Advice After Ramadan

Khutbah Opening

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ

أَمَّا بَعْد، فَإِنَّ أَصْدَقَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللَّهِ وَأَحْسَنَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَشَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

Brothers and sisters in Islam, in Ramadan, we learned the value of putting effort in worship. And as we have explained many times before, Allah loves to see effort from His servants. And many times in Islam, Allah will reward you on your effort, not necessarily on successful results.

That is the case with da'wah, that is the case with making effort to pray on time, or to wake up for Fajr, to wake up for qiyam. The scholars had a saying:

Exhaust, fatigue, work your feet — your legs — work them, exhaust them. Meaning in worship, in standing in prayer. And if you do exhaust them, you do work them well, they will advance you forward. They will advance you towards Allah عز و جل. They will advance you on the Day of Judgment.

In Ramadan, we tasted the sweetness of ibadah — of worshiping Allah عز و جل. The sweetness of the Qur'an, the sweetness of dhikr, and the sweetness of salah. So let Allah see you continue to do your best and not abandon the good deeds until the next Ramadan. Because the purpose was to drop some bad habits and to pick up some good habits that you will continue for the rest of the year.

It is saying: O the Jannah, the paradise of the Most Merciful — you are not cheap, but you are expensive for those who are lazy.

So in this khutbah, we want to focus on three pieces of advice. The first one pertains to family. The second one pertains to the youth and specifically how they're going to spend this summer. And the third will be about the witr salah and its importance.

First Advice: Family

One of the studies showed that the average family spends about 37 minutes a day of quality time. Just 37 minutes a day — which adds up to just 9 days out of the entire year of quality time. If you add them together, it's just 9 days out of 365. And another study showed that adults spend an average of about 3 hours a day on social media.

And we're having young kids now. Young kids will complain to their parents that they're always on their phone. And then when they become teenagers, the parents complain that they're always on their phone.

But think about the idea of when your child comes to you, and you're doing something — you're chatting, and you're texting or typing — and then they want to show you something, and you tell them, "not now." And then they want to talk to you about something, and then you push them slightly away. "Let me just finish this."

Think about years and years of every time they come towards you, you push them away. They come towards you, you push them away. And for most people, when their children are young, this is when they want to spend time with you — more than anyone else in the world. And then they become teenagers. And then our complaints reverse. "This boy doesn't want to spend any time with the family."

Well, part of it was you trained him — years of pushing him away, years of "not now," years of "wait a minute." Years when they wanted to spend time with you, you didn't want to. Then they become teenagers, they don't want to spend time with you, and now you're looking for that quality time. So beware of that.

And we have all seen families — two families getting together for a feast or a barbecue — and then you look at them, every single one in the living room has their head down on their phone. What are you gathering for in that case? Everybody comes together, drives the distance, and everyone just has their head on their phone.

One of the du'at — I was speaking to one of his sons — and he has no clue what his other three siblings are studying at the university. So I asked him, "You live in the same home. How could you not know what your siblings are studying?" He says, "I don't see them." I said, "You can't all be that busy. You don't meet over lunchtime?" He says, "My mother prepares the pot and leaves it on the stove, and she just yells out that lunch is ready." He says, "One brother will come, take his plate, go watch TV. The other will come, take the plate, go to his room. The other sister will come, take her plate, and go to her bedroom." And so he says, "I never get to see them. They don't even know each other."

So beware, and especially in the summer, monitor your children's behavior. Monitor how they treat each other and how they talk to each other. It is not acceptable that siblings hate one another. One time even in our community, we asked the children, and all the words towards their siblings were words of hatred and displeasure and dislike. So monitor that very closely and make sure they have a good relationship — and that words like "I hate my brother" or "I hate my siblings" are absolutely not acceptable.

But when it comes to spouses — and this is one of the best pieces of advice offered by one of the mashayikh — he was saying that when someone gets married, the focus, the man's focus, is on his wife, and her focus is on the husband. And they're focused on each other. The minute they have children, there is an unwritten agreement: now that we have children, we have to put all our energy and time and focus into raising righteous and proper children. So they both shift the focus completely onto the children.

And then what happens — they start to neglect each other. The wife will neglect herself, the husband will neglect himself. And then all kinds of problems happen because they didn't give attention to one another. One study said that couples will spend just 12 nights out of the year of quality time together. Out of the whole year, just 12 nights together.

And we'll see cases of couples on the brink of divorce, and their problem would be that she has just become a creature created to take care of the children — doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, making sure they do the homework. By the time he gets home, she's completely fatigued. Or she just complains about their grades and what they did today and their misbehavior. He says, "We have no relationship whatsoever."

So the shaykh said that even after you have children, the focus is still on one another — and now you have children. But the focus is still on one another. But many people automatically say, "Now we have children, we have to focus on them," and they neglect their relationship. And that's why we see so many troubled relationships and couples coming for counseling — because they have nothing together. They just focus on being servants to these children.

Second Advice: The Youth and Islamic Knowledge

When it comes to the youth, we are saying there is nothing that is more important than Islamic knowledge. And if you don't believe this, you're going to go full circle and you're going to come back to the same place.

One of the biggest challenges that will be facing Muslims in North America — it is already one of the biggest challenges, and it will continue to become more apparent in the coming years — is youth leaving Islam. And they're leaving Islam for the absolute most ridiculous reasons whatsoever. For fiqh reasons that they don't even comprehend. They don't even do enough research. "This doesn't make sense." And they start to leave Islam.

This is one of the biggest issues. And the only thing that can help, after Allah عز و جل, is Islamic knowledge. This is the solid rock that will withstand all these waves that are crashing down upon you day in and day out.

A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked him:

(Sunan Ibn Mājah, Hadith 223; also referenced in Sunan Abī Dāwūd, Hadith 3641)

"What brought you here?" The man said, "I came to seek knowledge." So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked him, "I ask you by Allah — nothing brought you here except that?" He said, "By Allah, nothing brought me here except seeking knowledge." So then the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told him: "Indeed the angels lower their wings for the student of knowledge, out of being pleased with what they do — meaning seeking knowledge."

One time the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم came out to the companions and they were in a gathering of learning and dhikr. So he asked them:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2701)

"What made you sit here?" They said, "We sat down to mention Allah عز و جل." He said, "I ask you by Allah — nothing made you sit down here except that?" They made the oath. "Yes, by Allah, that's the only thing that made us sit here." He said, "I didn't ask you by Allah in an accusatory way — as if I don't believe you. But I came to let you know that Jibreel came to me and informed me that Allah was boasting, based on what you were doing, boasting your deeds in front of the angels that are with Him."

What else can grant you this honor? What else could you do on this earth that would cause Allah to boast in front of the angels? No matter how good you get at basketball, that's not going to happen. No matter how good you get at video games, that's not going to happen.

So for parents, the advice is to care about your child's Islamic knowledge. Many parents come to us when it's too late. Many cases, a child will be watching videos of atheists hours upon hours per day. Then they decide they're leaving Islam. Then they bring him here, and they want — in one session — that we magically touch them and something happens and they come back to the deen. It doesn't work like that. You have to be in charge of that. You have to monitor that the entire time.

And it never fails — the best students, Islamically, are always the ones whose parents care about their Islamic education. It never fails.

Look at the four imams — Imam Malik, Imam Ahmad, Al-Shafi'i, Abu Hanifa, rahimahumullah. All of them were orphans. And all of them had mothers who cared about their Islamic education. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim — his older sister was the one who cared about his Islamic education. Imam Al-Shafi'i — he was so poor, and his mother was poor. But she would go out and find used paper. They were too poor to buy paper. She would find used paper and try to erase from it so he could use it to learn his deen.

The Qur'an and the Youth

For the youth, we also say: the Qur'an. There is nothing that you read that will be greater nor more beneficial for you than the Qur'an. Our problem is just that we belittle the Qur'an.

I mentioned the story before where a young man came — actually, he didn't even want to come speak to an imam. He told his friends, "Because the imam is going to tell me to read the Qur'an. As if there's no benefit in it. Imams, they don't know what they're doing. They just tell you go read the Qur'an. Make dhikr, make istighfar. They just throw these cop-outs at me."

So we made sure to tell him at the end of the session to read the Qur'an. Because that is the correct answer. Yes, read the Qur'an. And if you had been reading the Qur'an, you wouldn't be in this confusion. The answer would have been in the Qur'an, had he always flipped through its pages.

One of our youth in Virginia — he used to run around the masjid and they would yell at him. And then he went and entered the Qur'an competition. They all traveled to Saudi Arabia. And while they were there, after the competition, they took all of the contestants to the Ka'bah. And they opened the doors of the Ka'bah and let them walk inside and pray inside the Ka'bah. Many great scholars haven't prayed inside the Ka'bah.

But there is nothing else in this world they could have done in the United States that would get them to go all the way to Mecca and have someone open the door of the Ka'bah and allow them inside. They could have become the greatest athlete of all time — no one would invite them to pray inside the Ka'bah. Nothing except the Qur'an.

Nothing elevates people like the Qur'an. Nothing strengthens iman like the Qur'an. And nothing protects, after Allah عز و جل, like the Qur'an.

And it's so sad that the number one thing that replaces the Qur'an — in the hearts, in the minds, and in the ears of our youth especially, and even our adults — is music. And many follow the mistaken opinion that music is halal. It is 100% a mistaken opinion. 100%. And if it's not mistaken, have one of our youth right now grab this microphone and just say the lyrics of the things they listen to every day. What is the subject matter? What is the content? What kind of words are they? Would you be embarrassed to come and say them right now in front of the community? How is it halal? And what a shame that this nonsense is what's replacing the greatest words ever — the words of Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

Advice for the Summer

As for the summer — make sure, this is for the youth — make sure you focus on Islamic learning, focus on the Qur'an. And for the parents, encourage them to care for that the same way you encourage them to care for their schools, their studies, their swim classes and their soccer practice.

This summer, we have a lot of learning programs and activities for all kinds of ages. For high school and college, we have classes. For the young, we have the summer program. Make sure they don't waste their time and they don't miss opportunities to learn. Make sure they learn something new every day — meaning something new about their religion every day. Not facts about frogs and mountain goats and things like that. Important things.

One of the young men said, "I made a vow to learn something new every day." He said, "One day I was super busy and I went to bed, then I remembered that I didn't learn anything. I turned the light on, grabbed the book, opened it and read a hadith immediately." Something new every day.

Or at least learn a skill — some beneficial skill. Mechanics, woodworking, something in the summer. A few summers ago, for our elementary summer program, we brought wood, nails, and hammers. And we had the students just hammer a nail into a piece of wood. And these kids were saying, "We've never in our life driven a nail into a piece of wood, ever." We had them go outside and learn how to change a tire. We had them learn how to sweep. These are basic things. One day they're going to go live in a dorm. And one day you're going to go visit their dorm and you're going to be surprised at how a human being can live in such filth — because they never learned basic skills. And we intend to teach that this summer. So take advantage of these opportunities.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ لِي وَلَكُمْ مِنْ جَمِيعِ الذُّنُوبِ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ فَيَا فَوْزَ الْمُسْتَغْفِرِينَ

Ask Allah for His forgiveness. Indeed, those who ask for His forgiveness shall prosper.

Second Part of the Khutbah

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِهِ الْأَمِينِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ. أَمَّا بَعْد.

Third Advice: The Witr Prayer

In the month of Ramadan, many of us got used to and accustomed to praying the witr prayer. The scholars say the witr prayer is sunnah mu'akkadah. And many people misunderstand this term. They think mu'akkadah means "confirmed" — like some sunnah are not confirmed, this one is. No, mu'akkadah means the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم never, ever skipped it — ever.

They said فِي السَّفَرِ وَفِي الْحَضَرِ — whether he was traveling or whether he was a resident, he never ever skipped al-witr. Even if he missed it, he would make it up the next day. And its time is after Isha prayer. After you pray Isha, you can pray al-witr. Or if you're traveling and you combine — you pray Maghrib and combine it with Isha — you can pray the witr at that point also if you are a traveler.

But it is best at the end of the night. It is narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم prayed al-witr in the beginning of the night, and then he prayed it in the middle of the night, and then he prayed it at the end of the night — and that became his sunnah: to pray it at the end of the night. And the scholars say it is the best prayer after the five obligatory prayers.

(Sunan Abī Dāwūd, Hadith 1416; Sunan Ibn Mājah, Hadith 1162; graded Hasan)

He says: "The only one who maintains or keeps up with the witr prayer is the believer." So the scholars said he made it صلى الله عليه وسلم one of the signs of iman — to pray witr.

Imam Malik رحمه الله used to say: if any man misses three witrs in a row, فَهُوَ امْرُؤُ سَوْءٍ — he is a wicked man. Why? Because number one, it is so short — one raka'ah. And you know that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم never ever skipped it. And if he skipped it, he made it up. Why on earth would you skip it? And it's just one raka'ah.

In another hadith, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 21677; Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Hadith 452; graded Sahih)

"Indeed Allah has increased you a prayer, so pray it." He was talking about witr صلى الله عليه وسلم. So some scholars of Islam called the witr prayer the sixth prayer. The way they understood this hadith — that Allah عز و جل gave you five prayers and then added one to them — so they said, that's the sixth prayer. That's how important they saw it.

So they said: the best prayer after the five, no doubt, is the witr prayer. Followed then — second best — would be the sunnah for Fajr, raghībat al-Fajr. And then after that would be all the other sunnah. And some scholars even went to the extent of saying that salat al-witr is wajib.

How to Pray Witr

It is permissible to pray it in one raka'ah. This is the majority opinion of the Malikis, Shafi'is, and Hanbalis. This is based on the hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. Also in Sunan Abi Dawud, al-Nasa'i, and Ibn Majah. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: if you want to pray it as five, that's fine. If you want to pray it as three, that's fine. And if you pray it as one, that's also fine.

And in a hadith narrated by Ahmad, al-Nasa'i, and al-Darimi — considered sahih — the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم prayed it three raka'ah with one tashahhud. In the first he recited al-Fatihah and:

In the second, al-Fatihah and Surah al-Kafirun. And in the third, Surah al-Ikhlas. Then he made one tashahhud at the end. And you can also pray it with any of the surahs of the Qur'an — it doesn't matter. And there were times when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم prayed it even much longer than that.

Then narrated by Ibn Hibban, al-Hakim, al-Dar Qutni — and Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned it in I'lam al-Muwaqqi'in with a sahih isnad — the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

(Sunan al-Dāraquṭnī; cited by Ibn al-Qayyim in I'lām al-Muwaqqi'īn with a Sahih isnād)

"Do not pray witr as three — pray it as five or seven. And do not make it resemble Salat al-Maghrib." So the scholars said: you pray the three raka'ah but not like Maghrib prayer. You don't sit for the first tashahhud — you continue. You get up again for the third time and then you end it with the last tashahhud. Similarly if you pray at five, seven, and so on.

Conclusion: The Witr Challenge

With that, I would like to conclude with a conversation that I overheard right here in America — in Atlanta, Georgia. There were these three friends talking in front of me, and they had made a pact. One of the reasons it's so easy to worship Allah عز و جل in Ramadan is that everyone's doing it. Everyone is fasting, everyone's praying witr, everyone's giving sadaqa — and that makes it easier.

So these friends came up with a brilliant idea. They made a witr challenge between the three of them — they were challenging each other to see which one of them would be the first one to skip a witr. And they were talking that it had been months and none of them had skipped the witr prayer. And one of them was saying, "The other day I was extremely fatigued and tired, but I still got up and I still prayed the witr — I didn't want to lose the challenge."

You can do things like that just to encourage one another — especially for the youth. For witr prayer, for the Qur'an, for fasting so you don't abandon it, for giving sadaqa. These little challenges have nothing to do with the purity of your intention with Allah عز و جل. Just like when we have Qur'an competitions — people were initially memorizing it for the sake of Allah عز و جل, and then the competition and the prize and the position just serves as an extra boost or an extra motivator.

Du'a

With that we ask Allah to make us of those who recognize the truth as clear truth and follow the best of it, and to make us of those who recognize falsehood as clear falsehood and abstain from it. Ya Allah, accept what little we presented in the month of Ramadan. Ya Allah, accept our fasts. Ya Allah, accept what we gave in charity. Forgive our sins and free us from the Hellfire. Ya Allah, You are the One who is not in need, and we are the ones who are in desperate need.