Loving for Others What You Love for Yourself - Sheikh Zakaullah Saleem

Khutbah: Loving for Others What You Love for Yourself

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنَّ خَيْرَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللَّهِ وَخَيْرَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَشَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

Islam: A Religion of Worship and Character

My dear brothers and sisters, Allah has granted us a religion which we believe is the only religion in the sight of Allah.

The religion, the true deen in the sight of Allah is Islam.

And anyone who looks for another religion, then Allah is not going to accept from him. This is the religion, this is the deen which does not only guide us on how to perform our acts of worship — rather our deen teaches us how to deal with each other and how we should treat each other. In other words, you can say our deen does not only teach us the ibadat; rather it puts great emphasis on akhlaqiyat as well.

But in fact, if we look at the seerah of our beloved Prophet — may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him — we can clearly see that Rasulullah taught akhlaq before anything and everything. This can be a bit of a surprise for some of us, because usually what we believe or what we have heard is that the first da'wah of Rasulullah, or the first message of the Messenger of Allah, was tawheed. Yes, it is true — it was tawheed after the Prophet was granted prophethood. But before this, for 40 years, the Prophet promoted not the tawheed — before tawheed, akhlaq.

That is why when the Prophet started his message, when he started his da'wah, the first thing he said was: "I have spent 40 years of my life amongst you — if you have anything bad to say about me, then let me know." The Prophet challenged the kuffar of Mecca, the Quraish of Mecca, that: "For 40 years I have shown you my good akhlaq, good manners, and good character — and now this is the point from which I want to call you to the tawheed of Allah."

My dear brothers and sisters, this means that for a da'ee — for a true caller to the deen of Allah — it is essential, it is compulsory, it is wajib to show good akhlaq and good character before he calls others to the deen of Allah.

The Purpose of Prophethood: Perfecting Good Character

Rasulullah says in a hadith reported by Imam al-Haythami:

(Reported by Imam al-Haythami in Majma' al-Zawa'id; also found in al-Bayhaqi's Shu'ab al-Iman, Hadith 7609)

"I have been sent in order to complete and perfect the good manners." And if we know the actual Arabic, the hadith in fact means: "I have been sent only for completing the good manners." This is the sole purpose of the prophethood of Rasulullah.

And in another hadith, Rasulullah says — reported by Imam al-Tirmidhi:

(Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Book 27, Hadith 2002)

"There is nothing heavier in the scale of the true believer on the Day of Judgement than good akhlaq."

My dear brothers and sisters, let us reflect on this hadith — ponder on this hadith. The most heavy of the good deeds in our scale on the Day of Judgement will be our good akhlaq. Not salah, not siyam, not sadaqa or charity — rather the first and most important thing is good akhlaq.

Unfortunately, it has been noticed that the people who hold very good, strong, or you can say perfect aqeedah are sometimes harsh and lack good manners and akhlaq. They believe that in order to defend the tawheed of Allah, they have to be harsh, rough, and tough. This is completely against the seerah of Rasulullah.

The Hadith: None of You Is a True Believer Until...

The Prophet has taught us some basic principles and fundamentals of good akhlaq and good manners. One of them is the hadith reported by Imam al-Bukhari, on the authority of Abu Hamza Anas ibn Malik — the companion of Rasulullah who served the Messenger of Allah for ten years:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 2, Hadith 13; Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 72)

"None of you can be a true believer, none of you can be a true believer, unless or until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."

The hadith means that we cannot complete and perfect our iman unless we love for others what we love for ourselves. And the same meaning has been given in another hadith reported by Imam al-Tirmidhi, on the authority of Abu Hurairah, when Rasulullah gave him five special advices — and one of them was: "Love for others what you love for yourself, and as a result of this you will become a true Muslim."

In one hadith it is said "true believer" and in another "true Muslim." If we combine both hadiths, we cannot complete our Islam nor our iman unless we love for others whatever we love for ourselves.

My dear brothers and sisters, no doubt we have heard this hadith many times, and most of us probably know it by heart — even the Arabic text. But very few of us really try to act on this hadith, and this is probably because of not understanding the deep meaning of it. Let me highlight some of the basic points in order to understand its actual meaning.

First Point: Not Wishing Evil for Others

"None of you can complete his iman unless he loves for his brother whatever he loves for himself." This means, first of all, if you do not love any good for your fellow Muslims — rather you love for others bad and evil — then this is completely against your iman, against your aqeedah, against your Islam.

That is why Rasulullah said — three times — swearing by Allah:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 8, Hadith 6016)

"By Allah, he is not a true believer. By Allah, he is not a true believer. By Allah, he is not a true believer." The companions asked: "O Messenger of Allah, who?" The Prophet said: "The one whose neighbor is not safe from his evil."

It means: if you love any bad or any evil for your fellow Muslims, then my dear brothers and sisters, you are doing something completely against your iman and faith. That is why Rasulullah said in a very famous hadith:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 2, Hadith 10; Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 64)

"The true Muslim is the one from whose hand and tongue other Muslims are safe."

Second Point: Indifference Is Not Enough

The second point is — which many of us believe and agree with — that we should not want and should not love any bad or evil for others. But we do not love any good for others either. Can this be a means of completing the iman? No. If you do not love for others any good, even if you do not love any bad for them, still you have not completed your iman.

Third Point: Loving the Same Level of Good for Others

And the third point we can understand from this hadith is: if you love good for others, but not at the standard or level that you love for yourself — still you have not completed your iman. Because the hadith of Rasulullah says: "None of you can be a true believer, none of you can complete his or her iman, unless you love for others exactly what you love for yourself."

You have started a business, and another Muslim brother has started the same business. Now this is the point you need to judge yourself — do you really love that your fellow Muslim should be as successful in his business as you are? How many of us have this iman, this quality, this characteristic, this kind of love for our fellow Muslims? Is it not true that if we see a fellow Muslim who has started the same business we have started, we first of all want him not to be successful at all? Or, if someone is a religious and practicing Muslim, we may say: "Yes, he should be okay — I do not love any bad for him, but he should not be at least at my level."

My dear brothers and sisters, this is against the hadith of Rasulullah. That is why the Prophet said: "Allah has sent me in order to perfect and complete the good manners." And this is part of our iman — to love for others exactly what we love for ourselves.

That is why Rasulullah said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 8, Hadith 6011; Sahih Muslim, Book 45, Hadith 2586)

"The parable of the believers in their mutual love, their mutual mercy, and their mutual compassion is like one single body — if one limb or one part of the body hurts, the whole body suffers."

Not Loving for Others What You Dislike for Yourself

My dear brothers and sisters, the hadith also means: when the Prophet said "you should love for others exactly what you love for yourself," it also means that you should not love for others what you do not love for yourself. And this again is a great part of good akhlaq.

Let me give you some examples. Allah says in the Quran:

"Let not one of you backbite another." And then Allah says: "Does one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead Muslim brother? No." Which means you should not backbite any Muslim brother or sister.

My dear brothers and sisters, none of us — none of us — ever wants others to backbite him. No matter how evil or how bad he is in his akhlaq, character, or manners — whether he is a liar, a thief, a cheater, whatever he does — he does not want others to backbite him.

My dear brothers and sisters: if you do not love to be backbitten yourself, then you should not backbite others. You do not love others to swear at you — then you should not swear at anyone in the first place. You do not want others to cheat you — then you should not cheat anyone in the first place. You do not want others to lie to you — then you should not lie to anybody in the first place.

A Powerful Example from the Seerah: The Bedouin Who Asked About Zina

Rasulullah was sitting in the masjid. A Bedouin came, he had accepted Islam, and he said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have embraced Islam, I have accepted Islam as my religion, but I have one bad habit — can you please allow me to continue doing it?" And it was zina — adultery, fornication. "I have this bad habit."

Upon this, the companions of Rasulullah who were sitting in the masjid right in front of him started shouting at the man: "How dare you! You are asking for permission to do an evil deed?" But Rasulullah said: "Leave him, and let him come closer to me." And then — سبحان الله — the Prophet, due to his wisdom, asked him: "Can you repeat the question?" He repeated the question. He said: "O Messenger of Allah, allow me to commit zina."

The Prophet said: "Let me ask you some questions before I answer your question."

The Prophet said: "Do you love for your mother this bad thing? Do you love anyone to commit zina with your mother?" He said: "No, Messenger of Allah." The Prophet said: "Then no one loves for his mother to commit zina."

Then the Prophet asked him: "Do you love anyone to commit zina with your sister?" He said: "No, Messenger of Allah — no one loves it." The Prophet said: "If no one loves it, then you should not commit zina with anyone's sister."

Then the Prophet asked him: "Do you love anyone to commit zina with your daughter?" He said: "No." The Prophet said: "No one loves that anyone commits zina with his daughter."

Then the Prophet continued asking him — about his aunt, about other female relatives — and at the end, the man understood: "Yes. Because this is the evil — if I do not accept this evil and this bad act for my mother, for my sister, for my daughter, for my aunt, then how can I do the same with others? It will be someone's mother, someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's aunt. How can I like for others what I do not like for myself?"

And then at the end, Rasulullah made du'a for him:

"O Allah, forgive his sins. O Allah, purify his heart. O Allah, safeguard his chastity."

And then the companions said: "After that day, that man never ever looked at any non-mahram." He understood.

Conclusion and Du'a

My dear brothers and sisters, the true meaning of this hadith is that we should love for others exactly what we love for ourselves. May Allah give us tawfiq to rectify our mistakes. May Allah give us tawfiq and ability to complete and perfect our iman in order to complete our good akhlaq and character. May Allah give us tawfiq to act upon the teachings of Rasulullah.

We should understand the ahadith in the right way, and we should make these ahadith the basis upon which we improve our morals and our character — so that as a result, our iman is as strong as possible.