Striving to be better

The Spirit of Ramadan — Carrying It Forward

Ramadan is supposed to bring us that sense of life and relief — SubhanAllah — and once it's gone, you're on your own. Now brothers and sisters, this is why what we need to do after Ramadan is to strive to be better. This is it. You need to strive to be better. You need to live the spirit and the life of Ramadan even though Ramadan is not here anymore — the incentive, the gatherings, the beautiful reminders, all these sleepless nights and still you feel fatigued, sleep-deprived, and you're enjoying it. You're not complaining about it — you're enjoying it. SubhanAllah. Why is that? Because Ramadan is special. It brings that life, those beautiful spirits, those moments. SubhanAllah, what an unbelievable deen of Allah that we have, that we're blessed with — hearing an adhan, hearing a recitation of the Qur'an, or even staying up all night doing what? For the sake of Allah and to enjoy one of those beautiful spirits and moments of Ramadan. Wallahi, that's an act of ibadah.

Brothers and sisters, when Ramadan is gone, you're on your own — unless you keep living and reliving the moments of Ramadan throughout your day and night, inshAllah tabaraka wa ta'ala. In those moments, I would like to share with you something about the meaning of striving to be better even after the month of Ramadan.

The Promise of a Good Life

You see, alhamdulillah, Allah says:

Allah says that those who do good — men and women — means you, in this life. If you do good in this world, man or woman, male or female, falanuhiyyannahu hayatan tayyibah — We shall reward him with a good life. Now before Ramadan we had a different lifestyle. The first few days of Ramadan maybe it was difficult and hard, but SubhanAllah, as you go through the month and you continue fasting and coming to the masjid and meeting more people and you start practicing the good deeds — that's why by the end of the month of Ramadan I had so many people coming and crying. Others were asking and begging: "Could you guys please continue the last nights? Can we make this every month? Can you do this every week?" Everybody wants to continue with the good deeds that they enjoyed experiencing during the month of Ramadan.

That is the good. That's an example Allah is giving as proof and evidence — even if it was a preview — that if you maintain such a very good lifestyle for one month, you can imagine if you continue with this for the entire year. Imagine if you do this for a lifetime. You will have a good life, and I guarantee it. If you do it right, with the right intentions, you will have a good life. That's what Allah promised. And they shall get their reward in the Day of Judgment for the best of what they've done. So not just in this dunya you get your reward — even in the akhira.

Mujāhadah al-Nafs — Striving to Improve Yourself

Brothers and sisters, this is what we need to do: striving to be better. In Arabic we call it mujāhadatun nafs — which means to strive to improve yourself, constantly and continuously. Is there a beginning for this? Is there an end to it? Absolutely not. From the moment you're born until you die, you're going to continue to strive to make yourself better.

I know a lot of people in Ramadan, alhamdulillah, they set goals for themselves — may Allah bless them. I hope you surpass all your beautiful goals. Others struggled with them. But here's the most important thing: those goals need to keep getting higher and higher every single day, every single month. What does that mean? Every single day you need to feel, "I am becoming better than I was yesterday." You no longer compete with your brothers and sisters and with your friends and the company you went with for taraweeh and stood for hours in line just to get into the masjid.

SubhanAllah, brothers and sisters — wallahi, that's a phenomenon I've never seen anywhere. Can you imagine people standing in line outside the masjid door for hours just to enter? Where do you see this? People stand in line for merchandise; they camp outside of stores to get something from this dunya. But to find people standing in line so they can get into the masjid — what a blessing, what a worthy cause to strive for. To be coming into the masjid, the house of Allah. Don't stop striving for this. Don't let these lines disappear. You still need to strive and come to the masjid, even if you have to stand in line, until you get your opportunity to get in, inshAllah tabaraka wa ta'ala.

The Three Types of Nafs

Do not stop striving to become better. Our nafs, my dear brothers and sisters — there are three types of them, as Allah mentioned in the Qur'an. When Allah spoke about our nufus (souls), He named three different types.

1. Al-Nafs al-Ammārah bil-Sū' — The Commanding Self

In the story of Yusuf, peace be upon him, when the lady confessed about what she did, what did she say? Inna al-nafsa la-ammāratun bil-sū' — that my nafs is a commanding self, meaning it is constantly nagging you. Now here's the thing: it could nag you to do something bad, or it could inspire you to do something good. The choice is yours.

We talked about this in Ramadan — this is what you call the algorithm of your nafs. If you keep browsing something good, it will start suggesting more good to you. As the Prophet, peace be upon him, mentioned:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 4949; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2647)

"Do deeds, for Allah will facilitate for everyone what he was created for." So if you choose to do good, your nafs gets used to it and starts desiring more of it. The algorithm will keep suggesting good to you. But if you start doing bad, it's going to suggest what? More bad.

Now I ask you: look at your history of browsing in the past two days since Ramadan ended. What have you been browsing in your life — and I'm not just talking about your phones. I'm talking about your life. What have you been browsing in terms of deeds? Are you now adding something good to it, or otherwise your nafs will continue to command you, will continue to nag you, to inspire you, or to whisper to you? The choice is yours. What do you want the next step from your nafs to be? Do you want it to push you to do better and strive to become better, or do you want it to act the other way around?

2. Al-Nafs al-Lawwāmah — The Self-Blaming Soul

The accusatory nafs — it keeps blaming you and keeps guilt-tripping you. SubhanAllah, for some, that guilt-tripping is for a good reason: when you do something bad, it tells you, "Are you serious? Why did you do this?" For others — Allahumma sta'in — when they miss a bad opportunity, it says, "Are you serious? How could you let that go?" What kind of blaming does your nafs do for you? Is it guilt-tripping you for doing something bad and missing an opportunity to do good, or for missing an opportunity on something bad?

For example — alhamdulillah rabbil alameen — we've been praying Fajr regularly. Now how often are we going to continue with that? How far are we going to go? Right now in the summer, especially when Fajr becomes earlier and earlier — that is now the testament that you're improving and striving for your better self. Accept the challenge. Accept the challenge and say, "You know what, inshAllah, that's going to be on time every single day."

Isha — before Ramadan, we were struggling to come once a month. "I have other things, other obligations, I'm busy with this, busy with that." Now all of a sudden you come every single night, and not just to pray for 10 minutes and leave. No — you stay for an hour, an hour and a half. How come you find the time now? SubhanAllah — so convenient all of a sudden. Because the nafs had the environment, and it was telling you to be there. But now, once you cease doing that, you go back to your old habits, and the nafs is going to continue to blame you for doing this or that.

3. Al-Nafs al-Mutma'innah — The Peaceful and Tranquil Soul

Peaceful and tranquil — that peaceful and tranquil nafs is all what we strive for, my dear brothers and sisters. We spoke about this in the month of Ramadan. We said: you will only find peace when you find certainty. And that certainty was never guaranteed for you in this dunya — it was guaranteed in the akhira. The only certainty you have here is that Allah promised He will test you. And since everything is a test, I am so certain that Allah will have something better for me in this. So always find peace and tranquility even in the face of adversity.

Brothers and sisters, accept the challenge. Find peace and tranquility where Allah promised you will find it, when He says:

He says: those who believe and whose hearts find peace and tranquility through the remembrance of Allah — verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace and tranquility. Their hearts will always find peace and tranquility through the remembrance of Allah, even in the face of calamities.

Wallahi, our brothers and sisters in Gaza are the testament for this today. They are a living example. With all that they go through — including on Eid day, when the occupation deliberately never allowed them to have a single day of peace, not even one day — they kept on targeting innocent people, children, women, and everybody there. SubhanAllah. Why? Because they knew they didn't want to give them that peace. Yet you still hear the people coming out, still having that iman in their hearts. May Allah bless them and protect them, ya Allah.

Living Ramadan After Ramadan

Brothers and sisters, now Ramadan is over. That environment that, alhamdulillah, inspired us to do well is no longer there on a regular basis. But you can — you can live it. You can live it on your own. I'm speaking to myself before anybody else.

Just like Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: when the Messenger of Allah came to Medina, it was shining throughout the whole city — the streets, the homes, the conversations, the people's lives. And when the Prophet, peace be upon him, passed away, it became dark, and everybody felt that kind of emptiness in their hearts.

For me, Ramadan — when Ramadan came, there was a moment of excitement, yes, but also an anxiety about how we're going to do it this year. But SubhanAllah, as it went by, until we got to the last ten nights — what a beautiful time. You don't want it to stop. But now that it's gone — because it's reality — how is your heart feeling about this? Do you go back again to that sense of loneliness? "I don't have that same environment to excite me to come back to the masjid and spend all these hours and nights."

Don't let Shaytan fool you and deceive you, my dear brothers and sisters. I want you to remember this: when it comes to change, it's not an event — it's a process. Change is not a one-time thing. It's not a one-month experience. It's a process. What does that mean? You are always changing. Don't fool yourself. But whether we are changing by improving to become better — or changing the other way around — you choose. What kind of change do you want? But change is always there. It's a process.

When Ramadan started, the change started as well. That change was forced upon us, by the way. Ramadan is there — you have no choice, you have to abstain from eating and drinking. And then you start choosing to do something different: come to the masjid, read Qur'an, do this, do that. You make your own choices. But Ramadan created the environment for you. That process never ceases to exist even after Ramadan is gone. You can still continue with that, inshAllah tabaraka wa ta'ala.

May Allah guide our hearts to that which is most pleasing to Him, our Lord of all the worlds, and give us the ability to strive to become better, ya Rabb al-'alamin. And we ask Allah to make us among those who will have that peaceful and tranquil nafs in this dunya and the akhira.

The Four Steps to Self-Improvement — Ibn al-Qayyim's Framework

My dear brothers and sisters — how can I start? Where do I need to begin? Imam Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, shared with us four steps of striving and self-improvement. What do I need to do?

Step 1: Al-'Ilm — Knowledge

The first step is to learn — ilm. Ta'allam al-huda — you need to look and seek knowledge. If you want to be guided, you need to know how. So you're going to need to learn. How do you guide yourself after Ramadan is gone? Ask yourself the question: where are you going to find that guidance? Are you going to find it online? Are you going to find it at home? Are you going to find it in the masjid and good company, or with old friends? You choose where you will find guidance. That is number one.

Step 2: Al-'Amal — Acting Upon the Knowledge

Number two: al-'amal bi dhālikal huda — once you know what is right, you start acting upon it. "I know I need to come to the masjid — that's how I felt better. So I need to come more frequently. I need to wake up. I need to abstain from this and stay away from that." You learn, and you practice. That is al-'amal.

Step 3: Improving the World Around You

The third thing he says: now that you know it and you act upon it, you need to improve and change the world around you — that environment, your friends, your family. Invite them to do better as well. Since you're improving, make sure to improve everybody with you. Don't just go ahead and leave the people behind you — they might pull you down. So you do your best, and if the people around you don't want to improve with you, then you're going to have to make very difficult and sharp decisions with your friends. But eventually, you're going to have to improve altogether.

Step 4: Al-Sabr — Patience in the Process

And the fourth one he says: you're going to have to learn to be patient — patient in the process. It doesn't come easy. It doesn't come overnight. It's a process. And you're going to have to learn to be patient. How would you do that if you don't have the right company around you? If you don't have the proper knowledge? And if you don't have the constant, consistent practice of what you've learned?

These are the four steps. I want you to learn them: to learn what is good, to act upon it, to invite those around you, and to be patient in the process of doing this, inshAllah.