The Qur'an against Chronic Psychological Stress

The Qur'an Against Chronic Psychological Stress

When Allah blesses somebody with wealth and khairat and mercy, what do they say? Allah is honoring me, is blessing me. But when Allah removes that as a test for them, what do they say? Allah is humiliating me. Why is He doing this to me? We stress out immediately. Immediately. We just forgot about all these ni'ma and khairat. And that moment of stress or that test actually made us forget about all these good days and good times.

Allah says, if we bless someone with mercy and rahma and khairat, and then Allah chooses to take it away from them, again, as a test, they are despairing, being ungrateful. Immediately, we stress out about it. Oh my God, why now? What's going to happen tomorrow? We always stress about these matters.

And the ayat are many in the Qur'an in which Allah is showing us the nature of mankind. How quickly we forget about the blessings of Allah — that we're willing to go into so much psychological stress that becomes chronic stress, to the extent of damaging our iman even. How many times have we seen people, in a moment of stress as they go through a trial, say: Why me? Coming to conclusions under stress.

How many people realize that stress in this life is part of living? So there is no way of removing it completely and altogether, unless you follow the formula that was mentioned in the Qur'an on how to relieve yourself from that stress. I want to share with you, insha'Allah, from the wisdom of the Qur'an, the book of Allah, a few steps — the ingredients that would help us live outside of that stress. Because, alhamdulillah, even during trials, even during calamities — such as what's happening to our brothers and sisters in Gaza, may Allah make it easier for them, Ya Rabbil 'Alamin — a lot of us feel so much, emotionally entangled, that we feel completely hopeless and helpless. We feel we can't do anything. But we need to remove that stress so we can think straight, so we can do something and help.

The Story of Ya'qub: A Lesson in Surviving Grief

So how can we do this? Allah mentioned to us a beautiful story in the Qur'an. We all love that story — Surah Yusuf. Surah Yusuf: one of the most beautiful surahs of the Qur'an, a beautiful story of the Qur'an. But it wasn't mentioned just for the purpose of learning about the history of the family and what happened between him and his brothers. That's not the purpose. Allah says there is ibrah — there is a reminder, there are lessons in that surah for us. And one of these lessons we learn is how to handle stress.

One of the most stressful moments in the surah — not related to Yusuf himself — is related to his father, Ya'qub. Ya'qub, a father of all these children, a household of prophethood. And he now has to deal with his children almost killing their brother. Can you imagine a father having to deal with that, let alone a prophet? Face the people — everybody knows that his kids did this to his son. Can you imagine that?

And Ya'qub alayhi as-salam was a human being after all. He was affected by that — affected deeply. He was stressed out. Yet he managed to keep his understanding of what was happening. So he's always carrying this grief. His brothers came years later, and as a father he says: Oh my God, what happened to Yusuf? All these years, he was grieving for his son — feeling as if he had not been there for him in that moment.

And things extended even further when the children said: We have to take our younger brother, Binyamin, to Egypt, because we have to prove that we have a brother whom we are collecting food for. And he said: Do you promise me that you're not going to do to him what you did to your brother Yusuf? They said: You have our word. They took him to Egypt — and they came back without him.

Now, can you imagine the stress that Ya'qub alayhi as-salam had to go through in that moment? Allah tells us:

His eyes turned white from grief. This grief — it is a psychological grief, subhanAllah. It went from thinking about it, to feeling it, all the way until it physiologically affected his sight. He lost his sight out of grief. But we know that at the end of the story, out of happiness and joy, that same intense moment of grief was replaced with an intense moment of joy that brought his sight back to him, subhanAllah.

But in that moment, grief was overtaking Ya'qub alayhi as-salam. And what did he say about it?

"I only disclose my grief and sorrow to Allah."

And he also said:

Sabrun jameel — beautiful patience will be my way of dealing with this. WaAllahu al-musta'an — and I seek assistance from Allah for everything that is going on. And he told his children:

"Do not despair of the mercy of Allah." Go look for them again, please. Go look for Yusuf and his brother. Even going through so much grief, he is still thinking about the mercy of Allah.

Brothers and sisters, so what really helped Ya'qub to survive that intense grief — grief that even made him lose his sight? There is no doubt: it was his patience, his understanding, his commitment to his faith, to Allah. And I want to share with you, insha'Allah, from these ayat, what exactly helped Ya'qub alayhi as-salam survive that intense grief.

For us, we need our minds to be clear, my dear brothers and sisters. Escaping reality by going through intense grief — using it to excuse ourselves from taking action, whether to alleviate a personal grief or an ummah grief — that cannot be accepted as an excuse. We need to clear our minds. Our minds need to be clear. Our hearts need to be clear and need to be strong. So let's learn from the Qur'an how we can remove that grief and sorrow that makes us feel hopeless and helpless, so we can do the right thing, insha'Allah.

Four Steps to Overcoming Stress

Step One: Al-Sabr Al-Jameel — Beautiful Patience

What we learn from Ya'qub alayhi as-salam is al-sabr al-jameel — most beautiful patience. The ulema try to define what beautiful patience means. They give beautiful definitions — like, you hold on to your reason without complaining. But the most beautiful one is: you seek assistance from Allah. Patience is when you seek assistance from Allah, not from the people, not from anybody else. So in a moment like this, we always go back to Allah.

As he said: fa-sabrun jameel, wallahu al-musta'an — beautiful patience will be my way of dealing with this pain, and I seek assistance from Allah for everything that is going around. He is making it very clear: I'll be patient, and I ask Allah's assistance to go through this.

So, my dear brothers and sisters, the first thing we need to think about is: is your patience being beautiful or not? Because if you're saying you're patient but you're still complaining, that is not beautiful patience. No — you truly believe that this is a trial, and you have to seek the assistance of Allah.

Step Two: Husnul Dhann Billah — Having Good Assumption About Allah

When Ya'qub alayhi as-salam was dealing with what he was dealing with, what was he saying?

"Allah is the best of preservers, and He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy." Allah is khayrun hafidhan — He is the One who has the best hifdh. Preservation and protection come from Allah. And He is arhamur rahimin — He is the Most Merciful. Like, he was going through the pain of losing his child and dealing with the other children every single day, knowing what they had done. Through all that pain, he says: Allah will preserve me, Allah will protect them, because He is the Most Merciful.

He had husnul dhann — he knew this was coming from Allah and he wanted Allah's mercy. He even said, in a moment like that:

"I still have hope that Allah will bring them all back to me." He still had hope that Allah would reunite him with them — which happened at the end of the story. But how many people, in a situation with no clear outcome, can still have hope in Allah?

Husnul dhann billah, my dear brothers and sisters. We know the pain of the ummah is so great. We are bleeding in so many places — not just in Gaza, wallahi: in India, the Rohingya, everywhere in the world, subhanAllah. So many wounds. But we have hope in Allah that He will reunite us all back together. Always have good assumption about Allah, because Allah does not do anything randomly.

Step Three: Increase Your Knowledge of Allah — His Names and Attributes

To achieve husnul dhann, you have to increase your knowledge about Allah — especially His beautiful names and attributes. What does that mean? Allah says in the context of Surah Yusuf:

"Indeed, your Lord is All-Knowing, All-Wise." If Allah knows what is happening to you, then it is part of His wisdom that He is testing you with that. So it is not random. So instead of fighting it — why is this, why is that — I ask Allah:

Ya Mu'allima Dawud, allimni — wa ya Mufahhima Sulaiman, fahhimni. You are the One who taught Dawud that knowledge — I ask You for that knowledge. You gave Sulaiman the understanding — I ask You for the understanding.

In a moment of stress, instead of fighting: Ya Rabbi, I might not know why this is happening to me. Why this happened to the people of Gaza. Why we are in this situation. I need to know who Allah is. And His hikmah — His wisdom — can alleviate so much of that suffering, because I know nothing happened randomly, and Allah has a reason for this.

Even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in a du'a:

(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 2803; also reported in similar wording in other collections)

"Get to know Allah in times of prosperity, and Allah will know you in times of hardship." So in times of prosperity, in good times, get close to Allah. He will recognize you. He will know you. He will be there for you in times of hardship and difficulty.

But so many of us, in times of ease, we procrastinate. We always push back taking action. And the more we keep procrastinating, the less likely we'll be able to accomplish anything — and the harder it becomes even to accomplish. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam described this in a very beautiful way. He said that procrastination is like a tree growing right in front of you. You want to take it out because it's blocking your sight and your life. But then you say: You know what, I'll leave it for now. I'll come back later. And you come back the next year — do you think it's going to be easier to take it out? The longer you wait, the stronger that tree will become, and the harder it will be to remove it. So you need to be swift. You need to be disciplined as a believer.

Our deen is all about discipline. You fast as an act of discipline. You pray regularly for discipline. Everything we do is about discipline. You need to be disciplined. Don't procrastinate, my dear brothers and sisters.

Step Four: Connect with the Qur'an Daily

And the last step — as we have seen from this example from the Qur'an — the Qur'an is full of wisdom. Allah sent us the Qur'an not just for the barakah of reading it, but also as a roadmap, a way of living. So, my dear brothers and sisters, take some time — every single day — even if it is reflecting on one single ayah. It is very important that we connect with the Qur'an. No matter how busy your day is, have some connection with the book of Allah. Understand one single ayah. Apply it into your life.

I say this and ask Allah's forgiveness for me and for you and for the Muslims. Ask His forgiveness — indeed, He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.

Winning the Trial, Not Just Surviving It

My dear brothers and sisters, I want to remind myself and remind each one of us that trials will always exist. That is the destiny of this life. As Allah says:

"We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth, lives, and fruits — and give glad tidings to the patient."

So it's not really about surviving. It's about winning it. That's what I need to keep in my mind. Surviving the trial means: I'm still breathing, I'm still living, I'm still going through — I'm not complaining, but I'm not doing anything positive either. That's not winning it. You need to win it.

Our job is not to succumb to grief and go into desperation and lose hope. That's not it. Our role and our duty is to win it — by entering the garden of patience, having good assumption about Allah, having certainty that Allah is Al-'Alim, Al-Hakim — the All-Knowing, the All-Wise. This is happening for a reason. I need to understand Allah's plan for me. Because maybe Allah's plan for you is grand, and what you're just going through is a small thing in the greater scheme of things.

The Du'a of the Prophet Against Stress and Grief

To help us, remember this du'a from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He used to say:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6369)

"O Allah, I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from laziness and being unable to do things, from miserliness and cowardice, and from the burden of heavy debt and from being overpowered by people."