Emotional Fragility: A Prophetic Approach

Emotional Fragility: A Prophetic Approach

Amma ba'ad, my dear brothers and sisters, growing up, we would always hear some hadith from Rasulullah ﷺ, and a lot of times because of the belief and the love and the muhabbat that we have for Rasulullah ﷺ, we tend to ignore the message that Rasulullah ﷺ is trying to convey within these situations and within these hadith. So sometimes we pass by a hadith and a lot of times it doesn't make sense to us. We don't even understand it, but because we cannot question the Prophet ﷺ, we just go over the hadith.

So there are two incidents that I read so many times, and probably you've heard about them before. When I was little, I passed by, read the hadith and especially the story in the seerah, but I didn't think too much. But then later on when I started reading more in the science of psychology and all of that, a lot of things started making sense. Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen.

The Story of Khabbab ibn al-Arat

So the first incident — and I want you to really focus on this because this is very interesting. Khabbab ibn al-Arat, in the beginning of the Dawah in Mecca, was one of the first companions who accepted Islam, one of the first people to accept Islam, and one of the most tortured people. He faced a lot of difficulties and a lot of pain. And in the beginning he was able to handle and manage the pain and he was able to control his emotions and did not even complain to Rasulullah ﷺ. But one day, Khabbab ibn al-Arat got to a breaking point.

What we call nowadays a breaking point. Like, I cannot handle anymore — the issues and the struggles are too much, and I do not think that I can handle them anymore. So he went to Rasulullah ﷺ and he said, "Ya Rasulallah, shouldn't you ask Allah to help us? We're tired."

That's what the message was. That's exactly what he was trying to say. We're tired. And we knew that you have du'a — the du'a of the prophets and messengers, Allah answers it. So why would Rasulullah ﷺ not simply raise his hand and say, "Ya Allah, help them out"?

Someone comes to you and tells you that they've been tortured, they're in pain — and then instead of simply comforting them, what did Rasulullah ﷺ say? He said to Khabbab — and to summarize the response — he said: "You have no idea what the people before you have gone through. They've gone through jaheem. It was much more than that." And then Rasulullah ﷺ told him: "This religion is going to prevail everywhere in the world. But I think you are in a rush."

So I want you to just take a step back and analyze this situation. Someone is in extreme pain, coming to Rasulullah ﷺ, telling him, "I'm struggling — just make du'a that Allah helps me out." And Rasulullah ﷺ tells him, "You are in a rush. Have sabr." I would always read this hadith and this story and think — why did Rasulullah ﷺ respond this way? I will come back to this incident, but let me go to another one first.

The Story of Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum

Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum — he was a visually impaired Sahabi, a blind man. So he goes to Rasulullah ﷺ and he says, "Ya Rasulallah, I am a blind person and I cannot go to the masjid. There is no one to take me by the hand and walk me to the masjid. Can I pray at home?"

And I want you to think about this. Rasulullah ﷺ looks at him and says, "Do you hear the Adhan?" He says, "Yes, ya Rasulallah, I hear the Adhan." He said, "Then go to the masjid and pray."

I want you again to take a step back and analyze this situation. Rasulullah ﷺ, the messenger of Rahmah, is saying to a blind man: go to the masjid. Because you hear the Adhan, it is becoming wajib upon you. Why?

Emotional Fragility vs. Emotional Immunity

So growing up, I would read stories like this and ask — what is the message that Rasulullah ﷺ is trying to convey? What is he teaching Khabbab? And now Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum?

Brothers and sisters, when you read in psychology you will read about something called emotional fragility. You become so fragile because of the many tests and trials you go through that you feel helplessness — there is no way out, you cannot go beyond that. You reach a breaking point. But Rasulullah ﷺ wanted to do something different. He wanted to give them something called emotional immunity — emotional and psychological immunity. He was telling them: No, you can do more than that. You can handle more than that.

And Allahu musta'an — you go to a physician nowadays and you're in pain, and they know they can give you antibiotics. A lot of times they know that the antibiotic is going to reduce your pain and you're going to feel better. However, they tell you: do not take too much. Why? Why not take too much painkiller? Because eventually it is going to weaken your immune system. You can let your natural immune system resist that pain and fight back on its own — Allah created it like that.

Rasulullah ﷺ wanted to teach Khabbab ibn al-Arat a very valuable lesson: You can do it. Be strong, Khabbab. I hear you. I feel you. You're going through a lot. But I know, wallahi, you can handle more than that. What Rasulullah ﷺ was trying to do was to take them out of emotional fragility and into resilience and strength.

And now Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum — Rasulullah ﷺ was saying: figure it out. Don't sit at home just because you have some form of disability. You can do a lot of things. One of them — find a way to get to the masjid.

A Living Example: Sheikh Abdullah Kamil

I never fully understood this until I became very close to Sheikh Abdullah Kamil, rahimahullah wa ta'ala — one of the greatest reciters. May Allah have mercy on him. Some of you may have heard him before. I was very close to him. I would always walk with him in Egypt and Saudi Arabia and here from place to place. And Sheikh Abdullah, rahimahullah, would travel all the way from Egypt to the US by himself. I was with him in Hajj. I would hold him by the hand and walk with him, and I would always ask him questions.

Sheikh Abdullah was a blind man. I would ask him, "Sheikh Abdullah, why are you not holding your cane?" He would say, "Because I can see everything. I'm not weak." This is the immunity that Rasulullah ﷺ was building in Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum. He said, "I can see everything." He said, "Sheikh, the day and the moment I hold the cane in my hand, I know that I am disabled. I am not disabled."

Rasulullah ﷺ said: "Do you hear the Adhan? Then go to the masjid — figure it out."

A Lesson from Military Service

I served in the Egyptian Navy for a year, and wallahi, in the very beginning, with the drills and everything going on — it's not easy to serve in the army. It's no joke. In the beginning they would ask us to do something just to strengthen us, and I would think it's impossible. But there is one phrase I learned in that year: "Figure it out." You can go past this. You're able to do it. That is a resilience that you and I, brothers and sisters, need to learn — the strength that you and I need to learn.

The Story of Bilal ibn Rabah

The final story is Bilal ibn Rabah. You know Bilal ibn Rabah — Ahadun Ahad. We always remember this. You know the scream of Bilal ibn Rabah al-Habashi? He was not screaming because he wanted to give victory to Islam. Islam did not really need Bilal ibn Rabah, and Bilal ibn Rabah knew this. Matter of fact, Rasulullah ﷺ gave them permission — if they were forced to leave Islam during that time because of the torture, it was allowed for them. And Allah even revealed an ayah in the Quran because of the pain and suffering. But Bilal ibn Rabah never gave up, and he kept on saying:

Bilal ibn Rabah, before Islam, had emotional fragility. He thought he was born as a slave and had to live as a slave — there was no way out. But Islam came to Bilal ibn Rabah and told him: No. Islam gave him the emotional immunity. It said: you were born as a free man and you should always be a free man. That's why Bilal ibn Rabah was screaming Ahadun Ahad — "I can be a free man." That is what Islam and the deen does for you and I, brothers and sisters.

The Quranic Foundation

And to conclude — this is not to tell you that you should always hide your emotions. We cannot hide our emotions. Allah told us:

Allah knows that some people are going to struggle because of separation and divorce. Some people are going to struggle with their marriages. Some people are going to struggle with their children. Some people are going to struggle with losses. Allah knows that. And Allah is not telling you to hide your emotions. But Allah is saying: you can do it. You are strong. You are the creation of Allah.

If you're going through depression, if you're going through any difficulty — please get up and seek help. Seek help. Speak to a professional, speak to an expert, come to the masjid, make du'a to Allah. Rasulullah ﷺ said:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 46, Hadith 52)

"Seek support from Allah and do not be weak." A servant of Allah should not be weak and should not give up. A servant of Allah can say: figure it out. I will figure it out. I will help myself. I will come to the masjid. I will go to a therapist. I will talk to someone. But I will never, ever surrender and submit to my emotional fragility. I am going to focus on my emotional immunity instead.

There are so many things to be said about this, but I just wanted to show you two examples from the seerah of Rasulullah ﷺ and how he was able — without even studying psychology — to help his companions build resilience and strength within their nafs.

Du'a

We ask Allah to give relief and ease to anyone who is struggling with any kind of pain in this world, ya Rabb al-'Alameen. We ask Allah to give us sabr jameel. We ask Allah to give us the ability to immunize ourselves and our emotions, ya Rabb al-'Alameen. We ask Allah to protect us from any kind of emotional fragility. We ask Allah to allow us and help us to build resilience and strength within our emotions and ourselves. We ask Allah to allow us to always connect with Him and to come to the masjid and make du'a when we are struggling or suffering. We ask Allah to bless this community and to allow all of us to be with the Prophet ﷺ in Jannat al-Firdaus. Allahumma ameen. Wa aqim as-salah.