Staying Within the Boundaries of Islam - Shaykh Zakaullah Saleem

Khutbah Opening

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ

Amma ba'd — Indeed the best of speech is the Book of Allah, and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad ﷺ, and the worst of matters are those newly invented, and every newly invented matter is a bid'ah, and every bid'ah is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Fire.

The Meaning of Islam: Submission Within Boundaries

Dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam, the deen that Allah has chosen for us is the religion of Islam, and the word Islam means that you submit yourself — you submit your will — to Allah. And Rasulullah ﷺ has explained it in a very beautiful way in which he ﷺ said:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 13720; also referenced in similar wording in other collections)

The Prophet ﷺ says: the believer, the Muslim, is like a camel that is reined — if anyone makes the camel walk, the camel walks, and whenever the camel is instructed by its master to stop, it stops. This is the meaning of being a believer and being a Muslim.

Allah says in the Quran:

O you who believe, do not put yourself before Allah and His Messenger ﷺ — do not proceed ahead of Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. Meaning that Allah and His Messenger ﷺ have drawn the boundaries for the Muslims to remain within, as part of the religion and part of the deen. So when it comes to even our worldly matters, we have to stay within the boundaries of Islam.

Unfortunately, sometimes we find Muslims who cross those boundaries with some lame excuses. In today's khutbah I would like to draw your attention to some of those actions and practices that are commonly practised among the Muslims unfortunately, but which Islam does not approve of. These are practices particularly related to half of the deen, half of faith, half of iman — which is none other than marriage and nikah.

Rasulullah ﷺ has said that nikah and marriage for a believer is half of his faith and iman. And the Prophet ﷺ has also said: "Nikah is my sunnah." What is the difference between the nikah and the marriage of a Muslim and other than Muslims? The main difference is that for the Muslim, marriage and nikah is not just simply a worldly matter — rather it is part of the deen, it is part of the religion, and it is the sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ. And by this short and concise statement — "Nikah is my sunnah, my practice" — the Prophet ﷺ has given the nikah a special status within the deen of Allah. So it has to be conducted according to the teachings and the practices of Rasulullah ﷺ.

Issue One: Forced Marriage

One of the common practices that we find amongst the Muslims — or you can say some so-called Muslim tribes or families — is forced marriage. Forced marriage, which in reality has nothing to do with the deen of Allah. Allah did not give the authority to the parents or the guardians of the groom or bride to force them to get married to someone they are not willing to. In fact, the consent and the agreement of the marriage and the nikah from both sides — from the groom and bride — is the main element of the nikah. And if a daughter or son are forced to get married to someone they are not willing to, Islam has allowed them to cancel that marriage.

Unfortunately, it is practised by some so-called Muslim tribes or families, and such Muslims give a bad name to the deen of Allah. In reality it has nothing to do with the deen, with the religion of Islam — Islam does not approve of this.

Unfortunately, we find that those who practise this bad practice have the excuse that they want to get their daughter or son married to someone within the family so that they can strengthen the bonds of the family, relatives, and relationships — which is a completely lame excuse. Has Allah and His Messenger ﷺ allowed you or instructed you to strengthen the bonds of relationship and relatives by forcing your own son and daughter to get married to someone they are not willing to? No, not at all.

A lady came to the Prophet ﷺ and she said: "O Messenger of Allah, my father got me married to someone I was not willing to — is my nikah valid?" The Prophet ﷺ said: "It is up to you. If you want to honour the decision of your father, you can stay within this nikah; otherwise you can cancel it." And she said: "I just wanted to establish the ruling — I just wanted to know the ruling with regards to this kind of situation, whether the father or the wali or the guardian has any right or any authority to force their daughter and son to get married to someone they are not willing to." So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ clearly said to her that her nikah can be cancelled if she is not in agreement with it.

But unfortunately, we still find — even living in this time and age that is known as the modern time — some parents who continue forcing their children to get married to someone within the family, just with the excuse that they want to strengthen the bonds of relationship and relatives, which is not acceptable by the deen of Allah.

Issue Two: Unlawful Practices at Wedding Gatherings

Exchanging Gold Rings

Secondly, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, when it comes to the actual wedding and the marriage party — the gathering — unfortunately we find amongst the Muslims many practices that completely and clearly contradict the teachings of Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. One of them is exchanging the gold ring amongst the bride and groom, whereas according to Islam, it is prohibited for men to wear gold — it is not permissible. But unfortunately again, people say: "This is an occasion of happiness and joy, so it is okay — it is only once in a lifetime."

Has Allah and His Messenger ﷺ allowed you to cross the boundaries of the Shari'ah, to cross the boundaries of Islam, only once in your lifetime? No. Rasulullah ﷺ says:

(Al-Arba'in al-Nawawiyyah, Hadith 41; referenced in Ibn Abi 'Asim's Kitab al-Sunnah)

None of you can be a true believer until and unless their desires are according to — and under — the commandment of Allah and the teachings of Rasulullah ﷺ.

Free Mixing, Music, and Dance

Likewise, we find in many of the weddings that there is no segregation — there is free mixing — and on top of this there is music and sometimes dance, and these kinds of things that have nothing to do with the deen of Allah.

Remember, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, a principle: Allah and His Messenger ﷺ did not simply prohibit adultery and fornication — rather the deen of Islam has actually closed all the doors and channels that lead towards adultery and fornication. This is the reason that we have hijab within the deen of Islam. This is the reason that Allah and His Messenger ﷺ have created many barriers in that way, so that people can stay away from this major sin.

Allah says in the Quran:

Allah did not say in this ayah "do not commit fornication" — rather He said "do not go closer." So Allah has instructed us to even keep all those doors and channels closed that can lead to fornication and adultery. This is the reason that we have segregation in our gatherings.

Compulsory Gifts (Nendra / Nyandra)

Likewise, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, another practice that we find on the occasions of marriage and weddings is compulsory gifts. I personally do not know about the other cultures, but I know about the Asian culture. Within the Asian culture there is something that is called nendra or nyandra — which is a compulsory gift. Compulsory gift means that if I invited you to the marriage or wedding of my daughter and you gave some kind of gift to my daughter at the occasion of the wedding, then in the future, if your daughter is going to get married and you invite me for the wedding, I have to give a similar kind of gift or even higher in value.

And some people go even overboard. We have seen in some of the weddings that a person is sitting by the door of the marriage hall and he has a record of the whole family — all the relatives who had attended the previous wedding — and he keeps calling the names one by one, and everyone comes and they have to hand over the gifts in the form of cash or gift or whatever. Again, this is something that has nothing to do with the deen of Allah.

Extravagance and Wastefulness

Another bad practice that we find at the occasion of weddings is extravagance — when it comes to arranging the food, or other than food, for example fireworks. How much money, how much wealth is actually burnt and wasted on fireworks? Whereas Rasulullah ﷺ has said that the nikah that has the greatest of blessings, the nikah that has the most blessings, is the nikah that is conducted in a simple way.

And especially when it comes to extravagance — this is something that Allah has clearly prohibited in the Quran:

Give your relatives their due rights, and give the poor and the needy their due rights. Do not spend wastefully — those who spend their wealth wastefully, they are the brothers of the shayateen and the devils. To that extent Islam has disallowed and prohibited extravagance.

Even when it comes to arranging the food — how many weddings have we attended where people actually waste the food? Living in this country, we must be thankful to Allah that He has granted us security and safety and provision and everything. Imagine and think about those who are living in tents in the winter, in the hot weather, and they have nothing to eat or drink. Alhamdulillah, the good thing is that the Muslims living in the UK donate a lot of wealth in the way of Allah in order to help those Muslims and other than Muslims around the globe. But when it comes to your own practices, my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, you also need to bear in mind that Allah has prohibited israf and tabdheer.

The Purpose of Allah's Legislation: Our Own Benefit

But dear brothers and sisters in Islam, when it comes to practising the deen of Allah, we should bear in mind that all these restrictions and legislations and laws of Allah are for our own benefit. As Allah says in the Quran in Surah Al-Ma'idah — the surah that begins with some of the crucial instructions and legislations — Allah says:

By putting these legislations in place, Allah does not want to put any kind of difficulty on you — rather He wants to purify you and keep you safe and secure and pure. This is the whole reason of practising the deen of Allah.

May Allah give us tawfiq and ability, and may Allah give us tawfiq to act upon His commandment in which He says:

O you who believe, enter into the deen of Islam completely. So follow the deen of Allah the way Allah is pleased with.