The Best Way to Define Responsibility with Shaykh Waleed Basyouni

The Best Way to Define Responsibility

الحمد لله وحده، والصلاة والسلام على من لا نبي بعده، نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلّم اللهم تسليماً كثيراً. اللهم صلّ وسلّم وبارك على نبينا محمد.

أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له، وأشهد أن محمداً عبده ورسوله.

All praise is due to Allah, and his praise, and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, his family, his companions, and his followers until the Day of Judgment. I bear witness that Allah is the only one worthy of worship, and Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, is his last and final messenger.

My dear brothers and sisters, today I would like to speak to you about a subject that I consider is a fundamental concept in our religion. And actually it is a very important character trait that any successful man or woman in any area in life must adhere to, must have — which is the sense of responsibility.

Being a responsible person is something so dear and so important, and there is so much emphasis on that concept in Islam. As a matter of fact, Islam calls you as an individual mukallaf — a person who is responsible. And it is interesting how Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala names us, or how the Shari'a sees us in that lens and puts us in that frame — as people who are responsible for their actions, responsible towards themselves and those who they are in charge of, and responsible for so many areas I will mention soon.

The price of greatness is responsibility. In order for you to be successful in this life and the next — in religious matters and in worldly matters — you have to have that sense of responsibility. You feel that people can rely on you. Becoming a responsible person means being able to consciously make decisions and conduct behavior that seeks to improve oneself — him or her — as well as others. And most importantly, a responsible person accepts the consequences of their own actions. That's what responsibility means. It means to be more honest, more reliable, more independent. It means that you care for others more than you care to take credit or be famous.

Responsibility is not only about big things. Some people say, "Wait until the big things come." Actually, responsible people will feel the sense of responsibility even toward the smallest task that they are given.

And if you study the life of the Sahabah, radiallahu anhum, one of the great things about them is that whenever they took on something, they had that great sense of responsibility towards the religion, towards the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, towards this Deen — and that's why they delivered it perfectly to the next generation, and that practice continues until today.

Responsible people — in a simple word, I can say — are by nature leaders. Because that's what leadership is all about in my opinion.

The Quranic Foundation of Responsibility

There is a sense of responsibility for us as Muslims as we grow up reading the Quran and learning from the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, telling us that there is a responsibility towards the religion, towards the Shari'a of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

Allah says that the responsibility of this religion was carried by human beings — carried by man.

And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said that on the Day of Judgment you will be stopped, and you will be asked. On that Day, each and every one will meet Allah individually — you will meet your Creator individually — and He will ask you. Because that is a responsibility He put on your shoulder: towards many things, and most importantly towards your religion.

Areas of Responsibility in Islam

And also towards your family — each and every one of you is responsible, and each one will be asked about his or her own household, your own family. You will be asked about them. You will be asked about your relatives.

In Islam, it is an obligation — if I have a maternal or paternal uncle and he is in need of help, it is my obligation to help. If I have a brother, if I have siblings, if I have cousins — according to the strongest opinion leaned toward by the Shaykh of Islam — he said even distant relatives like cousins and nephews and those of that nature: if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given you the ability to help them, you are obligated to offer help to them.

There is a responsibility towards your neighbors, towards your society. There is even a responsibility upon us towards this earth that we are living in. We are responsible to keep it functioning, to keep it protected. And there are tons of narrations, tons of ahadith, we can bring from the Seerah of the Prophet ﷺ to serve this purpose.

There is also in Islam responsibility upon our shoulders towards the future. You are responsible for the next generation as well — our children, our grandchildren, and the generations that come after — to make sure that we deliver to them a world in a better state than what we received.

Key Points to Reflect Upon

Here I would like to share some important points regarding the concept of responsibility. Each area deserves its own khutbah and talk, but here is something to reflect upon as you leave today.

1. Responsibility is an Honor, Not a Burden

Feeling that you are a person of responsibility, and that you have responsibility on your shoulder, is not a burden. Being responsible and taking responsibility is not a burden. It's actually an honor. It's a strength. It's the way to be a person of value. Because your value is not measured in the time of comfort, in the area of comfort, where you're standing in your comfort zone. No —

Your value comes in the time of test, in the time of responsibility. Taking responsibility — that is where your power lives.

2. Responsibility Differs Yet Is Shared by All

Responsibility is different from one person to another, but we all share certain types of responsibilities. There's no doubt. Towards the religion, towards the Deen — the scholars, the students of knowledge, the imams have responsibilities that are different from the rest of the average person in the community. But still, the average person in the community has a responsibility upon their shoulders.

There is a responsibility upon the shoulders of the rich, but also upon the poor. That's why the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, ordered even the people who have low income to give and to spend. I see a sense of responsibility in zakat al-fitr in Ramadan — even the poor give. He might receive zakat al-fitr, but still he is obligated to give zakat al-fitr. He gives to someone else who is poor — to create that sense of: "I am also responsible towards this society."

The father has responsibilities. The mother has responsibilities. Children have responsibilities. Uncles, community members — the boss has a responsibility, the managers — but also the employees have responsibilities. Rulers and leaders have responsibilities towards their countries, but also citizens. An average person has a responsibility towards the community. People in security have a responsibility towards security. But we all know: if you see something, say something — because that is a general responsibility upon all of us as a society.

I find this interesting:

There is a responsibility upon us individually, and there is a responsibility upon us collectively. That's why Allah said:

Help one another in good. Allah says:

You are the best nation because collectively we are ordering people to do good and we stop evil.

The believing men and women are the aid and support to one another. There is a collective responsibility upon us as a society. And I found it interesting that most of the success in this worldly life actually relies on that type of responsibility.

As for the personal one — on the Day of Judgment:

Each and every soul will be held responsible for their own earning.

You are responsible for your actions. No one will help you with them.

3. Be Honest with Yourself and Build a Sense of Obligation

Responsibility means being honest with yourself and having a sense of obligation. You have to build that sense of obligation — that feeling of "I need to do that. I feel the responsibility. I feel the sense of obligation." But if you don't feel it, you're never going to do it.

Somebody came to me and said, "Shaykh, I see you doing construction — building classes back there. What can I do?" Somebody said, "Maybe I can donate some extra money this week or this month." Somebody said, "If you need any help, look me in the eye." That's a sense of responsibility. Somebody said, "I feel that this area needs help and I can offer." Yeah — I feel it. I don't say somebody else will do it. No, that's me. I need to do that. That sense of obligation upon me — it's an honor, it's a power, it elevates you.

And also, being honest with yourself about what exactly you can do — so you cannot take a responsibility for something you can't fulfill, but also so you don't say "I can't do that" while in fact you are more than capable of doing so. Responsibility — if you reflect upon these two concepts — they are very much related to that larger concept.

4. Admitting Mistakes Takes Courage

I found that a responsible person is one who has the ability to admit when they have made a mistake or when they are wrong. Responsible people find it easier to say, "You know what, I will take responsibility for the consequences of my actions. I'm wrong. I will admit it." It takes guts. It takes humility to admit mistakes. Admitting we are wrong is courage — not weakness. And I think that is one of the basic concepts of being responsible.

5. Be Consistent — Avoid Procrastination

A responsible person is also someone who is consistent — with themselves and with others. Hypocrites don't take responsibility. They run away from responsibility. They drop the ball all the time. And we are the opposite of hypocrites.

Being consistent is one of the things that can genuinely help you if you want to improve your ability to be a responsible person: start a routine and keep up with it. Some people cannot maintain a routine because they cannot hold a sense of responsibility. "Every day at this time I am going to commit to doing this" — that's very hard for them. And if you notice how the religious structure is actually designed to build this sense of responsibility — the five daily prayers, every day; certain months; fasting the month of Ramadan, also on time. Don't be late.

Responsible people — among all their character traits — I found that they are on time. If a person is always late, always missing their deadlines, not submitting their work on time, paying bills late — those things are a sign of not being a responsible person. A responsible person cares about these things: meeting their deadlines, no procrastination.

Procrastination — it's amazing how common it is. One day I was telling my daughter, "It's due tomorrow." She said, "You mean it's not due today?" I said, "No, it's due tomorrow — not due today." Some people, when it comes to procrastination... I'm guilty of that sometimes. I remember my mother-in-law told me long ago that I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said to her, "Just wait." In a serious note — procrastination is an enemy of being responsible.

6. Don't Let Emotions Control You

A responsible person does not let their emotions control them. Sometimes — I admit — it is very hard to control your emotions. But at least don't let them control you. Don't let them get in your way and stop you from fulfilling your responsibilities.

It is something very common today: "Why didn't you?" "I don't feel good today." "I don't feel like going to school." "I don't feel like doing my homework." "I don't feel like doing this." That's something that can take you very far away from being a responsible person. I validate emotions — I understand that we go through different emotions, ups and downs. But remember: you might not be able to control your emotions, but don't let them control you and stop you from fulfilling your responsibilities.

May Allah give us tawfiq in this dunya.

اللهم صلِّ على محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلّم. قولوا ما سمعتم واستغفروا الله.

Second Khutbah: The Responsibility Towards the Next Generation

الحمد لله وحده، والصلاة والسلام على من لا نبي بعده.

I don't have time for the next point, but the next point — I promise — it needs its own khutbah. Which is this: when it comes to responsibilities, we have to start thinking seriously — as individuals, as families, as a community, as a nation — about the next generation.

Yes, I see great things in the next generation. But I also see a great threat. As a matter of fact, somebody wrote that one of the greatest threats for the United States is actually the coming generations. They are the biggest group that has ever existed in the history of America — about 80 million. And that generation — as much as people criticize it — I see a lot of khair, a lot of good in it, a lot of great things. But there are also a lot of things that need to be looked at carefully. And we have to be very careful about how Generation Z and the generations coming after, and all the generations in between — what kind of life and what kind of character they will have as they grow.

This is something we should talk about more. We should take care of our children — what kind of children, what kind of generations we are going to have. Because that is what will ensure the continuity of whatever great things we are enjoying and have today.

Many people complain — and one of the biggest things I see, at work, at home, in many of the divorces and failed marriages that I deal with — the number one reason I can tell you is: nobody wants to take a sense of responsibility. He is playing games all day. He doesn't go to school. It is scary how things are today.

People between the ages of 18 and 29 — there are more people in that age group living with their parents than with a spouse. And the numbers are now getting older — that was in 2012. Now I see some studies even transitioning into the age of 30s living with their parents, and it has become a common thing. There is a rule upstairs: as long as they contribute like $500, pay the phone, pay the lease car — that's it. No desire to get any job.

Do you know that a study was made in which three times as many middle school girls said they want to grow up to be a personal assistant for a famous person than to be a senator of the United States? And four times as many would pick an assistant job over being a CEO of a major corporation. Among males — as a matter of fact — 60% said they would rather not have a hard job over a job that is hard but requires responsibilities. 60% of people in their 20s today. It's scary.

Millions received so many participation trophies growing up that a recent study showed that 40% believe they should be promoted every two years regardless of performance. The report about narcissism — the numbers are staggering. People in their 20s are three times higher on narcissism scales than those in their 60s. 58% more college students scored higher on a narcissism scale in 2009 than in the 1980s.

And these numbers, by the way, are not only among wealthy kids. Actually, it is interesting to know that poor millions have even higher rates of narcissism, materialism, and technology addiction than those who are rich kids living in the suburbs. But as I said, that requires its own special talk.

We are facing a real challenge regarding the younger generations. Yes — the millennials are the children of the baby boomers, who are well known as the "me generation," and who then produced what some call the "me, me, me" generation — that selfishness, that obsession with technology, that lack of a sense of responsibility, that extreme individualism.

They said the baby boomer generation was told: "What do you do with a lemon?" The answer was, "If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it." And Generation X said, "I will take the lemon, make lemonade, sell it, start a small business, then the business grows, then I put it online, then I become a millionaire." And when the millennials were asked, they said, "Who will give you a lemon anyway? Everybody lives for himself."

But again, I don't believe in criticizing a generation at all. There is a challenge, and there is a way to address some of these problems — but we have to admit it, face it, and know how to deal with it. And I hope through a series of lectures and talks we can touch on some of these things that we need to work on collectively as families. Especially — invest in your children, in the next generation coming. That is so important. It must be a concern for all of us — especially teaching how to be responsible.

May Allah Almighty fix our situation, fix our children, fix our families.

O Allah, forgive us and have mercy on us. Adorn us with the adornment of noble character. Make us guided and a source of guidance. Give us what is good for us, and protect us from our own evil. O Allah, send blessings and peace and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family.