Built on Mercy: How the Prophet (SAWS) Handled Disrespect

Opening Praise and Supplication

الحمد لله وحده والصلاة والسلام على من لا نبي بعده نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه، وسلِّم اللهم تسليماً كثيراً، أما بعد

All praise is due to Allah and His praise, and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, his family, his companions, and his followers until the Day of Judgment. I bear witness that Allah is the only one worthy of worship and Muhammad ﷺ is his last and final messenger.

I ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى as we start the first Jumu'ah after Ramadan to accept from all of us all our good deeds, to reward us for it, and to save it purely for His sake until we meet Him while He is pleased with us. And we ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to give us the health, the strength, the iman, and the happiness that will allow us to live a long life — to enjoy life with iman and health and comfort and happiness. Allahumma ameen, Allahumma ameen.

SubhanAllah, I was just reflecting upon how much money people have lost in just a few days — no, a few minutes ago, and hours ago. Just like an equivalent to the budget of countries combined — Germany, Italy, France — you put them all together and their budget, they lost — we lost more than that just in a few days. People now, they don't shake hands and say "are you okay?" — they say "401k okay?" But whatever you give to Allah سبحانه وتعالى never gets lost — SubhanAllah — it is saved and it is only increased. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى always guide us to do what is right.

The Story: A Bedouin Pulls the Prophet ﷺ

Let me take you from this minute back to the time of the Prophet ﷺ. After a long day of work, tired — you can't imagine him ﷺ just going back home to rest with his family. And the Prophet ﷺ was walking towards his house and you could tell he was tired because he was wearing a burd — a burd, something similar to what I am wearing — and I put it up just to demonstrate to you how the Prophet ﷺ was wearing it.

He was wearing it in a very strange way, not like the usual way. As a matter of fact, the Prophet's ﷺ burd was not a nice one like the one that has been given to me — no, it was a thick wool quality. And the Prophet ﷺ had it like this — took it and made it around his neck, the thick part in the back, around the Prophet's ﷺ neck. You could tell he was tired and didn't want to put it on his shoulder. He was going home, ready to just take it off and to rest.

And then — a man. A man was trying to catch up with the Prophet ﷺ. This man wanted to call the Prophet ﷺ, so what he did — he held the tail of the garment from the back. He pulled the Prophet ﷺ so hard that the Prophet ﷺ lost balance, fell, and his head and the back of his shoulder hit the man's chest. He pulled him to him and he was holding it so hard that from the strength of the pull he tore the garment.

That's it? No. The Prophet's ﷺ neck was long and clear — the skin so clear and fair, light in color. And as such, you could see a line — a red line around his neck — from that grip, from that pull. You can imagine, you can see that scene right in front of you.

And now what would the man say? You would think he would say, "Sorry, I didn't expect it to be that strong." He saw the Prophet's ﷺ neck, he tore the garment, he saw the Prophet ﷺ lose balance and pulled him back. You would expect the man to say, "Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me, Ya Rasulullah."

Instead, the man said:

"Ya Muhammad" — just like that. And when Allah سبحانه وتعالى says:

Allah told us we do not call the Prophet ﷺ the way we call each other. When you see someone respectful — an elder, a scholar — you don't just call him by his first name. You say "Shaykh Ibrahim," you give due respect as one would give an imam. That is for a shaykh — and this is Rasulullah ﷺ. He said "Ya Muhammad," and on top of that — he was begging for money. And the way he framed it: "from the money that Allah gave you" — as if the Prophet ﷺ had no credit, that it all came from Allah anyway so just hand it over.

This Bedouin from the desert did all of this in front of Anas رضي الله عنه. And Anas was a little boy — he was the Prophet's ﷺ servant.

The Prophet's ﷺ Response: Laughter and Generosity

I want to pause here before I continue. What do you think will happen? I read the story and I was thinking — what is the reaction? Is it the reaction we know from physics — Newton's law that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction? Or is it something different?

The law that the Prophet ﷺ lived by is:

The Prophet ﷺ would always do what is best. And so, as Anas رضي الله عنه narrated — the Prophet ﷺ smiled — not only smiled, he laughed ﷺ — a big smile, close to a laugh. He looked at the man and laughed and said, "What is this?" Then he said, "Give him from the charity money."

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3149; also recorded by Sahih Muslim)

And the hadith ends right there.

Lessons from the Story

But the lessons of that story do not end right there — they don't stop there. There are many things to reflect upon.

If you just think about the things that happened to the Prophet ﷺ — each and every one of them would be enough to make your blood boil, to make you so angry. Somebody grabbed you like this, somebody stopping you right before you enter your own house, grabbing you, tearing your clothes — and those people did not have many clothes in the time of the Prophet ﷺ. He physically harmed the Prophet ﷺ and disrespectfully addressed the Prophet ﷺ — for what? Because he wanted charity.

And with all of this complexity of that scene — yet the Prophet ﷺ dealt with it in the most simple way. He just laughed. He understood that this man was ignorant — not that he did the right thing — he was just blinded by his need for help and money. When you are blind, you don't see anything except your need. The Prophet ﷺ understood that. And instead of letting that fiery anger enter his heart and take over, he put in its place the coolness of calmness, forgiveness, perseverance, and patience.

Controlling Anger: What True Strength Means

This is the one who said once to a man: "Don't be angry, and al-Jannah is your reward." He never used to say things he did not apply himself. Yes, I know we are imperfect — I am the first to admit that — but if the distance between what we say and what we do is so huge, there is something wrong. If there is an unacceptable distance, that is a problem. We're struggling — that is a normal thing. But he talked about controlling your anger — not through his words only.

"The strong man is not the one who wrestles others to the ground. Rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6114; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609)

The strong man is not the one who gets angry and loud. No — the strong man is the one who controls his reaction when he is made angry. That is true strength.

A Society Built on Safety and Freedom of Expression

Another thing I want to reflect upon — I always ask myself: what made this person do what he did? Beside perhaps being naturally rough — you know, not having the best social skills, a man living in the desert who doesn't socialize much — but what made a man like this so confident to come and approach the head of the state, to approach the Prophet ﷺ and say what he said and do what he did — with all that confidence?

Wasn't he afraid to be arrested? Wasn't he afraid to be lashed? Wasn't he afraid to be jailed, to be taken to a court, or even to be executed? No. He lived in a society that created a very large space of safety — a safe space for people to feel free to express themselves, even if it was the wrong way, even if they used the wrong language.

Compare this to what we claim to be the most civilized nation on the face of the earth today — when we deal with people who express themselves, even if they use words or statements that are not necessarily the most appropriate, how do we deal with them? Rather, people express themselves in a most appropriate way in many cases and are still prosecuted and condemned.

But look at how the Prophet ﷺ was, and how the society in his time was. That is the society we should be proud of. For an ignorant person to come today and claim to attack our religion and undermine the beauty of the society built by the Prophet ﷺ — they need to be aware of how the Prophet ﷺ truly was and how his society truly was. He was a mercy to mankind, and that mercy and that kindness created a space for people to be able to freely express themselves.

What would we be without that? When your fear conceals your tongue — when you cannot express yourself because you are afraid — your heart will be filled with rage and hatred. And that is what happens in a society that is full of oppression.

Practical Reminder: The Six Days of Shawwal

My brothers and sisters, it is from the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ that he said: whoever fasts the month of Ramadan and follows it up with six days of Shawwal — it is as if he fasted the entire year.

"Whoever fasts Ramadan and follows it with six days of Shawwal, it is as if he fasted for a lifetime." (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1164)

So it is recommended to fast these six days of Shawwal if you can. You can do them consecutively, or you can divide them over the month of Shawwal — one every Monday, one every Thursday if you want. That is also fine. You could do three days on the 13th, 14th, and 15th and another three days separately.

For those who have missed days of Ramadan — you cannot combine the two intentions of making up the missed day and fasting the six days of Shawwal. You choose one of them.

Can I do the six days of Shawwal before I finish making up all my missed days of Ramadan? Yes, you can — as long as, inshallah, you complete your missed days during that year.

Can I do a voluntary fast before I finish the obligatory make-up fasts? Yes — because the obligatory make-up here has a long period of time to fulfill. It is like if you do an Umrah before you make Hajj — if, for example, you have enough money to do Umrah but not yet enough to make Hajj — assuming that this Umrah is a voluntary one for you. The obligation has its time, and the voluntary worship does not negate it.