Sh.Waleed Basyouni

Enjoying the Little Things in Life

My dear brothers and sisters, enjoy the little things in life. For one day, you will look back and realize they were the big things. When I read this first time, this quote in the first time, it really stuck with me.

And the more I think about it, I see it makes a lot of sense. These little things in life, when you look back at it later on, you will find them that they are big things and meant a lot for you. As a matter of fact, it's interesting.

When you usually try to remember things, you always remember small little things, like moments. You remember a specific incidence. Even the Sahaba, sometimes when they try to have a moment of nostalgia, they will mention little small things.

He held my hand, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. He basically pat me on my back. He came and he hugged me from behind me.

These little things meant a lot to them that after decades, they still remember it. In many different areas, this issue is not in one aspect of life. And I want to talk today about how important it is to care about these things that might be called small or little, but indeed they are not.

They mean a lot and they can add up to be something very great.

Small Deeds and Small Sins

He said, just as the small sins and minor sins, when you collect so many of them, the Prophet said, it will take you straight to hellfire. On the other hand also, we understand from the same hadith, we understand that also these little small good deeds that you do every day and you accumulate them, it will save you in the Day of Judgment.

And it will raise your level in Jannah.

The Prophet said, أَلِفٌ لَامٌ مِيمٌ — each letter gives you ten good deeds. I'm not saying أَلِفٌ لَامٌ مِيمٌ is one letter, but أَلِفٌ is a letter, لَامٌ is a letter, and مِيمٌ is a letter — that's 30 good deeds. This is small things but it matters, it adds up quickly.

The Example of Al-Rabīʿ ibn Khuthaym

Subhan'Allah, al-Rabīʿ ibn Khuthaym was one of the students of the great scholar ʿAbdullāh ibn Masʿūd. One time a poor blind man came to him, and al-Rabīʿ ibn Khuthaym's wife made him something sweet to eat. His wife said that he is blind anyway, so why bother? But al-Rabīʿ ibn Khuthaym said, even though he might not see, Allah does. He hears and He sees. That little thing — even to the extent that he made sure that it was presented in the most perfect way — it shows a sense of attitude. That's why, my brother and sister, success in general is the sum of a lot of small things done correctly.

The true people who achieve success in life and achieve excellence in big things are the people who develop the habit in little matters. Because excellence is not an exception — excellence and success are the result of the habit of caring about doing things correctly and doing things in the best way. Developing that habit is so important. Having that attitude is so important for us as Muslims.

The Prophet's Attention to Small Details

And if we look at our religion and the way of Muhammad, you will see that this is something that the Shariah cared for it so much. And it's very interesting. We look at the model for us, which is Muhammad. Look, for example, when someone called the Prophet, he would not just say yes like this and turn his cheek. He would turn his whole chest to basically be in front of the person and talk to him. These are little things but it matters. It shows how much he cares.

When the Prophet shakes somebody's hand, he would not leave somebody's hand until the person leaves first. Today you're lucky if you got even a handshake. You're lucky if you got an eye contact for three seconds, and then he's already gone, or he gives you like the tip of his finger, just not paying that attention to you.

When he gives you attention, how many times did the Sahaba say that the first thing they saw about the Prophet — every time, not one, not occasionally, not rarely, every time — he would smile at them. When he speaks to someone and someone speaks to him, he will never cut that person off. He will wait until the person finishes completely. And he said even to al-Walīd ibn al-Mughīra, which is the Pharaoh of this Ummah, "Are you finished, Abū al-Walīd?" — making sure that he's not going to interrupt the person in front of him.

Ibn Jurayj said: Ibn ʿAttāʾ ibn Abī Rabāḥ narrated that he said, "Indeed, a young man will come and narrate to me a hadith, and I will listen to him so attentively as if I am listening to it the first time, even though I heard this hadith before this young man was even born." That's the education of the companions. He was a student of Ibn ʿAbbās. That's how the etiquette worked. That's how they cared about these small things, and they are not indeed so small.

Returning the Greeting

The Shariah said when someone gives you السَّلَامُ, it is obligatory on you to do what? Return it with the same or better. And somebody asked, why would Allah above his throne care about when someone greets you how you respond? He said you respond equal or more, not less. If I said to you السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ, you can say وَعَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَامُ. You have to say وَعَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَامُ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ, or you add وَبَرَكَاتُهُ. That's why sometimes I get a little bit annoyed in emails. Somebody said السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ. Now I have to write وَعَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَامُ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ. It's too long to write. It takes too much time. But I have to. Some scholars said if you come and say السَّلَامُ, it's an issue. So the point is that Allah cares about this. That's making sure that we care about these things.

Privacy and Consideration in Gatherings

The Prophet said, "Two people should not whisper in private in front of a third person, because that will make that person feel bad." And this is in a hadith from Ibn Masʿūd in the Sahih. When three people are together, two of them should not talk to each other privately and leave the third person out. Why? Because that will make that person feel hurt and upset. And it's a sin. It's not just an easy thing. The Shariah has ruled about it.

Not Criticizing the Food Provided

When the Prophet was invited to a meal or food was presented to him, he would never criticize it at all. He would never say, "Eww, I don't like it. It's bad." Unfortunately, our kids today are not caring about even these little small things — kids and older making this kind of comments. The Prophet would never criticize the food that was provided to him. If he desired it, he would eat it. Otherwise, he would say, "I'm not interested in eating."

The Prophet said, "If any one of you has a servant who made food for you and brought it to you, then if you did not let the servant sit and eat with you, you should at least give him a bite or two of the food." In one narration in Sahih al-Bukhari and in another narration in Sunan Ibn Mājaḥ, he said, "Because that servant is the one who cooked it, who dealt with the fire, who dealt with the heat, and with all the effort. At least give him some." See, that thing should not go unnoticed. Even though he's your servant, you make sure that you give the person and share the food with them.

Caring About the Little Ones

The Prophet was praying, and he said, "I will pray and my intention is to have a good, long prayer, but I hear the child crying in the back of the masjid. So I will make the prayer short." Why? Because his mother worries about him. Because the child is looking for his mother. A little boy passed by, and he said, "O Abū ʿUmayr, what happened to your little bird, to your pet?" He cared not only about the boy but about his pet and what happened to his pet. He cared about these small things.

The Example of ʿAbdullāh ibn Bashr

One of the most amazing hadiths is from ʿAbdullāh ibn Bashr, also in Sunan Abī Dāwūd and others, and in Muslim. ʿAbdullāh ibn Bashr saw something very interesting. He noticed something small, but it meant a lot, and he documented this for us in the Sunnah. He said, "I invited the Prophet to my house, so I brought him food and I brought him dates. While he was eating, we were all eating together from one plate of dates piled together in a bowl." He said, "When the Prophet would take a date and want to spit out the seed, how would he do it?" ʿAbdullāh ibn Bashr said, "I saw him put the seed" — in another narration in Sunan Abī Dāwūd — "on the back of his hand, between his middle finger and his index finger. He would put the seed on them."

Why? Because when he would take it with the tip of his finger like that, and then he would put his finger back into the dates, that would not be something you know acceptable to the people. It's for hygiene — to make sure that whatever touched his saliva or mouth — even though it's the most pure — he would teach the Ummah the etiquette. He cared about these small little things.

ʿAbdullāh ibn Bashr said, "Then we gave him food and drinks, and he drank water. Then me and my father walked him out, and he made dua for us."

The Prophet's Treatment of His Daughter Fāṭimah

ʿĀʾishah said about Fāṭimah: "I have never seen anyone more resembling the Prophet than Fāṭimah." But look at the small things. When she would come in, he would stand up for her and he would hug her, kiss her, and he would let her sit in his place. Look at the honor and respect for his daughter! When she would get something, a gift, and she would do the same to him. That means a lot to your father. That small thing — it means a lot to your father too. You learn from both sides. She would kiss her father. She would say, "No, you sit in my place, Dad. You sit in my spot."

Speaking in the Language People Understand

He carried Umm Khālid. He got a gift like a nice piece of cloth. He said, "Where is Umm Khālid?" Umm Khālid was a little girl. She was carried and brought before the Prophet. The Prophet put the cloth around her and said, "Oh, that would be a nice thing for your mom too. Make a dress for you. It has red lines and green lines, and it's colorful." Then he said to her, "This is سَنَةٌ, O Umm Khālid." He gave her a nickname, and he said سَنَةٌ. What does سَنَةٌ mean? سَنَةٌ is not an Arabic word. It's an Abyssinian word, and it means beautiful. It's a word from the Abyssinian language. He said, "This is beautiful." Why? Because Umm Khālid was a little girl born and raised in Abyssinia. Even when the Sahaba were in Abyssinia, she knows that's her language. She knows it. He's speaking to her in a language that she can relate to. These small little things make a huge difference in relationships — huge difference with your family, with your children, with your wife, with your husband, with your community, at work. Even the little things.

How Small Things Impact Decisions

There is a study that shows when people go buy a car, you know what most people look for in a car? A study shows that most people will buy the car after they see the small little things — the cup holder, the light that comes on, the change of the color, the wood, how it looks like. These small things make a big, huge difference — more than the engine and the safety feature sometimes. You know, even in decoration, small little things matter. People come to the masjid here and tell me, "I love your masjid." I said, "Jazakallah khair." They said, "Mashallah, nobody leaves shoes at the place where we get out." But what about the khutbah or the salah or the recitation of the Quran? That's what you care about? I love the shoes. But that's true. A lot of things make a huge difference, and caring for it makes a big, huge impact on people's lives. Even little gifts mean a lot — many times more impactful and more powerful than big ones.

Small Things Matter in the Masjid

May Allah make our morals beautiful and improve our conditions and grant us good morals in speech and deeds. I want to be more specific about how small things matter in the masjid too. Smiling at someone passing by you — not cutting someone off in the parking lot, giving someone the opportunity to go, not pushing the parking lot guy when he said, "Hey, please go there." Even if you don't agree with him, you know it's not going to harm me, but I can talk about it later. But I will respect the line behind me. Just being patient with others. Not being wasteful. Also, one of the things that means a lot is when we have a guest and somebody comes in. When I travel to a masjid and somebody comes, "Assalamu alaikum, what's your name? Thank you, your khutbah was good. I really benefited today from your khutbah." Or somebody says, "Hey, last khutbah — by the way, that khutbah was very good. I learned this. I share this with my family." These things make huge impact on people's feelings. They develop a habit of goodness and a good connection, good attitude, good akhlaq.

Last week we had guests in the masjid coming from overseas — Muslims and non-Muslims. And as much as I was so happy, because they were so proud. They told me, "This is the best masjid we've been to." There were so many good compliments. And as much as I was so happy with that, I was also in pain. Last week I was in pain with this for a while, but last week really hurt me the most. Because it's not only in-house. This is now visitors coming. They were amazed in the salah by how quiet you guys are. But the masjid has now turned to be like a marketplace, a fish market. And that's not acceptable.

I am the same person who was talking in the minbar, who was talking in the microphone. That's not my evil twin. That's me. I'm talking. I'm telling you, "Hey, by the way, there's one, two, three. You don't want to hear the announcement? It's up to you. You can go. But you don't have the right to talk while I'm talking." That's small things matter. You don't have the right to be talking, and the echo of your voice is going everywhere. Well, there's somebody trying to pray their sunnah. That's not correct.

And I think that we need to be more responsible about these small things because that's what really sometimes shapes who you are as a community. We care about not leaving the shoes. I don't think somebody dies if we're going to leave one single shoe in front of the masjid. But it is because we all do that — it became looking nice. It looks safe for everybody, those who want to get out quickly, somebody handicapped. Same thing. I just want to make a rule that we all agree upon. There is no more talking, raising voice inside the prayer area after salah. You want to talk? When you reach the shoe area, talk as much as you want. In here, it should completely be soft. Some people, like me, are by nature loud people, so we try to minimize this to the minimum. And especially when the announcement is being made — because it really feels so bad. I wish I could do that, but I feel embarrassed when I see all the people talking. One day I'll ask him to do the announcement, you're reading, and everybody is like talking or like not giving you attention. So these little things also matter in the masjid.

And we cannot live like a double life. We should be consistent in these areas.

Why Small Things Matter

Why do little things matter? Because it means that if you care about the small things, you will care about the big things. And also, when you care about little things, when it comes to dealing with people, it means that you really care about that person. You respect that person. Things really don't matter. What matters is people.

So I ask Allah to always make us among those who care. I'm not aiming for basics. I consider us as a community a role model, and we hold ourselves to the highest standard. That's why I'm very open about this and talking about it like this with you guys. And I will not get tired from reminding. And I have nothing like Alhamdulillah. I love each and every one of you. The most, I think, we are one of the best communities I have ever seen in my life. But you know what? That's how it goes. We push each other.

And I highly recommend you to listen to my second khutbah online because in my second khutbah I'll talk in details about some of the evidence related to the issue of the ruling of talking in the masjid and raising voice in the masjid. And I highly recommend you to listen to it online so we kind of complete one another. Today we have a shortage of imams, so I'm giving the two khutbahs. Alhamdulillah.

Closing Du'a

Alhamdulillah.