Lowering Your Gaze

Opening

All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him and seek His assistance. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil within ourselves and from the evil of our deeds.

Whomsoever Allah guides, none can misguide him. Yet whomever He allows to go astray, none can guide him. And I bear witness that there is no God worthy of worship except Allah alone. He has no partner. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and His messenger.

O you who believe, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except in the state of Islam.

O you who believe, fear Allah and speak the truth. He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive your sins. And whomsoever obeys Allah and His messenger, he has indeed achieved a great achievement.

And the best gift is the gift of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. And the worst of things are their innovations. And every innovation is a misguidance. And every misguidance is in the Fire.

The Reality of the Unrestrained Gaze

Your wife becomes more beautiful to you because you're also not comparing her to images that are photoshopped and airbrushed and doctored. And if you're single, then being single will not become a difficulty. One of the things that makes single people suffer is that they don't restrain their gaze. They're always looking, so then they're always in that state of difficulty.

One study conducted here in the United States showed that the average male will spend about 43 minutes a day looking at women. And that adds up to one year of their lifetime staring at women. And if that's the case, you have to explain to Allah on the Day of Judgment a full year of just staring at women. The same study showed that women spend about 20 minutes a day staring at men, and that amounts to six months out of their life staring at different men.

And we know that men are visually stimulated. So when they are always looking and they don't restrain their glance all day, then being single becomes difficult. Or as we said, the wife becomes less attractive. Then it can lead to dating, and it can lead to zina, and addiction to haram images. All of it starts with the glance, the gaze.

The Quranic Command to Lower the Gaze

And that's why in Surah An-Nur, in verse 30, Allah says:

Allah says: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is all aware of what they do."

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ — "Tell the believing men" — in verse 30, and the believing women in verse 31, the verse after.

The Linguistic Depth of يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ

يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ — الْغَضُّ هُوَ النُّقْصَانُ. You can say فُلَانٌ يَغُضُّ مِنْ قَدْرِ فُلَانٍ — al-Ghadd is to decrease, to take away from something. You can even use it if someone is taking away from the rank or the respect you have towards someone else, then he is يَغُضُّ — he is taking away from the respect. So الْغَضُّ is to decrease from something.

So Allah says قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ. And there is also a noon that is missing there — يَعْنِي الرَّجُلُ فُلَانٌ يَغُضُّ وَالْقَوْمُ يَغُضُّونَ — but that noon is taken out to show that the believers will instantly comply, they will instantly obey. إِنْ قُلْتَ لَهُمْ غُضُّوا يَغُضُّوا — if you tell them to restrain their glance, they will immediately restrain their glance.

Then it says مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ. It didn't say يَغُضُّوا أَبْصَارَهُمْ — because then they couldn't look at anything. But Allah said from their glance. So because of this مِنْ here, the scholars came to three different opinions.

Three Scholarly Opinions on the Meaning of مِنْ

The first group, which is the majority, said مِنْ shows التَّبْعِيضَ — that only a portion. The majority of what you look at is halal. From all the halal that you look at, just take the haram out of it only. So that's what the مِنْ indicates — from all your glance, just lower and take away only the haram. And that's why linguistically, if you tell someone كُلْ مِنْ هَذَا الطَّعَامِ — "eat from this food" — it doesn't mean finish it. It means eat from it. So it's the same thing: lower from your glance.

Another group said what is meant by مِنْ is the second glance. The first glance is halal. Someone does not know that there's a woman standing next to him, and he turns, he sees that it's a woman, he quickly turns away — this is not recorded against him.

As narrated by al-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud, the Prophet ﷺ tells Ali ibn Abi Talib:

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2777; Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 2149)

"O Ali, do not follow a glance with another glance. The first one is for you and the second one is not." Meaning: you didn't know there was a woman standing next to you, so you turned, it's a woman, you turn away — that's fine. You turn back — it's recorded against you. So only the first one is free.

And as a note to the brothers: the first glance is when you didn't know there was a woman coming. If you're facing the front and you hear a woman talking on her phone coming, you say, "I still have a free one" — no. You know there's a woman coming now. Or if you hear her high heels or anything that indicates there's a woman coming — خَلَاص — that counts as your first one.

The third group said that مِنْ here shows even the slightest amount. Because they said linguistically, if you say مَا عِنْدِي مَالٌ — "I don't have any money" — you can say that but have a few coins in your pocket. But if you add مِنْ: مَا عِنْدِي مِنْ مَالٍ — that means I have nothing. No coins, no dollars, nothing. So they're saying it's not just looking hard at a woman that is haram — any type of looking at a woman would be haram, according to this group of scholars.

The Prophetic Warning: Rights of the Street

And the Prophet ﷺ showed us the seriousness of this. In one hadith, the Prophet ﷺ said to the companions:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6229; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2121)

"Beware of sitting in the streets and people's pathways on the roads." They said, "O Messenger of Allah, we have no alternative but to sit in the streets to converse with one another." So the Prophet ﷺ said:

"If you insist and there's no other way, then give the street its rights." So they asked, "What are the rights of the street, O Messenger of Allah?" And he said:

"To lower your gaze; to not harm anyone — not verbally, not physically; to respond when someone gives salam; and to enjoin what is good and to forbid what is evil."

In another hadith, the Prophet ﷺ said: whoever guarantees me six things, I will guarantee them al-Jannah. And from amongst the six things, the Prophet ﷺ mentioned restraining your glance.

The Eyes Commit Zina

It's important for us to understand how dangerous this is — especially since we live in a world where we're constantly surrounded and bombarded by images. Even things that have nothing to do with images have images of women on them. And people have become so used to it that sometimes they're not aware of what they're doing.

The early Muslims understood this from the Prophet ﷺ, because he taught them. And this hadith is in Sahih Bukhari and in Muslim. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6243; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2657)

"The two eyes commit zina, and their zina is by looking."

In another hadith, the Prophet ﷺ gave us this warning:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2742)

"Beware of being enticed by the dunya — meaning seeking it too much — and beware of being lured by women. For the first strong test of Bani Israel was concerning women."

How the Early Muslims Understood This

The early Muslims took this to heart. Al-Rabi' ibn al-Khuthaym, may Allah have mercy on him, was famous for lowering his glance. And he was a handsome man, but he never ever looked at women and never looked up. And for years, the servant girls and the women thought he was a blind man — because he never once raised his glance to look at them.

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him, had a neighbor for nine years. And for nine years, his servant girl thought that he was blind. So he would come and knock on the door, and when she would open it, he's looking down at the ground — never ever looked at her. So she would come and tell Ibn Mas'ud, "Your blind friend is here." And he would laugh. He wasn't blind, but he never ever looked up to women.

And Ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him, himself — one day he went to visit Ibn Abbas. So he knocked on the door and the wife of Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, opened the door. So he tells her, "Is Ibn Abbas home?" She said, "No." He said, "When he comes back, tell him Ibn Mas'ud came to see you." And then he left. When Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, came back, his wife tells him, "Your blind friend Ibn Mas'ud came to visit you." So he laughed. He said, "Ibn Mas'ud is not blind."

وَلَكِنَّهُ يَتَّقِي اللَّهَ — "He is not blind, but he fears Allah."

And there were so many others from the righteous of the early Muslims. Hassan ibn Abi Sinan went to the Eid prayer. When he came back, his wife asked him: "How many beautiful women did you look at today, Ya Hassan?" And he told her: "Wallahi, my eyesight never left the place of my feet. I was looking down the entire time."

And that's why when they recited the Qur'an, they cried. That's why when they prayed, they felt it. Because they kept their hearts pure for Allah.

Do Not Come Near to Zina

Allah told us in the Qur'an — He didn't say "do not commit zina." He said:

"Do not come near to zina." And no zina can start without looking first. It's one of the first things. And that's why Allah in Surah An-Nur says:

And guard their private parts. The scholars say the mention of the private parts came right after the gaze, the eyesight, because it leads to it — and there is a link.

Practical Tips for Lowering the Gaze

Practically, people can look down as they're walking. Some people who wear glasses would even remove their glasses if their eyesight isn't too bad — so they're walking and they're just seeing general outlines of people but not able to look in an inappropriate way. Or some people will busy themselves with dhikr of Allah. And it's very hard to be making dhikr of Allah and looking at women at the same time.

And fasting. There's a famous hadith where the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5066; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1400)

He's speaking to the youth specifically: "O youth, whichever of you is able to provide al-ba'a — and by those standards it was just a few meals to sustain you and something over your head — so whoever can provide some meals and some kind of shelter, meaning some kind of apartment, then he should get married. Because it is best to restrain the glance, and more chaste for the private part. And whoever is not able to get married, then let him fast, for verily it is a protection for him."

Realistically, brothers and sisters — we've known this hadith our entire life. How many people who are single amongst us right now are fasting like crazy because they're single and they can't get married and they still have five or six years of education ahead of them? When we were in college, we knew people who fasted every other day for ten years straight. Every other day. Fifteen years straight. Every other day. Because it was a solution from the Prophet ﷺ, and they took it seriously.

You'll find a guy who does not restrain his gaze, does not fast, and then he comes to you and wants a solution. You just ignored the solution of the Prophet ﷺ and the solution of Allah, and you expect me to give you a better one? But these solutions work. If someone fasts and puts effort into restraining their glance, they will not have a problem being single. And they will not have a problem even if they're married.

Broader Applications of Lowering the Gaze

Some scholars said — and it's specifically in Surah An-Nur here — that lowering the gaze means: first, refrain from looking at people's private parts (awrah), or at the beauty of non-mahram women. Others said it's speaking about looking into people's homes — and it comes right after the verses of visiting people in their home, in the same surah.

And an excellent etiquette is to lower your glance in people's homes. Some people come into someone's home and they start scanning with their eyes — where this came from, the quality of this item, I've seen that before in that store for that much. They're just scanning everything. But from the etiquette, when you enter someone's home, you're supposed to lower your glance from staring around and looking everywhere.

When someone opens their wallet — notice this, brothers — if you're standing in a circle and someone opens the wallet, everyone looks inside the wallet. If someone opens the trunk of their car, everybody looks to see what they have in the trunk. Someone opens a bag, everyone stands on tiptoes just to see what's inside the bag. It's part of the etiquette of the believers to not have their unrestrained gaze looking at everything. And it's from the good manners of the believers as well.

Allah Knows the Treachery of the Eyes

So Allah then mentions restraining from your glance, and then mentions guarding the private part. Then He says:

"That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is well aware of what they do."

And this ending is so appropriate for a verse talking about restraining the glance. Because you can look around and no one will know. You can stare at women without moving your head, without turning, without moving a muscle — just quickly — and the eyes are fast. And you can be standing next to your wife and looking at women and she wouldn't know. So the verse so appropriately ends by saying Allah is well aware of what you do. Maybe no one else will know, but Allah will know.

And it's similar to another verse in the Qur'an where Allah says:

"Allah knows the treachery of the eyes and what the hearts conceal."

Ibn Abbas, the scholar, the companion, the mufassir, may Allah be pleased with him, was asked what this verse means. And look at how this scholar described this verse. He simplified it and explained it in the form of a scenario. He said: it's a man sitting with other men. A woman passes and he shows them that he has also lowered his glance. So they're sitting and talking on the road, then a woman passes by and all of them look down. And then while they're not aware, he quickly looks at her — doesn't have to move his neck, just quickly with his eyes, he looks at her. And Allah knows that in his heart, he would even wish to see her privates. But Allah knows.

And it's so appropriate that this verse ends with Allah being aware. Because you can walk around people and they think you have the taqwa, and you can look left and right. Well, اللَّهُ مُسْتَعَان if you have sunglasses on — it's Eid then. But Allah will know everything and He will be aware.

Ask Allah for His forgiveness. Indeed, those who ask for His forgiveness shall prosper.

Second Part: Practical Application

So then, how can we practically apply lowering the gaze, especially today? Some people might say: I work in corporate America, I have a female boss, female co-workers.

So the scholars say: one group of scholars said the real problematic looking is when there is shahwah involved — when there is desire involved — or the man is looking at the woman's beauty carefully. Not casual looking. Meaning, what if you have a job interview? If you have a job interview and you lower your gaze and the woman is interviewing you, what will she think? She'll think you're lying — that's why you're avoiding eye contact. And part of the interview is strong eye contact. So do you lower your gaze and not get the opportunity?

The scholars said: this is a situation where you're not even concerned with the woman, you're not being stimulated or aroused, you're nervous and you want to do the interview properly. In a situation like this, you can look at the person interviewing you. You can look at your professor — you don't have to lower your glance from her the whole semester. If a waitress is taking an order, you can look at her and give her the order.

But — anytime, no matter whom you are looking at — anytime desire creeps in, or suddenly you're not just casually looking at the individual, now you're looking at their beauty or looking at specific parts — anytime that happens, then you have to lower your glance immediately.

And we said, Allah is well aware. So it's not saying feel free to look wherever you want, and that's the default, and then if something happens, look away. No. The default is to try not to look. In a situation where I have to look, I'll look. But the default is I restrain my glance. And only in a situation where I have to, then I will look. And if I notice something, then I turn away.

And this rule applies to anything. The scholars even mentioned — and people are different — but the scholars even mentioned: even if it's a doll, a mannequin, a boy, a young youth, and it causes something to stir in the man's heart, then he should look away immediately. And they justified it by saying: لِأَنَّهُ وُجِدَتْ أُمَّةٌ وَقَعَتْ فِي الْفَحْشِ مَعَ الذُّكْرَانِ — because it has happened where an ummah fell into haram with males. And this ummah also — and today it's happening as well. So we're not alien to this idea. So even in that case, whatever it is that stirs emotion in the man, he is supposed to look away from it.

The Ruling for Women — Verse 31

Now, in the next verse, Allah in verse 31 says:

Now it's specifically speaking to the women: "And tell the believing women to lower from their glance as well." And women are not as visually stimulated as men. In America, men every year spend billions of dollars just to look at women, while women virtually spend nothing to look at men. But we still have guidelines here.

We see that it is quite relaxed for the women. Some scholars said it is permissible for women to look at non-mahram men without desire. Because it was recorded in the sahih that the Prophet ﷺ, when the Abyssinians came to the masjid and they were going to have some kind of display, the Prophet ﷺ allowed Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, to view it. And they were men. And then he kept asking her: "Are you done? Are you done? Are you done?" Until she got bored and went away — he allowed her to look. So that's one side of the argument.

Now on the other side — one time the Prophet ﷺ was going to be visited by the famous companion Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum, may Allah be pleased with him. He was the blind companion. So Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum is coming to visit the Prophet ﷺ in his home. So the Prophet ﷺ tells his wives: احْتَجِبْنَ مِنْهُ — go away, to another room or behind some kind of curtain, some kind of veil. So they said, "O Messenger of Allah, he is blind. Why should we go somewhere else? He can't see us." The Prophet ﷺ said, "Are you too blind?"

So when we put these two evidences together, we see that it is not as strict for women. As long as there is no desire, they can look at men. But in general, it's best to also restrain their glance. And if desire creeps into anything, then they would immediately restrain their glance.

Closing Du'a

And rise to your prayer — may Allah have mercy on you.