Reflective Bonds: Ummah's Path to Growth

Opening

I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger. He conveyed the Message, fulfilled the Trust, and advised the Ummah — Imam al-Muttaqeen and Seal of the Prophets and Messengers. Peace and blessings be upon him and his family, companions and followers, and those who follow them in good faith until the Day of Judgment.

O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared, and you will not die except as Muslims.

O people, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul, and created from it a wife, and spread among them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Verily, Allah watches over you.

O you who have believed, fear Allah and say the right words. He will correct your deeds and forgive your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great success.

As for what follows: the most truthful of speech is the Word of Allah, and the best guide is the guide of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. The worst of things are newly invented matters, for every innovation is an innovation, and every innovation is an error, and every error leads to the Fire.

Inspiration from Resilience

I couldn't help but be inspired by the grandmother who, after having walked 10 to 15 miles in her old age and having lost everything over the last 50 years, still has the utmost trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He has a plan. I couldn't help but be inspired by her resilience, by her hope.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks about these people in the Qur'an. He says that when they are tested, and when they are told that people are coming against them, their iman increases. And then tawakkul on Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is the thing that they have.

And simultaneously, I couldn't help but be inspired by the young men and women who stand in our college campuses in this part of the world, because they believe that they need to stand up for justice. It reminded me of the ayah:

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is telling the believers: stand up for justice and be witnesses in front of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, even if it is against yourself.

From Passengers to Drivers

I couldn't help but be inspired. But simultaneously, brothers and sisters, I also felt a sense of anxiety. I was anxious because you and I both know that this is the beginning and not the end. You and I both know the journey is long.

And I was anxious because I feel like we are passengers on this journey and not drivers. Waves are sweeping — waves of change, seismic shifts around us are happening. And these waves of change are sweeping everybody, all of us. And we are swimming upstream.

And I was anxious, because I was asking myself: what will it take for us to become the drivers? What will it take for us to be the waves that bring about the change? And brothers and sisters, that is what I want to spend a few minutes with all of you today.

Of course, the task of taking that on — becoming drivers and becoming agents of change, which is what we are tasked with — is a hard one. And a khutbah of 15 minutes won't do justice to it. But I want to touch on a couple of things.

Islam is a Team Sport

Number one, brothers and sisters — I don't know if you have heard this before, but if you take one thing away from this khutbah, let it be this: Islam is a team sport. It is not an individual endeavor. This is something we all have to internalize.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala didn't say you are individually sent. You are sent as a nation, as a community. Islam is a team sport. Your family is a team. This community is a team. The Muslims in Dallas are a team. The Muslims in the US are a team. The Ummah is a team.

And what I want to talk about briefly today is how do effective teams operate. Because one of the ways you bring about change — if you look around the world — change happens when teams are effective and working together, and they move into the driver's seat. It doesn't happen individually.

What Makes a Team Effective

Taking a pause for a minute and thinking about our own work, thinking about what you observe in teams, there are two things that stand out in any given effective team.

Number one: the team is mission aligned. Everybody on the team knows what the mission is and is working towards it.

Number two: they have an insatiable thirst for growth.

And I want to pick a characteristic that is the foundational underpinning for both of these qualities in a team — which is a culture of feedback. Effective teams operate in a culture of feedback.

Why Feedback Matters for the Ummah

Brothers and sisters, as we reflect on the past several years and ask ourselves — are we a team in our households, in our communities, as an Ummah — are we a team that loves to give feedback to each other and take feedback from each other? I think you will answer that in some aspects we are. We will send out surveys and talk about whether we did well logistically. We will have conversations with our family about the world and how we can do better. But feedback is more than that.

The mission of this Ummah is more than that. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says:

Let there be a team amongst you — a set of people that come out and give feedback to each other. When somebody is going wrong, they tell them: you are getting it wrong. When somebody is doing right, they encourage it. When somebody is not doing something, they tell them: this must be done.

And that is how, brothers and sisters — أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ — that is how you become successful. And this is the promise of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

So we have to ask ourselves: what have we done in this aspect? The unfortunate reality, subhanAllah, is that over the past 20 years, the cultural waves we were swept into have made us into people who don't necessarily seek feedback about our religion. Because we have made religion a very personal thing. We say: it's your journey, you do your journey, I'm not worried about your journey, and I don't get to impact your journey.

But the reality, brothers and sisters, is our journeys are intertwined. Your journey matters to me. My journey should matter to you. If it doesn't, we are no longer a team. Look back at our worldly teams — a quintessential quality of an effective team is that they will tell each other when they are going wrong. They will say: hey, we have to do this, because we are a team that is mission aligned. Those teams are effective, and they make a change.

أقول قولي هذا وأستغفر الله لي ولكم ولسائر المسلمين فاستغفروه إنه هو الغفور الرحيم

The Believer as a Mirror

الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله وعلى آله وصحبه ومن والاه

Having established the fact that feedback is important for the success of teams — both from a religious perspective as well as a worldly perspective — I want to talk about what this means and what we should take away.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, gives us a beautiful hadith — one that is considered very concise yet very powerful:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4918)

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says: a believer is a mirror for the believer.

Our scholars talk about this hadith. They say it has several benefits. Number one, it benefits the one who is giving advice — who is giving feedback to someone else. They act like a mirror. SubhanAllah, our ukhuwah — our bond that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala placed between us — that bond is founded on this idea of being mirrors to each other.

Three Principles of Effective Feedback

When you stand in front of a mirror, the mirror does not hide your faults. The mirror challenges you directly to look at your faults. And this is a core concept of feedback loops — challenge directly. SubhanAllah, when you reflect on what Islam teaches us and the culture Islam wants us to build in this team, this Ummah, it is exactly that.

Don't put a sandwich of good things on the front, good things on the back, and just mention the real point in the middle so the person doesn't even know what you said. When you look at effective teams, they survive on direct feedback. They want everybody to say: tell me — you must challenge me directly — because if you don't, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I need to improve.

Which brings us to the second point: when you are looking in the mirror, you accept graciously. You accept the feedback graciously. You are not there to blame the one who is giving you feedback. You want to understand it. You want to look in the mirror longer. You want to understand deeply. You accept it graciously.

And these are things today that we must ask ourselves — are we developing as a community? Are you developing this in your team? Especially the men in the audience: you are leading families. Your team is your family, and your family is your team. How are you cultivating this in your family, where you are being mirrors to each other?

And the third thing — which is the most important thing, and it applies to both the one giving and the one receiving — is to care personally. You care personally about getting better, so you are gracious. And the one who is giving feedback cares personally about the other person getting better and cares personally about their own responsibility towards the mission. It's not about whether somebody is doing wrong. It's not about whether you are getting it right. It's about the mission.

So you care personally. And you care deeply. That means you don't exaggerate. When you give feedback, you don't exaggerate. You don't tell someone they are ruined. That is what the mirror tells them. And the other person's responsibility is to accept it graciously.

Our Mission as the Best Nation

I wanted to share this brief set of things with you. I don't believe these 15 minutes will suddenly change everything. But I do believe it can be a catalyst for a conversation in our communities, in our families, in our households. How are we implementing the command of Allah?

The distinguishing thing about this Ummah — when Allah says:

You are the best nation that was sent to mankind — He distinguishes this Ummah by saying: you enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong. And when you reflect on this, subhanAllah, it speaks to the core of how this team can be successful — which is that we have this continuous feedback loop amongst everyone, amongst individuals, amongst leaders, telling us how we could do better. We are asking for it, seeking it, and giving it.

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4918)

This is our mission: standing as witnesses to this mankind. What does that mean? We are inviting them from the worship of creation, from the worship of desires, to the worship of the Creator. If you are on that mission, you need help. And you should be aware that you need help.

Practical Takeaways

You and I both need to be aware that we need help. We should be asking each other. Next time you see your brother, tell them: hey, what can I be doing better in my religion? It's going to be uncomfortable — for you and for them. Because unfortunately we have lost this. If you look at the Sahaba, they used to do this to each other. They used to say: okay, tell me, give me advice. And they didn't mean worldly advice. They meant: what can I be doing better as a Muslim?

So the individual thing that I ask of you as you leave this khutbah: next time you see your close friend, ask them — hey, how can I be a better Muslim? Tell me what faults you see in me. And then give them that advice in return. The more we ask each other, the better we will be, inshallah.

The second thing — especially for the men in the audience who lead households. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala made you responsible for your families. You will be questioned about your families on the Day of Judgment. You will be questioned about your wife and your children and what kind of guidance you gave them as a leader. There are no ifs and buts about it.

Ask yourselves: what kind of culture and structures am I creating — not just in my family, but in our societies? But especially for men in families: what kind of structures am I creating in my household to cultivate a feedback loop that nurtures this behavior?

And to the women: ask yourselves, how can I nurture this amongst ourselves, amongst our children, and raise a generation that thrives on feedback? Because feedback is the key to improvement. It is the key to growth. And this is proven in worldly affairs, and it is proven in the Quran and Sunnah.

Du'a

I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to give us the capability to ask each other for feedback about our religion, about our spiritual health. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to give us the capability to be just when we give each other feedback — to not exaggerate, to accept gracefully, to challenge directly, to care personally. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for the betterment of this Ummah, and for the betterment of all of you.

O Allah, grant victory to our brothers and sisters, O Lord. O Allah, grant victory to our brothers and sisters everywhere, and especially in Gaza and Sudan. O Allah, those among them who are barefoot — carry them. Those who are unclothed — clothe them. Those who are hungry — feed them, O Most Merciful to the poor. O Answerer of the call of the distressed, O Allah, deal with the oppressors. O Revealer of the Book, O Mover of the clouds, O Defeater of the confederates — defeat them and shake them, O the Strong, O the Mighty. You are sufficient for us and You are the best Disposer of affairs. There is no power and no strength except with You. Our Lord, grant us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.

Indeed, Allah commands justice, good conduct, and giving to relatives, and He forbids immorality, bad conduct, and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.

Rise for your prayer — may Allah have mercy on you.