A Dua When Anxiety or Sadness Strikes

The Story Behind the Du'a: Umm Salama and Abu Salama

The Prophet taught this du'a to one of the greatest sahaba by the name of Abu Salama, and Abu Salama taught this du'a to his wife, Umm Salama رضي الله عنها. I want to give you a little background about the life of Umm Salama رضي الله عنها.

She was among very few sahaba who migrated twice — one time to Abyssinia and the other time to Al-Medina. But as she was leaving Mecca to migrate to Al-Medina along with her family — Abu Salama رضي الله عنه and Salama — the tribe of Abu Salama caught wind of this. So they actually prohibited Abu Salama and Umm Salama and Salama from migrating together. They forced Abu Salama to migrate to Al-Medina, and they sent Umm Salama and Salama back to Mecca.

That was the first hardship that Umm Salama went through. She was forced to be separated from her own husband that she loved so much. Abu Salama was such a great man with a very good character, and Umm Salama was just heartbroken — it was heartbreaking for her to process the idea that she would be separated from her own husband.

But the difficult time did not stop right there. The clan — the tribe of Abu Salama — decided to take her own son, because they said that he belongs to Abu Salama, which means he belongs to us. So they took that son away from his mother.

Imagine being separated first from your own husband, and then from your own son. What a test. What an ibtila. When you are tested with your own wealth, your own property — obviously, that's a big test. When you are tested with your own health — that's also a big test. But the test of your own children and your own spouses — this is a mighty test. It was just a very hard time for Umm Salama to try to go through.

Umm Salama رضي الله عنها was heartbroken. She actually used to go to the spot where they took away her son every single day for almost a year, and she would cry there and pray to Allah to bring her son back. Eventually, after one year, the tribe of Abu Salama — who used to observe her coming every single day to that spot, crying to Allah for her own son — Allah sent some mercy onto their hearts, and they accepted the fact that they would give her son back.

When that happened, finally Umm Salama رضي الله عنها was able to migrate with her own son to see Abu Salama رضي الله عنه in Al-Medina. But her problems, her difficulties, did not stop there. SubhanAllah — when she just got a little bit of hope, the calamity struck one more time. She now sees her own husband on his deathbed, because he received a dangerous wound during one of the battles.

The Promise and the Du'a

She said to Abu Salama: "Ya Abu Salama, let's make a promise — if one of us passes, let's make a promise that we will not remarry again." And Abu Salama looked at her and said: "I want you to remarry if I pass away. I want you to remarry someone better than me, inshallah. Allah will give you a better husband."

And then he taught her this beautiful du'a that we are going to learn together, inshallah. He said: "Ya Umm Salama, say:"

"Allahumma ujurni fi musibati" — Ya Allah, reward me for the calamity that I am going through. "Wakhlufni khayran minha" — and replace that calamity with something better.

I repeat the du'a again — a beautiful du'a, a very powerful du'a:

Allahumma ujurni fi musibati — Ya Allah, reward me for the calamity that I went through. Wakhlufni khayran minha — and give me something even better; replace it with something greater.

Unpacking the Du'a: A Psychology of Abundance

Now, if you look at this — subhanAllah — when Abu Salama passed away and Umm Salama started to make that du'a, "Ya Allah, reward me for my calamities, all of the hardships that I went through, and replace it with something better" — wallahi, looking at this, there are so many reminders and lessons that we can unpack from this du'a.

At that moment of Umm Salama رضي الله عنها, number one — she flipped the script. She went from this psychology of deprivation to a psychology of abundance. What does that exactly mean?

She did not look at herself and say: "You know what, I'm a failure. You know what, I'm a loser. You know what, it's my fault. I made wrong decisions in my life that brought me to this point." She did not blame herself. She did not point the finger at herself. She did not turn the mirror towards herself and start to blame her own self.

In fact, she thought positively about it. She said: "Ya Allah, all I want from You right now is a reward. I deserve a reward — ya Allah, give me a reward and replace it with something better." You see here her psychology at this point is thinking about a reward. And in fact, she is — in a moment of calamity — doing such a beautiful, beautiful thing to reflect on. SubhanAllah, brothers and sisters.

Reward in This Life and the Next

In our deen, we have an amazing concept: that when somebody goes through hardships, the Prophet ﷺ promised that there is a reward for whoever is going through a difficult time. And if this reward is not here — because you may think, "Well, I lost somebody who is very dear to me, how is it possible to actually replace that? There's no way I can replace that," or even think about something in your life that you really think has no replacement here in this dunya — what's beautiful about our deen is that even if you are not rewarded in this life, you will be rewarded in the akhira.

There are some people who really go through a difficult time processing this. Recently, I was visiting one of my family members who was diagnosed with cancer, and I was at the surgery room looking at him go through that surgery. After the surgery — alhamdulillah — it was very successful and they were able to remove the cancer from the organ. Alhamdulillah, he's doing amazing now. Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen. May Allah give him full shifa.

But I was reflecting on this and thinking — let's say the time I spent during that surgery is a video of 20 minutes. If I were to look at the first 10 minutes of that video, I would see somebody who's getting opened up — blood is dropping everywhere, the skin is getting opened, the flesh is getting opened. It's very painful. If I pause the video in the first 10 minutes, I would think that this is an absolute evil.

But if I resume the video and finish the full 20 minutes — and I see that alhamdulillah the surgery was very successful, and alhamdulillah he has started to heal, all of his flesh and skin is starting to heal, and he's going to be in much better shape — I would look at it through a completely different lens. I would never think that the first 10 minutes was an absolute evil. It's actually not evil at all, because if that didn't happen, he would not have reached the moment of healing.

The Question of Evil and the Hereafter

This example brings us to think broader than this — the whole idea of the existence of evil. I want you to pay attention here. In Islam, there is an amazing aspect: if you will not be rewarded in this life, you will be rewarded in the hereafter.

Non-Muslims look at this and have a really hard time processing the idea of the existence of evil. They say: "Why is this happening? What is the reward for that?" Somebody goes through a difficult time and there is no way they can be compensated in this life — because they don't believe in the hereafter. So they say it's unfair, it's not just.

But in Islam, we believe that if you are not going to be rewarded in this life, there is an eternal reward on the Day of Judgment. So if you look at it through the lens of dunya, it may seem absolutely unbearable — "there's no way I deserved that hard time, and I'm going to pass away and there's no Day of Judgment — where is the justice?" If you look at it from the dunya-only perspective, you will have a very hard time processing this.

But subhanAllah, Allah said it in the Quran:

"When a calamity strikes, they say: 'We belong to Allah, and we shall return to Him.'" What does that mean? You are reminding yourself that there is going to be a reward on the Day of Judgment, and that is what matters the most. You are refreshing your faith by saying: "Even though I don't get the reward here, there is still definitely a chance to get that reward on the Day of Judgment." And on the Day of Judgment, you will look back and say: "Alhamdulillah that I had this calamity — now I will receive the eternal reward."

Allah said after this:

Three things will happen to the people who have belief during the time of a calamity:

First — عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ — they will be blessed. They will be showered with these blessings — and again I remind myself and you, if it's not here in the dunya, it will be in the akhira.

Second — وَرَحْمَةٌ — Allah will shower them with mercy.

Third — وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ — they will be guided. If you have this mindset, it means that Allah has guided you. It means that Allah has put you in the right thought process, and therefore you will be able to process it.

Seeing the Light at the End of the Tunnel

My dear brothers and sisters, the du'a of Umm Salama brings so much khayr. She was just thinking: "Well, I'm not going to be in this black hole. I still see light at the end of the tunnel. I still want the reward of Allah." She didn't want to look at it as though it was the end of the journey — because if that happens, it prevents you from finding other alternatives or solutions to your own problems.

Sometimes a calamity strikes and there is actually room for you to work on things. Sometimes you need to figure things out. And if you go with the perspective of "it's all done, I'm a failure, I'm a loser" — it will prevent you from finding solutions and alternatives. Just think about a hard time that you went through. Think about it now, and think about what possibilities you had at that time that you did not think about — because you were so consumed by that calamity that it refrained you from looking at the bigger picture.

So again — a du'a that gives me new hope. A du'a that gives me and you patience. A du'a that gives me and you faith in Allah. Faith in the Qadr of Allah. May Allah make me and you among those who learn the deep meaning of this du'a.

Again, I will say this du'a, and I pray that we can all utilize this weapon — this is a very powerful du'a. Rasulullah ﷺ said:

"Allahumma ujurni fi musibati" — Ya Allah, reward me for the calamity that struck me. "Wakhlufni khayran minha" — and replace it with something better.

(Sahih Muslim, Book 11, Hadith 26 — reported by Umm Salama رضي الله عنها)