2014-11-07 - Friday Prayer - Sheikh Khalil Abdul Rashid (1st prayer)

Am I My Brother's Keeper? — Supporting Families with Special Needs

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

The Story of Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum

Alhamdulillah. He said: "O Messenger of Allah, teach me something of what Allah has taught you." Because he is blind, he does not notice. The majlis of the Prophet ﷺ — he doesn't notice who is there. And he repeats his request several times. "O Messenger of Allah, teach me a little of what Allah has taught you. O Messenger of Allah, teach me a little of what Allah has taught you."

And the Prophet ﷺ was trying to convince some of those Quraysh leaders. Because he knew that if they came into the fold of Islam, many, many, many others would come into the fold of Islam. Also, the job would be easy — if I get the leaders, the community follows. Done.

And so his focus was with those that are leaders, those that are wealthy, because all of them were rich and wealthy. Those that are prominent. And when the poor blind man — whose name is Abdullah, Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum رضي الله تعالى عنه — came to him and repeated his request, interrupting the Prophet's kalaam ﷺ, the Prophet ﷺ turned to him and frowned — out of being interrupted. He was focused ﷺ on trying to achieve his objective.

And the moment he frowned at this man who had a special need — one could argue he was a special needs person. And one could also argue that he had a special need, actually. A special need to learn the words of Allah, the hukm of Allah, the hikmah of Allah from Rasulullah ﷺ.

Immediately Allah stepped in. As if — imagine if we are talking as human beings — think of it from a different level when you are pointing out what somebody is doing: "You see that? You see what he did? He frowned. You see that? He frowned and he turned away. He put his focus elsewhere. And then because the blind man — the man with special needs — came to him."

"He frowned and turned away because there came to him the blind man. And what would make you know — perhaps he might be purified. Or perhaps he would be reminded and the reminder would benefit him."

How do you know? What makes you think that he will be any less deserving of the purifying message than the ones you are talking to?

Perhaps the message — perhaps he may remember it better than them. Perhaps it may benefit the blind man better than him. Allah gave a reprimand to the Prophet ﷺ about that action. And after that reprimand, the Prophet ﷺ got the message, and sought not only to convey that message but to implement that message.

That message is this: We do not turn our back on people in our Ummah, and people in general, with special needs.

The Prophet's Response: "Welcome to the One My Lord Used to Correct Me"

After that event, every time the Prophet ﷺ would see Abdullah ibn Maktum — because Abdullah ibn Maktum did not and could not see the Prophet ﷺ — after the Prophet saw him, whenever he saw him, he would say ﷺ:

"Welcome, welcome to the one whom my Lord has used to reprimand and correct me. Welcome to that person." Not: "Oh, let me stay away from him — he got me in trouble." Not: "This person interrupted me and Allah got upset with me, I am not going to talk to him anymore." Marhaba. Welcome.

And then after that he would say:

"Do you need anything? Do you need anything?"

After that, the Prophet ﷺ — on not one but two occasions, when he would leave Medina — he appointed Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum as Khalifa of Medina. Not once, but twice. Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum was put as Khalifa of Medina by Rasulullah ﷺ while he was alive. The Prophet appointed him — استَخْلَفَهُ — the Prophet ﷺ put him as Khalifa over Medina when he was absent on two occasions, not one.

And when the Prophet ﷺ was in Medina, when Bilal ibn al-Harith did not call the Adhan, Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum was the standing second Mu'adhdhin of Medina.

The point of the lesson is that the Prophet ﷺ took this individual with special needs, and not only did he never turn his back on him, but he made sure that he was no longer behind the Ummah. He put him in front. He allotted a place for him, changed his behavior with him, and demanded the Ummah listen and follow him.

Am I My Brother's Keeper?

There's a word in English — when you take care of something, when I give you something and I have to travel, I say: "Would you take this for safe keepings? Would you keep this for me? Put it in safe keepings." The word "to keep" in English means to have something, to hold it as an amanah. And when you have that thing as a keeping, you put it in a safe place. The person who holds that amanah is called a keeper. Even women, when they find a good husband, they say he's a keeper — he takes care of his amanah.

Our Prophet ﷺ taught us to be keepers of those individuals that have special needs. The question is: Am I my brother's keeper? Am I my sister's keeper?

Making Space — The Quranic Command

Keeping in our tradition involves first making space. O people of Iman, O people of Hidayah, O people of Tawfiq, O people of belief — when you are asked, when you are requested to make space in your gatherings — i.e. when people come to you and ask to be included, to make room, to include them — Allah says:

Make space. Include them. Allah will make room for you. You include somebody who is out in the community and nobody helped him — you bring him in — Allah will bring you in. Bring you in where? Into Jannah.

And when you are asked to stand up — when you are asked to rise to the occasion, when you are asked to support, when you are asked not to turn your back but to move your legs, to stand up — so rise. When families with special needs children come to you for help, rise to the occasion. When you stand up, when you support them, when you turn yourselves to them, Allah will raise you up. He'll raise you up because you have iman and because you do it in the right way — because you have ilm. He will raise you not one daraja but darajat — levels and degrees.

Our first task in being our brother's keeper and our sister's keeper is to make space for them in our gatherings. To make a place for them in the masjid. To make a place for them in the community. To make a place for them in all of the programs of the masjid. To include them.

But we cannot include them and we cannot tell them our doors are open when in reality our doors are not open. We cannot say "come on in" and then when the family brings in their child in the wheelchair, say: "Oh, you know, you can't bring the wheelchair into the masjid." How is the child to get in? Are you going to carry the child? Of course the wheelchair has to come into the masjid. Of course you roll the wheelchair into the masjid. Of course you put the wheelchair in the musalla. Of course that child is in the wheelchair in the musalla. Of course.

You open up your doors and you let them in. The other dimension — the other point — is that as communities we have to do everything we can to provide doors that are actually open.

The Example of Umar ibn al-Khattab

Umar ibn al-Khattab رضي الله عنه — while he was Khalif — was on the road and he noticed a man whose leg was longer than the other. The man was having a lot of trouble walking, because he was leading his donkey who had the same ailment — subhanAllah. The man was limping because one leg was longer than the other. And the donkey was limping because one leg was longer than the other three. The donkey was carrying the bags of the man.

Sayyidina Umar رضي الله عنه looked at this and was shocked. The man noticed he was shocked, so he limped over to Sayyidina Umar — who is the Khalif, mind you — and said: "You are the ra'i — you are the shepherd — and we are the ra'iya — we are the flock, we are under your supervision. On this day, my day is hard for me. It's hard for me to walk, and this day is hard for my animal. Because no one helps me." He said: "But tomorrow — the hisab of tomorrow — will be harder for you. Because you do nothing. You are a Khalifa, you are in a position of responsibility. There are people in need. We are having a tough time today. But your hard day is coming tomorrow."

Sayyidina Umar said: لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ. That was his response. He got up, took the packs off the animal — this is our Khalif — ran back, grabbed the animal and grabbed the man and helped him walk.

Mu'adh ibn Jabal and the Ottoman Waqf System

Look who his teacher was. The same ailment happened, according to the biography of Mu'adh ibn Jabal — it is mentioned that he was an a'raj, someone who has one leg longer than the other, who cannot walk straight, who needs help in walking. But the Prophet ﷺ sent him as governor to Yemen. And he said: "Mu'adh is the most knowledgeable in the halal and the haram."

The Ottomans — I lived in Turkey for several years — they have awqaf that are connected to the awqaf of the Ottoman Empire. The Ottomans used to have awqaf that took care of all the blind in their community. And from the Bayt al-Mal — from the treasury — the Ottomans appointed and portioned out salaries. They hired men for men and women for women, whose job it was from Fajr to Isha to go and accompany the blind person — and they were paid by the state.

You know, in this country they use seeing-eye dogs. Our Muslims used seeing-eye people. Human beings. That person could talk to them. That person could walk with them. That person could be a source of comfort for them. There was sohbah that was established — brotherhood and sisterhood. They kept them. That was who they are.

What about me? What about us? Am I my brother's keeper? Am I my sister's keeper?

The Caregiver's Burden — and the Community's Responsibility

The other side of that is as parents. Sometimes parents who have children with special needs — and it's not even just about children. Sometimes parents are dealing with their own parents. Or their own brothers or sisters. Or their uncles or their aunts who are in their care. Those parents are caregivers of their parents, or of their uncles, and those adults have special needs.

And so as a caregiver — as a Muslim caregiver, as family members with special needs — sometimes we feel ashamed. Sometimes we keep them away. We tend to think that it's better to hide them, to keep them outside the eyes of the community. We don't want our brothers and sisters to know our mother has Alzheimer's. Our father has a mental illness. Our uncle is in a wheelchair, cannot feed himself or go to the bathroom by himself. A child has Down syndrome. A sister has cancer. We feel, for some reason — embarrassed. Ashamed. Alone.

The duties and the stress, the responsibilities — the burden that is on these families is tremendous. It's physically destructive, being a parent, being a caregiver of someone with special needs. It's emotionally isolating — you feel people don't want to hear your problems. It's financially destructive and hard — it costs money. To get medications, pay for therapies, go to doctor's visits, adjust your home, remodel your home because there's a special needs case, buy the wheelchair, all kinds of things.

And then you go to the masjid and ask for help but the masjid turns you away. Most importantly, it's spiritually draining. Which is the biggest reason why the masajid must open up our doors. We must be a resource for these families.

Receiving Difficult News — The Test of Qadr

Imagine you as a parent — you and your wife, you and your husband — go to the doctor for your first ultrasound. You just found out you're pregnant. Joy. Overwhelmed. Now you get that ultrasound and get the results of that genetic test. The doctor tells you your child is going to be born with a club foot. Is going to have Down syndrome. Is going to be born with a hole in their heart. Is going to live and breathe fine — but because of a genetic abnormality that you have no control over — your child will not walk. Will not speak. Or will be fine for the first ten years of life, but after that, you can expect to watch them slowly deteriorate. And they will live out the rest of their remaining adult years in a wheelchair.

You get that news. And the thought occurs: maybe we should not bring this living child into the world. Maybe we should spare them the suffering. It will cost too much anyway. Then the second thought occurs: "Why would Allah do this? Where is Allah?" That's the second thought. The third thought comes: "Why me?" — as if Allah singled you out to do injustice.

Do you want to pass out the mercy of Allah? You are not the ones that distribute the mercy and take care of the lives of these people — that is Allah's domain. Some of you have to be keepers of others. Some of you are better than others because you are supposed to keep them. You are supposed to make a way for them. You are supposed to include them, not turn them away.

But you decide to bring that child into this world. And then when that child is born — it might not be able to see, may not hear, might have a genetic deformity — but you take one look at that little blessing and you say: "There is no way on earth I would change the qadr in any way." That is the mu'min. I'll take whatever comes. Because you know that Allah gave her to you. Because you are the only one that would inspire her to live. But you must let her live. And you must support your brothers and sisters who are keepers.

We must not look at anyone as if they are disabled. But if we cannot and do not help them, then the question is — who is really disabled?

The Special Needs Qur'an Program at Our Masjid

Am I my brother's keeper? Am I my sister's keeper? I'm proud — Alhamdulillah — humbly proud. And so our brothers and sisters who have worked hard for this — to say that we — this is the first time I can honestly say something like this: we have a Qur'an program for special needs families in this masjid.

We have 13 children. Thirteen. Some of them drive more than two hours to this masjid. They are in the special needs Qur'an program. Between the ages of 5 and 27. That's a big deal. That's a big deal.

We have two teachers: Sister Ira, who has done her work in clinical psychology, and Hafiz Murtada, who is one of our own graduates — who are the lead teachers. We have two assistant teachers: Sister Sumaya Haq, who is an assistant to Sister Ira, and Brother Imran, who is an assistant to Hafiz Murtada. May Allah bless them and reward them for their time and their sacrifice. And were it not for them, there would not be a space that is made.

The Hadith Qudsi: The Innocent and the Weak

Do you know there is a Hadith Qudsi where Allah says:

(Reported in Musnad Ahmad and other collections; authenticated by al-Albani)

"O child of Adam — if it were not for the innocent ones and the weak ones that are with you — I would seal up the heavens and I would dry up the earth because of your sins. And it would not rain and no food would grow." But for the existence of the innocent and the weak. So when we make space for them, we incur the rahma — the added rahma — of Allah.

Conclusion: The First Khalifa of Rasulullah ﷺ

So I will close with the first question: Who was the first Khalifa of Rasulullah ﷺ? The blind man — Abdullah ibn Maktum. The man with special needs. Nobody had to vote for him. The Prophet ﷺ appointed him.

The final hadith which I will leave you with is the one I quoted in the beginning — where Anas ibn Malik narrates that the Prophet ﷺ said that Allah said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5653)

"When I decide to test My servant with the two things he loves most, and he decides to remain patient — as a substitute for those two things that he loved that I tested him with, I give him Jannah."

Those two things — the two beloved things in the hadith — they mean the eyes. When Allah takes the eyes from someone — the two things he loves most — the taking of the eyesight is Allah's way of substituting Jannah for that. I take this, I give that.

So let us not frown at the blind for what they have lost — for they have gained something tremendous. Let us not frown with our mouths or with our hearts. Let us not frown at those that have lost their hearing — for they may have lost their hearing, but Allah has substituted Jannah for it. Let us not frown at those that have lost their mobility. At those that have lost their mental capacity. For what Allah takes, He gives profoundly.

Our task is not to frown. Our best way to Allah is the Quranic paradigm — for how to deal, and how to encounter, and how to support, and how to stand up for families with special needs. When we realize that our job is not to put them in the back, but to put them up front — to make them priorities in our lives and in our communities. To involve them and to include them. When we elevate them, and we understand that Allah has tested them — and if we may be elevated through elevating them — then we will grow as a community, we will thrive as an Ummah, and we will see change in our condition.

May Allah give us Tawfiq to help each other and to be our brothers' and our sisters' keeper.