2015-02-27 - People with Special Needs - Sheikh Khalil Abdul Rashid

Adab with Allah and His Messenger

Allah says, seeking refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan:

O people of iman, O people of faith — do not put yourselves, do not prioritize yourself before Allah and His Messenger. And be mindful of Allah. Fear Allah. Be ever conscious of the presence of Allah. Indeed, Allah hears all things and knows all things.

The context of this verse — this ayah — was revealed as the first verse in Surat al-Hujurat in the Quran, the chapter which teaches us about etiquette with the Prophet ﷺ. When the Prophet ﷺ would speak, sometimes out of the zealousness and eagerness of the companions, they would interrupt him. Sometimes when the Prophet ﷺ would walk, on some occasions, some of the companions would walk in front of him. Sometimes when they would be eating together — when the plate is put in front of them, the ma'idah is set, the Prophet ﷺ is sitting there — some of them would begin to eat before the Prophet ﷺ began to eat.

All of these behaviors — walking in front of the Prophet ﷺ, eating before the Prophet ﷺ, interrupting the Prophet ﷺ — all of these external behaviors are produced from an internal state, a certain level of spiritual misunderstanding. That in all things, be it dunyawi — material, secular, eating, drinking — and in our ta'amil, in our relationship with the Prophet ﷺ, we are not to advance our own selves in any way. We are not to put ourselves before the actions of the Prophet ﷺ. Don't advance yourself, don't prioritize your own needs, whether it's individual or family or community. Don't give precedence to yourself over and above him and his message ﷺ. And be mindful that Allah hears everything and knows everything.

This ayah changed the adab of the sahabas with the Prophet ﷺ. When this ayah came down, it reformed their conduct. They never walked in front of the Prophet ﷺ. They never ate before the Prophet ﷺ started to eat. When the Prophet ﷺ spoke, they never interrupted him. They never cut his speech. They waited until he finished, until he was silent, and then they spoke.

And this adab, this etiquette, was passed down to two types of individuals. One is the a'lam, the shaykh, the teacher — and the other are the parents. In reality, it extended first to the parents, and then, by extension of the parents — specifically the father — by extension, the teacher, the mu'allim, received that same spirit of etiquette.

And so it is disrespectful and contrary to etiquette and adab to walk in front of your father or to walk in front of your mother, or to interrupt your parents when they are speaking, or — when you are seated at the table with your parents and you are about to eat — it is considered a breach in etiquette, a breach in adab, to eat before they have started.

One of our teachers was asked by one of the students: "O Shaykh, what happens if you are sitting at the table and you are so hungry and you want to eat, and you are with your parents or your shaykh or your father, and they are busy doing something else, and the food is there — is it haram just to go ahead and take a small bite?" And the shaykh said: the adab is to say Bismillah audibly, out loud — in the name of Allah. In other words, to announce the starting of the meal. After the Bismillah is announced, people can begin eating even if the host doesn't take his first bite immediately. There is always etiquette and adab for everything.

The Five Pieces of Advice from the Prophet ﷺ

The very first thing is how we look at our relationship with the Prophet ﷺ, and then how that transforms into our relationship with other people and other places and other makhluqat, other creations of Allah. This etiquette with everything is summed up and summarized in one particular hadith of the Prophet ﷺ that I would like to share with you.

The Prophet ﷺ used to give lessons, speeches, halaqat, dars. And on one occasion, which is narrated by Abu Hurairah — the great companion of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ — he narrates that one day the Prophet ﷺ said: "Who amongst you will receive words from me and practice them? Or teach those words to someone else who will practice them?"

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2305)

Abu Hurairah said: "I will, O Messenger of Allah — I'll take these words." Then the Prophet ﷺ went to Abu Hurairah and took his hand, and he counted — finger by finger — five pieces of advice.

First: Avoid the Prohibited

"Be mindful and avoid all matters that are haram, that are prohibited — all the things that Allah said stay away from, stay away from those things. If you do that, you will be the best worshipper, the best 'abd, the best slave of Allah — you will be the best servant of Allah of all the people."

In other words, the adab, the etiquette in cultivating a relationship with Allah — just like we don't want to eat in front of our parents or walk in front of our parents — we don't want to put ourselves within the boundary of the haram with Allah. That is a breach in the etiquette.

Second: Contentment with What Allah Has Decreed

"Be content, have rida, be pleased with what Allah has apportioned for you — what He has divided and decreed for you. Be happy with that." You do 'amal, you do work with your hand, but you take your qalb and you rely on Allah to do the rest. Whatever Allah produces for you, you have rida, you have contentment with that. Whatever you are given, you show contentment with it. Whatever Allah has decreed for your condition to be, you show contentment with that.

Rida, or contentment, means that you are content internally with your heart. Your qalb is satisfied. Internally, because you don't have something or because you lost something, you are not arguing with Allah. Internally, you are not debating, fighting, frustrating, and being upset with Allah. You are at peace with what happened. You don't count your trials and tests and tribulations. You don't spend your time amassing a list of all the hard times you have and reminding yourself of that. Instead, you always choose to look at the blessings that you have. You exit the narrative of complaints. You exit the discourse of regret and remorse and envy. And you enter into the comfort zone — into the garden of complete satisfaction with what your Master has given to you.

When you do that, the Prophet ﷺ said: you will be the most enriched of people. Whether you have or not, you will be wealthy because of your contentment inside. You will train yourself not to see what you don't have; you will train yourself to see what you do have. The kanood is the one who counts what he or she doesn't have. As our teachers would remind us: up — alhamdulillah; down — alhamdulillah. Good times — alhamdulillah; tough times — alhamdulillah. Why tough times? Because it could be worse. And the fact that it's not worse is a cause to say alhamdulillah.

Allah has عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ — He has power to do everything. His qudra envelops everything. He can do anything. But Allah, who also has the power to do everything, also has His irada, His will. So because He has the qudra — the power to do anything — but He also has His irada, and His irada means that He reveals His power in the way that He wills.

He has the power to make it snow. But He reveals His irada, and His irada says: I'll make it snow today, not tomorrow — despite what your children want. They want it to snow tomorrow so they can't go to school. But Allah's irada decides when it will snow. And so He might will for you to have a child — it is within the qudra of Allah to produce a child for us — but His irada specifies His qudra. His irada says: maybe you'll have a child, but not this year, or not next year, or years later.

I had a teacher who, when he got married, he prayed to Allah for a child. For nine years, he and his wife tried to have children — nine years, no contraceptive, nothing. He went to the doctor and everything. Nine years. And he kept making du'a. He never stopped. Nine years, never stopped. Can you imagine how many of us would give up? And one day, the irada of Allah was manifest in his life — his wife was pregnant, she delivered a healthy child. The next year, she was pregnant, delivered a second healthy child. Two years later, she was pregnant again. The brother has seven sons. He waited nine years and then was blessed abundantly. That is the irada of Allah.

And that irada of Allah, that rule of Allah, manifests itself in so many ways — in our receiving blessings, and it comes to our life in the form of tests. Allah decrees a test for us. And so anything that happens in your life, in our life, in my life — it happens within the irada of Allah. And when we know that that event has happened because Allah actively, consciously, willingly chose it to be that way — how can we be displeased at our Master? How? That means our Lord thought about us and made a plan for us like that. How can we argue with Him, when in His hand belongs everything?

To try you and me. To test you and me. To see what we will do. Whether we will produce beauty and goodness from that test, or whether we will be people who just count our losses, sit around and make a checklist of all the things that Allah didn't do for us — choosing to have a conscious relationship with Allah based upon enumerating the ways that we wish He would have used His will differently. That is outside of the etiquette we must have with our Lord.

The Prophet ﷺ said: the moment you say "I wish" and "I should have" and "I could have," you've opened the door to Shaytan.

Third: Beautiful Conduct with Your Neighbor

"Have beautiful conduct with your neighbor. Do ihsan to your neighbor — you will be a mu'min."

Fourth: Love for All People What You Love for Yourself

"And love for the people — love for all people, love for everybody — what you love for yourself. You will be a Muslim." Look at that. Give virtuous conduct, sublime conduct, beautiful conduct to your neighbor — and you will be a mu'min. But then love for every single human being what you love for yourself — and you will be a Muslim.

Fifth: Do Not Laugh Excessively

"And do not laugh too much." It doesn't mean don't laugh — it means don't be excessive in your laughter, in your joking. Because when you are excessive in your laughter, you laugh all the time, you joke all the time, everything is a joke — your heart will die. It destroys the heart. It perverts the conscience. That is a khutbah separate in and of itself.

Our Relationship with Creation

The last three pieces of advice refer to our relationship with the khalq, with creation. So the Prophet ﷺ, as he is advising all of us, starts with advice on how to reform ourselves and how to remain within the generous moral and ethical and spiritual boundaries of Allah's pleasure. When we are in that boundary — when we have checked ourselves and put ourselves back in those boundaries, when we have not contravened those limits — then the Prophet ﷺ goes on to mention our relationship with the khalq, with creation, and then our relationship with ourselves.

Part of being a believer is making sure that the joys and the pleasures and the boundaries and the benefits that we have are also shared with our neighbor. When we learn to love our neighbor, to give our neighbor his or her rights, to be concerned about our neighbor who is physically next door — or even two or three doors down — when we are mindful and conscious about that relationship, when we have developed the habit of looking to our right and to our left, being concerned about what's next to us, having ihtimam and concern about the welfare and the state of those on our right and our left — then that will condition us to be concerned about the rights of all people.

It is not sufficient if I have but my brother next door to me doesn't have. And when I go out in public and walk the streets — if I have but my brother who's sitting on the street corner next to me, or if I'm passing by a particular neighborhood and there is a condition over there that is the same condition as my neighbor who is physically next to me — I must be concerned about that as well. If my relationship with Allah is really true, and I have hubb, love for Allah and His Messenger, then I must be concerned about the welfare of not just myself but everyone. That is when we become a Muslim. That's when we've got it. That's when it clicks.

When we realize that our elevation is tied and connected to our neighbor's elevation — for I cannot rise and be content while my neighbor is down and in need. And if me and my neighbor have risen and are content, then how can we be ibad of Allah while the neighbor down the street — from an immigrant community or a poor community — has needs and we have the ability to meet those needs? We may not sleep correctly. We cannot feel comfortable in our worship of Allah without doing something, without intervening. And so there is etiquette and adab with them as well.

Closing

I leave you and I leave myself with these thoughts. Let us be mindful of the ways that we mistakenly and inadvertently put ourselves in front of Allah and His Messenger. Let us be mindful of the ways that we mistakenly and inadvertently put ourselves before our neighbor — whether they are the neighbor next to us, or the neighbor in the next county, or the other neighborhood down the street from us. Let us be mindful of how we place ourselves in relation to others around us and in relation to our Khaliq.

And may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our master Muhammad and upon his family and his companions.

O servants of Allah, be mindful of Allah. Indeed, Allah commands justice and ihsan and giving to close relatives, and He forbids immorality, wrongdoing, and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.