Don't Break Your Promises

Don't Break Your Promises

One of the important character traits and qualities of the believers is that they keep their promise, that they fulfill their pledges, they maintain their covenant, they are trustworthy, they don't betray, they don't break promises, and they don't deceive, and they don't stab people in the back.

The Qualities of the True Believers

One of the important qualities of the believers — when Allah mentioned the qualities of the believers, He said:

Success indeed are the believers. But who are they? Later on Allah said:

The believers are also those who are true to their trust and covenants. Because they understand:

Honor your pledges, for you will surely be accountable for them.

The Fear of 'A'ishah

'A'ishah رضي الله عنها used to always remember — one time she made a statement, she said, "I made a pledge, I made a promise to Allah. I did not fulfill it." And she would weep. It was said to her that an excuse, a valid reason, prevented her from doing that. But she said, "But what do I do with what Allah said in the Quran?"

That means on the Day of Judgment, I will not pass, I will not move on, I will not advance to Jannah, until Allah stops me and asks me about this. Just think about how tense it is when you stand before a judge to be questioned. If I tell you today that we're going to come and audit you — the IRS coming with their lawyers to audit you — no matter how good you are, how clean a record you have, you will be worried. Who wants that? Who would voluntarily love to be questioned and put under the microscope? It's terrifying, it's scary. And that's what scared her.

Honor Allah's covenant when you make a pledge. Especially when you say Wallahi — when you make that emphasis: "I will do that, Wallahi, I promise to do this."

A Vanishing Virtue

That is one of those character traits that unfortunately today is vanishing. It has become a norm that people make promises they don't keep — starting from politicians to businesses — and it has become more and more common to cut corners, and it's treated as if it's not a big deal. Even inside the field of khair and da'wah and organizations, and in every aspect between families. Not keeping up the promise that you made with Allah — and going down to the closest people to you: your family, your people, your community, yourself.

And that is one of the worst promises that you can break — the promise that you made with your own self. You know why? Because when you break a promise with someone, that person will look down upon you. When you break a promise with someone, that person will always have a negative view of you. You know what's the worst thing to have? When you have a negative view of your own self. When you have no self-respect for yourself. Because you know that you broke that promise — and it's not that you broke it because you couldn't. No, it's just because you didn't care.

The Prophets Who Kept Their Promises

The Anbiya عليهم السلام — the prophets and messengers — were praised for being those who kept their promise.

Ibrahim, the one who fulfilled his promise. Ibn 'Abbas said: he fulfilled his promise to Allah — in conveying the message, in obedience to Allah, and in carrying out his mission. And Qatadah said: he fulfilled his promise to worship Allah, to deliver the message, to stay his course — even though he suffered so much. صلوات ربي وسلامه عليه.

When Allah mentioned a quality of the prophets and messengers — they have so many good qualities — but when Allah mentions specific qualities, it is to show you how important those qualities are. Especially for public figures, especially when you are presenting something. And I'm saying for us as Muslims here: we are all ambassadors for our religion, whether you like it or not. Especially when you live as a minority — you represent. I know sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes you feel it is heavy, but that's what it is. Say alhamdulillah that Allah chose you to be among those who bear this responsibility. Whether you like it or not, you carry it. You are representing the deen.

And mentioned in the Book: the story of Isma'il. He was truly a man of his word, and he was a messenger and prophet from his Lord. As for our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم — he is Al-Sadiq Al-Amin — the truthful, the trustworthy.

The Prophet's Trustworthiness in Migration

One of the most beautiful incidents: when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم left Mecca to migrate to Medina — you know that the disbelievers of Quraysh had kept all their belongings, their money, their gold, and their valuables with him until that very moment. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم left 'Ali ibn Abi Talib behind to make sure to distribute and return everything to its rightful owners.

Hudhayfah at the Battle of Badr

Not only that — Hudhayfah ibn al-Yaman رضي الله عنه said: "I heard the call of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم for the Battle of Badr." And you may all know or remember that in the Battle of Badr, the disbelievers outnumbered the army of the Muslims. The enemy had far more horses and soldiers. So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم needed every sword, every hand, every man.

Hudhayfah رضي الله عنه said: "I was with my father Abi Haseel. When I heard the call for Badr and we were on our way to join the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, we were captured by the people of Quraysh. They asked us, 'Are you going to fight with Muhammad? To support Muhammad?' We said, 'No, no, we are going to Medina. We are not going to the Prophet's army.' They said, 'You promise?' We said, 'We promise.' They said, 'You promise you're not going to fight with them?' We said, 'We promise. Just let us go.' And then they let them go."

It had been a ruse — they originally intended to join the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. So they came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said, "Ya Rasulullah, what should we do?" The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Keep your promise and go back to Medina." Since you made that promise, you keep your promise, and you go back to Medina.

Heraclius and the Character of the Prophet

When Heraclius, the Roman emperor, asked Abu Sufyan about the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم — notice what he asked about. He did not ask about miracles, or whether the Prophet had done any miraculous things. No. He asked about character.

He asked: "Hal yaghdur? Does he betray?" Abu Sufyan said: "No." Heraclius said: "Kadhalik al-Anbiya' — that is the character trait of the Prophets and Messengers. They never betray. They never break promises. They fulfill their promises."

Among the believers are men who have proven true to what they pledged to Allah. Some of them have fulfilled their pledges with their lives. Others are still waiting their turn. They have never changed their commitment to their Lord. They never change. They never change their commitment.

So that Allah may reward the faithful for their faithfulness.

Two Types of Pledges and Promises

There are two types of pledges and promises that we make.

1. Pledges Made with Allah

The first — and the worst to break — are the pledges and promises you make with Allah. This is severe, dangerous territory. When you make a promise to Allah, then you break it.

Fulfill your covenant with Me. Abu al-'Aliyah said: the covenant is "that you worship Me and never worship anyone else alongside Me," and that you follow the commands of Allah. And in return — "I will fulfill My covenant toward you." Ibn 'Abbas said: meaning, "I will be pleased with you and I will enter you into Jannah."

Where does that covenant come from?

Did I not take a covenant from you, O children of Adam, that you not worship Shaytan? He is truly your clear enemy. That you will not follow Shaytan. You will not obey Shaytan. He is truly your enemy.

The Ruling on Nadr (Vows)

And one of the ways a person makes a pledge with Allah is through a nadr — a vow. You say: نَذَرْتُ لِلَّهِ — "I make a promise to Allah, I will do this."

The believers fulfill their nadr, their vow.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6696)

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "If you make a nadr to obey Allah, you must fulfill it. And if you make a nadr to do something that is considered haram or bid'ah, you should not fulfill it."

By the way, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also said:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 4579; also Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6608)

"A nadr is only a way of extracting from a stingy person." A nadr is not something that is praised to initiate — but you are praised if you fulfill it. It is not recommended to make this kind of promise. Saying: "I promise You, Allah, I will fast three days if You heal so-and-so" — or: "Ya Allah, if You give me this amount of money, if You make this business deal go through, I will donate $100,000" — these kinds of vows are highly disliked. Because the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said this is just a way to extract from stingy people. You should give whether Allah made it happen or not. You should donate regardless. It doesn't matter whether you get a million dollars or fifty dollars. You should fast — it doesn't matter whether Allah heals your sick loved one or not.

It's like making a deal: "Do this for me and I'll do that for You." That's why it is not recommended to do it. But if you do make such a vow, you must fulfill it. It is exactly like when you say Wallahi, I will do that — it is not recommended to make an oath using Allah's name frequently, لا يُمدح الإنسان بكثرة الحلف. But if you do make an oath by Allah's name, you must fulfill it. فيُمدح الإنسان بإيفاء النذر وبإيفاء اليمين.

2. Pledges Made Between People

The other type of pledge is the one you make between yourself and other people — promises in business transactions, in relationships, in general public dealings, and so forth.

O you who believe, fulfill your pledges, fulfill your promises.

Those who honor Allah's covenant and never break the pledges and promises that they make.

The Three Signs of the Hypocrite

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: there are three clear signs of hypocrisy.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 33; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 59)

"When he speaks, he lies. When he makes a promise, he breaks it. When you trust him with something, he betrays you."

How to Keep Your Promises

How can you keep your promises? Don't ever make a promise you cannot keep. Don't make too many promises so you overwhelm yourself. Don't overpromise.

There are three things you should never break. You should always have the intention: I will never break these. I always say in life — there are three things you don't break:

Don't break your promise. Don't break a trust. And don't break somebody's heart.

These are very hard to salvage. It's like a mirror — when you break it, you cannot bring it back. You cannot put it back together and have it be as perfect as it was. Very, very hard.

Also make sure that whenever you make a promise, you have the sincere intention to fulfill it, and you ask Allah to help you fulfill it. But if you keep making these promises while inside your heart you never really intend to fulfill them, there is a problem.

The Story of the Cameraman

A friend of mine who is a speaker was once recording something for TV. The cameraman would take a break every 13 minutes to go and smoke. So my friend said to him: "Why don't you quit smoking? Ramadan — what an excellent opportunity. We are in Mecca, in the last ten days of Ramadan." The cameraman said, "You know what? Inshallah, I promise you I will quit. Just make du'a for me." He was excited, he seemed committed.

So the sheikh said, "Okay, come." He had him face the Ka'bah from the window. He raised his hands and said: "Ya Allah, Ya Arham al-Rahimin..." He mentioned Allah's beautiful names and attributes, made a long, heartfelt introduction. The cameraman was so moved — he was in tears. Everyone in the room was saying "Ameen." Then at the end, my friend said: "Ya Rabb, make all of this happen for him — if he quits smoking."

He doesn't know why he said it that way. But he said: the man had been saying "Ameen, Ameen" — and when he said that last part, the man stopped and stared at him. He never said "Ameen." Do you know why? Because he never really intended to quit smoking. It was just a cheap word: "Ya sheikh, I promise you, I'll do that." He never had real determination from inside.

People with good intentions make promises, I believe. But you know what I've learned? People with good character keep them.

May Allah make us among those who always keep their promises.

Promises to Our Families

One of the things we must always reflect upon is our promises to our families. It is so hard for me when I see people who made promises upon marriage — to their spouses, to treat them well, to be honest, to be good to them — and they do not fulfill those promises. It is so hard for me to see people who promised when they entered into a relationship that they would be a good father, a good mother — but they are not. They are not fulfilling the promise, the rights owed to their children.

It is so hard for me when I hear horror stories about people not giving the dowry to their spouses, and not fulfilling all the conditions — whether they remain together or when they separate from each other. There is a promise, there is a covenant that has been taken.

A very firm commitment has been taken from you toward each other. By the words of Allah, this man and this woman became halal to each other.

The Terrifying Consequence of Breaking a Promise with Allah

I want to end this khutbah with this. Listen to what Allah says in Surah At-Tawbah:

The context of this verse: there were some who had made a vow to Allah — "If He gives us from His bounty, we will surely spend in charity and be of the righteous." But when Allah gave them out of His generosity, they withheld and turned away. So Allah says: He caused hypocrisy to be lodged into their hearts — as a punishment — until the day they meet Him, because they broke their promise to Allah and because they used to lie.

Ya Rabb. Those people — what did they promise? They promised that if Allah gave them wealth, they would be donors, that they would give for the sake of Allah. They promised two things: that they would be righteous and that they would give, donate, and support. But they broke that promise with Allah. And what was the punishment? Allah put hypocrisy into their hearts.

That is a terrifying verse for any one of us. And I do believe that was the reason the Sahabah were so scared of hypocrisy. Ibn Abi Mulaykah said: "I met thirty companions who witnessed the Battle of Badr — all of them feared hypocrisy." You know why? Because you don't know how hypocrisy can become installed in your heart as a form of punishment for a promise you broke with Allah.

You promised Allah that would be the last time you did it. "I'll never do that again. I'll never be there again. I'll not do this haram again. I'll make sure to purify my money." So many promises made — and every time broken. Those people broke the promise of giving sadaqah, giving for the sake of Allah. What about those who made a promise to stop the major sins — the dhulm, the injustice — and every time Allah gives them a chance to correct themselves, they don't?

Aren't you afraid that Allah takes that iman away from your heart and replaces it with hypocrisy? And the problem with hypocrisy is that you don't feel it. Hypocrites truly believe they are good. They said:

"We are only reformers, we are doing good." But they don't feel it. That is the danger of it. That is something that should make us think deeply about all these promises.

We repent to Allah sincerely. We try our best to keep our promises. And we ask Allah to settle and resolve all that is between us and His servants.