Conquering Your Insecurities

Conquering Your Insecurities

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ، الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ نَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَسْتَهْدِيهِ وَنُؤْمِنُ بِهِ وَنَتَوَكَّلُ عَلَيْهِ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ الْعَظِيمِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَلَهُ الْحَمْدُ، يُحْيِي وَيُمِيتُ وَهُوَ حَيٌّ لَا يَمُوتُ بِيَدِهِ الْخَيْرُ وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ وَصَفِيُّهُ وَخَلِيلُهُ، أَدَّى الْأَمَانَةَ وَبَلَّغَ الرِّسَالَةَ وَنَصَحَ الْأُمَّةَ وَكَشَفَ الْغُمَّةَ، وَتَرَكَنَا عَلَى الْمَحَجَّةِ الْبَيْضَاءِ، لَيْلُهَا كَنَهَارِهَا لَا يَزِيغُ عَنْهَا إِلَّا هَالِكٌ، فَعَلَيْهِ أَفْضَلُ الصَّلَاةِ وَأَتَمُّ التَّسْلِيمِ، وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَمَنِ اسْتَنَّ بِسُنَّتِهِ إِلَى يَوْمِ الدِّينِ.

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنَا مِنْهُمْ وَمِنَ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ، آمِينَ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ.

وَأُوصِيكُمْ وَنَفْسِي بِتَقْوَى اللَّهِ، وَقَدْ أَمَرَنَا بِالْحَقِّ.

أَمَّا بَعْدُ. We begin by praising Allah, bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him, and we bear witness that Muhammad ﷺ is His final messenger. We ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in their blessed path until the Day of Judgment, and we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen.

How Shaytan Enters Through Fear

Dear brothers and sisters, oftentimes when we talk about what leads a person down this path of following their desires, and leads them to a path of sin, and leads them to a place of violating the rules of Allah, and leads them to a place of forgetting their purpose, we often address the footsteps of shaytan, the footsteps of the devil, and the whispers of the devil from a place of ash-shahwa, from a place of desire.

But subhanAllah, one thing that's very interesting when you read about the tactics of the shaytan, of the devil within the Quran and how the Prophet ﷺ spoke about them, is that it's often that the shaytan enters into a person's soul from a place of fear, from a place of insecurity, from the place where that person feels most vulnerable, and then takes that and exploits it into a desire to be desirable, a desire to be wealthy, a desire to be secured, a desire to have the places and the access that they felt like they were unworthy of — should they not compromise on the very principles and purpose that Allah has given to them.

What I mean by that is that the shaytan enters from a place of fear, and it's very interesting because if you look at the way that marketing works, many times it's to exploit an insecurity, create an insecurity, and then exploit an insecurity. People have body image issues, and so there are all types of products that are marketed towards the insecurity of body image. People have issues with social acceptance, and so there are all sorts of products and things that are marketed towards social validation. All of these different things are marketed to feast on and exploit an insecurity.

And subhanAllah, I want us to actually look through, in these few minutes insha'Allah, some of the verses of the Quran and some of the hadiths of the Prophet ﷺ in this regard, and then think about how this works.

The Hadith of Sabrah ibn Abi Fakih: Shaytan Obstructs Every Path

The Prophet ﷺ says — and this is a hadith from a companion by the name of Sabrah ibn Abi Fakih رضي الله تعالى عنه — and subhanAllah, I believe it's the only hadith that he narrates, if not one of the only hadith that he narrates. And what a hadith to narrate from the Prophet ﷺ.

(Sunan al-Nasa'i, Hadith 3134; also reported in Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 15276)

He said: I heard the Prophet ﷺ say: Verily the shaytan has sat on every single path — he tries to obstruct every path that the son of Adam, that the child of Adam wishes to take.

First Obstruction: The Path to Islam

فَقَعَدَ لَهُ بِطَرِيقِ الْإِسْلَامِ — So he first tries to obstruct his path to Islam. How many people sat in Mecca and believed that the Prophet of Allah ﷺ was indeed the Prophet of Allah, but they thought about the consequences of embracing that message, hence they never embraced that message and they sat back in Mecca and they waited to see what would happen — many of them probably passing away before they had the opportunity to embrace Islam. This is a highly consequential choice. This is a very difficult choice that you have to make.

So think about a person in Mecca and the Prophet ﷺ comes and the shaytan gets in the way. Notice the shaytan does not try here to talk about the message of the Prophet ﷺ because that battle is already won. Intellectually you already know this is the truth. That's the point. You've already been convinced that this is the truth, but instead tries to exploit an insecurity.

أَتُسْلِمُ وَتَذَرُ دِينَكَ وَدِينَ آبَائِكَ وَآبَاءِ أَبِيكَ؟ — Are you going to become Muslim and abandon the religion of your parents and abandon the religion of your forefathers and their fathers? Meaning, are you going to put behind your legacy? And in a deeply tribalistic society, you're giving up on everything that used to give you value. What used to give you value in that society was: Who is your father? What is your tribe? Are you going to turn your back on all of that?

The emotional manipulation — and we know that it was used against the companions. That a parent would say that I will starve myself until you relinquish this faith. And so the shaytan obstructs the path by preying on that, exploiting that, not even trying to mess with who the Prophet ﷺ is anymore or what the message is.

And Rasulullah ﷺ said, فَعَصَاهُ فَأَسْلَمَ — so that person disobeyed that devil and became Muslim anyway. They had the resolve and they had the sincerity and they had the security to say that pleasing Allah and doing the right thing is worth the social consequence here, and they became Muslim.

Second Obstruction: The Path of Hijrah

And then the stakes were raised. You were now forced to flee out of persecution, to make hijrah. So the Prophet ﷺ said that the shaytan comes on the way to the migration, just as you're about to leave Mecca and leave behind everything that you've earned, all that you've worked for. And if you're a person who lives in that type of society, you've been everywhere trying to earn your living, buy your first home, have your space in Mecca.

And says: أَتُهَاجِرُ وَتَدَعُ أَرْضَكَ وَسَمَاءَكَ — Are you really going to make hijrah? Are you really going to migrate and leave behind your land and your earth, everything that you've earned, all of your freedom in your own home? وَإِنَّمَا مَثَلُ الْمُهَاجِرِ كَمَثَلِ الْفَرَسِ فِي الطِّوَلِ — And verily the one who migrates, an immigrant, is like someone who is a tethered horse. Al-tiwal is the horse's pen. So it's like you're tied to something. You're a tied up horse.

Think about the horse with all of its strength and its desire to go free. And you're going to be a tethered horse, stuck to a pole in its pen, operating always within this small space, because that's not your home. And you'll never feel like you're at home. Are you really willing to give up all of that — that freedom, that property, that space — for Islam?

And the person — the Prophet ﷺ says — فَعَصَاهُ فَهَاجَرَ — that person disobeys the shaytan and makes hijrah.

Third Obstruction: The Path of Jihad

ثُمَّ قَعَدَ لَهُ بِطَرِيقِ الْجِهَادِ — And then that person gets in the way of striving in the path of Allah. And of course in the context of the early Muslims, this is Badr. Now the same people that caused you to flee are in pursuit of you, and you have to go to the battlefield? And on the opposite side of that are all of those people? This is such a difficult choice that you have to make.

But look at the way the shaytan tries to exploit. He doesn't call you a coward. He doesn't try to tell you, well look at their strength and look at yours. In this situation, the shaytan says: are you really going to go out there and lose yourself and lose your wealth? You will kill and be killed. And then your wife will marry other than you. And then your wealth will be distributed amongst other than you. You're going to lose your family. You're going to lose everything that is precious to you. He tries to mess with that person's sense of honor, that person's sense of dignity. Are you really going to lose all of that? Don't you know what happens afterwards? Are you really willing to take that risk?

And the Prophet ﷺ said:

And that person continued forward, and they fought for the sake of Allah. Now Rasulullah ﷺ goes on to say that it doesn't matter what happens with this person at the end of the day — whether everything materializes to their worst fears or not:

It is a right upon Allah that He will enter that person into Jannah. The Prophet ﷺ said: whether this person dies on a battlefield, or this person falls off of their mount, or this person drowns, or this person dies of anything else — this person will enter Jannah. Because they conquered the whispers of the shaytan that preyed on their greatest sense of insecurity, their greatest sense of fear.

Allah's Favor: Safety and Security

And who are we as human beings? We look for a sense of safety, we look for a sense of stability. And Allah even mentions this as a favor to Quraysh:

Allah is the one who fed you when you were hungry, provided for you — and the one who granted you a sense of security when you were afraid. But shaytan knows that these are things that he can exploit in a human being. That he can look towards and cause a great sense of fear.

Purification of the Soul: Finding the Root Insecurity

Now subhanAllah, why is this so important when we're talking about the tactics of shaytan, particularly when it comes to exploiting our insecurities? Because if you look into the depth of the literature from the ulema in this regard — the ulema when they speak about tazkiyat al-nafs, the purification of the soul — they try to get you to dig as deep as possible into where you found yourself first inclining towards certain things.

As Imam Ibn al-Jawzi رحمه الله says: if you fall, if you get tripped up, you want to go back to the place that tripped you up. Find the object that tripped you up. Find where your garment got caught on. Don't just rip it and keep moving forward.

And a lot of times before a person had a desire to be more beautiful, they had a fear of undesirability. Before a person got into this level of trying to have more and more wealth, they had a fear of the implications of poverty. And when you actually seek to identify where you used to get your sense of validation from, where you used to get your sense of meaning from, and then the desires that came after that — you'll find that there might be an insecurity there that you have as a human being. Because every single one of us has something there. A fear.

And I'm not saying you go back and you yell at your parents and you say: you used to do this to me and that's why I now always seek approval from people because you used to talk to me this way, or I grew up in this environment and it was because of this. I'm not saying make it an excuse. I'm saying: find what caused you these insecurities, and don't even let the shaytan in there. Solve the insecurities themselves. Because the desires will come after.

Why is it that people crave attention? Well, what was the deficit before that led them to crave attention? Why is it that a person assigns their dignity and their sense of validation in certain things? Well, what was the deficit before that shaytan might be preying upon?

The Solution: Tawheed and Validation from Allah

And subhanAllah, I want to end here with something very profound in the Quran. Allah talks about the fear factor of the shaytan — to try to stop you from moving towards the right direction because of fears that he will manipulate, and also the desires that he will embellish that feast upon your greatest insecurities. But He also talks about the centrality of tawheed, the centrality of monotheism in all of this.

What is the greatest sense of validation? What is the way that you overcome these insecurities? There are individual pathways that you look to. You start to interrupt and say: I need to solve this problem and stop this leak that the shaytan is preying upon. But then there is a connection to Allah that gives you a new sense of validation. What do I mean by that?

Don't be afraid of them — be afraid of Me.

SubhanAllah — and honestly I heard this ayah in Salat al-Fajr and I was thinking about this particular ayah: فَلَا تَخْشَوْهُمْ وَاخْشَوْنِ — Don't fear them, but fear Me. It's interesting here because that ayah came down when Allah changed the qibla from Jerusalem to Mecca. And you know what they said to the Prophet ﷺ? Some of the People of the Book said:

اشْتَاقَ الرَّجُلُ إِلَى قَوْمِهِ وَإِلَى دِينِ قَوْمِهِ — The man must have missed his people and missed the religion of his people. To suggest that the Prophet ﷺ was going to incline towards paganism by facing Mecca and not facing Jerusalem anymore.

And Allah says: فَلَا تَخْشَوْهُمْ وَاخْشَوْنِ — Don't worry about them. Don't worry about what they say. Don't worry about the comments they're going to throw your way. It doesn't matter if they excommunicate you. It doesn't matter if they say you're not a Prophet of Allah. It doesn't matter. Seek your validation from Allah.

And the highest level that Allah mentions of the believers:

They don't fear the blame of the blamer. Because they start to assign a sense of self-worth through their relationship with Allah.

The hadith of the Prophet ﷺ:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564)

Allah does not look at your physical beings. He doesn't look at your strength. He doesn't look at your physical attraction. That's not what Allah is interested in. You know, subhanAllah, we talk about Islam emphasizing fitness — Islam doesn't emphasize fitness so that other people could look at you and admire your muscle tone. Islam doesn't emphasize fitness so that you could look the part. It emphasizes it because of the amanah of the body — to do better for the sake of Allah.

So when the Prophet ﷺ says, Allah doesn't look at that — but Allah looks at your hearts and Allah looks at your deeds: إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَإِلَى أَعْمَالِكُمْ. That's what Allah looks at. And so you start to find your sense of validation in: How beautiful is my heart to Allah? How beautiful are my deeds to Allah? What is it that I'm seeking from Him? How much better is His reward than the reward and the compensation of anything else in this world that someone else can promise me?

And you solve the insecurities in the general sense always by coming back to Allah. By finding security in His approval. By finding security in His protection. By finding security in His pleasure. It changes the equation every single time, so that all of those natural human fears melt in the love of the Divine. They melt in that relationship with Allah.

Closing Du'a — First Khutbah

May Allah allow us to resolve whatever those insecurities are that the shaytan will exploit, and protect us from transgressing, and protect us from harming ourselves to please others that will never be pleased with us. And allow us to seek His pleasure and to seek His reward and His paradise. And may Allah forgive us when we are led astray by whatever fears and whatever desires that we have. And may Allah allow us to have good endings and allow us to be amongst those that enter the highest level of paradise, Al-Firdaws Al-A'la, with our beloved Prophet ﷺ. Allahumma ameen.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ.

Second Khutbah: No Excuses — A Lesson from New Shahadas

الحمد لله، والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله وعلى آله وصحبه ومن والاه. Dear brothers and sisters, in that hadith from the Prophet ﷺ, not everyone in Mecca feared the same things in the exact same ways. Meaning the consequence of one person embracing Islam and what tribal implications that was going to have were different for some people. Not everyone had the same sacrifice in terms of wealth. Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf رضي الله عنه is giving up a lot more in Mecca to go to Medina to become that migrant than many other people. Not everyone had to worry about families that they would leave behind. And not everyone was as jealous as everyone else — not everyone had the same sense of ghira where the shaytan will be able to play on that type of fear and that type of insecurity.

When you see people around you that embrace Islam today in this climate, I want you to realize that it's not only a miracle from Allah and a blessing for you — but I want you to also recognize that it's a sign that whatever it is that we have that holds us back, we have no excuses for ourselves. There are three separate people here embracing Islam today. All three of them came from different distances. We have one sister that flew from Washington to take her shahada here today.

SubhanAllah, I want you to look at these and not just say Allahu Akbar and how amazing. I want you to look at that and say: that's a hujjah, that's a proof against me as well, and for me as well. That whatever the obstacle, Allah is worth that obstacle.

So may Allah bless our new brothers and sisters today, and may Allah bless us with that yaqeen, with that certainty as well to conquer anything in our lives.

Closing Du'a — Second Khutbah

فَاذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ، وَاشْكُرُوهُ عَلَى النِّعَمِ يَزِدْكُمْ، وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ.