Reconcilement

Opening — Khutbah al-Hajah

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ

أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنَّ أَصْدَقَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَابُ اللَّهِ وَأَحْسَنَ الْهَدْيِ هَدْيُ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَشَرَّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ وَكُلَّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ وَكُلَّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ

Introduction: As-Sulh — Reconcilement

Brothers and sisters in Islam, our khutbah today is about as-sulh, which is reconcilement — which is to bring agreement, peace, harmony, and amicability between people. And we'll go back as far as the first battle in Islam, the Battle of Badr. After the Battle of Badr, the companions asked the Prophet ﷺ about the distribution of the spoils of the battle.

The Verse of the Spoils — Surah Al-Anfal

So Allah revealed:

In this verse, Allah reveals that they ask you about the spoils of war. Say: the spoils are for Allah and His Messenger. So fear Allah, وَأَصْلِحُوا ذَاتَ بَيْنِكُمْ — and reconcile and amend that which is between you. And obey Allah and His Messenger, if you are true believers.

So the question is: why does Allah mention sulh here? He does not go into the distribution of the spoils, but He reminds them first to fear Allah, to rectify and reconcile between one another. Because what causes more discord than anything? For the most part, it is wealth.

It is why people don't talk to each other after the distribution of inheritance is perceived to be unfair. It is why business partners have a falling out. It is why divorce gets ugly — because people fight over the wealth.

So Allah begins with: fear Allah, reconcile and amend that which is between you. And so when does the answer come about the distribution of the spoils? In verse 2, Allah describes the believers — those are the ones that when Allah is mentioned, their hearts are fearful, and when His verses are recited upon them, it increases them in iman. In verse 3, He talks about establishing the prayer and spending in charity. Verse 4 describes those that were just mentioned — they are the true believers, they have a high rank with Allah, and for them is forgiveness.

Then from verses 5 to 14, it starts to describe the battle — when they headed out to the Battle of Badr — and some of the details of the battle. And then from verse 15 onwards, it continues through different topics, one until another, until verse 41. When finally Allah answers the main question:

So know what you have gained of spoils — indeed, to Allah and His Messenger and those who are close relatives of His, and orphans, is one-fifth. So only then does Allah mention the distribution of the spoils. But He began with things that are more important. He began with qualities that, if they possess them, they will not have a dispute and they will not quarrel over the wealth.

The Hadith: Reconciliation Is Greater Than Prayer, Fasting, and Charity

From the hadith, we have an authentic hadith narrated by Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi. The Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 4919; Jami' at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 2509 — authenticated)

The Prophet ﷺ said: "Should I not inform you of that which is greater in place and in rank than the rank of Salah and Siyam — fasting and prayer — and Sadaqah — charity?" They said, "Yes, O Messenger of Allah." He said: "Reconciling between people."

The hadith then continues by mentioning the opposite. The Prophet ﷺ said: "And indeed, causing alienation, estrangement, creating problems between people — it is al-Haliqah." Al-Haliqah is something that will cut, clip, or shear. But then the Prophet ﷺ says: "I do not say that it cuts the hair, but it cuts the religion." The visual is that when someone cuts their hair with an instrument, their hair falls off and they have nothing left. So the Prophet ﷺ is saying: I'm not saying that it cuts the hair, but it cuts the religion in the same way. It destroys the deen.

Iblis and the Most Beloved Sin to Him

And because it destroys the deen, because it destroys one's religion, for that reason it is one of the most beloved things to Iblis. In this hadith narrated in Musnad Imam Ahmad, Sahih Muslim, and Al-Bayhaqi, the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2813; Musnad Imam Ahmad)

"Indeed, Iblis sets up his throne over the water." And why does he set up his throne over the water? Because Allah describes in the Qur'an: وَكَانَ عَرْشُهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ — "And His throne was above the water." So to imitate Allah, and out of disrespect, Iblis puts his throne over the water as well.

Then he sends forward his armies — the shayateen — to create problems in the earth. The one who will sit closest to Iblis is the one who creates the biggest problem, the greatest discord, or causes the greatest sin. One of them will come and say, "I did this and that." And Iblis will say to him, "You haven't done anything." And another one will come and say, "I did not leave this person until I separated between him and his wife" — either a separation or a divorce. So Iblis then brings him near to him and says, "You are the one." You are the one who will be close to me. You are the one who did the best job. You are the one who wins today.

So it is the most beloved thing to Iblis.

The Danger of Not Speaking to Your Brother or Sister

From the effects of not talking to your brother or your sister is a very dangerous effect — and that is not receiving forgiveness from Allah. In this well-known hadith in Sahih Muslim, the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2565)

"The gates of the heavens are opened on Mondays and Thursdays. And Allah forgives every servant who does not associate anything in worship with Him" — everyone is forgiven, as long as they don't associate something in worship with Allah, every Monday and Thursday — "except for a man between whom and his brother there is shahn" — and this of course applies to a woman and her sister — meaning there is some kind of issue, quarrel, or dispute, and they are not talking to each other. So Allah says: "Delay these two until they reconcile."

Brothers and sisters in Islam, we are also bringing up this topic because Ramadan is approaching. Do not go into the month while there is an issue between you and someone else.

بَارَكَ اللَّهُ لِي وَلَكُمْ فِي الْقُرْآنِ الْعَظِيمِ وَنَفَعَنِي وَإِيَّاكُمْ بِمَا فِيهِ مِنَ الْآيَاتِ وَالذِّكْرِ الْحَكِيمِ أَقُولُ مَا تَسْمَعُونَ وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Second Khutbah

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ عَلَى إِنْعَامِهِ وَالشُّكْرُ لَهُ عَلَى تَوْفِيقِهِ وَامْتِنَانِهِ وَلَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ تَعْظِيمًا لِشَأْنِهِ وَصَلَّى اللَّهُ وَسَلَّمَ وَبَارَكَ عَلَى خَيْرِ خَلْقِهِ مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحَابَتِهِ وَإِخْوَانِهِ أَمَّا بَعْدُ

We want to mention three guidelines when it comes to reconciling between people.

First: Bending the Truth Is Permitted for the Sake of Reconciliation

The first is that this is one of the few instances when lying is allowed, because the benefit is so great that lying in order to reconcile between two people has become permissible. In Sahih al-Bukhari — and there is also a similar narration in Sahih Muslim — this is narrated by Umm Kulthum bint 'Uqbah ibn Abi Mu'ayt. She says: I heard the Prophet ﷺ say:

"He is not a liar who reconciles and makes peace between people, conveying good or saying that which is good." As the scholars explained: if you know of two people who have had some kind of quarrel or dispute and they're not talking to each other, you can go to one of them and say — even if it is not entirely true — "The other person, I spoke to him and he feels very regretful for what he did to you, and he actually asked me to come so that you can make peace between the two of you," and so on and so forth. This kind of lie is not considered a lie. So the first thing is that you can bend the truth in order to make peace between people, because of the great virtue of making peace between people.

Second: Al-Mubadara — Taking the Initiative

The second thing is al-mubadara — taking the initiative. Sahl ibn Sa'd, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates that the people of Quba — the city near Medina — fought and quarreled to the point that they started throwing rocks at each other, so it escalated. The Prophet ﷺ was told about it, and he said:

"Let's go to them and reconcile between them." The scholars noted: look at this example — the Prophet ﷺ did not wait for them to come and request arbitration or ask for him to intervene. He took the initiative and said, "Let's go to them and let's reconcile between them."

Similarly, in the Qur'an, in Surah An-Nisa, Allah says regarding spouses:

"And if you fear dissension between them, then send an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family." But the scholars commented on this ayah: the ayah says وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا — "if you fear that there is dissension between them." So they are saying they didn't yet divorce, they didn't yet separate, she didn't go back to her father's house — but they just feared it would happen. So you take the initiative and you send an arbiter from his family and one from her family.

Third: Choose the Right Words

And the third thing is to choose the right words. And we'll look at a whimsical story that happened to the great scholar Sulayman al-A'mash. He was one of the great scholars from the Tabi'een. He had a disagreement with his wife in his old age, so he brought someone to reconcile between them. The person started to speak to the wife of al-A'mash and said:

"It seems that you don't know the place of Abu Muhammad. You don't know who Abu Muhammad is. He is our teacher, he is our leader, he is our mentor, he is a scholar of this entire region. Don't be dissuaded by كِبَرُ سِنِّهِ وَصَلَعَةُ رَأْسِهِ وَدِقَّةُ سَاقَيْهِ وَضَعْفُ رُكْبَتَيْهِ وَعَمَشُ عَيْنَيْهِ وَنَتَنُ إِبْطَيْهِ وَبَخَرُ فِيهِ" — meaning: don't be dissuaded by his old age and his bald head and his skinny legs and his weak knees and his bleary eyes and his smelly armpits and his bad breath.

So al-A'mash became so angered and said, "Is this why we brought you here, you enemy of Allah?!" قُمْ فَاخْرُجْ فَقَدْ أَرَيْتَهَا مِنْ عُيُوبِي مَا لَمْ تَكُنْ تَعْرِفُ — "You have opened her eyes to some of my flaws that she didn't even know about!"

The Prophetic Example: Reconciling Between Fatimah and Ali

And so the last reminder, brothers and sisters: one of the most common areas of discord is between spouses, and instead of parents reconciling — as we saw in the ayah — they usually tend to make things worse. But let's look at the example of the Prophet ﷺ. He went to the house of his daughter Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, and found that Ali was not there. So Fatimah told him: وَقَعَ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَهُ شَيْءٌ فَغَضِبَ مِنِّي وَخَرَجَ — "Something happened between us, so he got angry with me and left."

So the Prophet ﷺ looked for him and found him in the masjid, lying down and sleeping on the masjid floor, with the sand stuck to his skin. The Prophet ﷺ came to him and said: قُمْ يَا أَبَا تُرَابٍ — "Get up, O one covered in sand." And what happened? The Prophet ﷺ took him home. That was how the Prophet ﷺ fixed it. He didn't say, "How could you do this to my daughter, and she is the leader of the women of Paradise?" He could have mentioned all these positive things about her. But look at how he reconciled between them.

Closing

Brothers and sisters in Islam, reconcile before Ramadan. We ask Allah to make us of those who recognize the truth as clear truth and follow the best of it, and to make us of those who recognize falsehood as clear falsehood and abstain from it.