“How the Prophet ﷺ Built Confidence" with Shaykh Ammar AlShukry

How the Prophet ﷺ Built Confidence

Allah says in His noble Book, after seeking refuge from Shaytan the accursed:

And He also says:

And I bear witness that Muhammad ﷺ is His slave and His messenger and His perfect worshipper.

Bilal on Top of the Ka'bah

The 8th year of the Hijrah, Rasulullah ﷺ returns to Mecca — the city that kicked him out and kicked out his companions. And he comes back with an overwhelming army of 10,000.

And as they enter into Mecca, a city that had surrendered, one of the companions separates from the crowd and climbs on top of the Ka'bah and begins to call the Adhan. And as people watched from their windows and saw the man who was now standing on top of their greatest symbol — their greatest religious symbol, their greatest economic symbol, their greatest political symbol, the Ka'bah itself — some said, "Alhamdulillah that our fathers died before they saw the day where a black man would stand on top of the Ka'bah."

But it is an amazing image that Bilal ibn Rabah رضي الله عنه is coming back to a city where he was a slave. He's coming back to a city where he was tortured. He's coming back to a city where he was told time and time again that if he was killed by his master on any given day, that his blood was cheap and that he was worth nothing.

There would be no hashtag for the death of Bilal, there would be no Human Rights Watch, there would be no Amnesty International, there would be no mobilization for his death. And what gave Bilal then the courage and the confidence to come back to that same city and place their structure that they revered so much — the Ka'bah — underneath his feet? Undoubtedly, to proclaim not their supremacy, or the supremacy of the Quraysh, but rather the supremacy of Allah when he says, اللهُ أَكْبَر، اللهُ أَكْبَر.

What gave him that confidence? And when you reflect on the seerah, you see that it wasn't just Bilal who experienced that transformation. Rasulullah ﷺ did it with Ammar ibn Yasir, the Prophet ﷺ did it with Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, the Prophet ﷺ did it with many of the companions who were considered to be the undesirables of society. He was able to transform them and make them into leaders in every field of human endeavor.

And so when you look at the methodology of the master murabbi ﷺ and you see how he was able to infuse confidence in these individuals — and when we are a community that needs confidence — I wanted to look at just one ingredient. And that ingredient is that Rasulullah ﷺ would not allow for a Muslim to be belittled, ever.

The Hadith on Belittlement

Rasulullah ﷺ says in a hadith:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Hadith 6219)

The Prophet ﷺ said: "Don't envy one another, don't undercut one another, don't belie one another" — until he says — "the Muslim is the brother of the Muslim. They don't belie them, they don't surrender them, they don't turn their backs on them" — and then he says — "and they don't belittle them." And then he says, التَّقْوَى هَاهُنَا — "Taqwa is here." He points to his chest, in your heart.

And then he says:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Hadith 6219)

"It is enough of an evil that a person belittles their Muslim brother." If you noticed, he mentioned belittlement in this hadith twice.

It is enough of an evil that you belittle your Muslim brother. Meaning, if you had a wonderful day — you prayed Fajr on time today, you came to Jumu'ah early, you prayed all of your salawat, you read Surah Al-Kahf, you're thinking, "Today is an amazing day" — Rasulullah ﷺ said: if the only thing that you did wrong today is that you belittled your Muslim brother, بِحَسْبِ امْرِئٍ مِنَ الشَّرِّ — it is enough of an evil for you.

It is enough of an evil that you call your brother stupid. It is enough of an evil that you belittle someone because of their background. It is enough of an evil that you belittle your Muslim brother.

The Prophet ﷺ is trying to raise a community of people who are confident. He's trying to have an ummah that takes off. And you can't take off — you can't have individuals that take flight — if we're always breaking each other's wings.

Abu Dharr and Bilal: Race as a Source of Belittlement

And so you'll see time and time again that the Prophet ﷺ would reject this concept. One of the most obvious reasons people are belittled is because of their race and their ethnicity. It's one of the easiest things that you can do — you look at a person and you mock where they come from.

Abu Dharr Al-Ghifari رضي الله عنه once called out to Bilal ibn Rabah and said, "Ya Ibn As-Sawda'" — O son of a black woman. And so when Bilal came and complained to Rasulullah ﷺ about this, the Prophet called Abu Dharr and said to him:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 30; Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Hadith 6220)

He said: "Are you blaming him because of who his mother is?" Did anybody get to choose who their mom is? Did anybody get to choose their ethnicity? Did anybody get to choose what country they're from? So the Prophet ﷺ said to blame someone because of their mother — to criticize someone because of their mother — "You are a person who has in you ignorance." That is ignorant. And today it is ignorant. Anytime a person, whether in public or in private, belittles someone because of where they come from — that is ignorance.

Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه doesn't defend himself like some of us would — "Ya Rasulullah, but no, no, he is the son of a black woman. I'm not lying." No. But what's the intent behind it? And so the Prophet ﷺ corrects Abu Dharr and Abu Dharr apologizes to Bilal.

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: Appearance as a Source of Belittlement

Another reason why we belittle one another is because of the way that we look. A person who's too tall, people mock because of how tall he is. A person who's short, they mock him because of how short. A person who's big, a person who's small.

One of the companions who was known to be very frail and very small was Abdullah ibn Mas'ud. He was a small shepherd boy in Mecca. In fact, after the Battle of Badr, when he would step on the chest of Abu Jahl in the last moments of Abu Jahl's life, Abu Jahl was shocked that this little shepherd boy from Mecca would dare to stand on his chest. And he said to him:

He said: "You are ascending something difficult, you little shepherd boy." He was arrogant even in death.

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud رضي الله عنه one time is climbing a tree. And when he had climbed that tree, the wind began to blow and the Sahabah were laughing because of how skinny his legs were. And as you know, a person can be mocked because of anything and you don't know where people's insecurities lie. When you mock that person because of how they look, you don't know how that affects their confidence.

And the Prophet ﷺ is incredible, because what Rasulullah ﷺ would do is he would take your very cause of insecurity and he would turn it into a cause of confidence. You'll see that in a number of examples with the Prophet ﷺ. So when the Prophet hears them laughing, he says:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 3991)

He says: "Are you laughing because of how skinny his legs are? By the One in whose hand is my soul, those legs on the Day of Judgment will outweigh the mountain of Uhud."

And so now whenever you mention the legs of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, it's never to say that they're skinny. But it is always to say that those legs on the Day of Judgment will outweigh the mountain of Uhud. And I can imagine Abdullah ibn Mas'ud coming down from that tree like, "I told y'all I was heavy."

Rasulullah ﷺ takes people's insecurities and he turns them into sources of confidence. And so the question that we have now is: What insecurities do people have in your family? What insecurities do people have in our community? And how can you have the prophetic quality of turning people's insecurities into sources of confidence?

If there's a thousand people in this masjid, we want a thousand confident people. If there's 1.9 billion people in this ummah, we want 1.9 billion confident people. That's what we want. People who are confident in their abilities. People who are confident in what they have to share with the world. People who are confident in their positions and in their causes. People who are confident in calling people to Allah. And we can't do that if we're convincing each other that we're stupid and we're dumb and we don't have good ideas and we don't have reasons to be brave.

Safiyyah: Ethnicity as a Source of Belittlement

Safiyyah bint Huyayy ibn Akhtab is the wife of Rasulullah ﷺ and she is ethnically Jewish. Rasulullah ﷺ married her after Khaybar. And she mentions in a hadith — controversial in its authenticity — that she came and complained to the Prophet ﷺ and said: "Your wives, when there is friction between them, they would call out to her and say, 'Ya Yahudiyyah' — O Jew." A source of insecurity, because she is surrounded by Arab women.

The Prophet ﷺ is going to turn it into a source of confidence. What did he say? He said: "If they say that again, then say:"

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3894)

"If they say that again, tell them: 'My father is Harun. If you want to talk about being Jewish, let me tell you how Jewish I am. My father is Harun, my uncle is Musa, and my husband is Muhammad ﷺ.'" Honor after honor after honor.

Zahir: Socioeconomic Status as a Source of Belittlement

There are some people who are belittled because of their socioeconomic status. Al-Tirmidhi mentions this narration in his Shama'il al-Muhammadiyyah that there was a companion who was a Bedouin and the Prophet ﷺ loved this companion. His name was Zahir. And on one occasion, the Prophet ﷺ came behind Zahir while he was selling in the marketplace. And he grabbed him from behind and said:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 12238; Ibn Hibban, Hadith 5790)

"Who will purchase the slave? Who will purchase the slave?" Zahir doesn't know who is behind him and he's about to break free. And then he said: "When I saw that it was Rasulullah ﷺ, I leaned back behind him so that my back could touch his chest." And Zahir said:

"Ya Rasulullah, I'm not worth anything." And how many people talk like that? How many of us have friends who talk like that? They say, "I'm not smart like you. I'm not skilled like you. I'm not talented like you." Zahir رضي الله عنه is saying something similar. He's saying, "Ya Rasulullah, if you try to sell me, I'm not worth anything. I'm not going to move in the marketplace." And Rasulullah ﷺ said:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 12238)

"You are not worth nothing in the sight of Allah. Rather, you are expensive in the sight of Allah."

The Quranic Command Against Belittlement

Allah says:

Allah says: "O you who believe, let not one group of people belittle another group of people. It may be that the one you are mocking, the one you are belittling, is better than you. It may be. Maybe you're mocking this person, you're making fun of this person, and they are levels ahead of you with Allah." And the women get a shout-out on this one too: "And no woman, let them mock another group of women. Why? It may be that they are better than them." And then: "Don't even insult each other with nicknames. Don't even insult each other with nicknames."

I say what you have heard, and I ask Allah for forgiveness for myself and for you, so seek His forgiveness, for He is the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.

Second Khutbah: Three Takeaways

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon Rasulullah ﷺ, upon his family and companions and all those who follow him.

So the homework from this khutbah is very, very simple.

First: I make it an effort to never belittle people. Second — and higher than that — is that if I see people being belittled in my presence, that I challenge the person who is belittling, or I stop them from being belittled. Third — and to make it very easy — is to not belittle yourself.

Don't Belittle Yourself — The Example of Ibn Abbas

Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه used to bring Abdullah ibn Abbas — who was very, very young, between 15 and 25 years old during the khilafah of Umar — into gatherings with the Shuyukh of Badr, the elder Sahabah, people who were in their 50s and 60s. Umar رضي الله عنه used to be impressed with Abdullah ibn Abbas's intelligence. And Abdullah ibn Abbas at times would be so shy that he wouldn't speak. And so Umar رضي الله عنه used to say to him:

He would say: "Speak, my nephew, and don't belittle yourself."

A Lesson from Two Friends

I had two friends in university. One was always insulted by everybody. And another one was never insulted by anybody. And on reflecting on both of their personalities, I found that the one who was never insulted by anybody — number one, he would never insult himself. And number two, he would never allow for other people to belittle him or mock him. If somebody did, he would just say, "I'm sorry, I don't appreciate that. If you could not call me that, or if you could not say that." And then that person would say, "Oh, Mr. Sensitive" or something — they'd try to save face — but then they'd move on.

As for the one who was always mocked and always insulted by everybody, I noticed about him that he was the first person to belittle himself. He was the first person to say, "I'm so stupid." He's the first person to say, "I'm dumb." He's the first person to use this type of derogatory language about himself. And when you say that, you've made it that much easier for the person next to you to simply say, "Yeah, you're right, you are dumb. You're really dumb. Let me tell you how dumb you are." You open up the door. And so this person was always opening up the door for people to mock him.

So don't do that, and don't allow for other people to be mocked either.

We ask Allah to allow us to hear the speech and follow the best of it. May Allah bless you and your families, and may Allah bless our brothers and sisters in Palestine and Sudan and throughout the Muslim world. May Allah help them all. And may Allah send His blessings and peace upon our Master Muhammad ﷺ.