Relieving Hardships : A Path to Allah's Favor

Relieving Hardships: A Path to Allah's Favor

All praise and thanks are due to Allah. We praise and thank Him. We seek His assistance and we seek His forgiveness. We take refuge in Allah from the evils of ourselves and from the sinfulness of our actions.

Whomever Allah guides, none can misguide, and whomever Allah misguides, none can guide. I bear witness that there is none worth worshipping but Allah, alone, with no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad ﷺ is His Servant and His Messenger.

Allah reminds us in Surah Ali 'Imran, He says:

O you who believe, have taqwa of Allah with the taqwa that is due to Him, and die not except in a state of Islam, except in a state of submission.

And He also says in Surah An-Nisa':

O people, have taqwa of your Lord, who created you from one soul, and created from it its mate, and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And have taqwa of Allah through whom you ask one another and the wombs. Surely Allah is ever over you an observer.

The Hadith of the Travelers: Serving Others Brings Greater Reward

Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates a hadith that is recorded in Muslim, and similarly in Bukhari and also Nasa'i. He says: We were traveling with the Prophet ﷺ, and some of us were fasting, whereas others of us weren't fasting — and obviously this is an optional fast, as they were traveling in the desert. He says: We came across this area where we wanted to camp, set up camp, and it was such a hot day. It was so hot that the people who had the most shade were those who had the most clothing — very loose clothing that covered them. And he said, it was so extreme that some of us were using our hands to shield ourselves from the sun. That's how hot it was — to the level that those of us who were fasting collapsed; they fell on the ground, presumably exhausted and dehydrated from such a difficult day.

And he continues, may Allah be pleased with him: But those of us who weren't fasting — what did they do? They quickly set up, pitched the tents for shade, and then they brought water and started giving it to the animals that were carrying them. And so the Prophet ﷺ commented upon this situation in front of them.

(Sahih Muslim, Book 13, Hadith 2482; also recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sunan an-Nasa'i)

"Today, those who aren't fasting — they're the ones who got the reward. They're the ones who won. They're the ones who excelled."

And perhaps one of the reasons, or the main reason, is that those who were fasting this optional fast were fasting for themselves — they're fasting so that they can get reward. But those who weren't fasting and had the strength and the vigor to set up, to pitch the tents for everyone, for the whole group, to get water for the animals, to make sure that the group was okay — they were serving others. Not just helping themselves, but also helping other people. And so they had a higher status.

The Reciprocal Relationship: Helping Others, Being Helped by Allah

There are so many ahadith that talk about this reciprocity — that we have this reciprocal relationship. When we help others, Allah helps us. There's the hadith where the Nabi ﷺ tells us:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 35, Hadith 6518)

"Whoever is ready to help his brother in need, then Allah is ready to help him in his need."

And he also says ﷺ:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 35, Hadith 6519)

"Whoever relieves the distress, the worldly grief, the anxiety of the Muslim in this world — if you help them out, then Allah relieves you from the distresses of the Day of Rising, the Day of Resurrection."

And he says ﷺ: "Allah shows mercy to those of His slaves who are merciful to others."

So when we think about it, we're really in two states. On the one hand, we're either helping others, or we're being helped. We're either seeking advice, seeking support, seeking assistance, seeking aid — or we're providing that to others. So let's begin with the first of these states: the one who's asking for help.

The First State: Asking for Help

When we are recommended by our mashayikh — and it's a beautiful practice — after salah, look to who's on your right, and look to who's on your left, and say salam to this person, say salam to that person, get to know them. We get their name. But something that we sometimes forget about is the burden that they're carrying — the hardship that they're experiencing, the adversity that they're facing.

And don't think, "oh, it's just me, I'm really dealing with a difficult situation." This, subhanAllah, is one of the tests of this short, fleeting life — it's the difficulty of it, it's the toiling of it. And even our blessed Prophet ﷺ had 'Aam al-Huzn — that year of sadness — and what grief he faced on so many occasions in the seerah. We have stories in the Qur'an that talk about sadness, about grief. Perhaps one that comes to mind is Sayyiduna Ya'qub عليه السلام. When he lost his son Yusuf, he was so grief-stricken that he continued to cry and cry and cry until he became blinded with his sadness, عليه السلام.

So this is part of the human experience. We shouldn't be shy — "oh, you know what, I'm just going through a difficult situation." But we have to let other people know. We can't isolate ourselves.

Simple things like sending a message — you know how happy the community gets when you text a few people and you say, "You know what, I'm really sick right now. Can someone please help me get some soup, get some medicine, go to the drugstore, get this for me. Can you get me some hydrating drinks?" Or if someone — no one knows if you have a family member in the hospital until you say something like, "Actually, my spouse is in the hospital, my child, my parent — it's really difficult on me." And what happens? People come with the meal trains. "Don't even think about food, we're going to cook for you." When someone gives birth, or a spouse gives birth, and the difficulty of the whole situation in the first few weeks — when you're moving, and you just need someone to help you pack up the boxes, put some bubble wrap, lift up some things and maneuver — it's an opportunity for khayr.

I can't tell you how many times I've reached out to people and they say, "JazakumAllahu khayran — thank you for giving me the opportunity for khayr." Similarly, you're going to find your brothers and sisters are happy to do this, insha'Allah ta'ala.

Sometimes you just need to talk. Sometimes you don't need advice, or an answer to a question. You're struggling with your career, you just need someone to talk to, you just need a listening ear. And so being able to just reach out to someone — but you have to let people know.

Maybe it's a DIY project at home you're really struggling with. Ask people. I can tell you also how many times I hear people saying, "I wish this person had told me. I wish they told me they were struggling with their rent and couldn't pay the bills this month and needed to borrow some money — I would have helped them. But they never said anything." Don't be that person.

I have a friend who works in corporate. And he told me, "I seek mentorship and advice from the executives." I was like, wow, that's a really big deal — you're going to the C-suite, you're going to the leadership. How do they have time for you? And what he told me surprised me. He said, "You know, actually, they're so happy and delighted, because nobody goes to them for advice. Everyone's too shy. I don't know if I want to ask this person, I don't know if I want to ask that person." So they don't end up taking advantage of the opportunity.

The Second State: Offering Help

How about those of us who can offer help? Think of our situation here in Dallas. Many of us — so many people, on a monthly basis — are moving to our community. اللَّهُمَّ زِدْهُ بَرَكَةً — may Allah put barakah and increase us in number. Alhamdulillah, it's a beautiful thing.

But what have we left behind? Whom have we left behind? Sometimes we're immigrants — we've left our parents, we've left our siblings, our aunts, our uncles. We've left a support system from our extended family. We've come here just maybe with our spouse and our children, and it's a more difficult situation. We came for noble reasons — we want a Muslim community, a good environment, mashallah. But what that means is we have to rely on each other even more. And so this is your opportunity, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala, to reach out to people.

The Lesson of Abu 'Umayr and the Little Bird

There's something about the questions we ask. I'm thinking specifically about another hadith from Anas ibn Malik radiyallahu 'anhu — a famous hadith. He said: I had a younger brother whose name was Abu 'Umayr. Many of us know this hadith. He said that the Nabi ﷺ, one of the times he visited in his home, saw him crying. In one narration it says he had just finished being weaned — so perhaps he was two or three years old, a very young boy. And the Nabi ﷺ saw him sniffling, saw him crying, saw him experiencing sadness. And so he starts asking about him — "What happened? What happened to this boy? Why is he sad?" And they said, "Well, he used to have a little bird, a sparrow, and it died. His pet bird died." And so he said ﷺ:

(Sunan Abi Dawud, Book 43, Hadith 4969; also recorded in Sunan at-Tirmidhi)

"O Abu 'Umayr — what happened to your little bird?"

Imagine — the Nabi ﷺ with the importance of his mission, with the elevation of his status, and he sees a toddler. And he approaches him, and he directs his full attention. He's fully present. And he communicates with him, he empathizes with him, he connects with him ﷺ.

I was reading the commentary of this hadith while preparing for the khutbah. And one of the hadith scholars said: some people used to mock the scholars of hadith and say, "Why did you take this hadith and write it down and memorize it and pass it on? It's insignificant." And he said, "Until this day, we have derived more than 60 benefits from this hadith." More than 60 benefits, wisdoms, and lessons from this one short hadith: يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ؟ SubhanAllah, very simple.

But again, just with us in the masjid — how many times do we see a child and we say salam to their dad or their mom and we're not even looking at the person who's in front of us and just giving them salam, giving them that attention. Sometimes people need a hug. Sometimes people need a shoulder to cry on, and even brothers — sometimes you're in a difficult situation. Reach out to people. Reach out to people.

Because we know from COVID, people were going through a difficult time — and that hasn't stopped. This is the nature of our life.

Building Deep and Meaningful Relationships

I want to end with this point of how do you build this. Some of us might be asking: alright, I want some help in my situation, or I want to help other people. How can I go about this practically speaking?

Well, the important thing is that you need deep and meaningful relationships. How many times do we get together at the da'wah, the 'azima, and we're talking about sports and cars and politics and products? We're talking about current events and different things, and we're not getting very deep about certain issues. When you get deep, use that as a gauge for yourself personally. Use that as a way to kind of see — "You know what, this brother or this sister, they seem like someone who I want to come closer to. They seem like someone who I want to develop a relationship with."

And don't feel that you're alone if you think right now, "I don't have any friends." Research shows that right now, in terms of friendship, it's like a historic low. We're not socializing with one another. We're not spending time with one another. Our connections are superficial — through WhatsApp, through social media. Those aren't real relationships where we're sitting down.

Try to increase from the one-on-one — not just big groups, but one-on-one where you're sitting down with this person or that person and you're talking: "Here's what's happening in my life — what's happening in your life?" You don't have to share everything, but just start somewhere, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala. There's a book called Never Eat Alone where the author recommends taking every opportunity you can. We don't have to go to that extreme of always hanging out and networking, but just try once a week. Once a week say, "Let's grab coffee. Come over for tea. Let's connect with one another," bi-idhnillahi ta'ala.

And you may not have that now, but just take a chance, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala. I promise you, you're going to be surprised. Just take a chance. Connect with someone in the community. Find that support. Build your support group. You'll be very blessed if you find one friend like this. If you have two or three, this is amazing, mashallah. Don't aim for big numbers — quality over quantity.

And sometimes you're just going to be in that situation like Sayyidina Ya'qub عليه السلام — although he had his family and everyone — where you say صَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ: "Ya Allah, I'm going to have a beautiful patience. I'm going to rely on Allah. I don't have that yet — I'm going to build that." But in the meantime, and also when you develop those friendships and those relationships, keep going to Allah.

Advice for the Youth

For the youth — a specific advice for the young brothers and sisters right now in the masjid. At least until high school, I would say: go to your parents. I still go to my parents for advice. There's so much misinformation online. There's so much wrong information that you find amongst other people, amongst your peer groups, where you go to them and you're like, "Okay, I'm going to implement this khutbah," and you go to your friend in 5th grade, or in 11th grade, or in elementary school, and you find they don't give you good advice. So go to your moms, go to your dads, ask them for advice. Ask them, "Who do you go to when you need help?" Say, "What should I do in this situation?" This is how you're going to grow, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala.

Remembering Our Brothers and Sisters in Palestine and Beyond

And Palestine — every time I sit down to write a khutbah, I think of our brothers and sisters in Palestine. May Allah grant them victory. May Allah grant them prosperity. May Allah grant them peace, Ya Rabb al-'alamin. May Allah have mercy upon their martyrs, Ya Rabb al-'alamin.

If there ever was an example — subhanAllah, we have so many incidents that are being reported of helping each other out, or even jabr al-khawatir — emotional consolation of one another. Something that really stood out to me of how we can support them — we're sending donations — is what one of the doctors said who went to Gaza and came back. It still sticks with me. He said, in one of those panels: "I never used to go to protests. I said, 'Who cares? What difference is it going to make if I'm going to city hall, if I'm doing something locally here in Dallas?'" And then he said: "When I was there in Gaza, the people told me — when you do that in America, we see you. The news reaches us. The pictures reach us. The videos reach us. And we feel so emotionally supported by you standing out there and remembering us."

So even these small acts go a long way, where beyond our community, our brothers and sisters in Palestine and elsewhere in the world where they're oppressed — whether it's East Turkestan, the Rohingya, our brothers and sisters in Sudan, in all of the Muslim countries, and the non-Muslim countries as well, in France and the crackdown on Muslims there — doing that makes a big impact, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala.

Summary

In summary, we're always in these two states: either we're seeking help, or we're helping others. If you need help — speak out. Reach out. Connect with someone, and get the help you need. And if you're able to do it, then have those positive relationships so that you can, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala, be able to provide that for others.

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'alamin, Qayyum al-samawati wal-ardayn, was-salatu was-salamu 'ala Rasulillahi al-Sadiq al-Amin.

Second Khutbah

"Indeed the believers are brothers."

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him — (Sahih Muslim, Book 35, Hadith 6518)

عِبَادَ اللَّهِ، اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَيُعَلِّمُكُمُ اللَّهُ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ.

وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ