10 Islamic Principles to End Gossip, Suspicion, and Slander | Jumuah Khutbah | Dr. Yasir Qadhi

Announcements

Don't interact with them, don't engage with them, don't try to convert them. They're not here to listen to us, they're just here for a specific cause, to make a scene, make some videos, upload it and twist it and turn around, things like that. On Saturday, that is tomorrow, the outreach team is taking the medical bus to South Dallas. We're going to be doing health screening over there, إن شاء الله. The outreach team has done a lot of work with this new relationship, إن شاء الله. The epic mobile medical bus is going there to help with that.

Last but not least, if you're on your way out, please help the masjid with your donations. Twenty dollars a person will go a long way. جزاكم الله خيراً. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.

One last thing, we have a couple minutes if we can stand up and move up a little bit. You can see there's a lot more people in the back that can come inside the main hall, please. Please do so, help us move up, إن شاء الله.

Dua Requests

One last thing, so there's a lot of requests for duas. We have an 18-year-old sister in hospital, she's requesting dua, إن شاء الله. Brother Bashir is going through cancer, he's requesting dua, إن شاء الله. Mother of brother Rizwan Khan is in ICU, he's requesting dua for his mother, and then our beloved brother Omar Hamdi, his mother passed away this morning in Canada, so he's requested dua for his mother as well. So I'm requesting Sheikh Yasir, إن شاء الله, to make dua right after the salah combined together, إن شاء الله. جزاكم الله خيراً. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.

The Main Khutbah: Self-Reflection on Negative Narratives

Now I want to flip the script. Today's khutbah is not about them. It's about me and you. I want to ask you: In this scenario, where the government, the media, the governor, plays such an evil role. The most innocent thing is blown out of proportion. The most innocuous statement is read into. My question to you today, for today's khutbah: Have you or I ever acted like the government when it comes to our family and friends?

Have you or I ever had that mentality where the most innocent statement, the most innocuous phrase, we have already built up a negative understanding of another person. Such that we are being judge, jury and executioner. And that person, that family member, that person who used to be our friend, that public individual or preacher, no matter what they say or do, we have already formed a narrative like the government has formed about Muslims. And the most innocent, the most beautiful thing, a celebration for the family, a friendly festival. You can't get out of it because the mindset has been created.

Today, I challenge me and you. What if we have created that mindset about a family member, about a relative, about a person that is in our circle, about a preacher. We've already made that connection. Today's khutbah is a reminder of ten specific ethical guidelines that work to destroy that negative narrative.

Ten Islamic Principles

I will mention six aspects of our tradition that prevent that mindset. And four that protect society from reaching that mindset. Ten in total. And each of these ten aspects, multiple khutbahs have been given about all of them. So, today's khutbah might appear rushed. But the goal is not to concentrate on each one of these ten. Because all of you know these ten realities.

Today's khutbah, I want to form a network of these ten aspects. To indicate when we follow them one after the other. The goal of the Shariah of forming a beautiful society. A society in which suspicion, in which these negative views are simply not found. When we realize all of these ten put together form a beautiful reality that would make society a loving society, a flourishing society. And if we follow them at the individual level, then society itself would benefit.

But because we don't follow them, and because the broader culture does not follow them, then we see the reality where even an innocent, Muslim-friendly, children-friendly festival is turned and twisted and made into some nefarious agenda, shariatization of America. They're forcing their laws on us. Complete slander and بهتان. But they haven't followed what we were supposed to follow. So today's khutbah is about us, not about them.

Let us begin. Ten quick concepts. You all know these ten. But put together as I explained, they form a network, a lattice. They form an entire structure that would help us form beautiful families, societies, congregations. The Shariah comes to teach us all of these.

1. Husn al-Zann (Having Good Thoughts)

The first of them, حسن الظن. Having the best thoughts and intentions all the time as much as you can. Allah says in the Quran:

O you who believe, avoid as much of suspicion as you can. اجتنبوا كثيراً من الظن. As much suspicion as you can. Because obviously at some level, sometimes it's normal to be suspicious of evil people, of bad people. That's fine. But Allah didn't say all suspicion. Allah said as much as you can. اجتنبوا كثيراً من الظن.

When people who are overall good, when family and friends, when people that you know, they do something ambiguous, try your best to find an excuse for them. Try your best to make an excuse so that you don't have an evil thought of them. And this chapter in the Quran, Surah Al-Hujurat, is actually the template for many of these 10 aspects. And Surah Al-Hujurat as a whole forms a beautiful paradigm of how society should live and function.

The Prophet ﷺ seerah indicates the reality of حسن الظن as well. And the most famous episode in this regard is that what happened to our mother Aisha, the evil slander of our mother Aisha. When Allah exposed the hypocrites, one of the things that He said to the believers, to the believers not to the hypocrites. He says to the believers:

All you who believe, when you heard about this reality, why didn't you think, ظن المؤمنون بأنفسهم خيراً Why didn't you have good thoughts? Allah is criticizing the hypocrites for spreading the lie. Then Allah reminds the believers, why did you believe the lie? Why did you not have good thoughts? Why didn't you think the best when an ambiguous reality came to you?

Notice here, spreading the lie is bad, formulating the lie is bad, but then falling prey to suspicion. How often somebody forwards us a WhatsApp message, somebody forwards us a little clip, somebody does anything, and we want to read in the worst possible explanation. Ignore a lifetime of friendship, a lifetime of good deeds between you and him, a lifetime of positive, and one five second clip, one WhatsApp conversation is spread to you, and automatically your mind goes the worst of all places. And Allah says, why didn't you have good thoughts? ظن المؤمنون والمؤمنات بأنفسهم خيراً You should have thought the best thoughts, and sometimes forget WhatsApp and spreading. Even if you see something, try your best to have a good thought about it.

In the famous incident of the seerah, when Hatib ibn Abi Baltaa committed treason, he literally committed treason, he betrayed the secret of the Prophet ﷺ, when he was going to conquer Makkah. Even then, the Prophet ﷺ called him, and asked what his excuse was, and then formulated a better opinion. Didn't exonerate, he was still guilty, but the guilt was minimized, the guilt was made much less, and some حسن ظن was formed, when the reality became clear.

Umar ibn Khattab said, never think bad of a believer, if you can find any interpretation of what he said. If you have any مخرج, any way out, think the good thoughts. So the first of these ten realities, having good thoughts, حسن الظن, of the people you know, of your family and friends, of the preachers who spending their whole lives preaching Islam, and you come across a five second clip, have some حسن ظن, rather than having evil thoughts.

2. Avoiding Spying (La Tajassasu)

Number two, out of these aspects of prohibitions, number two, Allah has forbidden us to pry and spy, تجسس. Allah has forbidden us to be following the faults of other people. Allah says:

Do not spy on one another, do not follow other people's private issues, do not check on their phones, even your spouses, this is not your right to go and eavesdrop. If somebody is having a private conversation, your spouse is talking to her mother, her father, and you listen in on that, it's not your prerogative. This is تجسس, even they have privacy. And Allah tells us, do not تجسس, do not spy on one another, because this creates many problems as well.

And our Prophet ﷺ said in a hadith reported in Abu Dawood:

(Abu Dawood, Book 41, Hadith 4862)

That, oh you who say they are believers, but iman is not in their hearts, listen to this hadith. Oh you who claim to be believers, but you're not following iman, do not follow the mistakes of the other believers. لا تتبعوا عورات المسلمين Do not follow their mistakes, because whoever follows the mistakes of others, Allah will follow his mistakes. And Allah will expose him, even if he's in the privacy of his house. Don't make it your point to follow the mistakes, to know what other people's zillat or issues are. This is not something that should concern you. لا تجسسوا Do not go beyond what you need to.

3. Verification (Tabayyanu)

Point number three, of the mechanisms of our shariah to form a beautiful society, is the issue of, تبينوا

Oh you who believe, if an evil person comes to you with any news, verify. How many of us, when some news clip comes, when some WhatsApp message is forwarded, we don't even care to ask questions from our family, from our friend. We immediately jump to accusation. And this would have been avoided, if we simply clarified, what was the context? Did I miss something here? Was there a reason? And the maximum, maybe they will say, you know what, you're absolutely right. May Allah forgive me, I shouldn't have done that. And that one apology, will save your heart of evil, rancor, hatred.

تبينوا Oh you who believe, when a news comes to you from a source that you're not certain of, verify, make sure, تبينوا Otherwise, this is Quranic verse, Allah says, you might do something you yourself will regret. You will act in haste and impulse, and you will do something you yourself will regret.

And I already mentioned the story of Hatib. Hatib was betraying the secret of the Prophet ﷺ. And Umar ibn Khattab and others said, Ya Rasulullah خلاص, this is execution. Even then the Prophet ﷺ said, no, let's bring him. Bring him, verify. And he asked him point blank, did you? Hatib said, yes I did. Then he explained himself, you can listen to my seerah or any lecture what that explanation was. And what that explanation did, it didn't make him innocent, but it made him much much much less guilty. The exoneration wasn't full, but it was partial, enough that his life was saved. Enough that the excuse was not fully accepted, but the Prophet ﷺ understood where he's coming from, and did not execute him. تبينوا Literally saved his life. That is the reality we should also follow. So point number three, verify, ask, confirm, find out.

4. Avoiding Backbiting (La Yaghtab)

Point number four, even if you know something, even if you have verified it, if you speak about somebody else's false and evils in a gathering, you have committed غيبة. And you all know the evils of غيبة.

You know what Allah says about غيبة. You know what the Prophet ﷺ says about غيبة. So many problems are simply because you couldn't keep your mouth quiet and you had to spread information about other people. It's not our business. Don't talk about other people and their mistakes in the gatherings that they're not in. Allah clearly says the evils of غيبة. And the Prophet ﷺ said غيبة is one of the reasons that people are punished in the قبر. غيبة should be avoided. Dignified people do not talk about other people behind their backs. Dignified people have better sources of conversation than talking about the mistakes. Even if they're true, even if تبين has been made, then do not speak about other people. That is point number four.

5. Avoiding Tale-Bearing (Namimah)

Point number five, if غيبة is done, then the person himself doesn't know about it. Now somebody goes and brings that غيبة back to that person. This is called نميمة. This is called نميمة. And that is a separate and distinct sin. The sin of غيبة is bad enough. But غيبة in and of itself only harms the person who said it. نميمة harms society. Understand this point. غيبة harms only the person who said it. The person who said it has to answer to Allah. نميمة, you're in that gathering.

The Poison of Namimah: Breaking Social Bonds

Somebody made fun of another person. Somebody mentioned another person. Everybody laughed. You go to that person. "Hey, you know what that guy said about you." That is نَمِيمَة (namimah). Now you have effectively broken the bonds. You have conveyed a harm. It was a harm. And that harm, you should have corrected right then and there. "Akhi, don't backbite the brother. Go speak to him directly." You should have done that.

Even if you didn't, the harm was within that gathering. For you to go tell somebody else. For you to be a tattletale. That is what destroys society. And it is possible, it is possible, that the brother who did the ghibah, the sister who did the ghibah will repent to Allah. And no damage is done. But you did not repent and you created that damage.

How often? Wallahi, you've done it and I've done it. We say something foolish, we realize, "I shouldn't have said that." And nobody finds out about it other than that gathering. So you can manage the problem. But the drama is created when somebody goes and talks. Somebody goes and tattletales. And that is a separate problem.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6056)

And that's why the Prophet ﷺ said, "The one whose lifestyle is tattletaling, that person doesn't have a role in jannah." That's a very blunt hadith. Hardly does any sin have, "he shall not enter jannah." The one whose lifestyle, and we all know people like this, we try to avoid them. The one whose lifestyle is he's going and telling people, gossiping. He's telling about the backbiting. That person, the Prophet ﷺ said, he shall not enter jannah.

The Quranic Description of Evil Characteristics

Read the Quran, Surah Al-Qalam. One of the first revelations that Allah revealed when Allah described the evil people that the Quran is wanting to guide, that Allah Azza wa Jal is criticizing if they don't accept Islam. Look at the descriptions Allah gives:

That person is one who looks down at other people, and he's always walking with namimah. مَشَّاءٍ بِنَمِيمٍ - He's always the one who tattletales. He's the life of evil parties, because everybody knows the source of entertainment is gonna be him. Because he's talking about scandals, he's talking about other things that are happening. And Allah criticizes, don't be the one who is نَمِيم. Don't be the one who is talking about what other people have said about that person. That is what breaks society. This is the issue of namimah.

Point Six: The Inevitable Result - Buhtan (Outright Slander)

When you have a society in which there's no husna dhan, in which there is ghibah, in which there is namimah, in which all of this is happening, what is gonna happen? The inevitable result, the logical conclusion of the festering of all of these evils, you get number six which is بُهْتَان (buhtan). Outright slander, sheer lies that everybody believes.

It is so foolish for all of us sitting in this masjid to read what the governor says. "These are sharia crazy fanatics." It's a mother who was organizing for her children and wanting other daughters and children to come. Such an innocent gathering. But now look at Fox News, look at the whole news media, NBC, everybody saying, "the sharia takeover of Texas" because a mother was arranging a pool party for her daughters. Look at how foolish. This is called buhtan.

How did you get to buhtan? Because none of these other things were followed. Okay, forget the governor. Me and you, have we ever been guilty of listening to buhtan? Have we ever been guilty of perhaps participating in buhtan? An evil slander is said about a friend, about an uncle, about a cousin, about a preacher. We don't care about any of these realities. We will just jump on the bandwagon and then perpetuate buhtan.

Allah mentions in the Quran, with regards to the incident of our mother Aisha, those who are harming the believing men and women, those who are spreading these types of tales that are untrue, "They have carried upon themselves a great buhtan and a great punishment from Allah."

Be careful, O Muslims. Be careful of the first five because if you are not careful, buhtan will become the norm. And what is happening against our religion, our community, all of these lies are pure buhtan. There is no shariatization of this country. There is no evil agenda. But how did we get there? Because none of the first five were followed. Now apply in your own situation and lives and be careful of that.

Four Protective Factors

So these are the six, I call them preventative factors. There are four protective factors. And if we follow them, we will help mitigate the damages that might possibly happen.

1. Sattar - Concealing the Faults of Others

These four, number one, are the Islamic concept of سَتَّار (sattar) or concealing. The Islamic concept of hiding the faults of your brothers and sisters. So we are told in our religion, a personal private sin, please don't misinterpret me. We don't cover the faults of those that are harming publicly, zalimeen or tyrannical rulers or people that are embezzling. And we know, I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about a personal private sin that's not harming anybody else. Somebody is drinking, somebody is taking drugs, somebody is involved in an illegal relationship that is consensual. This is a personal sin. The shariah says, if you come across such a sin, you advise the person, you don't make it public. Sattar, nobody appointed you to be judge, jury and executioner. Nobody appointed you to go tell the world, post it on Facebook, have a gossip channel. "Hey, you know what I saw? Somebody was drinking. You know what I saw? So and so was flirting with so and so." Keep it covered. If you need to go to them, don't tell other people.

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 4012)

One of the names of Allah is Sattir, the one who covers. And the Prophet ﷺ said, "Allah is Sattir and He loves covering. He loves when these things are covered."

And a man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, "Ya Rasulullah, last night I was with a woman," he went to some detail, "I did this, I did that." Umar ibn Khattab said, "Oh, so and so, have some shame. If Allah covered your sin, why did you have to come and lift that cover from us? You didn't have to mention." Our scholars say, if you commit a sin, you don't have to say, "I did." Come and say, "what is the verdict?" Or "what should somebody who has done this and this do?" You don't have to tell even the shaykh that you go to ask a fatwa. As long as you don't have to say, "I did it." Get out of it.

So Umar ibn Khattab is saying, when Allah covered your sin, why did you have to come and lift Allah's cover? Why did you have to expose yourself? Even the one who does it. Try your best to, when you have to ask questions, cover the identity of the one who does so.

Al-Fudayl ibn Ayyad, the famous great tabi'i of the past, he said, "A mu'min is the one who covers the faults of the believers and advises them personally. Whereas the fajr al-munafiq is the one who exposes and humiliates." The mu'min covers, the munafiq, the evil person, exposes. When you expose the faults of others, you are not acting like the believer. If a scandal happens, cover it up. Don't go and tell other people, this is what the shariah teaches.

2. Nasiha - Private Sincere Advice

The next of the four that are preventative, goes back to sattar as well, I mentioned this indirectly, now I'll mention it directly, نَصِيحَة (nasiha). The shariah does not want you to publicize. The shariah wants you to go directly to the person and advise. Advise.

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 55)

The Prophet ﷺ said, "This entire religion is nasiha." And Allah commands us to have nasiha to one another. And the reality of nasiha is that you go with a sincere heart in a manner and time and place that will be effective. And you use the language that will be effective in order to change the attitude of your brother, to make that brother or sister a better person. This is what Islam advises. Nasiha, private nasiha, not public. Public is not nasiha.

Imam Al-Shafi'i said, "Don't advise me in public, that is shame. Come to me personally and advise me, that is nasiha." So nasiha is done with the right tongue, the right heart, means sincerity. The right tongue, the right wording, the right time, the right place, the right audience, generally just you and the person. And that is the way Islam wants us to correct things.

3. Minding Your Own Business

Number three of the preventative measures out of the last of the four. Number three, second to the last. One of the simplest principles of this religion. And it is so true. Wallahi, if we follow this, almost all of social drama would not happen. In English we say, minding your own business. Minding your own business.

(Jami' at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2317)

The Prophet ﷺ said it so eloquently when he said, "Of the perfection of one's Islam is that he leaves what is of no concern to him." Minding your own business. You have no reason talking about other people in their lives. You have no reason getting involved in drama about another couple, another this, another that. What business is it of yours?

You will protect yourself, your heart, your qalb, your tongue. You will protect your iman and your akhirah when you avoid talking about that which is of no concern to you. It's not your business. Nobody appointed you judge, jury and execution of all of mankind. Yes, if it is your immediate family, give nasiha, get involved. If it's something external, what business is it of yours? So keep to yourself and follow your own issues rather than the issues of society.

4. Guarding the Tongue

And the last of them, these are probably the most important if you truly understood this, is the reality of guarding the tongue. حِفْظُ اللِّسَان (hifz al-lisan). If we understood this, all of the other ten would follow this.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 10)

The Prophet ﷺ said, "The Muslim is the one whose tongue and hands other people are safe from." Your tongue and your hands should not be harming other people. If you're harming other people, the Prophet ﷺ saying, you're not acting as a Muslim.

(Jami' at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2406)

The Prophet ﷺ was asked by Uqba ibn Nafi, "How can I be saved on the day of judgment?" And the Prophet ﷺ held on to his tongue. And he said, "Withdraw your tongue. Control your tongue. And let your house be enough for you." Meaning mind your own business. Let your house be enough for you. And cry over your own sins.

This is a beautiful hadith. Don't get involved in drama of other people. Don't talk about other issues. Your house is enough. You have enough issues to deal with. And cry over your own sins. Why are you getting involved in other people's sins? Don't you have enough of a lifestyle that you have to regret? Don't you have enough issues in your closet? I have enough in my closet. I have to worry about in front of Allah. Why are you getting involved in other people's lives? Let your tongue be withdrawn. And stay in your own house. Be involved with what is yours. And cry over your own sins.

Building a Pure Society

My dear brothers and sisters, realize all of these 10 aspects, they are not random different issues. If we follow them in totality, if we put them all together, can you imagine the pure, beautiful society? Can you imagine the flourishing of families and friendships, of gatherings? This is the beauty of our religion. Even the small things that we think about, maybe a khutbah given here and there. Actually put together, they work to build a society based upon trust, based upon dignity, based upon كَرَامَة (karama).

A society in which hearts are pure, tongues are pure, eyes are pure. That's the beauty of our religion. If we cannot implement it at the state level, let us implement it at our local level, in our households, in our gatherings. Let us make our own gatherings as pure as we can.

Here we are criticizing the governor, and criticizing the others. Yet at the same time, perhaps to a lesser degree, but we might be falling prey to the same stereotypes, caricatures, drama, putting things out of context, making these accusations against other people. Let us avoid that because we have to answer to Allah for our own sins and deeds.

Realize as well, oh Muslim, that all of these aspects, Allah has revealed them in order that we attain taqwa and piety.

The Danger of Uncontrolled Speech

The Prophet ﷺ told us that one of the major causes of punishment on the day of judgment will be the tongue that is let loose. Be careful of your tongue, control your tongue, and society will be better for it. May Allah bless me and you with Him through the Quran. And may He make us of those who His verses they understand and applies halal and haram throughout our lifespan. Ask Allah's forgiveness, you as well ask Him for His غفور and the رحمن.

The Psychology Behind Gossip and Slander

There is one other point that I would like to mention about this reality of causing drama, creating drama, being a part of drama, of hurting other people, of getting involved in غيبة ونميمة and evil thoughts and what not. And that reality is, and this is something modern psychologists have talked about, there are multiple books on this. The reality is that when you get involved in such issues, you actually betray more about yourself than other people. And this should cause us to reflect and think.

When you get involved in these issues, when you start talking and feeling something about others, the reality is, psychologists can analyze you, you should analyze yourself. Why are you doing this? It betrays more about you than it does about other people. And there's many books and academic articles written about the psychology of gossip. Why do people gossip? Why do people slander? Why do people backbite? And when you read those works, you actually start looking at yourself and realizing, actually I have issues, that's why I'm doing this. If I cleanse my heart, if I remove my own ego, if I, for example, one of the things that is mentioned is that one of the main causes is actually envy and resentment.

Jealousy and Inferiority Complex as Root Causes

When you're jealous of something, then you want to poke the other person, you want to find something negative about the other person. If you don't understand this point, you might spend years talking about other people, and the problem was not other people, the problem actually deep down inside. That cousin, you actually have a resentment. That person in your life, that friend, you actually have a jealousy. That's why you want to make a drama out of the most innocent thing. You betray your own inner heart when you get involved, always obsessing over something else. Why is this the case?

Another issue that psychologists have mentioned is an inferiority complex. You need to be validated. You need people to like you. And because you have nothing else to offer, or so you think, the only way you think you can be validated is by being that clown that brings the drama of other people. No, you're better than that. You have something to contribute a value. You have cheapened yourself so that you think, I can't be popular unless I do that. No, gain some confidence with Allah. Have some عزة of the نفس.

Islamic Solution: Purification of the Heart

So my point is that when you start studying the psychology of these social ills, subhanAllah, Islam fits perfectly with this reality. Because when you have تزكية القلب, when you have a pure heart, when you have a connection with Allah, when your heart is full of positivity towards Allah and towards the creation of Allah, you will automatically realize, I don't have time for this drama. I don't have time for these issues of WhatsApp media and social media, this and that. I have much more important things to worry about.

So the reality is that the religion of Islam puts all of this together. Turn to Allah, fulfill your desires and your heart's needs by the religious values. And you will realize that if you are a good person, then you don't have time to get involved in bad things. When your heart is full of تقوى and إيمان, you will not have the time to get involved in the drama of other people. This is the beauty of our faith of Muslims.

The Path to Dignity and Success

Realize that Allah has revealed this religion so that we can attain utmost dignity and عزة by following it in this world and the pleasure of Allah in the hereafter. Do not be of those who are همازة مشائم بن أمين. Do not be of those who are doing غيبة and backbiting. Do not be of those that have سوء ظن and reading the most ambiguous. Do not be of those who cause drama or cut off the friendships of other people. Be dignified. Have your heart full of religious تقوى and spirituality and do that which is beneficial in order that not only you succeed, but society as well succeeds.

Du'a