Snapshots into the Relationships of the Prophet ‎ﷺ

Snapshots into the Relationships of the Prophet ﷺ

His example flows into every aspect of our life. Every aspect of our life. We find in the preservation of the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, a guidance. And not just guidance, but as Allah says:

In a different qira'ah, إِسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ — you have the best guide, the best example in the Messenger of Allah that Allah left us with. And so in today's khutbah, I wanted to give you a few snapshots into the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, particularly with the relationships he formed. And it's tremendous when you study the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ — it is a never-ending endeavor full of beauty and joy. The more you read, the more you learn, the more you grow in love with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.

The Story of Zayd ibn Haritha

I thought it would be fitting to start with a narration and an incident that happened — that perhaps is one of the most fitting to summarize who the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was, to understand that. And it's a narration about Zayd ibn Haritha رضي الله عنه وأرضاه, one of the companions of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.

He lived among the tribe of Al-Kalb, on the outskirts of Mecca. And as a young boy, before Islam, he was taken as a prisoner in the raids and battles that would occur. He was taken as a prisoner, as a slave, and taken away from his family — from his uncles, his father, his brothers and siblings and the like. He was sold into slavery and ended up under the care and ownership of Khadija رضي الله عنها, the wife of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. And he was then gifted to the Prophet of Allah ﷺ by his wife Khadija. So now Zayd is the slave of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.

Now it was tradition, even before Islam, that people would come to Mecca and perform Hajj. And so there were members of the tribe of Al-Kalb who came to Mecca and they saw Zayd and they recognized him. So they went back and they told his father, Al-Haritha. They said, "Al-Haritha, we have found your son. He is alive. He is in Mecca."

So Al-Haritha gets his brother and he gets some elders from the tribe, and they set off to Mecca. And Al-Haritha — you have to understand — he lost his son. He lost his son. He would write lines of poetry, saying:

He goes on and on — "I cry and I cry about my son Zayd. I don't know — is he alive, so I can keep hoping that I see him again? Or has death come to him?" Imagine that feeling as a father of not knowing what happened to your son or daughter. So now he is given the news that his son is alive and in Mecca. He sets off, goes to Mecca, and asks: "Where is Muhammad ﷺ?" He is told that he is near the Haram.

So he goes and he finds him. After saying some words of praise, he tells him that, "We've come to ask you for our son that's with you. So be good to us and we will pay a hefty price. We're willing to pay whatever it is that you ask."

The Prophet ﷺ, when he hears this, is confused. He says, "What do you mean, your son with me? Who are you talking about?" He says, "Zayd ibn Haritha." And the Messenger ﷺ says, "Why don't I give you a better option than that? Rather than paying some high price, why don't we call Zayd and ask him? And if he wants to go with you, he is free to go with you." And so they said, "You have been beyond generous and kind in your justice. We weren't expecting this. We came with a lot of money, expecting to pay a hefty price. But if you're going to let our son choose, absolutely."

So Zayd is called. And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ first asks him:

"Do you recognize these people?" And Zayd said, "Yes, this is my father and this is my uncle." So the Messenger ﷺ says, "So you know who I am. And you know my love for you. I give you the choice — choose whoever you want. If you want to stay with me, you can stay with me. If you want to go back with your father, you can go back with your father."

You know what Zayd says in response:

"I swear by Allah, I can never choose someone over you, ever in my life. You are to me like the position of my father and my uncle in one."

And his father is hearing this. You have to understand — he's not just choosing to stay with the Prophet ﷺ, but he's choosing to stay as a slave. He's a slave in Mecca. So his father says:

"What's wrong with you? Are you choosing uboodiyyah? Are you choosing slavery over freedom? Over being with your father again and your uncle again?" And so Zayd responds:

"Yes, because I have seen things from this man that I can never, ever choose and prefer someone over him ﷺ."

And so the Messenger of Allah ﷺ takes Zayd by his hand and takes him to the Hijr — Hijr Ismail, the little side part of the Ka'bah. And he calls out to everyone, saying: "I call you all to testify, to witness that Zayd is my son. I will inherit from him and he will inherit from me."

So Abdullah ibn Umar says that they used to call Zayd ibn Haritha, "Zayd ibn Muhammad ﷺ," until Allah revealed the verse:

"Call your adopted sons by their lineage, by their father — this is more just in the eyes of Allah." And so then they called him Zayd ibn Haritha.

But SubhanAllah — what kind of man, what kind of character, what kind of love and patience and mercy and every single good quality you can imagine would be embodied in a person such that a child, a young boy, a young man, would choose a life of slavery rather than going back to the comfort of his father and his family.

The Testimony of Those Closest to Him

SubhanAllah, I'm sharing with you to start this khutbah the descriptions of those who are closest to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Because here's the thing — when we're at work, we kind of have to be on our best behavior. We can't speak to our boss in a bad way, our director, our supervisor, our co-workers, because there'll be consequences. But sometimes those closest to us — in our families, in our social circles, our friends, our extended family, our wives, our husbands, our children, our parents — we take for granted. And the character they would testify to would be very different from the character testified to by our friends in the masjid or our co-workers at work.

Aisha's Testimony

Aisha, the wife of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ — Abdullah ibn Umar goes to her and tells her:

"O Mother of the Believers, tell us the strangest, most amazing thing you saw from the Prophet ﷺ." This is after he passed away. So imagine Aisha being asked this question — you lived a life with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. What is the one thing you can choose that would be most amazing? It's like a film roll going through her mind, playing so many memories. How do I choose?

Ibn Umar narrates that فَبَكَتْ بُكَاءً شَدِيدًا — this film goes through her mind, and then she literally just breaks down crying. And not just crying — she is weeping. And she says:

"Everything about him was amazing. Everything about him was amazing. Every aspect of his life was amazing — how he treated me, how he treated others, how he treated the children in the community, how he treated the animals. I can't think of just one thing…"

And then she went on to say something about how she was with him one night, and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ told her:

"O Aisha, allow me to worship my Lord tonight." It was her night — every night would be with one of his wives, and her turn had come. So he's saying: "O Aisha, I'm asking you for tonight — let me worship my Lord." And so she says in response:

"O Messenger of Allah, I love to be close to you, and I love what makes you happy." And so she describes that famous narration — he stood at night, he cried, and he cried in salah. And so she asked him, "Why do you do this?" And he said, "Should I not be a grateful slave?" But the point I wanted to share with you is when she says كُلُّ أَمْرِهِ كَانَ عَجَبًا — every aspect of his life was amazing.

Anas ibn Malik's Testimony

Anas ibn Malik رضي الله عنه — again, a servant of the Prophet of Allah ﷺ, a young man who was with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. He says:

"I served the Messenger of Allah ﷺ for ten years in Madinah — his entire time in Madinah — and I was a young man. I wouldn't do everything as he commanded me to do. The Prophet ﷺ would ask me to do certain things, and I'm a young guy — I wouldn't always do everything the way he asked me to."

But he says:

He never told me "uff" — not once. Never said, "Why did you do this?" Never said, "Why did you not do this?" Ten years serving the Messenger of Allah ﷺ as a servant.

Think about it — we don't have servants here, but maybe a maid comes to your house, or back home your extended family has maids or live-in servants, and think about how they're treated. Never once "uff." Never once "why did you do this?" He goes on — in another narration he says, if somebody from the Prophet's ﷺ household would criticize Anas, the Prophet ﷺ would say in response:

"Leave him alone. If it was written that it would have happened, it would have happened." Don't cry over spilled milk, as we say.

And SubhanAllah, Anas ibn Malik — narrating this about himself — he says one time, he first says about him: كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ مِنْ أَحْسَنِ النَّاسِ خُلُقًا — "He was the best, he had the best character." He says, "He sent me one day to go do something, to take care of something." And you know what Anas says in response?

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ says, "Go and do something for me." And he says, "I swear by Allah, I'm not going to go." Can you imagine? Not just a son saying it to a father, but a servant saying it to his master. Not just any servant to any master, but a servant saying it to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. And he says, in his mind he was telling himself he was going to go — but for some reason he just gave him a hard time and said he wouldn't go.

So he leaves. He says, "I go into the marketplace, and I pass by some children who are playing." So he stops to watch them — just like your son or daughter might do, just watching the kids play. Time goes by. And the Prophet ﷺ walks by and sees Anas — he had sent him some time ago to do whatever he told him to do. And so he grabs him from the back of his neck and says:

أُنَيْس is a loving way of saying Anas — "Unays, did you go where I told you to go?" And he says, "Yes, Messenger of Allah, I'm going to go right now. I'm going right now."

But the point being is — SubhanAllah — look at what Anas ibn Malik is describing as a servant of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. And when Aisha begins weeping and weeping, thinking about the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, when Anas thinks back to this — Imam Ahmad records in his book of hadith about Anas when he talks about the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. He was talking to the Tabi'een after the Messenger of Allah ﷺ passed away. And he says:

(Musnad Imam Ahmad)

He's talking about the Day of Judgment and he's saying, "I am hoping I'll be able to meet the Messenger of Allah ﷺ." That day when everybody is saying nafsi, nafsi, nafsi — everybody running from one another:

You'll be running away from your brother, your mother, your father, your wife, your children. Everybody running for themselves. And he's saying — I'm looking forward to that day when I can see the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, despite having told him وَاللَّهِ لَا أَذْهَبُ — and going to him and saying:

"O Messenger of Allah, I was just a small servant of yours. I was a servant of yours — just, hey, remember me."

The companions lived a life like that. Whoever the Prophet ﷺ met, he left such an incredible impact on their lives — a void that could not be filled by anything else.

The Ansari Man's Question

That's why one of the Ansari men, when he was with his family, remembered the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and thought about death and began crying, and he ran to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. He said, "O Messenger of Allah, when I think about you and I'm with my family, all I have to do is come and I can see you. And when I see you, the thirst — the thirst my eyes have for seeing you — is quenched. But when I think of my death and I think of your death, I realize that on the Day of Judgment you will be raised in the ranks of the Prophets and the Messengers. But I don't have the deeds of a Prophet or a Messenger. So I'm afraid that on the Day of Judgment, in the Akhirah, I won't be able to see you like I see you now in this dunya."

And so the Prophet ﷺ told him a verse that gave his heart comfort, and gives all of our hearts comfort:

Whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger ﷺ will be amongst those whom Allah has bestowed His favor upon — from the Prophets, and the Truthful, and the Righteous, and the Martyrs — and that is the best companionship. And that is the formula if we want to be with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, to experience that level of care and brotherhood that he showed to those closest to him and to those who weren't even closest to him. It's a simple equation:

"All of my ummah will enter Jannah except for those who refuse." They said, "O Messenger of Allah, who would refuse?" He said, "Whoever obeys me will enter Jannah, and whoever disobeys me has refused."

The Story of Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum

When you look into the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, there may come an example or a thought of someone who there may be some somewhat distance in the hearts — and that would be a man by the name of Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum. Because he was the one for whom Allah revealed the verses of Abasa wa Tawalla.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was talking to Utbah and Shaybah ibn Rabi'ah, two of the leaders of Quraysh — the biggest enemies of Islam, but also the leaders. Now, generally in the early days of Mecca, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ would never even be given an audience with these people. And now he has two of these leaders — and he's telling them about Islam and asking them, "Do you find anything wrong or distasteful in what I'm saying?" He's making progress — actually for the first time ever he's making progress with people who, not just their own Islam is important, but if they embrace Islam, you have a whole community of Mecca that will follow them. So this is a massive moment in the life of the Prophet ﷺ.

And they say — taking an oath by what is important to them — مَا أَرَى بِمَا تَقُولُ بَأْسًا — "We haven't found anything in what you say that is distasteful." This is a huge moment.

And here comes Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum, who is blind. He comes to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ — he's already Muslim — and he begins calling out to him, saying "Bring me close, bring me close." And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, at this critical moment making such progress, his forehead ruffled. Abasa in the Arabic language is translated as "frowned," but it's the least type of frown you can do — his forehead literally ruffled just a little, the least amount of discomfort you could show in your face. Wa tawalla — and he turned away from him and went back to the two people he was talking to.

Now, did the Prophet ﷺ do harm to Abdullah? Because he's blind — he neither saw this little ruffle of his forehead, nor did he see him turn away. No harm was done. But Allah revealed Surah Abasa about the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, recording this incident — kindly, gently, lovingly reminding the Prophet ﷺ about what he did that should not have been done:

But look at the relationship he then had with Abdullah ibn Umm Maktum after this. Whenever he would see him, he would say:

"Welcome, welcome to the one about whom my Lord rebuked me." And not just him — narrations say that Aisha had found Abdullah Maktum outside the house of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and Aisha is taking a fruit from that time — Utrujja it was called — and she's cutting it and dipping it in honey and giving it to Ibn Maktum to eat. And so a man asked Aisha, Ummul Mumineen: "Who is this blind man with you?" — not knowing who it was. And she said, "This is the one about whom Allah revealed verses censuring the Prophet ﷺ."

The love he had didn't just stay with him, but extended to his whole family. SubhanAllah. This is who he was ﷺ.

Striving Towards His Example

When we hear these stories, it is obviously incredibly difficult to live up to. But it's important to remind ourselves of the ideals that we should try and strive for. When Allah says:

"And indeed, you are upon the highest, most exalted character." إِنَّكَ is emphasis, لَ is emphasis, عَلَىٰ — you are on top of, you have mastered. You have mastered good character.

So we ask Allah to give us tawfiq — to be amongst those who not just follow the example of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, but follow every detail of his life. And to give us tawfiq to have حُسْنُ التِّبَاعِ — a beautiful following of his life. It is a difficult task because he was the best of creation and we are all human beings with different weaknesses. But it is an ideal we should strive towards.

May Allah make us amongst those who are kind and embody the character of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ — to our families, our friends, our environment, our masajids, our communities, and all who we interact with.

Indeed, Allah and His angels send blessings upon the Prophet ﷺ. O you who believe, send blessings upon him and salute him with all respect:

وَأَقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ