My Lord, I always stand in need of You

My Lord, I Always Stand in Need of You

This Friday of yours today is one of the most decisive Fridays for you. It's very important and extremely important. Because Allah promises in the month of Ramadan it to be a month of blessings, a month of khairat, and you had about 20 plus days in which you have an opportunity to collect as much as you can — through your ibadah, through your fasting, through your tahajjud and ibadah and salah and dhikr and Qur'an. You have so many opportunities to ask Allah for redemption in this month of Ramadan.

And now that we're realizing we're closer to the end of the month of Ramadan, we start wondering and stop in that moment and say: Did I get it? Did I collect what I was hoping to collect in the month of Ramadan? Did I earn it? Has Allah forgiven me at the end of the month of Ramadan? That is a decisive question. It's a question that I don't want to wait until the last day of Ramadan to say: What have I done?

This Friday is the one that gives you from now until the end of Ramadan an opportunity to gain as much as you can and redeem yourself before it is too late. Even if you haven't done as much as you would have wanted in the first 20 days of Ramadan, in the last nine days of Ramadan, insha'Allah, we would like to do our best.

Showing Our Need of Allah

How can I do this? One thing I want you to focus on — I want myself to focus on — in the last nine days of the month of Ramadan, insha'Allah, is showing our need of Allah. Nothing will benefit you better in terms of reaching your goal to Allah more than always standing in need of Allah. Allah is your Lord. He's your Creator. He's your Master and you're His servant and His creation. And you will always stand in need of Him, and He will never be in need of you. As Allah, tabarak wa ta'ala, said:

O mankind, O people — you will always stand in need of Allah, and Allah is free of all needs, for He is Self-Sufficient, the Praiseworthy. And for that, we praise Him and we know and acknowledge our position when it comes to being with Allah.

The Example of the Prophets

The anbiya show us the best example. Rasulullah ﷺ, even though he was granted forgiveness — he was granted forgiveness completely — in return he showed his brokenness to Allah in every aspect of his ibadah. We see the Prophet ﷺ crying in his sujood, and we see the Prophet ﷺ standing up at night until his feet are swollen. Even his wife, she asked him:

"O Messenger of Allah, why do you exhaust yourself when Allah has already forgiven all your sins?" (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 4837; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2820)

He said:

"Shall I not then be a grateful servant?" (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 4837; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2820)

Isn't that what it means — that I should show that I'm worthy of it? I need to be grateful. I need to be grateful to show Allah I'm worthy of this forgiveness. And that is our moment right now. Even if Allah has forgiven you, even if you had that peace in your heart that "I've done a great job in the first 20 days of Ramadan" — this is the time when you show your brokenness, that you're worthy of His forgiveness.

The Example of Musa (alayhi salam)

Musa (alayhi salam) — when he was traveling and running away, so scared, alone and lonely — he ended up under the shade of that tree in Madyan, far away from home. He looks around, he has nothing. He's very vulnerable. And that is the feeling that we all feel in this dunya sometimes. You know, you'd be sitting in this Masjid, surrounded by all these people, but you have that sense of loneliness. Why? Because you're not connected with the One and Only. That sense of loneliness can be devastating. It's not a feeling you'd be happy with. But when you know that Allah is with you, you realize you are Al-Ghani — you become rich all of a sudden.

And that is what Musa (alayhi salam) had. When he went back under the shade of that tree, he said to Allah:

"My Lord, I always stand in need of You. I always need You. For whatever good You can bestow upon me, I am in need of it, my Lord." Never show arrogance. Never bring your pride to stand between you and Allah, to admit your need to Him.

What Does It Mean to Show Brokenness to Allah?

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) in his book Madarij al-Salikin explained this beautifully. He said: It means that you realize you own absolutely nothing about yourself. You own nothing of yourself. That's what it means. He says, if you come to this realization — "I own absolutely nothing about myself" — you get to that moment of brokenness and that moment of need of Allah.

He elaborates: Your nafs owns absolutely nothing about you. Only then, when you realize that you are completely owned by Allah, do you reach that state. And he says: If you own anything of your affairs, then you have become self-sufficient in that area, and in this case you might think that you don't need Allah for it.

Like — if you're proud of your job, if you're proud of your financial accomplishment, if you're proud of what you've done, your body, your physique — if you think that this is so great, "I've done a great job," if you think that you have it, then you might never think that you need Allah to maintain that for you. You might not make du'a to ask Allah to keep you prosperous or keep you healthy, because you're in control of that thing. You're the one who wakes up in the morning to run, and go to the gym, and do this and do that — and you probably would never ask Allah to protect you.

So he says: No matter what your affairs are, you have to admit that you don't even own that. It's by the grace of Allah that you got it. When you come to this realization, you realize — no matter how good your life is, you're still in need of Allah. That moment of brokenness is what elevates you in status with Allah.

And Rasulullah ﷺ said:

"Whoever humbles himself before Allah, Allah will raise him." (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2588)

The one who humbles himself, who humbles herself, to Allah — when you put yourself down to the earth — Allah will elevate you in status, in the dunya and in the akhira. In the dunya, that means you are in need of nobody, and that sense of self-independence from the needs of human beings — it's so great in this dunya. When you realize, "I don't have any dependence on anybody" — whether emotional dependence, financial dependence, whatever kind of dependence you have on people — when you don't have that, you realize you're rich. You're self-sustained, alhamdulillah. But where is this all coming from? It comes from realizing that your true dependence is on the One and Only Allah. And this can only happen if you show your poverty, your need, and your brokenness to Allah — only to Allah. Nobody else.

If you can reach that level, then alhamdulillah, the khairat will come in abundance. And Ramadan is still here — we still have a few more days, insha'Allah.

Our Ibadah as an Exercise in Brokenness

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) explains that this is why our ibadah is all about that. When you fast — why are you fasting? You abstain from food, from drinks, and from all these desires. Why? Because you want to show your brokenness and need to Allah. Even though I have the food, I know that at some point I might not even have it. And alhamdulillah, that reminds me that I expect at the end of the day to sustain my body and be revived after a long day of fasting — I'm still in need of Allah to keep this coming for me. Otherwise, I might end up in a situation that would be troubling, like many other people are going through.

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) says that this is why our ibadah, such as ruku and sujood, is actually an exercise of this brokenness and poverty to Allah. When you put your head down in the bowing, the ruku position, and you say:

"I praise my Lord, Al-'Adheem, the Great" — it is to admit your weakness. And when you go down to the sajdah, the lowest physical point in your salah — and even in your life — when you put your forehead down on the ground, what is that? You are humbling yourself to Allah, showing your need of Him. And that is the very moment when you make your best du'a and your best request from Allah.

Our ibadah is all an exercise of that — a constant reminder to you and I that we need to show our need of Allah in all our affairs.

Two Things to Realize

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) explains that in order for you to understand this, you have to realize two things:

Number one: The greatness of Allah. And number two: You, as a human being — your real weakness. No matter how powerful you think you are, you cannot be deceived by that. Just the fact that alhamdulillah, rabbil 'alamin, you've earned status in this dunya, in terms of position — whatever you have — don't ever be deceived by that. Once you feel that you have accomplished something so great and you forget that this is all coming from Allah, and you forget that all of this depends on Allah's pleasure — that may be a test for you as well. If you forget that, then you're in trouble. But if you keep admitting it — that it's all from Allah, no matter how good you are, how amazing your life is — that sense of inner brokenness and feeling of need of Allah is what Allah wants to see from you.

Allah doesn't want you to give up your jobs and wealth and money — no, no, no, that's not what it is. Being poor doesn't mean you go and rip your clothes off and show that you have nothing. That's not what poverty means. The true poverty before Allah is in the heart. No matter how rich, how wealthy, how strong you are, you always admit: "My Lord, it doesn't matter who I am — what matters is who You are. And You are my Lord, and I am always in need of You, in need of Your mercy."

And this is the time that we need to show this brokenness and need of Allah towards the end of the month of Ramadan.

The Journey of the Heart

My dear brothers and sisters, as Ramadan comes closer to an end, slowly and gradually, once again we realize — oh my God, it's going too fast. It's going too fast. And I'm really not sure if I've done what I wanted to do, if I have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish.

I want you to focus on this: at the end of the day, what matters is the affairs of the heart. Our journey to Allah is not with our feet. Our journey to Allah is with our hearts. And as long as our hearts are soaring on that journey and flying to Allah with grace, then you're doing great. Focus on the heart in the next few days of the month of Ramadan.

I say this and ask Allah's forgiveness for me and for you, and for the Muslims — I ask His forgiveness. Indeed, He is the Forgiving, the Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and companions.

How to Reach That Level of Brokenness and Need

How can I get there? How can I reach that level of showing my weakness, my poverty, and my need of Allah? Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) explains again:

1. Extreme Humbleness with Love

He says: You show an extreme level of humbleness to Allah — with love. So yes, you're humbling yourself. Why? Because you want to do that. It's not like you feel that you've been broken forcefully. Because if you think that Allah wants to break you forcefully, then there's a sense of pride and arrogance in there. But I want to do it because I love to do it for Allah. I do it as my servitude to Him, my 'ubudiyyah — being His servant. This is the first thing you should focus on. Work on humbling yourself to Allah. How does this happen? When you hear the command in the Qur'an, you submit to it. You know that Allah commanded you to do this and to abstain from that. I admit that when Allah says to make du'a, I make du'a — no matter if my needs are all being maintained. Still I make du'a to Allah. I always show my humbleness and humility to Allah.

2. Attach Your Heart to What Allah Loves

He says: Attach your heart to Allah and to whatever Allah loves. What does Allah will for me? What does Allah command for me? I attach my heart to where Allah wants me to be. He wants me to be in ibadah — I attach my heart to the ibadah, to the masajid, to good deeds. I attach my heart to this instead of focusing on the matters of the dunya.

3. Constant Remembrance of Allah

Obviously, to be conscious of that, you need to always be conscious of Him. And Allah promised you that if you do that, He will give you peace. As He said:

Those whose hearts find peace and tranquility through the remembrance of Allah — because indeed, through the remembrance of Allah the heart will find peace and tranquility. You're looking for that peace in the month of Ramadan? That's what you do. Constant dhikr, with humbleness and humility, and attach your heart to what Allah loves. It gets you there, closer to Allah.

4. Fear That Your Deeds May Not Be Accepted

And finally — when you do your good deeds, one thing that you need to worry about is: Was my deed accepted or not? Not to be desperate, though — be careful. You trust Allah to be just. And if you've done the right thing with the right intentions, you trust that Allah will accept your good deeds, because Allah is most Just. But still, my heart is always trembling. Always shaken. I hope that Allah accepts that from me.

Allah describes in the Qur'an those who give what they give and their hearts are still afraid — afraid that Allah will not accept it from them. Someone asked: Are those the people who steal and hurt others and so on? He said: No, no, no. That's not who they are. The Prophet ﷺ explains: Those are the people who fast, who pray, who give charity — however, they are so afraid that it will not be accepted from them.

Remember this. Remember this in the last nine days of Ramadan. You're doing a great job — just worry about whether it will be accepted or otherwise. And that could probably bring you to that moment of humbleness and humility, insha'Allah.