Birr Al-Walidayn: Honoring Parents as a Path to Jannah | Jumuah Khutbah | Shaykh Dr. Yasir Qadhi
By Shaykh Dr. Yasir Qadhi | 2026-06-05T01:15:43.927454+00:00 | Topic: Allah
The Reminder of Taqwa
Ibad Allah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has reminded all of us to have taqwa of him in the Qur'an when he says:
The Sacred Connection Between Allah and Motherhood
The famous Sahabi Abdurrahman ibn Awf radiallahu anhu reported that I heard the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam say that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, so this is a hadith Qudsi, reported in Tirmidhi and others, that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said:
(Jami' at-Tirmidhi)
Allah is speaking in the first person, and he says, I am Allah, and I am الرحمن, خلقت الرحم, I created the womb, the mother. الرحم is the womb, symbolic of the mother. I am الرحمن, and I created motherhood, mother. The concept of الرحم, the womb, it is coming from the name الرحمن. Allah said, وشققت لها من اسمي, I extracted the concept of motherhood, the concept of the womb, شققت, اشتقاق, extraction. In Arabic, الرحم and الرحمن. الرحم in Arabic means the womb, which means parents, family, but especially the mother. And Allah says, I am الرحمن, and from الرحمن, I extracted the concept of motherhood, and by extension, the family. So whoever connects with the الرحم, has connected with me. And whoever cuts off from the الرحم, has disconnected from me.
The Divine Nature of Parental Love
My dear brothers and sisters, this hadith demonstrates that the womb, and in particular the concept of motherhood, the concept of parents, it is in fact a divine blessing, a divine gift, that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has gifted and extracted straight from His own name. There is no such other concept that Allah says, from my name, I created this concept. There is no other such concept. And this is why our scholars say, that out of all of the love of this world, out of all of the love that is present in this world, that is created, that is from a human to a human, the closest that gets to the divine love is the love of the mother and then the father. The closest that gets... There is no comparison. لَيْسَ كَمِثْلِهِ شَيْءٌ We are not comparing the created love to the love of Allah. But out of this created world, the closest love that exists is the love of the parent for the child.
This is what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is referencing in this hadith. And that is why, it's not a coincidence, when there was a difficult situation, there was a war, there was a difficult tragedy, and in that midst the Prophet ﷺ is walking and he sees a mother oblivious to the war, oblivious to all of the carnage happening, crying out, where is my child, where is my child? And then she finds the child, she jumps on it, comforted. The world is at war, but she's found her child. And she takes the child, and she feeds the child, and she is at peace that she has found her child in the midst of this chaos. And the Prophet ﷺ, what did he think of when he saw that love? He said, do you see the love of this mother for her child? They said, yes. He said, know that the love of Allah for His servant is more than the love of this mother for her child.
The Purity of Parental Love
There is no comparison. But the closest one gets to the concept of divine love in the creation is the love of the parents for the child. The love that is a selfless love. It is a love of nurturing, a love of care, a love of wanting good without any competition, without any jealousy. We are all aware as adults that there is no love that exists that is as pure as the love of the mother and father. Every other love is conditional. Our spouses, our children, our cousins, our siblings, it is reciprocal. The love that is the purest one way. Even if you don't act in the right manner, even if you do not live up to the standards, love still pours out. It is the love of the mother and the father. It is a love of nurturing. There is no jealousy. Wallahi, even your cousins, your uncles, your siblings, they can get jealous of you. But the parents can never get jealous of you. The parents want your good. The parents want to see you flourish. And this is why that love is the closest in this creation to the divine love.
The Rights of Parents Throughout History
Therefore, when the love of the parent is so pure understandably, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has reminded us of the rights of the parent. Because there is no such love that has been shown to you in your whole life that compares to the love of your parents unto you. So when that love is so pure, Allah has reminded us, you need to do your best to pay it back. And we are all aware, brothers and sisters, of how the Qur'an and the sunnah equate the rights of the parents second only to the rights of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. But this is not only in our tradition. This goes back to the beginning of time. It goes back to every single millah and deen and prophet and wahi that Allah has revealed. No exceptions.
Go read the Qur'an. Allah says in the Qur'an:
We took a covenant from the children of Israel. We took a covenant, mithaq from them. What was that covenant? Allah says they must worship Allah alone and they must be good to their parents.
The Wisdom of Luqman
Allah talks about a previous person by the name of Luqman. He existed millennia ago, way before Islam, the coming of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And Allah says:
And then Allah says:
He's talking about Luqman telling his son or daughter. And Luqman says to his son that worship Allah alone. Luqman said, be good to your parents. But Allah changes the language. And Allah says, this isn't just coming from Luqman, this is coming from me. Don't just think a father is teaching his son to be good unto him. The whole passage, it is Luqman in the third person. Only one sentence, Allah takes what Luqman is saying and he ascribes it directly to himself. Meaning, don't think there's a conflict of interest. Just because the father is telling you, doesn't mean this is not correct. No, I am telling you. Yes, Luqman also said it. But I want you to know this is coming directly from me. وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا And we told mankind that you treat your parents in the best of all fashions and manners.
The Five Commands of Birr al-Walidayn
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in the most famous verse, every one of us has read and known. We've heard it in countless khutbas in Surah Al-Isra, verse 23 and 24:
Your Lord has decreed, this is qada, this is non-negotiable, this is set in stone, this is the qada of Allah that no one can nullify. Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship any except Him. وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا And you treat your parents with the utmost kindness and respect. إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا If the one of them or the both of them reach old age and you are there with them, فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ Five phrases. Memorize it. Number one, do not say uff to them. Number two, وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا Do not make them feel awkward. Do not put them down. Number three, وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا Say to them generous speech. Allah describes the speech as generous. Meaning, the speech must be uplifting. The speech must make them feel good. When you are generous with your money, you're generous with your food, the person who's the recipient feels honored. Allah says, show speech that is generous. Say things that will make them feel good. وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا Number four, وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ Lower unto them the wings of humility from mercy. And number five, make dua for them and say, Oh Allah, have mercy on them as they raised me as a child.
Understanding the Metaphor of Wings
We have all memorized and heard this ayah over and over again. But have you ever wondered about this metaphor? Have you ever wondered about this imagery that is given in the Qur'an? When Allah says, Lower unto them your wings of dhul, of humility out of mercy. Lower unto them your wings of humility out of mercy. Our scholars of tafsir, they comment on this metaphor. And they extract so many beautiful messages of them. It is in fact a metaphor which appears to be reversed. Because it is the parents who lower the wings over their children. As we all know, when the bird is in danger, what does it do? It protects its child by lowering the wings of protection. It is the parent that is instinctively created by Allah to protect the child with its own life and its wings. But now Allah is saying to the child, Lower unto them the wings of humility through mercy. Why? Because Allah is reminding you that once upon a time, your parents did it unto you. Now you need to return the favor unto them. Allah is making a metaphor that you should understand that once upon a time, they sacrifice for you. Now it is your turn to sacrifice for them.
The Reversal of Power Dynamics
And there is another powerful symbolism that some of our scholars have derived. And that is that generally speaking, when the parents become older and when the young man becomes full of age, at that point in time, the power dynamics have reversed. It is the young child, the young man that is now stronger, more physically fit, wealthier, more powerful. The young man has the freedom to fly away. The young man has the freedom to unfold the wings and go wherever they want. And Allah says, No, at this time when they need you the most, do not fly away. Lower your wings. Do not go away from them. Rather, protect your own power, your own strength over them. Humble yourself. وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ Notice a very interesting word here. Lower unto them the wing of dhul. And dhul actually means humility. Actually, it can also mean humiliation. Dhul means you are lowering yourself. And Allah says, Yes, I know you have more wealth now. Yes, you have more power. Yes, you are more stronger than them. Yes, the tide has changed. But do not take advantage of that. Humble yourself in front of them. And lower unto them the wing of dhul. Become dhalil. Lower yourself in front of them knowing physically you might have more. But now they need you the most. So, out of rahma, have that dhul that is coming that's going to protect them. وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ And then continuously make dua for them as they took care of you.
Parents: The Greatest Door to Jannah
My dear brothers and sisters, much can be said about the blessings and the rights of the parents. And the goal here is simply a reminder. But of the blessings of taking care of the parents is that the easiest way to get to Jannah. Of the easiest ways to get to Jannah is to take care of the mother and the father. The Prophet ﷺ said, hadith is in Tirmidhi:
(Jami' at-Tirmidhi)
The father, the mother, it is the biggest door to Jannah. أَوْسَطُ here means not just the middle, the biggest door to Jannah. The door that has the most room, you have the easiest access to. The door that guarantees you entrance into Jannah. الْوَالِدُ, the father, the mother is the middle door to Jannah, the biggest door to Jannah. So the Prophet ﷺ said, either protect this door or abandon it at your own peril. Either take advantage of this door or if you don't, then you have lost your own chance at this easy access to Jannah.
And the Prophet ﷺ told us:
(Musnad Ahmad)
The pleasure of Allah will be found in pleasing the parents. This is a hadith in Ahmad and other books, authentic hadith.
The Path to Allah's Pleasure Through Parental Obedience
The pleasure of Allah will be found in pleasing the parents. And the anger of Allah will be found in displeasing the parents. And we're all aware of that famous hadith of the Prophet ﷺ in which he told us that of the greatest of all good deeds is to please Allah.
And he told us that the number one person in this whole world that has the most right of our wealth and of our time and of our energy is our mother and then our mother and then our mother and then he said our father. We learned this hadith as children but understand the reality of this hadith. The number one person is not your friends, is not your spouse. The number one person who deserves everything you have to give. Your time, your wealth, your energy, your sacrifice, it is your mother, then your mother, then your mother, and then your father.
Jannah is Under the Feet of the Mother
And in that famous hadith that we're all aware of that a man came to the Prophet ﷺ and he said, Ya Rasulullah, I want to do jihad in your way. He comes at the end of Islam, he has missed out Badr, Uhud, all of these great battles. He said, I want to do something magnificent. Tell me something that is the biggest of all deeds. So the Prophet ﷺ said to him, Is your mother still alive? He said, Yes. He said, Go back to her and find jannah around her feet.
And from this we get the expression, jannah is under the feet of the mother. That expression, it comes from this hadith. That hadith is that, go back to her and find jannah. You will find jannah around her feet. Meaning what? When you lower yourself to your mother and you do whatever you can to please your parents, that is how you will find jannah. You want jannah? You've come to me all the way from that far away land? You want to do something great? I am telling you, go back to your mother and father. Go back to where jannah is and you will find jannah where you left it.
You're not gonna understand the context. He's telling the sahabi, don't live in Medina, don't be with me. Don't abandon your own mother and father. Go back over there and you will find jannah where you left it because it is under the feet of your mother.
The Highest Ranks of Piety
And subhanAllah brothers and sisters, it's not just jannah that makes it easy. When you do khidmat to the walidayn. Actually the highest levels of jannah. It's not just a good deed. It is a deed that surpasses almost every other deed. In fact, the only deed that is more blessed than giving khidmat to your parents is the worship of Allah, the kalima, the prayer five times a day. Basically the minimal fardh being a Muslim. After that, the biggest door, not just to jannah but to piety. The highest ranks of piety it is in your service to your mother and your father.
This is demonstrated throughout the Qur'an and the sunnah. When the Prophet ﷺ went up to Isra ul Mi'raj, hadith is in At-Tabarani and others. He went up to Isra ul Mi'raj and he enters jannah. And he hears somebody reciting Qur'an already there. He hears tilawa already there. So he asked Jibreel, who is this person? I'm already hearing him. How can he be here when he must be on earth? I already hear his voice in jannah.
Jibreel says, this is Haritha ibn An-Nu'man. So the Prophet ﷺ said, ذَٰلِكُمُ الْبِرُّ. That is because of the birr. ذَٰلِكُمُ الْبِرُّ. ذَٰلِكُمُ الْبِرُّ. That is because he was good to his mother. He was good to his mother. He was good to his mother. The Prophet ﷺ is saying, that is why I can hear Al-Haritha was alive when this hadith is happening. But he's hearing the tilawa of the Qur'an in jannah, in Isra ul Mi'raj. And Al-Haritha is walking in Medina because the Prophet ﷺ himself explained, كَانَ بَارًّا لِوَالِدَتِهِ. He was good to his mother. That's why I hear his tilawa in jannah.
The Story of Owais al-Qarni
And of course you're all aware, an amazing hadith. You're all aware of it, but ponder over this. That hadith is in Sahih Muslim that the Prophet ﷺ said to Umar al-Khattab, after I pass away, a man will come to you from the tribe of such and such from Yemen. He's gonna come to you, his name is Owais. And he has a birthmark such and such. He's describing a man he's never seen in vivid detail. And he says to Umar al-Khattab, in your khilafah he's gonna come to you. When he comes to you, go and find him. And then ask him to make dua for your forgiveness. Because he is a man who was good to his mother.
So in the khilafah of Umar radiallahu anhu, that tribe came to embrace Islam. And that hadith of Umar al-Khattab remembered it. So he went from his house, he went to that area outside of Medina. He said, where is that tribe? He said, over there. Do you have a man called Owais? They said, yeah, he's over there. He went to Owais, he said, Owais, do you have a birthmark like this, this, this? He said, yes, I do. He showed him the birthmark. Then Umar al-Khattab said, please Owais, please make dua that Allah forgives me.
Owais is shocked. The Ameer al-Mumineen, Umar al-Khattab, is coming to a random stranger. Owais is not a sahabi. Owais has never seen the Prophet ﷺ. And Umar al-Khattab is saying, Oh Owais, please ask Allah to forgive me. Owais says, how can I ask you, Umar? He says, I heard the Prophet ﷺ say, and he said the whole hadith. And he said, and that is because you took care of your mother. You were good to your mother.
Allah informed the Prophet ﷺ of somebody who's not even a sahabi, he's a tabi'i, thousands of miles away. Allah sent Jibreel and said, go tell the Prophet ﷺ, there's a man in Yemen, his name is Owais, and he is a righteous person. Why? Because he takes care of his mother. Can you imagine the rank of a person, how high up he went that even Umar radiallahu anhu is going to him and saying, Oh Owais, ask Allah to forgive me. This is the rank of the one who takes care of the parents.
The Path to Forgiveness
And also, oh Muslim, one of the easiest mechanisms of having your sins forgiven. I speak to all of us sinners who have committed sins that we're embarrassed about, sins that bring shame to us, sins that distance us between ourselves and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and he said, Ya Rasulullah, I have committed a major sin, dhanban azeeman. I have committed a major sin and I am scared of halak, I'm scared of punishment. I don't know what to do. I am scared Allah will punish me.
What question did the Prophet ﷺ ask him? He said, Alaka walidah, is your mother alive? He said, no, she's passed away. Is your father alive? No, he has passed away too. Do you have a khala? Do you have a mother's sister? Yes, I have my mother's sister. Go to your mother's sister and serve her and you will be forgiven.
Can you imagine, the khala will get you forgiven. How about the walidah and the um? Can you imagine, the mother's sister has that right that when a man comes, he doesn't have his mother alive, he doesn't have his father alive. And the Prophet ﷺ says, okay, go to your mother's sister and do khidmah to her. He didn't even ask the sin. He didn't even ask the crime. He just said, go and make her happy and Allah will forgive you. If this is the case of the mother's sister, how about the mother herself?
O Muslim, who has wronged Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala up until now, do not lose hope of Allah bringing happiness to your mother, bringing happiness to your father is the ultimate mechanism to have your sins forgiven.
The Quranic Command of Unconditional Kindness
And there is so much to do. The only verses in the Quran in which Allah says unconditional birr and ihsan in matters of this world. Not in matters of deen, because if they ask you to disobey Allah, you do not. But in matters of this world, obey them and be good to them or as you know, the parents.
And therefore, O Muslim, those whose parents are still alive, understand that Allah has allowed for you doors of jannah to be opened. Take advantage of those doors. Bring happiness to your parents. Give them their financial dues. Take care of them physically as much as you can. Respect them in your outer demeanor. Lower the wings of humiliation. Humiliate yourself in front of them. Lower your head in front of them.
The word uf is the least insignificant word in the Arabic language to indicate you are irritated. It's not even a curse word. It is just a nuisance, uf. It's the smallest word that can be used. And one of the scholars of the past said, if there had been a word more trivial than uf, Allah would have used it. Uf is not even a bad word. It's just an express of frustration. Allah says, don't show your frustration in front of them. لَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ This means if you feel it in your heart, conceal it, cover it up. If you feel frustration, cover it up.
And the words outside are going to be generous words, beautiful words, words of loving, words of comfort, words of upliftment. This is what Allah wants from us.
The Connection Between Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim
And always remember that bringing happiness to the parents is the ultimate connection you have with your Lord. The number one connection after the kalima. This is straight from the first hadith. I created motherhood from My name. I created the rahim from Ar-Rahman. Whoever connects has connected with Me. Whoever connects with that concept, and that means the mother, the father, and then all of the family.
Again I reiterate, the concept of ar-rahim primarily means the mother, but by extension it means every person that is connected to us by a womb. So your cousins are connected by a womb. Your uncle is connected by a womb. So the rahim means family, primarily means mother and then father. And so the Prophet ﷺ said, Allah says, I have created the family, the rahim, the womb, the motherhood. I created it from My name. Whoever wants ar-rahman should be connected to ar-rahim. Whoever wants to be cut off from ar-rahman, let him cut off from ar-rahim.
Ihsan Continues Even After Death
And also realize, O Muslims, that ihsan to one's parents does not stop when their life ceases to be on this earth. Ihsan continues not when their life dies, it continues as long as you have life. Ihsan to parents continues even when they are gone from this world. It only stops when you yourself stop breathing. As long as you are alive, you must continue to do things on behalf of your parents.
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, O Messenger of Allah, my mother has passed away, what can I do for her sake? Is there anything I can do? And the Prophet ﷺ gave him a list, and that list is well known in the books of hadith, different versions have different things. But he said, yes, there is much you can do for her. And of the things that are mentioned, the most important one is istighfar, constantly making dua for your parents. And this is straight from the Qur'an,
Make dua that Allah blesses them, has mercy on them, makes their grave a vast place for them, never stop making dua for them.
The famous sahabi Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr, the nephew of the Prophet ﷺ, that great sahabi, when he passed away, his son Amir remarked, that my father died, and for an entire year, I could not raise my hands and ask for anything other than forgiveness from my father. Every time I raise my hands, I couldn't make dua for anything. The only thing that came to my mind was istighfar from my father Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr. A whole year, and his mind is clouded, his mind is overtaken by the love of his father, and he just wants to make dua for his father.
Fulfilling Our Parents' Wishes After Their Passing
Of the ways we fulfill the rights of the mother and father, if they have moved on from this world, is that we fulfill their requests, their wishes, their desires, their wasiyah, anything they told us to do, anything they put in the will. Make sure that we fulfill that testimony, and make sure that we live up to the covenants and the promises that they made in their lifetimes.
Of the ways that we show ihsan and birr to our mothers and fathers after they have passed on, is by doing acts of charity on their behalf. Charity includes money, and it includes acts of worship, and it includes service, and it includes udhiyah. So do whatever you can, and then say to Allah, you give your money, you give your udhiyah, you say, "O Allah, this I want it to go to my mother, I want it to go to my father," and do this regularly.
This is something we learn in the hadith as well, that a man will be in his qabr, and he will see a credit in his account of good deeds. He will say, "Ya Allah, where is this coming from?" And he will be told, "This is your son, he gifted you such and such a deed, he did such and such a deed for you." This is something that all the scholars of Islam agree upon, that we may gift good deeds to the deceased.
What Good Deeds Can Be Gifted
They agree that one can gift monetary charity, and one can gift the highest level, which is umrah and hajj. Then there is a slight disagreement about tilawatul Qur'an. The vast majority say that one can gift Qur'an recitation to them as well, and this is the position of Ibn Taymiyyah, and it seems to be really the correct one, that we can also gift other good deeds. If we can give them hajj and umrah, then we can also give them tilawatul Qur'an.
So you can recite surah al-Fatiha, you can recite ayatul kursi, and then say, "O Allah, let the reward of this go to my mother, my father, give it over to them." When you give that deed to them, realize you are giving them a good deed you have done, and you expect Allah to reward you for your generosity. That good deed is no longer in your account, like you give some money, it's not in your account, but you want Allah to reward you.
Similarly, when you do hajj and umrah, as long as you've done it yourself, you can do it for somebody else. When you do hajj and umrah, technically you have gifted that hajj and umrah to somebody else. But we also say Allah is kareem, Allah is kareem, and when you do it for your mother, your father, inshaAllah, you will also get the ajr, and the umrah, and your mother and father will also get the ajr and the umrah as well.
Maintaining Their Ties of Friendship
Brothers and sisters, of the greatest mechanisms of maintaining the ties of kinship, and this is something that is very awkward to do, but it is something that is explicitly mentioned - the Prophet ﷺ said, maintain the ties of their friends when they are gone. This is very awkward because the friends of your parents are a different demographic, different age group, there is very little in common. But the Prophet ﷺ said, of the ways you maintain the respect of your parents is by maintaining their ties of friendship and kinship.
So their friends, their relatives, and of course there are going to be relatives as well, the ones that were close to them when they were alive, you should make an effort to be in touch with them when they are no longer there. SubhanAllah, I was thinking about the wisdom about this, and I realized that one of the main wisdoms of why this is a way to honor and respect your parents: when you go to a friend of your father, a friend of your mother, you are not their friend, you are a youngster in their eyes. What will be the main topic of conversation? It will be your own deceased mother or father, the main topic of conversation, and that will bring about softness, it will bring about dua, it will bring about a renewal of their love. This is a reality that all of us who have done this experience.
The Greatest Good Deeds
Much can be said, but a man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, "Ya Rasulullah, what is the greatest of all good deeds I can do?" He said, "As-salatu ala waqtiha," praying at its time. (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim) The highest level. What is the greatest deed? Praying your five prayers at its right time. And then what? He said, being good to your parents. And then what? Going out for jihad in the way of Allah. Being good to parents is higher than any other deed after the pure worship of Allah.
So, O Muslim, examine the role of this important concept in your life. Realize Allah has made Jannah easy for the one who wants to undertake this path. Realize the highest way to get to the levels of the Saliheen, the levels of the Awliya, the levels of the Muttaqeen, is by serving your mother and father. And then decide, do you want to take advantage of that or not?
May Allah bless me and you with the Qur'an. And may He make us of those whose verses they understand and applies halal and haram throughout our lifespan. Ask Allah's forgiveness. You as well ask Him for His ghafoor and the Rahman.
A Personal Reflection on the Rights of Parents
Alhamdulillah al-wahid al-ahad, al-samad, alladhi lam yalid walam yulad, walam yakun lahu kufwan ahad, wa ba'du.
I have been in this community for 7 years now. And every community I have lived in, I have given multiple talks about the rights of the parents. In Houston when I was growing up, in Tennessee, in Connecticut, multiple places I have lived, I have spoken about the rights of the parents many times. And that is because it is my job as a teacher, as a preacher, as a sheikh. It is my job to give the priority of the Qur'an. And when the Qur'an has given so much priority to parents, I must also give that priority in a matter of dhikr.
But for those of you that have been here, you know that for the last 7 years, I have never given one talk about this concept. And the reason being that every time the talk came up, I found it difficult to speak about a concept that I felt I was not fulfilling the rights of. My parents have lived with me. My father passed away earlier this week. And so for 7 years, he was here with me in Dallas. And every time I wanted to give a talk about the rights of the parents, I felt that it is not appropriate because I am not fulfilling the haqq.
And I realized the reality that I can now state clearly. Talk is very easy. Talk is cheap. Talk is the easiest thing to do. But when you have an elderly person to take care of, it's not easy giving them their rights. And I felt it is not befitting that I preach to you a concept that I am not living up to and I have fallen short of. And so this is my excuse to you. For 7 years, I have never spoken to you one khutbah about the rights of the parents. And now that my father is not here, I can confess to you this is why I could not do so. And I ask Allah to forgive that which I could not do.
We Cannot Truly Fulfill Their Rights
But I find consolation in what Ibn al-Jawzi says in his Sayyid al-Khatir, he says, let the son who tries to take care of his parents know that no matter what he does, he will never be able to truly fulfill the rights of the parents. That is not possible.
A man came to Ibn Abbas, this is reported in the books of history, and he was doing tawaf, and he had his mother on his back. And his mother had wanted to go for hajj, and he couldn't afford a camel. So he undertook a 10 month long journey carrying his mother on his back, walking from Yemen to do hajj. And as he's doing tawaf, the crowd gathers around Ibn Abbas. So he asks, who is this man? He goes, this is Ibn Abbas, the cousin of the Prophet ﷺ.
He becomes happy, he walks up to him, and he says, "O Ibn Abbas, this is my mother. She had one wish to go for hajj. And because I couldn't afford it, I have carried her on my back, coming to do her obligation. Have I fulfilled the rights of my mother?" Ibn Abbas said, "No, not even a fraction." He said, "What? How? I have carried her on my back, how could I not have fulfilled her rights?"
And Ibn Abbas said such a profound reality. Understand how true it is what he said. And I know how true this is, and all of you who have taken care of your parents know how true that is. He said, "When your mother took care of you, she took care of you out of pure love, wanting to see you flourish, wanting to see you grow, wanting to see you happy, wanting to see you succeed. And now when you take care of her, you are doing it out of obligation, waiting for the time that you don't have to have this obligation anymore. You are not doing it with the same love that she did it unto you. So how could you have fulfilled her rights?"
And that is so true, brothers and sisters, that the reality is that children can never fulfill the rights of the parents. But we try what we can, and we ask Allah for forgiveness for the rest.
Allah Knows What Is in Your Heart
And there is one particular verse that gave me much consolation. You know sometimes you read the Qur'an and you read tafsir, but you don't live the verse. And so it doesn't make sense to you the way that it should. But when for the last seven years, whatever little I was doing and falling short, one verse gave me the most comfort and solace. And I understood it in a way that I never understood before.
Right after surah Isra, when Allah says:
What is the next verse? I had read this verse hundreds and thousands of times. I had recited this verse to my father when I'm doing hizb. But it never really made sense to me, the way that it made sense to me when I was in that situation. What is the next verse? Allah says:
Allah knows what is in your hearts when you're taking care of your parents. Allah knows this. If you try your best, He will forgive those that turn unto Him. Allah is giving us comfort. I'm not asking for perfection. I know what you're trying. Allah knows what is in your hearts when you have to control, when you have to give service. Allah knows what is there. If you try to be good, Allah will forgive those that turn back to Him. Allah is not demanding perfection.
And as Ibn al-Jawzi says, none of us can be perfect when it comes to our parents. But try, try your best, and overlook what needs to be overlooked.
An Urgent Message to the Living
And O Muslims, O Muslims, I speak now to all of you, especially the next generation younger than me, or my age, or older than me whose parents are still alive. I say to you clearly and loudly, do whatever you can to make your parents happy before the time comes when you will not have that opportunity.
Wallahi a time will come when you will not care how much money you spent on the ticket to visit your mother. You will not care about the week you had to take off. You will not care about the efforts and energy. You will not be concerned about the harsh love that parents say things and do things. You will not care. But you will remember the happiness you brought to their faces. You will remember the duas that they made for you.
And so those whose parents are alive, then do whatever you can to bring happiness to them. And you know best how that will be achieved. And those whose parents have moved on, then subhanAllah, what a beautiful religion that we have. And what an amazing book that we have. And what a generous Lord that we have. That the Qur'an explicitly mentions that one of the blessings of Jannah is parents and children will be together. This is why Jannah is Jannah. That all the loved ones will be together. And so look forward to the hereafter. O Muslim whose mother is no longer with you, whose father is no longer with you. O Muslim whose parents were upon the kalima, look forward inshaAllah ta'ala to the next time you will see them. The next time you will see them will be at the gates of Jannah inshaAllah ta'ala. And they're going to be looking young and bright and happy. And there will be no separation and there will be no death after that.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
Those who believe and whose children followed them in iman, we will raise their children to the ranks of their forefathers. And all of them will be together. Notice, أَلْحَقْنَا بِهِمْ - Generally speaking, the parents are more righteous. Generally speaking, the older generation are better than the next generation. So Allah is saying, we will take the kids and raise them up to the ranks of the parents. This is what Allah gives us in the Qur'an.
And in Surah Ar-Ra'd, and with this we conclude. Allah says:
جَنَّاتُ عَدْنٍ يَدْخُلُونَهَا - There will be gardens of Jannah forever living in it. And everyone who was righteous from their parents, and from their spouses, and from their children. They will be together, and the angels will be coming in from every door. And the angels will be saying to the family, سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ - May peace be unto you, because you were all patient. فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى الدَّارِ - What a beautiful abode there is.
O Muslims, of the blessings of Jannah is that families are together in Jannah. And no matter what your own level was, as long as you get there with some level of piety. Allah says, don't worry. If your mother was good, your father was good, أَلْحَقْنَا بِهِمْ - We will raise you up to be at their level. So you do your best to be good. And of the greatest good you can do is to show birr and ihsan to your mother, to your father while they're alive, and after they're deceased.
May Allah bless all of us to be righteous children. May Allah bless our parents who are still alive, that they die upon iman and taqwa, and that those that have gone on, that they're entered into firdaws al-a'la.
O servants of Allah, indeed Allah commanded you with something that He began with Himself, seconded with His holy angels, and thirded with you, O believers from among jinn and mankind. He said, and exalted is the One who says, knowing:
O servants of Allah, indeed Allah commands justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. Remember Allah the Great - He will remember you. And thank Him and He will increase you. And the remembrance of Allah is greater. And establish the prayer.