Don't Underestimate the Power of Faith

Opening Praise and Testimony

We praise Him, we ask for His guidance and we ask for His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of our souls and from the evil of our deeds. Indeed, whoever Allah guides, no one is misguided. And whoever is misguided, you will not find for him a rightful guardian.

And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone, and no partner for Him. A word upon which the earth and the heavens rose. And Allah initiated humanity upon it. And it is the basis of obligation and Sunnah. And whoever's last words are there is no god but Allah, enters Paradise.

O Allah, we ask You for Your grace to make the last of our words in this world, there is no god but Allah. O Allah, grant us to live upon there is no god but Allah. And grant us to die upon there is no god but Allah. And send us forth upon there is no god but Allah. And admit us to Paradise.

And I bear witness that our Master, our Prophet, our Teacher, our Beloved, and our Intercessor on the Day of Resurrection is Sayyidina Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم.

A Personal Story: The Khutbah I Did Not Plan to Give

My dear brothers and sisters, in the few minutes that I will have with you today, I will be sharing a personal story and an incident that took place somewhere here in Dallas. And from my story and the incident, we are hoping to walk away with some practical lessons. So a few months back, one of our beloved imams, Imam Kashif of ICI, he lost his daughter. I ask Allah to unite them in Jannah, Allahumma Ameen.

I do remember very well that the janazah was right before Salatul Jumu'ah. And this is quite unusual. The reason why the imam, may Allah reward him, decided to do the janazah before Salatul Jumu'ah was to accommodate other imams as well. As you all know, it's difficult for an imam to actually go to any masjid during Salatul Jumu'ah unless they themselves give the khutbah.

So long story short, I attended the janazah, and I knew that a couple of hours after that I would have to go back to Frisco Masjid, where I serve, to give the khutbah. So I drive all the way to ICI and then I wait there until I see the imam. I see the imam coming out, and in front of him, the body of his daughter. And the same, brothers and sisters, brought a lot of memories that I had — very similar memories — being an imam who lost a child in New York City. I ask Allah to unite us with our children, ya Rabbil Alameen.

It was a very painful, very difficult situation. And everything kind of flashed back. And to be very honest with you, I thought I had healed from the pain of losing a child. But it seems to me that the pain was deep, deep inside myself. And the mistake that I made in the very beginning was when I refused to speak to the social worker when I received the news of the death of the child. When she tried to speak with me, I was very emotional and I said, please just let me out of the hospital. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to leave.

So when I saw the imam, all the memories started coming back. I got emotional. And that is honestly okay. It is okay.

Breaking the Stigma: It Is Okay to Cry

There is a stigma in our community that as a man, as an imam, you are not allowed to cry. A lot of times when your child cries, you tell them, "Hey, why are you crying? You're a man." So what? The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, who is better than you and I, cried as well. So that is a stigma that we need to break. I became vulnerable. That is okay. I'm a human being at the end of the day.

I got emotional when I saw the imam and the body, and everything just flashed back. Some of the brothers around me were trying to hold me and said, "Please, can you stop? You are not helping the situation." And I thought they were actually being mean to me. When you see someone getting emotional, you don't treat them like that. Show respect. Everyone has their own struggles and pain in life.

One of the brothers said, "Can you please stop crying?" I said, "I will not stop."

Brothers and sisters, one thing that came to my mind during this time was: what am I going to do with the khutbah that I will have to speak about? I didn't feel like talking. I didn't feel like giving any khutbah.

At the Cemetery — and a Conversation That Changed Everything

So long story short, we go to the cemetery. I get even more emotional. And one of the imams takes me to the side — he didn't know my story — and he said, "Sheikh, what is going on?" So I briefly told him what happened. He hugged me and said, "May Allah make it easy for you." I said, "I want to tell you something." He said, "What's going on?" I said, "I have a khutbah in about an hour and a half. But I kid you not, imam, I don't want to go give the khutbah."

I was thinking of one of two things: first, just don't show up and don't talk to anybody, and someone else will give the khutbah. Or, just call the masjid and say I cannot make it for any reason. The imam said, "Sheikh, you need to go. This is a big responsibility. You need to give the khutbah." I said, "But the topic that I've been preparing since the beginning of the week — that is not the topic I want to talk about." He said, "What do you want to talk about?" I said, "I want to talk about how to deal with losing a child. A message to those who lost their children — or to be honest, anyone who lost any beloved ones." He said, "That is what you need to talk about."

Breaking the Stigma: It Is Okay to Seek Help

It was still difficult for me. There is a therapist that I know that I speak with sometimes. Again — it is okay to speak to a therapist. It is okay. There is nothing against that. That is another stigma that in our community we need to break. Speak to people when you have emotions and feelings inside of you. Talk to someone. It will help, I promise.

I spoke to the therapist over the phone and explained the situation exactly the way I am explaining to you. He said, "What do you feel like talking about?" I said, "That is exactly what I want to talk about." And he said, "Talk to people about this. Perhaps there is somebody out there who is waiting to hear this message from you."

The Khutbah That Healed Hearts

I drove back to the masjid. I started the khutbah with a disclaimer and said, "Whatever you are going to hear from me is coming straight from my heart. I did not prepare anything." And I mentioned the story that I just shared with you. It was one of the most emotional, most sincere khutbahs that I have ever given in my life.

There were two things I mentioned during the khutbah that I remember very well. Number one, I mentioned the story of the therapist telling me, "Perhaps there is somebody out there who is waiting to hear this message from you." The second thing I told people was: no matter how much you try to sympathize with those who lost their children or loved ones, it is not going to be the same as the person who is actually enduring the pain — especially when losing a child. No matter how much you say, "I'm sorry for your loss, I feel what you feel" — trust me.

And I said, Alhamdulillah for the blessing of having children. If your children are with you and you are taking them to their room at night, covering them, making sure they are warm — it is a blessing from Allah. Because you can never feel the pain of someone who is covering their own child with dirt. Hug your children. Love your children. They are a blessing from Allah.

Three Lives Touched by One Khutbah

After the khutbah, a couple of brothers approached me. One of them I know — he waited for a very long time. When I finally went to him, he hugged me and said, "You did mention in the khutbah that the therapist asked you to speak about this. Sheikh, I am the person who needed to hear this message. I also lost a child. And your message just healed me." And it hit home. That was the first example.

The same exact day, I received an email from a physician who works with children — I believe in the emergency room. He emailed me and said, "Thank you so much for this emotional khutbah. I deal with children's losses a lot. But after you talked about how parents suffer, and how painful it is for a parent to bury their children, I started to sympathize more with the parents. So thank you so much for making me a better doctor."

The same day, brothers and sisters — the same night — a brother knocked on my office door and came in, very emotional. I hugged him and said, "Brother, what's going on?" He said, "I was attending your khutbah today, and with me was my child. He was nine years old." I said, "What is going on?" He said, "When you mentioned that you will never know the pain of the parent who buries their child and covers them with dirt — with me, I had my child sitting in my lap. He was in pain."

"Imam, I just wanted to let you know that we just received the preliminary report that he was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer." SubhanAllah al-'Aliyul-'Azeem. When I heard that, I thought, I really wish he had not been in the masjid when I said that. I said, "Allah will save your child, inshallah."

And SubhanAllah, brothers and sisters — his wife had lost her mother a few months before that. Her mother was everything to her. And she had raised her hands and said, "Ya Allah, never ever test me and my children." And here Allah was testing her and her children. SubhanAllah.

The Lesson: The Power of Faith

A month passed. I spoke with the child — he was a very innocent young man. A few days later, I received a phone call in the middle of the night: "Please come to the Children's Hospital in Dallas." I said, "What's going on?" He said, "My child, unfortunately, is taking his last breath. They are going to remove life support, and they are waiting for you."

So I go there, brothers and sisters. And this is the lesson I am sharing with you. I go to the room and I see a mother and a father sitting next to their nine-year-old while he is slowly dying, taking his final last breaths. And they are hugging him. They are telling him how much they love him. And they look at me and say, "Is he going to be in Jannah?" I said, "Yes, he will be in Jannah. He is ghayru mukallaf. He is ma'sum, alhamdulillah." They smiled and said, "Alhamdulillah."

And then they asked me: "What can we do to be with him in Jannah?"

Brothers and sisters, that is the lesson I want to share with you. The power of faith. Do not underestimate the power of faith. The power of being a believer in Allah.

A Community That Must Take Care of Its Own

I heard what happened in Allen. A father lost his daughter in a swimming pool, and the rest is news. He was not able to handle it. And according to the news that I received, he decided to just destroy everything and take everyone's lives. Brothers and sisters, I am not blaming the family. I am not blaming the brother. I am not judging anybody here. The point I am trying to get across is that as a community, we need to take care of people who are going through pain and struggle.

There are a lot of people who have been silently in pain. There are people we don't check on. Tell me — when you hear that someone lost a child, a mother, or a father, what comes to our mind? We say we're so sorry, we attend the janazah, and then we go right away. Just like that.

When I went to the Children's Hospital — and this is not to praise myself — the chaplain was not a Muslim. And when she saw how we deal with the family, taking care of the tadfeen, the janazah, and all the process, she said, "You should become a chaplain yourself." I said, "In our deen, in our faith, this is what we should be doing."

Take care of people. Do something. Perhaps the family in Allen had nobody to talk to them. They also perhaps did not seek help. Talk to one another. There are people who are struggling, who are in pain — wallahi. And this is not our deen, to leave people like that.

If you hear that someone lost a loved one, the first thing to do is take care of their necessities — the burial, the janazah, all of that. But these people will still eat. Make sure, as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

"Prepare food for the family of Ja'far." (Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 21, Hadith 3126; Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Book 11, Hadith 998)

Organize a meal train from the community to make sure the father and mother have food. Make sure the other children are taken care of — who is going to drop them to school. That is how we support. Give the family space sometimes, but also talk to the family.

Your Value in the Eyes of Allah

Brothers and sisters, if you have any kind of negative thoughts that Shaitan puts in your mind sometimes, please understand something: you are amazing. You are the creation of Allah. You know how valuable you are to Allah? If you ever think you are worthless or you have no value in this dunya — Allah mentioned your karama and your dignity in the Quran:

"We have certainly honored the children of Adam."

Brothers and sisters, do not make your child feel that they are worthless. When you compare them to their cousins because of a report card — "Look at your cousin, look at your cousin. You're worthless. You cannot do anything." — you are killing a human being. And Allah said:

"Whoever kills a soul — unless for a soul or for corruption in the land — it is as if he had slain mankind entirely. And whoever saves one, it is as if he had saved mankind entirely." Do not underestimate this, brothers and sisters.

So my message to anyone who is having these kinds of thoughts: number one, know that you are unique and you are amazing, and Allah created you for a reason. You have value in this earth. Secondly, remember to come out and seek help. Seek professional help. There are a lot of people out there who are ready to help you, ready to listen to you. Help yourself. Don't surrender to Shaitan and withdraw from society and community.

Faith Can Save Lives

Brothers and sisters, do not underestimate the power of faith in saving lives. Wallahi. A lot of times we talk about mental health — and I personally am not against seeing a therapist or a professional. I am not against that. But a lot of times we don't talk about the deen of Allah. How iman can save lives? Wallahi, it can.

Some people say, "If someone has already decided to do something, do you think the deen is going to do anything?" It will. I want you to go and look this up. While I was searching for this topic, every single time I typed something related to self-harm in Google, this message would come up: "Is there anything you want to talk about? I'm here to listen to you. Here is the number for the prevention helpline." I'd go to YouTube — same thing. There are a lot of resources out there.

And then one video that I stopped and watched, SubhanAllah, was Mufti Menk's video — I want you to look it up — called Suicide Is Not the Solution. It is a beautiful short video. I went straight to the comment section. Brothers and sisters, 95% of the comments said, "This talk saved my life." He simply talked about Allah — the power of faith and the power of deen during these difficult times. Go read the comments. If you think the deen cannot help someone, cannot save somebody's life — the deen can actually do that.

Remind the person that we are all tested here in this dunya, and that there is no true happiness until we meet Allah in Jannah.

The Promise of Jannah

Brothers and sisters, anyone who is going through struggles, anxiety, or depression — remind yourself that on the Day of Judgment, inshallah, you will hear four beautiful words:

After the people of Jannah enter Jannah, they will hear the call: "O people of Jannah, you will live and you will never die again." No more death — khalas, alhamdulillah.

"O people of Jannah, you will always be happy. There is no anxiety, no depression" — khalas, over. And you will always be young — you will never grow old again, ever. SubhanAllah.

If you are going through difficulty or hardship, remind yourself of this. The happiness of this dunya is temporary. Do not deprive yourself of the eternal happiness of the Akhirah.

A Word on the Scholars' Opinions

When you harm yourself, let me be very blunt about it — I know a lot of people don't talk about this, and a lot of imams don't talk about this. The scholars had three different opinions regarding the person who takes their own life.

The first opinion is that that person is no longer a Muslim, and — وَالْعِيَاذُ بِاللَّهِ — is eternally in the Fire. Yes, it may sound harsh. But it is one opinion, and it is a reality.

The second opinion is that he is still a Muslim. We can pray janazah and everything. Although the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم himself refused to pray janazah on a person who committed suicide — he refused to lead the janazah prayer, but he did not stop the companions from performing it. Under this opinion, the person is a Muslim but committed a major sin.

The third opinion is that أَمْرُهُ مُفَوَّضٌ إِلَى اللَّهِ — the matter is left to Allah, whether to forgive him or not.

The question is: if you are thinking of doing something like this to yourself — may Allah protect us all — what if the first opinion was the correct one? What is going to happen?

Closing: Help One Another

Brothers and sisters, help yourself. Our dear beloved community — help your brothers and sisters. Talk to one another. Ask about one another. And help one another.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ

Alhamdulillah wa kafaa, wa salatu wa salam 'ala 'ibadihilladhina stafa. Ash-hadu an la ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan 'abduhu wa rasuluh. Amma ba'd.

I ask Allah to protect our beloved ones, ya Rabbil Alameen, and to unite us with our loved ones in Jannat al-Firdaws.