Sh.Kamal Elmekki

People's Attitudes Towards Death

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon His trustworthy Messenger and upon his family and companions.

Today we are going to talk about people's attitudes towards death. When it comes to death, almost everyone fears death — and that is natural, to fear dying. Then there are some people who hate death, hate the idea of dying. And there are very few others who actually look forward to it.

One of the great scholars, someone asked him and he said: why is it that most people hate death, or that people hate the idea of dying? And the Shaykh answered him. He said: if someone spent his entire life preparing to live and die in one place, and then suddenly overnight he is uprooted and taken to another place where he doesn't have friends or people or work, source of income, or a place to stay or a car — would he look forward to going to that place? And we are going to come back to this idea again, insha'Allah.

Allah tells us: every soul shall taste death, and on the Day of Judgement you will be paid in full recompense. In Surah Qaf, Allah says:

"The stupors of death have come in truth — and this is the thing that you are trying to escape."

People hating the idea or fearing the idea of dying, and trying to escape death. So we are talking about the types of people who love death — meaning not suicidal or having mental issues — but meaning they look forward to the idea of meeting Allah. And that's why you find the early Muslims saying things that sound strange at the time of death.

One of the early Muslims said:

"Welcome, death."

Umar ibn Abdul Aziz — they said when he was on his deathbed, he suddenly said: "Welcome to these faces that are neither human nor jinn." Why would he look forward to seeing the angels, or the angels of death?

Bilal, radiyallahu anhu, the companion, said:

"Tomorrow we meet our beloved ones — Muhammad ﷺ and his companions."

So what is it that makes a person look forward to death, to meeting death? And in reality, they are actually looking forward to meeting Allah, as the Prophet ﷺ told us in the hadith:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6507; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2683)

"Whoever loves to meet Allah, then Allah will love to meet them. And whoever hates the idea of meeting Allah, then Allah hates the idea of meeting them."

This is a big deal. Because if we're sitting here right now and we hate the idea of meeting Allah, then right now, Allah above His throne hates the idea of meeting us on the Day of Judgement.

How Do We Reach That Level?

So how can we get to that level and become from that small group of people? There are a number of things.

The First: Being Unattached to the Dunya

The whole idea is the person is preparing and planning to live as if he's living forever on this earth — so he will hate the idea of leaving this earth. That's why the Prophet ﷺ gave us this advice in a hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari. The Prophet ﷺ said:

"Be in this world as if you are a stranger or a traveler."

When you're traveling, you only take what you need for the trip and you don't become attached to things — no matter what good bargains, good deals, how available, how abundant — you don't become attached.

To give the analogy: if you're traveling from one part of the country to another here in America, and then on the way you see free furniture — brand new, free furniture — will you stop? You won't, because there's nothing you can do with the furniture; you cannot strap it on top of your car. You see "next exit — free appliances" — can you do anything with that? But if you see "free gas next exit," it helps you on your journey. "Free food next exit" — it helps you on your journey. The analogy is excellent, because the traveler only takes what they need for that journey.

So he says: live in this world like a stranger or like someone who is a traveler, and the traveler will only take what he needs for the trip and nothing else.

Uthman, radiyallahu anhu, the third khalifa, in his speech — short but very wise words — he said: "Indeed Allah gave you this world so you can use it to seek and ask for the akhira." That's why Allah gave you this world — not to become attached to this world and want to live in it forever.

And you see this pattern with the righteous who lived before us. Abdulrahman ibn al-Aswad was known for being a devout worshipper, known for his khushu' — his focus in his salah — and he was famous for his taqwa. So on his deathbed, he began to cry. The people sitting with him told him: "What makes you cry? You are known for your khushu', for your salah, for your ibadah." So he said: "I'm not going to be able to pray anymore and I'm not going to be able to fast anymore." And he continued to recite Quran until death came to him.

Another, on his deathbed, cried. So people thought he was crying because he was going to miss his children, his family, his loved ones. He said: "I'm not crying because of that. I'm crying because I'm going to miss qiyam ul-layl."

How can someone get to this level — where on their deathbed they're crying because they're going to miss praying at night in the middle of the night? And rightfully so that he would cry, because he's saying: "For thousands of years I will not be able to make one du'a for myself. For thousands of years, until the Day of Judgement, I will never once be able to say أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ or لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ or make any dhikr of Allah whatsoever — for thousands of years." So yes, I'm crying because I'm going to miss qiyam ul-layl — standing for hours at night, asking Allah for His forgiveness — that's never going to happen again for thousands and thousands of years. So that's why he cried — not because he's going to miss family.

What we see the pattern is: they were using the dunya to get al-akhira.

Yazid al-Riqashi was on his deathbed and he cried, and he started to say:

"Who is going to pray on your behalf, O Yazid, if you die? And who is going to fast for you? And who is going to ask Allah's forgiveness for you from the sins?"

That's why he was crying on his deathbed — because he can't do that anymore and no one else is going to do it on his behalf. And he continued to make dhikr of Allah until he died.

So the common factor that we see is that they were unattached to the dunya, but they were attached to the acts of worship with which they gain a good akhira — a good next life. So the first thing: being unattached to the dunya.

The Second: Doing Good Deeds and Expecting Reward from Allah

The second characteristic of people who look forward to meeting Allah is that a person actually looks forward to meeting Allah and does good deeds expecting good reward from them — expecting reward from that, the deeds of his continuance.

This is Abdullah ibn Idris — he was from the righteous and from the early Muslims. When the pangs of death became difficult upon him, his daughter cried. So he tells her:

"My daughter, what is making you cry?" She said: "I am afraid for what you are about to face — from death and the grave and the questioning and the Day of Judgement." So he tells her:

"My daughter, don't cry. I have completed the Quran cover to cover in this house four thousand times — all of it in preparation for this moment right now."

He finished the Quran four thousand times — cover to cover — just for that moment. So using and expecting their good deeds and expecting good reward in front of Allah.

And there are so many others. One of them — his name was al-Qaqa' ibn Hakim — he says: "I have been preparing for death for thirty years." And if someone every waking hour is just preparing for the time when they die, how will they feel when it's time to die — as opposed to someone whose whole life has been trying to escape the idea of dying and meeting Allah?

Amir ibn Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr was on his deathbed and he heard the adhan. So he said: "Take me by the hand — take me to the masjid." They said: "To where?" He said: "To the masjid." They said: "In this condition?" He said: "Subhan'Allah — I hear the caller to prayer and you don't want me to answer?"

"Take my hand." And they took him to the masjid and he prayed one rak'ah and he died in his sujood.

Another, on his deathbed, heard the adhan. So he said: "Carry me to the masjid." They said: "You have an udhr — you have an excuse in front of Allah." He said: "Subhan'Allah — for 30 years I've been making du'a to Allah to die in salah. Now that I'm dying and on my deathbed, you want me to not go there? For 30 years this is what I've been asking Allah for."

So we see that they were using their dunya — using their time on earth — for good deeds, preparing for the akhira.

The Third: Having Hope in Allah's Mercy

The third is having hope in Allah and having hope in the mercy of Allah. Because there is no way that someone who thinks Allah is not merciful looks forward to meeting Him. It's only the people who truly understand that Allah is merciful and have hope in His mercy that would look forward to meeting Allah.

That's why Ibn Mas'ud, the companion, radiyallahu anhu, on his deathbed said:

"O my Lord, I used to — during my life — fear You. But now at this moment, I just have hope in You. I have hope in Your mercy."

And the Prophet ﷺ entered upon a young man at the time of his death. The Prophet ﷺ asked him about his situation. The young man said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 983; classified as Hasan)

"By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I am hopeful in Allah, and at the same time I am afraid because of all my sins."

And then listen to the response of the Prophet ﷺ. He said:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 983; classified as Hasan)

"These two things — fearing your sins and still having hope in Allah — they are not combined in the heart of a believer in a moment like this," meaning at the time of death, "except that Allah will give him what he is hoping in" — meaning the mercy — "and He will make him secure and safe from what he is afraid of" — meaning his sins.

I say these words of mine and I ask Allah the Great for forgiveness for myself and for you from all sins — so seek His forgiveness, for indeed those who ask for His forgiveness shall prosper.

The Analogy: What Are You Building for the Akhira?

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon His Messenger, upon his family and all of his companions.

So we said: those who look forward to meeting Allah are the ones who are not attached to the dunya, and then they are the ones who do good deeds hoping and expecting reward with Allah and in the akhira, and they are the ones who have hope in Allah's mercy and in His forgiveness.

So going back to the question that was asked of the scholar — why is it that most people hate death (not fear death, which is natural, but why do they hate death?) — he gives that analogy. If someone just graduated, just got engaged, just landed a very good and well-paying position, just purchased their new house and a brand new car, and they are just about to start their life — and then suddenly at night someone knocks on his door and says: "We are going to move you to Tennessee or to Kentucky." Will they look forward to going? "No — you have to leave tonight. I don't know anyone there, I don't have work there, I don't have a car there, my fiancée is here, my house is here, I don't know anything and have anything in Tennessee."

Whereas — if you will bear with this analogy — if someone is in America and let's say their papers didn't work out, they are undocumented. So they start working under the table and every time they get paid — living in very poor conditions, eating poor quality food, not dressing nicely or anything — but every time they get a paycheck, they send it overseas. Every time they get a paycheck, they send it overseas. Then he sends to his mother or his parents: "Buy me a plot of land." And he keeps working and sending them money. "Build me a house on that plot of land." Working and sending money. "Buy me a brand new car and park it in front of my new house." Then he tells his mother: "Find me a wife." He is engaged now. And he keeps sending money. "Put it in my account."

And then one day immigration catches him and they say: "We are going to send you back to where you came from." How is he going to feel? How will he feel? He will look forward to it! "I am sick and tired of delivering pizzas for you! I have a brand new house and a brand new car, I have money saved up, and I have a brand new wife waiting for me — and now you are going to send me there for free!"

And it is exactly the same thing. People who are working and planning things for their akhira — if someone, as the Prophet ﷺ told us, prays 12 rakat between the night and day, meaning the 2 rakat before Fajr, the 4 before Dhuhr, the 2 after Dhuhr, the 2 after Maghrib, the 2 after Isha — that is 12 — if you pray these 12 rakat between the night and day, Allah will build a palace for you in al-Jannah.

If you say سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ وَاللَّهُ أَكْبَرُ وَلَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ — the scholars say in any order — Allah will plant a tree for you in al-Jannah. And we know from the hadith that the trees of al-Jannah are so huge that you will travel a distance and you are still under the shade of one tree.

So a person today in his mind: "I built a palace and I planted 2,000 trees." Tomorrow he builds another palace and he planted 5,000 trees. In their mind they are planting trees, they are building palaces — and they are working hard, they have hope in Allah's mercy, they are making a lot of istighfar, they are trying to stay away from the sins. Why wouldn't this individual look forward to death?

Leave Whatever Makes You Hate Death

The scholars said:

"Anything that you do and it causes you to hate dying — whatever it is — leave it." Someone smokes cigarettes and he doesn't want to meet Allah because he smokes cigarettes — and that's a sin — they don't want to meet Allah. They said: leave it. Anything that makes you hate the idea of dying — any deed you are so ashamed of or you feel so guilty from that it makes you hate the idea of meeting Allah — get rid of it. Cigarettes, music, looking at haram, whatever it is, gatherings where there is backbiting — all these things make people feel guilty and make them feel distant from Allah. So they said: these kinds of things, give them up, and that will make you from those who look forward to the idea of meeting Allah. And if you love to meet Allah, Allah will love to meet you.

Du'a and Closing

We ask Allah to make us of those that love to meet Him and that He loves to meet us. We ask Allah to make us of those who recognize the truth as a clear truth and follow the best of it, and to make us of those who recognize falsehood as a clear falsehood and abstain from it. We ask Allah to not make the world bigger than us, nor our knowledge, nor our fate to be Hell. We ask Allah to make for this nation an order of righteousness in which the people of His obedience will be honored, in which good is commanded and evil is forbidden. O You who hear the supplication — O Allah, send blessings and mercy upon the Prophet ﷺ and upon his family and his companions, all of them.

And stand up for your prayer.

Wa min Allahi al-tawfiq. Al-Fatihah.