Dua to Overcome Feeling Helpless

Du'a to Overcome Feeling Helpless

We begin by praising Allah, bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him, and we bear witness that Muhammad ﷺ is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in their blessed path until the Day of Judgment. We ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen.

Dear brothers and sisters, we've spent the last few weeks talking about Palestine and what we see in Palestine and what we see in the world in terms of those that are oppressed. The ones that we mention frequently, like our brothers and sisters in Palestine, and the ones that are in the background, like our brothers and sisters in Afghanistan and Iraq and Syria — and the list goes on.

Things continue to unfold for them in a horrible way, and as we see these things, a lot of times there can be a shut-off inside of you. And I want us to talk about this idea of al-'ajz — of being unable, feeling helpless. It's actually a very interesting word, and it's one that the Prophet ﷺ taught us in several of his du'as and several of his supplications. Realize there is al-'ajz in both our personal and our social contexts — both those things that affect us at the family level and those things that affect us at a global level, at a community level.

Al-'ajz is if you're seeing someone that you love in a lot of pain and you can't do anything to help them. Some of us have been in that situation — you see someone, a child, a parent, a spouse, a friend, someone that you love and you wish you could do something but you can't do anything. And so you feel a sense of inability, you feel a sense of helplessness.

Al-'ajz could indeed be that you see the injustice of the world and you say سبحان الله, SubhanAllah — اللهم اغفر لنا عجزنا — Oh Allah, forgive us for our inability.

When we see our brothers and sisters in Palestine, when we see people that are oppressed at this level and this becomes a repeated thing where it's video after video — the trauma of seeing police brutality in the United States, if you are a Black parent in this country and you have to worry about that being your child; the trauma of seeing people back home if you have migrated to this country and you realize that you are in a place of goodness and welfare and they're in a place of hardship — all of these things shut us off and they could make us feel a great sense of 'ajz, of inability.

The Du'a of the Morning and Evening

There is a du'a that we say morning and evening. It is not a new du'a for people to learn — I think for the most part you have all heard this du'a. But I want to elaborate on these few concepts, insha'Allah, as they relate to us at a deeply personal level. Because if we are in a place where we're asking Allah to help us overcome certain things that hold us back, and if we are able to gain certain qualities, then that will make us more productive in all of our affairs.

This is a hadith — the du'a is authentic across the board. The incident behind it is disputed. However, the du'a is undisputed in terms of how authentic it is.

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri radiyallahu ta'ala anhu says that once the Prophet ﷺ entered the masjid and he saw a man from the Ansar named Abu Umama. So he said to Abu Umama:

"Oh Abu Umama, why is it that I see you sitting in this masjid at a time that is outside of the prayer time?"

فِي غَيْرِ وَقْتِ الصَّلَاةِ — of course there were people that would sit and do tadabbur and tafakkur, there were people that would do reflection and contemplation, there were people that would engage themselves in remembrance. But Abu Umama looked like he had a lot on his mind, a lot on his heart. He was at the masjid at a time where he typically was not at the masjid before.

And our Prophet ﷺ, who had enough on his plate, adds more to his plate by going and asking people how they're doing. Now that's something — by the way — that should not be missed in this hadith. Rasulullah ﷺ — you can imagine when he came to the masjid how much he's carrying, when he leaves the masjid how much he's carrying. And sometimes you don't ask someone how they're doing because you know you're going to get into a long conversation, you know that this is going to prolong itself — I might regret getting involved because I don't have time to deal with this right now. But our Messenger ﷺ would ask people about them. He would ask about people that were missing, and he would ask people that were there but seemed to be in a different place — that were physically present but emotionally, mentally looked like they were somewhere else.

So why is it, oh Abu Umama, I see you in this situation? So Abu Umama said to the Prophet ﷺ:

"Ya Rasulullah, I'm just overcome with a lot of anxiety and I'm buried in debt too. So I have a lot going on in my life right now. I'm grieving, I have a lot of anxiety and at the same time, I'm buried in this debt."

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"Shall I not teach you some words that if you say them on a daily basis in the morning and the evening, Allah will do away with your anxiety and Allah will do away with your debts?"

Abu Umama replied, "O Messenger of Allah, yes!" And the Prophet ﷺ said to say, morning and evening:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 1555; also reported in Musnad Ahmad)

"Oh Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and grief. And I seek refuge in You from inability and from laziness. And I seek refuge in You from cowardice and stinginess. And I seek refuge in You from the burden of debt and from being subjugated to men."

Abu Umama continues — he said: I did what the Prophet ﷺ told me, so Allah indeed removed my anxiety and Allah did away with my debts.

Breaking Down the Du'a

Al-Hamm and Al-Hazan — Anxiety and Grief

I want to talk about this, particularly from the first two sentences — the difference between these words and what the Prophet ﷺ is actually giving to us.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ — Oh Allah, I seek refuge in You from al-hamm, which is anxiety, and al-hazan, which is grief.

Al-hamm, the scholars say, refers to anxiety over the future. I'm worried about what's going to come next. I'm worried about tomorrow. I'm uncertain about this situation. I don't know how this is going to unfold, and that's causing me a great sense of paralysis.

And the Prophet ﷺ mentioned: "Whoever wakes up and has the dunya — the life of this world — as their greatest hamm, their greatest concern, that which causes them great anxiety," جَعَلَ اللَّهُ فَقْرَهُ بَيْنَ عَيْنَيْهِ — "Allah places poverty between his two eyes." All he sees is poverty at all times. And so the hamm here is not a positive hamm — it's not worrying about something that is good, but rather the anxiety that comes with being uncertain about the future.

Al-hazan is grief and it refers to the past. It refers to a great sense of loss. I can't get out of the pain that I am feeling from the past. And so, SubhanAllah, you're asking Allah to remove the concern of the future and the burden of the past so that you can be more productive in the present. Because at the end of the day, both of these things paralyze you. They both stop you from being able to move forward.

And sometimes we might think that we should feel a sense of guilt for moving on from something. The Shaytan leads you to either unproductive action or to no action at all by giving you good-sounding words — "How can you move on from the past? You should feel guilty. You should hold yourself to the past and you should not do anything." That is something that Allah does not praise about a person.

You might think that it's a sin that you committed in the past and you can't get over it. النَّدَمُ تَوْبَةٌ — regret is repentance. But at the same time, hasra — which is remorse where a person just sits around and says يَا حَسْرَةً, "I messed up, I messed up, I messed up" — that is not a praiseworthy quality.

And so a person is either stuck in the past or they're way too concerned about the future. The scholars mention here that when it comes to the past — because you're not just saying these du'as without understanding the attributes of Allah behind them — Allah will not hold you to the sins that you have committed in the past if you repented from them. So if it's a sin that's causing you grief, Allah will not hold you to that. Allah wants you to move forward.

Think about this if you were among the Sahabah. We talked about Hamza radiyallahu ta'ala anhu a few nights ago — imagine being Wahshi, and you caused that grief to the Prophet ﷺ by killing someone so beloved to him, but still you have the motivation to move on. Allah does not want you to be frozen or paralyzed by your past.

So if it is a sin or something that you've done badly, you need to understand that Allah is the most forgiving. If it is pain that you feel over something that indeed happened to you, then it is Allah that compensates for that pain in the Hereafter — the compensation awaits around the corner. If it is regret that you did not do something differently — sometimes we think, "I could have done this differently and this wouldn't have happened," and we beat ourselves up over not having done enough for someone, or not having intervened at a certain point — then know that Allah had a plan for that person, just as Allah has a plan for you.

The point is that you're not supposed to be frozen by your past, paralyzed by your past, but instead use it, grow out of it, and think about that which comes afterwards, bi'idhnillahi ta'ala.

And remember that when a person is so afraid, anxious, uncertain about that which comes next — Allah is indeed upon all things in control. Everything is going to unfold in the way that it is going to unfold whether you concern yourself with it or not. But by acting in a way that is praiseworthy bi'idhnillahi ta'ala, the future will hold a positive fate for you.

So — al-hamm wal-hazan. And this is also reflected in what the angels say to us when we are dying:

"Do not be afraid and do not grieve, and receive good tidings of Paradise which you were promised." When a person is leaving this world, the angels say أَلَّا تَخَافُوا — don't worry about that which comes next — وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا — and don't grieve over that which you are leaving behind. What's going to happen with their kids? What's going to happen with their spouse? What's going to happen with this person and that person and all of this? لَا تَحْزَنُوا. What's going to happen next, where am I going, what's the next stage here? At this point there is no 'amal, there are no actions. أَلَّا تَخَافُوا — don't be afraid. Allah is going to take care of you at this point.

Al-'Ajz and Al-Kasal — Inability and Laziness

Now I'll talk about the second one — مِنَ الْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ. This is very powerful. Because al-'ajz and al-kasal often get translated as the same thing.

Al-'ajz, which is inability, is عَدَمُ الْقُدْرَةِ عَلَى فِعْلِ الشَّيْءِ — it is when you don't have the ability to do something. So things are truly out of your control. You're in a situation where you are helpless and you can't do anything about it. And you're asking Allah, "Oh Allah, protect me from that."

Al-kasal is when you have الْقُدْرَةَ عَلَى الشَّيْءِ — you have the ability to do something — but you have al-tathaqul, a burden, something that's holding you back. You're able but you're not willing. You can, but you don't.

And a lot of times we resign things to al-'ajz that are really just al-kasal. Many of us put things in the domain of "we're not able to do it," where the reality is we're not willing to do it. So finding the motivation, finding the willpower to be able to do something. And this is something that we have to remind ourselves — that we push ourselves as much as we can. And sometimes the things that Allah opens up for us as a result of His blessing, bi'idhnillah, insha'Allah, by His will, by His permission, are things that we would have never thought we were capable of.

Al-Jubn and Al-Bukhl — Cowardice and Stinginess

Now the last thing — مِنَ الْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ — cowardice and stinginess. Cowardice is when I restrain myself when I should say something, when I should do something. Al-bukhl is when I don't spend when I could spend, when I'm not generous, when I'm paralyzed by a sense of fear of poverty.

And then you find غَلَبَةِ الدَّيْنِ وَقَهْرِ الرِّجَالِ — to not be burdened by debt, or to be at the mercy of another person, to be subjugated by men. When the Prophet ﷺ was in Ta'if, he said: إِلَى مَنْ تَكِلُنِي؟ — "Who are you leaving me to? Oh Allah, are you leaving me to a family member, or are you leaving me to a stranger? Who are you leaving me to?" Because no one likes to be at the mercy of another human being in any way whatsoever.

The Transformative Power of This Du'a

What I want us to leave with today — what is the psychological effect of repeating this du'a every morning and evening and understanding what it means?

Reminding yourself that Allah is in control of the future — so you should not lose yourself in uncertainty about it. Reminding yourself that Allah has forgiven what you have done in the past, and Allah will allow that past to lead to future growth. Reminding yourself not to grieve over it. Reminding yourself that you get yourself out of al-'ajz — that there are certain things that I cannot control, but oh Allah, forgive me when I can't control a situation and help me overcome those situations. Oh Allah, open up those doors for me. And when it comes to al-kasal, when a person just does not find the willpower to do anything anymore, when a person shuts down — all of these are deeply complex topics, but the effect of reading this on a morning and evening basis, where you're understanding the attributes of Allah and you understand the deep wisdom of these words — these are things that can truly transform our lives and, more importantly, can lead to elevation in the Hereafter.

We ask Allah to protect us:

Allahumma ameen.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Second Part of the Khutbah — Du'as and Closing

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَمَنْ وَالَاهُ

فَاذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ وَاشْكُرُوهُ عَلَى النِّعَمِ يَزِدْكُمْ وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ

And establish the prayer.