Ramadan and Social Life

Ramadan and Social Life

In the last few days — maybe the last day of the month of Ramadan — a lot of people, they celebrate. Celebrate, subhanAllah, with tears. And for many, these are joys, not really because we're celebrating the end of the month of Ramadan.

It's celebrating success for themselves. That I just came to this level in the month of Ramadan, I feel joy. I feel happiness, but it's mixed right now with sadness that Ramadan is coming to an end.

Why do people feel so joyful during the month of Ramadan? And why do they start crying towards the end of the month of Ramadan? There's a forgotten ibadah, a forgotten ibadah in the month of Ramadan. We don't really pay attention to it very much. Why? Because in Ramadan, each and every one of us is busy, is busy trying to focus on themselves.

I'm busy to raise my iman, because I know I was in trouble throughout the whole year. I want to increase my iman. I'm busy, I want to finish my Qur'an. I'm halfway through, maybe a little behind, one or two juz'. So everyone is busy trying to focus on themselves for the month of Ramadan. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Because that is the opportunity right now to have this very special, unique connection between you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. But there's another forgotten ibadah we don't pay attention to. That is the essence of it.

This is why a lot of people feel joy in Ramadan. And when Ramadan comes to an end, they actually start crying about this. And that ibadah is Ramadan and social life — the family bonding and the community bonding.

Ramadan Is Not Just an Individual Task

Ramadan is not just an individual task. Even though our Prophet ﷺ mentioned, in the hadith of Ibn Umar radiyallahu 'anhu, reported in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 8; Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 21)

"Your Islam is established on five pillars." Like to make your Islam sound, you have to maintain these five pillars. He says one of them:

"And you fast the month of Ramadan." So it's your individual duty to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that you fast in the month of Ramadan. But that in itself is not the only thing about fasting the month of Ramadan. With fasting the month of Ramadan, a lot of blessings come to the whole community. And if you only focus on yourself in Ramadan, you will miss the point.

So one of those forgotten ibadah that I want myself and all of us here to focus on, is the social part of Ramadan. Focusing on strengthening the bonds of the family and the bonds of the community. This year in particular.

Why is that? Probably this is going to be our first Ramadan, inshallah wa tabaraka wa ta'ala, removing most of the restrictions since COVID hit the community. Last year, alhamdulillah, we had Ramadan prayers. We did. It was beautiful, alhamdulillah rabbil 'alamin. But we still had some restrictions. This year we're going to remove most of these restrictions, which means hopefully we come back to the norm that we used to enjoy during the month of Ramadan. So therefore there'll be a lot of people coming to the community, and obviously we have newcomers — maybe spending Ramadan for the first time here.

And it's extremely important for my dear brothers and sisters who come to the masjid during the month of Ramadan that they focus on this particular ibadah — the social aspect of the month of Ramadan.

The Believers Are Like One Body

When you meet other people, what's the point of that? I want to share with you some of these ibadah that we practice in Ramadan where the focus is not just you — it's everybody else who is around you. The hadith of al-Nu'man ibn Bashir radiyallahu ta'ala 'anhu, reported in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ says:

"The example of the believers in their mutual love, kindness, and compassion is just like one single body. If one part of the body aches, the entire body starts feeling the pain — feeling it with sleeplessness and fever."

So as an Ummah, that's the same thing too. We want to make sure that we are bonding together as one community, inshallah ta'ala, as one family.

Beginning and Ending Ramadan Together

You know, the first thing we have in our minds when it comes to that sense of community and unity is all about beginning Ramadan together. Everybody is anxious. Every single year we are so anxious — are we going to be fasting together? Are we going to be fasting together? The trouble is only in the first day, that's all. The rest of it, everybody fasts together. But that single day at the beginning, or the last one at the end, can cause so much damage — emotional damage to people. Why? Because why couldn't we fast together as one community?

Regardless of the fiqh opinion of fasting together or not, at least that feeling that we have — that sense of belonging to one community — in itself is an act of worship. Keep it alive. The desire for us as one community to start Ramadan together and end it together — that in itself is an act of worship. Keep it alive.

Making sure that I would love and wish for my community to bond together from the beginning to the end — that in itself is an act of worship. Because we are part of an Ummah. As Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala commands us to stay as one single Ummah. Again, the difference of opinion that might lead to different times to begin Ramadan is irrelevant here. You fast with your community. But at least still in my heart, I would desire and love for the community to always stay together and be together in these ibadah.

Generosity in Ramadan

My dear brothers and sisters, when it comes to the month of Ramadan, there are so many ibadah that show us it's all about focusing on others, not just you. Ramadan is about the others, really. For example, one of the most common things that happens in Ramadan is what? The level of generosity increases — all of a sudden.

The Prophet ﷺ — it was reported about him ﷺ, in the hadith of Ibn Abbas radiyallahu ta'ala 'anhu:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6; Sahih Muslim, Book 43, Hadith 2308)

"The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was the most generous of people, and he was even more generous — the most generous — during the month of Ramadan, when Jibreel would come to study the Qur'an with him."

And when we say generosity, who is the recipient of that generosity? Other people. Those around you. They don't have to be poor. They could be your neighbors, your family, your own children, your own family at home. You being generous with them in the month of Ramadan — that sense of generosity is all about really bringing the community together.

What do we get when we start becoming more generous? When we become more generous, we open doors of goodness and khair and smiles and joy and love for one another. Our doors suddenly become open for invitations. More people come in. Alhamdulillah rabbil 'alamin. Our kids see guests coming in and they bond with new family, new members, new friends. The masjid, the community, starts seeing each other, inviting one another — "Hey, I'll invite you for iftar." "Can you come with us for suhoor? We're going to eat outside together."

All that sense of generosity brings the community together. That is an act of worship. That's an ibadah that we like to work on in Ramadan, inshallah wa tabaraka wa ta'ala. It's not about just feeding people. It's about creating a bond of brotherhood and sisterhood in that community. That is the true spirit of the month of Ramadan.

Zakah: Our Social Responsibility

Part of our also caring about others as one of our social responsibilities in society — specifically in Ramadan — is when you give your zakah. How many people in the month of Ramadan are so worried about their zakah? And they come and ask, "Can you help me calculate my zakah? Do I need to pay on this?" SubhanAllah, everybody is worried about their zakah. And then they worry even more — "Am I allowed to give it to this person? Can I give to this person?"

We care that our money reaches the right recipient. We would like to make sure that everybody who deserves that money gets it in their hand, inshallah wa ta'ala. Why? Because I want to revive that spirit of community and Ummah — that I want the poor to know that we care. I want those who are less fortunate to know that we didn't forget about them. And I want to feel that I can do something. I want to feel that I belong to a community and I'm a member of that community. That is an act of ibadah.

We don't think of it very much in the month of Ramadan in that way. We only worry about the calculation of zakah and just give it away — that's all. But that in itself is an act of ibadah. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala commands the Prophet ﷺ about zakah:

"Take from their wealth a charity by which you purify them and cause them to increase, and invoke blessings upon them. Indeed, your blessings are reassurance for them."

So when we give our zakah, we hope it gives that sense of satisfaction — emotional satisfaction — that I've done my part. Alhamdulillah, I helped my community, I helped my neighbor, I helped my friends. That is an act of ibadah in itself. To have that sense of satisfaction for doing the right thing in the month of Ramadan regarding my money — that in itself is a great act of ibadah.

Coming to the Masjid More Frequently

My dear brothers and sisters, some of the ibadah that we do in the month of Ramadan are very obvious and clear — salah more frequently. All of a sudden we start coming more frequently to the masjid, alhamdulillah rabbil 'alamin. And when you come to the masjid, that means you're going to meet more people and different people — getting to know other community members, other families, subhanAllah. That in itself is helping, inshallah, to strengthen the bonds.

How many people came during the month of Ramadan, enjoyed it so much, that they decided to come after the month of Ramadan? That's a great success. If someone can come in the month of Ramadan and realize, "You know what, subhanAllah, I don't want to miss this after Ramadan" — those beautiful feelings of coming to the masjid and being part of a community and meeting friends and family — "I don't want to miss that." So we start coming more and more and strengthening the bonds of our community and our families, inshallah.

Becoming More Tolerant During Ramadan

During the month of Ramadan, my dear brothers and sisters, we start becoming more tolerant. More tolerant to what? Tolerant to mistakes and errors and faults, and when people wrong us sometimes — just skip it, because I'm fasting. That's what the Prophet ﷺ taught us in the hadith. When he said ﷺ:

"If it was a day when you're fasting, watch your mouth — don't say bad words, don't curse anybody. If someone provokes you" — and those people are all around us, they come out of nowhere, subhanAllah, they provoke you and they make you upset and angry — the Prophet ﷺ says you're rightfully angry, obviously. He says, if someone kind of provokes you to go that route, don't do this. He says: "Let that person know that I am fasting." Like — look, I can retaliate, but honestly, I'd rather not do it.

That doesn't mean to wait until after Ramadan, ya jama'ah. But still, that means I should be more tolerant. And that spirit of Ramadan itself helps, alhamdulillah, by reducing tension in the community. As a matter of fact, statistically speaking, in Muslim countries — I don't know about here — but in Muslim countries, subhanAllah, they say usually in Ramadan the rate of crimes drops very significantly. Why? Because even those who are not on the path of guidance have some standards in Ramadan. Ya jama'ah — "This is Ramadan. I'm not going to do this in Ramadan." SubhanAllah. It gives people hope and opens doors for others.

And this month of Ramadan helps us as well, alhamdulillah rabbil 'alamin, to be more conscious of our responsibility towards Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala — which means I'm going to be more conscious when it comes to looking at other people, or envying other people, or even having some grudge towards somebody. I don't want to do this in Ramadan. And if you build that as a new habit in Ramadan and you carry it along after the month of Ramadan, that helps strengthen the bonds in the family and in the community. A forgotten ibadah that we don't pay attention to.

Husn al-Khuluq: Good Manners

My dear brothers and sisters, one of those great things in the month of Ramadan — and one of the last things — is husn al-khuluq, good manners. And once again, the month of Ramadan is when people pay attention to their private life as well, because your public life is sometimes a reflection of your own personal private life. So if in your private life you have standards towards yourself, Ramadan helps people curb their desires and their needs, and sometimes their desire to go the wrong way. Hopefully inshallah, that makes it even stronger for them in terms of keeping away from that with other people.

And after the month of Ramadan, those good manners — the standards of manners that you have for yourself, because now you have a good relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala — I hope that will help inshallah improve your relationship with the people around you.

Don't Forget Your Social Ibadah

My dear brothers and sisters, once again, Ramadan is an opportunity for khairat and ibadah. You have the individual ibadah all along — read the Qur'an many times, make your adhkar with tasbih, sit after fajr and stay until the sunrise, pray more often, do whatever you want to do of all these individual ibadah. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept from all of you.

But don't forget about your social responsibility towards your community and your family in the month of Ramadan. That is a forgotten ibadah. Make sure that you take care of it this Ramadan, inshallah wa ta'ala.

Salat al-Tarawih and Breaking the Ice

My dear brothers and sisters, in regard to salat al-tarawih in particular — one of the beautiful things about salat al-tarawih is giving the people the opportunity to break the ice and the barriers between them and other people. When every day you come here and you stand shoulder to shoulder with people you haven't met before. First time. And you see them every now and then, and the first time maybe there's an awkward glance at each other. We know that. You don't know if you should shake hands or not, smile or not, do they recognize you or not. Those awkward moments — we all go through it. But then by the fifth day, sixth day, seventh day, you laugh at each other because you know what you're going through, what you're thinking about. We broke the ice already.

Coming every single night for the tarawih and meeting these people, alhamdulillah, can strengthen these bonds. Adding to that salat al-fajr as well can help with that. So I want you to make inshallah an effort — and when you come for tarawih and you come to salat al-fajr, it's not just about praying eight or twenty and leave. Make part of your ibadah inshallah to get to know more people and strengthen the community together.