responding to Common Arguments

We face resistance. And so in this brief khutbah, I wanted to share: what are the common arguments against this idea of giving advice? What are the arguments that we commonly hear back? And what are the things that we can do to make our advice more accepted and acceptable?

The Obligation to Address Evil

Number one, it is absolutely an obligation. The Prophet ﷺ says:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 186)

Rasulullah ﷺ says: Whoever of you sees an evil, then let them change it with their hand. And if not that, then with their tongue. And if not that, then with their heart. And that is the lowest level of faith.

The lowest level of faith is that a person engages evil with their heart — that when someone sees something that is wrong, they dislike it, they hate it in their heart. And what is understood from this hadith is that if a person sees that which is evil, that which is disliked by Allah, that which the sharia has forbidden, being participated in, and that person feels no resistance — that person feels like it is absolutely fine, or absolutely normal, or maybe even good — then that person has no iman left in them.

That is the weakest level of iman: to hate something with your heart. And so Allah praises this ummah for its ability to engage evil. Allah says:

Allah says: You are the best ummah brought forth for mankind. Why? Because you command the good, and you forbid evil, and you believe in Allah.

Common Arguments Against Giving Advice

Argument #1: "Worry About Yourself"

The first argument — when you see someone doing something wrong and you advise them, a common response is: "Worry about yourself. Just worry about you. Don't worry about me."

Allah has obligated on me to worry about you. When the Prophet ﷺ says that whoever of you sees an evil, then let them change it with their hand, and if not that then with their tongue, and if not that then with their heart — that is an obligation that he is putting on the individual to correct the collective.

And the first idea of this notion spreading in the Muslim world happened during the time of Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه. And Abu Bakr stood on the minbar — as al-Tirmidhi and others report — and he said:

He said: "You are reading this verse and misunderstanding it." O you who believe, عَلَيْكُمْ أَنفُسَكُمْ — worry about yourself, deal with yourself, upon you is yourself. لَا يَضُرُّكُم مَّن ضَلَّ إِذَا اهْتَدَيْتُمْ — you will not be harmed by those who are misguided if you are guided.

And a way that verse could be understood is: as long as I'm okay, as long as I'm here at Jumu'ah, it doesn't matter who's not here. As long as I come to the salah, it doesn't matter who doesn't come. As long as I obey Allah, it doesn't matter who disobeys Allah. And Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه is correcting this understanding.

And he says: I heard Rasulullah ﷺ say that if the people see munkar وَلَا يُغَيِّرُونَهُ — and they do not change that munkar — Allah may envelop all of them in His punishment. Because when the punishment comes, it doesn't differentiate.

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2168; reported by Abu Bakr al-Siddiq رضي الله عنه)

The Prophet ﷺ says in the hadith reported by Aisha: ثُمَّ يُبْعَثُونَ عَلَىٰ نِيَّاتِهِمْ — and then on the Day of Judgment, people get resurrected according to their intentions. But as far as the dunya goes, the punishment comes to everybody.

And so I am obligated to challenge munkar even as other people are engaged in it — if it is brought in the public sphere. I'm not required to go into people's private domains, into people's houses and what have you. But what I see done publicly, I am required to engage at whatever level I have the capacity for.

Argument #2: "Don't Judge Me"

A second argument that you hear is: "Don't judge me."

Well, I'm not judging you. Number one, I'm not the one who said drinking alcohol is haram. I'm not the one who made weed haram. I'm not the one who made this action haram or this action obligatory. It's Allah عز وجل. It's His Messenger ﷺ. That judgment is coming from Allah.

Allah says:

By your Lord, they do not believe until they make you, O Muhammad, the judge between them in what they differ in. And then they do not find in their hearts any resistance to what you have decreed. وَيُسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا — and they submit, a complete submittance.

Belief — Allah negates it from people until they are willing to submit to the rule of Rasulullah ﷺ, the judgment of the Prophet ﷺ. But not only that — until they submit to the judgment of the Prophet ﷺ with no resistance. And they submit a complete submittance.

But there's another question: which of us is not judged every day? Are you not judged at work? Are you not judged at school? Are you not judged by people left and right? And are you not required to make judgments of people left and right? So why is it then that the only time we have this visceral reaction to judgment is when it comes in the religious domain — when it comes to the halal and haram? Are people not judged in the social sphere every single day?

And so the reality is, we are judged. Let us not have the judgment of Allah or His Messenger be the judgment that we despise the most.

Argument #3: "We Are All at Different Levels of Iman"

A third argument — and the one that we are least accepting of — is when people say that they are at a different level of iman, that we are all at different levels of iman.

And the answer to that is: true. We are all at different levels of iman. When we are required to challenge munkar, that is something that we should pay attention to. And what that requires of us is to change the tools in our toolbox.

And so I don't treat the person who is a new Muslim like the person who knows better. And I don't treat the person who I have rapport with like the person I don't have rapport with. I don't treat the person who is near to me like the person who is distant.

One of the beautiful examples of this is al-Hasan and al-Husayn. Famous story. Al-Hasan and al-Husayn are young men at the time — and they may have even been boys. And they see an old man who is making wudu' wrong. And so they recognize that if they walk up to this elderly man and say to him, "Uncle, you are making wudu' wrong," he is going to be offended and his ego will be harmed, and the benefit of correcting his behavior will not have actually actualized.

And so what do they do? They come to him and say: "Uncle, me and my brother are both claiming that we make wudu' better than each other. So can you please judge between us and tell us which one of us makes wudu' better?" And he says, "Sure, no problem." They put him in a position of authority even though he is the one who knows the least. But they are changing the tools in the toolbox.

And so al-Hasan performs wudu' perfectly and the man is watching. And then al-Husayn performs wudu' perfectly and the man is watching — he is learning from them. And so they say to him: "Which one of us did wudu' better than the other?" And he said: "Both of you did wudu' perfectly. It is your uncle who has been doing wudu' wrong."

They were able to teach him without teaching him. They were able to benefit him without harming his ego. And so the reality is, the way that we approach people is incredibly important.

How to Make Our Advice More Beneficial

So briefly, I just want to share some ways that we can make our advice more palatable for people and insha'Allah more beneficial.

1. Sincerity

The first and most important ingredient is sincerity. If I am sincere in advising someone and they are sincere in receiving that advice, then insha'Allah ta'ala every single time the benefit will happen. If both ends are sincere to Allah, people will benefit. But if one is not sincere, then you have problems.

So what does sincerity look like? What are the qualities of sincere advice? One of the qualities of sincere advice is that I remove myself from the equation. I want that person to benefit even if it is not me who is benefiting them.

A lot of times people will say: "I'm trying to give my son advice, I'm trying to give my father advice, I'm trying to give my cousin advice..." and yet you know that they don't really listen to you. For whatever reason, there is an impediment between them benefiting from your advice in particular. But I want them to receive that advice.

If I'm sincere, then all I care about is that advice reaching them even if it is not from me. And so, who is the person that has my father's ear? Let me talk to him and have him talk to my father. Who is the person who my wife listens to? Who is that favorite shaykh that this person listens to? I'll forward them a video of them talking about the same thing — maybe it will benefit them. I remove myself because it's not about my ego, it's not about me being the one to tell them. It is about them benefiting.

2. Don't Forget the Good

The second is not forgetting the good. A lot of times when we talk about advice, we simply think about what people are doing wrong — not realizing that if we had encouraged them in doing good things, many times we would have negated that bad behavior or that evil behavior before it ever started.

I once went to a masjid on a Saturday morning for Salat al-Fajr, and I found them doing an awards ceremony. It's a random Fajr on Saturday morning and they were doing an awards ceremony for an 11-year-old kid, because he had come to the masjid for 6 months for Fajr on the weekends with his dad. For 6 months, this child had been coming on the weekend with his father. And so the masjid, the imam, and that first row — there weren't that many people there — but they did an awards ceremony. They gave him a certificate, they took pictures, people gave him candy, things like that.

And so I want you to think about this: you're rewarding this 11-year-old for coming to the masjid. You are celebrating the good that he is doing before you wait until he's 13, 14, 15 years old and he stops coming to the masjid — and that's when all of a sudden you become concerned about his presence. You celebrate the good that they are doing so that it is positively reinforced, so that you curb the need for evil behavior at any point in time.

You celebrate that sister who is wearing hijab — and we're talking about hijab insha'Allah ta'ala tonight — you celebrate that sister who is wearing hijab before you start criticizing her when she takes her hijab off. That you fill people with feelings of goodness, you fill people with positive reinforcement, with confidence insha'Allah ta'ala — that these attributes that you love become rewarded by them.

The Prophet ﷺ was the master of this.

• Bilal ibn Rabah — "Tell me what you do, because I heard your footsteps in paradise."
• Abu Musa al-Ash'ari — "I heard your recitation last night. You have been given a flute from the flutes of David."
• Abu Talha al-Ansari — "I saw that Allah was amazed at what you did with your guests last night."

Rasulullah ﷺ is constantly praising his companions for the good that they do so that it only encourages them to do more of that good. And so one of the important ingredients with regards to advising is that you don't forget the good that people do and make all of your focus on the bad that people do.

A lot of times parents make that mistake. If the only time their children become noticeable is when they're doing things that are bad, then guess what — that child is learning that the only way to get attention from my parents is to do bad things. Because when I get all A's on the report card, nobody cares.

3. Be Private in Your Advice

Number three is to be private in your advice. Al-Shafi'i رحمه الله says:

He says: Speak to me alone if you want to advise me, and spare me from public recommendations — for public criticism is a type of censure that's not of my persuasion. And so if you defy me and disobey my words, don't be mad if you meet the same equation.

Privacy gives people the opportunity to protect their ego and to save face. So anytime you have the ability to pull someone to the side — but you don't make it online, you don't make it in front of people in the living room — as best as you can, if you can pull someone to the side and give them that advice privately, it just removes one more impediment. It removes the impediment of ego. As best as you can.

4. Gentleness

And number four — and the last one we'll mention — is gentleness.

One of the scholars came to Harun al-Rashid and said: "I have some harsh advice for you, so bear with me." And he said: "No, I'm not going to bear with you. You're not going to give me harsh advice." He said: "Because Allah sent someone who is better than you to someone who is worse than me."

Allah said to Musa: Go to Fir'aun — he has transgressed. So speak to him:

Go to Fir'aun — he has transgressed. So speak to Fir'aun with gentle words. Perhaps he will remember, and perhaps he will fear Allah.

He says: Allah is commanding Musa and Harun to speak to Fir'aun with gentle words — perhaps he will remember and perhaps he will fear Allah. So if Musa and Harun are being told to be gentle to Fir'aun, then aren't we more deserving of showing gentleness to our brothers and sisters?

We ask Allah to allow us to hear the speech and follow the best of it.

Du'a