Do You Love To Argue?

Opening Praises and Salutations

I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant, His Messenger, His Chosen One, and His Friend. He fulfilled the trust and conveyed the message, and advised the Ummah, and exposed the darkness, and left us on the white pilgrimage. Its night is like its day, nothing escapes it but destruction.

So the best prayer is upon him, and the best submission is upon his family, his companions, and those who wait for his sunnah until the Day of Judgment. O Allah, make us of them, and of those who believe, and do righteous deeds, and adhere to the truth, and adhere to patience. Ameen.

We begin by praising Allah, and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. And we bear witness that Muhammad ﷺ is His final Messenger. We ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon him, the Prophets and Messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in his blessed path until the Day of Judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma Ameen.

Studying the Qualities of the Righteous — and the Hypocrites

Dear brothers and sisters, we often study the lives of the righteous in this masjid, and the righteous qualities that they had that transfer over. Because it's not enough to simply look at the biographies of As-Sabiqoon Al-Awwaloon, of the forerunners from this ummah. But it's imperative that you look at the qualities that made them those special people.

Just as it's important to study them, it is also important to study the hypocrites, and to study the traits of the hypocrites. And one of the things that's very powerful about the language of the Qur'an is that the Qur'an names very few. In fact, it only names one enemy of the Prophet ﷺ — and that is Abu Lahab. But everybody else is described by qualities where there may be some of that quality present within us if we're not paying attention. And this was true both of the enemies of the Prophet ﷺ in Mecca as well as those in Medina. And so when you pay attention to the qualities that Allah is mentioning about those evil people, then that gives you an opportunity to be introspective and say, do I have some of those qualities?

Al-Walid ibn Mughirah — Ten Evil Traits

Now, سبحان الله, there is one man who is an enemy of the Prophet ﷺ. When you say Allah completely dissected this man with his negative qualities, it's this man. Ten negative traits in a series of four ayat where Allah just completely demolishes this man.

Allah describes him with ten evil traits. And this was Al-Walid ibn Mughirah, a man who was very proud in the time of the Prophet ﷺ.

And Allah says: Do not follow كُلَّ حَلَّافٍ مَّهِينٍ — a person who is vile and who swears a lot. هَمَّازٍ مَّشَّاءٍ بِنَمِيمٍ — he passes on scandals and tales. مَّنَّاعٍ لِّلْخَيْرِ مُعْتَدٍ أَثِيمٍ — someone who hinders all forms of good and puts forth all the worst forms of evil. عُتُلٍّ بَعْدَ ذَٰلِكَ زَنِيمٍ — and on top of all of that, he is callous, and he is a child of adultery. زَنِيم.

Now this man — you talk about self-awareness. الوليد المغيرة — he goes to his mother and he says, the God of Muhammad ﷺ just revealed the nastiest takedown of me. And he mentioned ten qualities about me. He said, I can see how nine of them are true. But the last one, I can't accept. See, these were people that boasted only in their lineage. He said, that last one, I don't accept. زَنِيم — a child of zina.

And سبحان الله, look how Allah was exposing and humiliating these people who used to take pride in things that weren't even real. It was at that moment that his mother actually revealed to him that he was not the child of his father. A man who boasts about his father, المغيرة, and is boasting about being a noble Arab and of the best people — and his mother tells him in that moment, after the Qur'an was revealed, that your father is actually not who you think it is. And Ibn Abbas says that his father was another man who was خبيث — filthy — by the name of Al-Akhnas ibn Shuraik.

Al-Akhnas ibn Shuraik — The Master of Hypocrisy

Al-Akhnas ibn Shuraik was a man whose name was Ubayy ibn Shuraik. A powerful man, eloquent man, someone who used to command a lot of presence in Mecca, had a lot of wealth. And he fits the profile, but he's unique in that he carries over the traits of hypocrisy into Medina as well. So many of the verses about the munafiqeen, if they're not talking about Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul, they're usually referring to him when it comes to the specific incidents. Because he really camouflages himself to every single situation with the Prophet ﷺ to simply take advantage of the situation.

And he's not looking for the welfare of Quraysh. He's looking for the welfare of himself. He really doesn't care who comes out of this battle between the Prophet ﷺ and Quraysh. He really only cares about his own well-being. He's out there for his own maslaha, for his own benefit.

And in fact, he takes the name Akhnas — which is a negative name — because he was on the side of the disbelievers when Badr happened. And he was a khalif of Banu Zuhra. And when he saw that Badr was about to happen, he said to his people — the 300 people — he said, look, I think that we have enough. Quraysh has enough. They've got it covered. Let's get out of here. And, you know, if he's really a prophet of Allah, then Allah is going to give him victory. If he's a liar, then Allah is going to humiliate him. But let's keep the clothes on our back. Let's take our caravan and let's get out of here. And so Akhnas actually took 300 of the kuffar away from the Battle of Badr — not out of love for the Prophet ﷺ, but just because the man was always looking out for himself.

The Verse About Akhnas — Surah Al-Baqarah

Now, سبحان الله, Allah continues to diagnose this man to tell us about what type of man he is. Every single battle that happens with the Prophet ﷺ, he weighs whether he should take this side or that side, who he should play to. And he happens to be an extremely eloquent man. And this is the person about whom Allah revealed the verse in Surah Al-Baqarah:

As the scholars mentioned, there are people that come to you and they sound so sweet. وَيُشْهِدُ اللَّهَ عَلَىٰ مَا فِي قَلْبِهِ — and they even call to Allah to bear witness in what's in their hearts. But that is a person who is أَلَدُّ الْخِصَامِ — a stubborn, argumentative human being who has no good inside of them.

Now سبحان الله, what this is referring to is when he saw that the tables were turning, he went to Medina, came to the Prophet ﷺ, but he didn't just take shahada. He said:

"O Messenger of Allah, I swear by Allah, you're the most beloved of people to me, and I always tell these people about how much I love you." And he started to praise the Prophet ﷺ for his eloquence, and, "I knew it was only a matter of time before Allah would give you victory and you were going to squash your enemies." And he goes on and on and on.

And Allah reveals this verse about him: he's not who you think he is. This person comes to you with these words, وَيُشْهِدُ اللَّهَ عَلَىٰ مَا فِي قَلْبِهِ — he has the nerve to even say, Allah knows what's in my heart — وَهُوَ أَلَدُّ الْخِصَامِ. And Allah describes him with these qualities, which is what I want to talk about in today's khutbah, insha'Allah.

A person who is quarrelsome and argumentative at all times. And if you wonder — the next verse:

That when he turns around from you, they strike through the land, and they spread fitna, they spread mischief, and they destroy crops and animals and herds. And Allah does not like these people. What it's actually referring to, specifically to him, was — after he did all this praise of the Prophet ﷺ — the man is a savage. He turns around, he starts walking. It's nighttime, he sees a group of Muslims with their crops and with their animals. He sets their crops on fire, takes their animals and goes off as if he never had that conversation with the Prophet ﷺ. What a hypocrite — a خبيث, filthy human being that Allah is diagnosing here.

And the very next verse, Allah says:

And there are those on the other hand who sell themselves for the pleasure of Allah. سبحان الله — this is referring to the Khubaybs of the world, the Khabbabs of the world, the Bilals of the world. Those people who gave everything up for the sake of Allah. They wanted nothing in return. Humble to the truth, as soon as the truth came to them.

The Quality of أَلَدُّ الْخِصَامِ — The Constant Arguer

Now, what is the quality that Allah chose to describe him with? And this is where the ulama say it's important to pause for a moment — why did Allah choose, out of all the negative qualities of this man, to boil it down to أَلَدُّ الْخِصَامِ?

The Arabs used to call someone أَلَدُّ الْخِصَامِ who always has to have the last word in an argument. A person who argues for the sake of arguing. A person who's always quarrelsome. No matter what happens, they have a response. They snap back at you. No matter what you put forth in front of them, they quickly resort to something in the name of logic because to them the important thing is that they walk out of that and they have the last word.

And the Prophet ﷺ says in the hadith in the two Sahihs — in Al-Bukhari and Muslim:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 2457; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2668)

The person who Allah hates most is someone with this quality. Now, first and foremost, it relates to the revelation of truth and their inability to grasp anything of the truth. And Allah says:

Allah described the people that way. They always have an answer. They're quick to respond because they're really not trying to listen to you, ya Rasulullah. They're really trying to dissect — because at the end of the day, everything is a diversion because they don't want to abide by anything that's going to be in their minds against their interests.

You know, when someone says, "I'm going to debate with this atheist" — I'll be very honest with you sometimes. Some of you even bring someone: "I've got a non-Muslim friend I want you to talk to." You can tell when someone's arguing for the sake of arguing, and when someone is interested in the truth. If they're not interested in the truth and they're listening to you not with the intent of considering what you have to say, but considering how they can reply to what you have to say — that person has another problem. And this is what Allah is talking about with Akhnas ibn Shuraik. That his most hated quality to his people was: he always has to have the last word. The man argues for the sake of arguing. أَلَدُّ الْخِصَامِ. Constant argumentation.

Now connect this to the hadith that we mentioned a couple of weeks ago where the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 5005; Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2853)

That Allah despises a person who's eloquent in the sense that they wrap their tongues around everything the way that a cow wraps its tongue around its fodder — like they've got to get involved in everything. But in this hadith it's even more severe. أَبْغَضُ الرِّجَالِ — the most hated quality to Allah is a person who always has to snap back, always has a response, always has a retort. That is a person who's not going to be able to grasp the truth. They will destroy their relationship with Allah and they'll destroy their relationship with the people as well.

Let it go. All of this — this constant emphasis within the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4800; Jami' al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1993)

Allah guarantees you a special place in Jannah when you leave off an argument, even though you have the truth on your side. How many times do you get into a fight, an argument, maybe with your spouse, and you've got to have the last word? It's okay. Be wrong this time. It's all right. Let it go.

But a person who is khasim — a person who's constantly trying to argue — never knows when to put a pause on it. And that can have a spiritual ailment in it as well, because they always have to be right. And so the scholars say that the diagnosis of this is kibr — it's pride. "I can't accept that I'm wrong in this situation." And so with the kuffar, with the disbelievers, they couldn't accept that they were wrong with revelation. But there is a quality that then transfers over to the rest of us, where a person has to know when to take a step back. And for the sake of Allah, even in your personal relationships — it's okay. It's okay.

Al-Jidal Al-Mahmood — Praiseworthy Debate

Now, there is of course al-jidal al-mahmood — a praiseworthy type of argumentation — which is da'wah, when a person sometimes has to debate, when a person sometimes has to show the truth of Islam, show the truth of revelation. But even then, with good manners obviously, with hikmah, with wisdom and beautiful preaching. But sometimes you have to use that type of style. You've got to argue. You've got to debate.

But on a personal level, if you program yourself to where when anything comes to you, you automatically are thinking "respond" and not thinking "consider" — then that lack of humility is going to cost you in life. And it's a trait that Allah does not like.

And in fact, the scholars like Ibn Hajar rahimahullah mentioned the opposite of this. The Prophet ﷺ said in an authentic hadith:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 6481; referenced by Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Bari)

People that are easygoing — سَهْلًا, easygoing; لَيِّنًا, lenient; هَيِّنًا, gentle — Allah will forbid that person from the fire.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6927; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2165)

Allah loves that a person be lenient in their affairs. That is the opposite of this trait of the hypocrites — a disagreeable type of person.

Three Forms of Blameworthy Argumentation

Now, what does this mean for us in the world that we live in? The scholars define that a person should look at this trait in themselves in two ways.

Number one — al-jidal bil-batil (الجدال بالباطل): a person who argues falsehood because they really want to be right. They know it's not true, but they've got to win every argument. And سبحان الله, if you think about this, there are literally articles written about how social media leads us to this type of behavior. When does anyone give up in the thread? When does anyone give up in the argument? "I've got to be right." "No, that person said this, well, I can't not respond now, I have to respond." And the winner is the one who simply has more time on their hands and a harder head and a harder heart — because it's the person who's just not going to let it go until they get the last word in. That's a trait that Allah hates.

And you find that the Prophet ﷺ was to the point, always beautiful with what he said, and the Prophet ﷺ was overlooking in this regard. So that's number one: الجدال بالباطل — to speak in falsehood.

Number two — kathir al-khusooma wal-jadal (كثير الخصومة والجدل): that a person starts arguments or gets into arguments for no reason whatsoever.

Imam Al-Shafi'i — The Model of Sincere Debate

And finally, the scholars mention — سبحان الله — that Al-Imam Al-Shafi'i rahimahullah was the perfect embodiment of what Allah mentions of someone who is looking for the truth to arrive, and not necessarily on his tongue, not necessarily that he be the one who gets the answer right. He says:

"I swear by Allah that I never debated anyone except that I did not care if Allah put the truth on his tongue or my tongue." And he used to make du'a that Allah يُظْهِرَ الْحَقَّ عَلَى لِسَانِهِ — that Allah would put the truth on his opponent's tongue in a debate, so that the truth stands clear and he doesn't get the credit for it.

"I didn't want to win the debate. I didn't want to win the debate. I just wanted the truth to be clear." And that was from his sincerity rahimahullah — and that's why he never used to lose debates, because he was sincere in what he was trying to achieve. It wasn't about dominating an opponent. It wasn't about putting someone else down. It wasn't about coming out on top in any way. It was about making the truth stand clear.

On a personal level, if a person actually thinks with that mindset — "I don't have to win every argument. I just want the truth to be arrived at in some way whatsoever in my own personal relationships" — then you know what? It's okay. I can let this one go. I can hold myself back from this one. Ihtisab — seeking the reward from Allah. Allah will allow that person to benefit from both their spiritual matters as well as their worldly matters.

سبحان الله — you'll find that even when you listen to a khutbah, you listen to a text — if you're trying to skewer something, at the end of it, "I've got this question and this question and this question." It's like the man who came to Imam Al-Sha'bi rahimahullah after he talked about shaitan and warned a person from the tricks of shaitan. The only question that he came with was: "Hey, what is shaitan's wife's name?" He said to him, "I didn't get invited to the wedding. I have no idea what her name was. It's irrelevant." Why are you listening to it to poke a hole, so that you can find something? Because that person is into argumentation. That person is into something else. That's not who we are as believers, and that's not what Allah loves.

And so a person has to stop loving to be right, and instead love to be rewarded by Allah.

Closing Du'a

May Allah make us amongst those who are humble in our relationship to the revelation, in our relationship with Allah, in our relationship with the people in our lives. May Allah grant us humility in our hearts to the truth and humility in our tongues. Allahumma Ameen.

عباد الله:

فَاذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ، وَاشْكُرُوهُ عَلَى النِّعَمِ يَزِدْكُمْ، وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ، وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ. وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ.