The Superiority of a Simple Nikah

The Superiority of a Simple Nikah

Respected brothers, elders and sisters in Islam.

Allah has created insan — humans — and He has also created needs for them. And as much as needs insan has, Allah has also given them the methods to fulfill those needs.

Simplicity is Part of Faith

There is one hadith which Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه narrates. The Prophet of Allah told Abu Dharr that, "O Abu Dharr, as far as your needs are concerned, as far as your necessities are concerned, as an insan, as a human being, as a mortal, then remember the following hadith:"

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 4161)

He said — three times — "O Abu Dharr, if you want to live a life how Allah and His Rasul want, then remember this one hadith: simplicity is part of iman, simplicity is part of iman, simplicity is part of iman."

When we closely study the lives of the Sahaba رضي الله عنهم, we find that simplicity was found in their lives to the maximum. They were not only simple people perhaps when they went to Hajj. They were not only simple people when a funeral took place. They were simple people in every occasion, at every time, in every place.

And today I wish to highlight one of the places in which simplicity has been ignored to a very high extent — and that is the occasion of Nikah. How important it is to be simple, what role does Islam play in Nikah, how much simplicity there should be — and today, what do we find?

The Nikah with the Most Barakah

The Prophet of Allah said in a clear hadith:

"If you want to ask me which Nikah constitutes the most barakah — if you want to ask the Prophet of Allah, 'Tell us, O Rasul of Allah, which Nikah has the most barakah as far as it sustains the children and the relation between the two spouses?' — the Prophet of Allah said: aysaruhu ma'unah — the Nikah that has the least cost, the least expenses, has the most barakah in it."

A hadith so important — a hadith so important — that we need to remind ourselves of this every day. The Prophet of Allah said that the Nikah which constitutes the most barakah is the one which has the least cost. If we could only bring this into our lives, I swear by Allah, half of our problems will be solved.

Because if we look at it, we are exerting our money, our finances — problems from the financial perspective — and because the Prophet of Allah's sunnah was ignored, there is also no peace and no love in the relation. O my Ummah, remember that the Nikah which constitutes the most barakah is the one that has the least expense, the least cost.

When we study the life of the Prophet of Allah and even the Sahaba, we see how simple their marriages and their Nikah was. I wish to highlight a few examples from the life of the Prophet of Allah and even from the Sahaba, so that we understand how important it is to revive this dead sunnah. Because it is a sunnah — undoubtedly Nikah is a sunnah — but then we forgot the other portion of it, that simplicity plays a huge role in it. So we are more worried about the wedding and not about the marriage.

The Example of Bilal

Bilal رضي الله عنه goes to propose to his prospective father-in-law. How do you introduce yourself? How do you portray yourself in front of a family, in front of prospective in-laws? He goes with his brother and he knocks on the door. And he says:

"I am Bilal, my name is Bilal, and this is my brother. We are two slaves from Habshah, from Abyssinia."

Understand what he is saying. Digest what he is saying. He is highlighting a part of his life which perhaps we would not. We would ideally ignore that part of our life. Every fault we have, we would like to keep it a secret.

"We were slaves, but Allah chose to liberate us. We were astray, we were misguided, we were deviant." Again, he is highlighting every single part. He is being transparent in this relation. "However, Allah chose to guide us. If you choose to wed us your daughter, then alhamdulillah. And if you choose to decline, then Allah is sufficient."

This is pretty much what his CV or his bio-data was — nothing more than that. Six or seven lines. My name is Bilal, this is my brother, we come from Habshah, Allah liberated us, we were deviant, Allah guided us. If you wish to wed us, then that is good; if not, then Allah is sufficient.

The Example of Abdurrahman ibn Awf

We find Abdurrahman ibn Awf رضي الله عنه — one of the Asharah Mubasharah, a man who was given glad tidings of Jannah in this very world, and a very successful businessman. He was from Makkah. Then comes the era of Hijrah. Abdurrahman ibn Awf does Hijrah and he migrates to Madinah.

The Prophet of Allah paired all the muhajireen with an ansar. So Abdurrahman ibn Awf, being a muhajireen and an immigrant, was also paired with one ansari sahabi. The ansar took care of the muhajireen just like brothers — even greater than that, far greater than what a brother would take care of his brother.

The ansari told Abdurrahman ibn Awf: "O my brother, you come from Makkah, a foreign land. You are most welcome into my house. I have two orchards — whichever one you want, I will give to you. I have two spouses — whichever one you like, I will divorce her and I will wed you to her."

Abdurrahman ibn Awf says: "May Allah reward you for your ikram and for your honor. Just show me where the marketplace is. Where is the bazaar? Where are the shops?"

This ansari shows him the way. Abdurrahman ibn Awf, having all the skills and qualities of a businessman — he had only brought a few dinars with him from Makkah. Only a few dinars. He goes, he buys something, he sells; buys something, he sells; buys something, he sells — until the hadith says that he accumulated enough money to pay mahr. In what span? In years? In decades? No — in one day. He had just barely arrived in Madinah. He goes to the market, does business, accumulates enough money to pay the mahr, finds a woman, proposes, and the Nikah is done.

Abdurrahman ibn Awf then comes to the Prophet. The Prophet of Allah looks at him and notices some yellowness on his clothes — on his chest. This was among the Arabs a sign and a custom of Nikah. The Prophet of Allah asked:

"O Abdurrahman, did you get married?" Abdurrahman ibn Awf said yes. The Prophet of Allah then told him:

"O Abdurrahman, give waleemah even if it be one goat. Invite people to your waleemah even if it be one goat."

Now observe what is going on here. Digest what is being said here. Abdurrahman ibn Awf is in Madinah. The Prophet of Allah is also in Madinah. Abdurrahman goes all by himself — he is a grown man, an adult — and then he does his own Nikah. He does not worry about calling the Prophet of Allah. He is not worried about these formalities. The Prophet of Allah is present in Madinah — not in a different country, not in a different state, not somewhere in a remote area — he is in the same city.

Abdurrahman ibn Awf does not bother calling the Prophet of Allah, because he knows that this plays no role in Nikah. He understands that. Otherwise, how would he be from the Asharah Mubasharah? If we understand better than him, then we should have been from the ten Asharah Mubasharah.

Now look at what is happening today. Just because of my uncle and my aunt and my friend — because they need to attend — and he is still in school and we are waiting for everyone's vacation, I am delaying it and delaying it. Where does this come into the picture? How does this play anything in Islam?

Abdurrahman is not bothered to call who? The greatest human being. Is the Prophet of Allah offended? Did he say, "Abdurrahman, how dare you not call me?" He never said anything like that. And now we take offense on that. Where did this become part of Islam?

Now we have become such a sensitive community that in places and occasions where we were supposed to take offense, we don't take offense. And in places and occasions where we were not supposed to take offense, we take offense. My wife doesn't wake me up for Fajr salah — "Oh no, she is a good woman. She doesn't want to bother me." We were supposed to take offense there! Why didn't you wake me up for the prayer? Why didn't you remind me for the prayer? But we are fine with that. But as soon as someone didn't invite me to his Nikah or her Nikah — "You didn't invite me! How insulting. How insulting."

The Prophet of Allah was never offended. He never said anything more than: "O Abdurrahman, just give waleemah even if it be with a sheep or a goat." We need to differentiate what is custom and what is religion. We need to differentiate what is culture and what is Islam. And until we don't do that, we are going to live a miserable life — financially, spiritually, and from the dunya perspective as well. From every perspective, we will suffer.

The Example of Salman al-Farsi

Salman al-Farsi رضي الله عنه gets married in Kindah, a city in Yemen. He goes to now stay with his wife for the first time ever. The Nikah is done. He now finally moves into the house. As he goes to the house, he sees there are so many people there — a party going on, so many wedding gifts, and the rest of it as it happens today.

Now, before I mention what Salman al-Farsi said, we need to ask ourselves an important question: Is it every single time we happen to dislike something, we simply brush it off by saying, "That was a time and this is a time. That was practiced in the Prophet of Allah's time. Today we are living in a modern era. We cannot do that." Every single time we dislike something, how do we brush it off? How do we tuck it under the carpet? "No, the time was different. Our time is different." How long are we going to continue doing that?

Every time I dislike something — "No, that was something of that era. Our era is a new era" — as though our era is anything better than theirs. How could it be any better? Every single Friday it is read:

"O my Ummah, remember: my century is the best." So how do we have the guts to say, "That's a different era, a different society, a different community — we are living in the era of science and technology"? No, we don't need to defend ourselves. We don't need to brush off the topic in that manner every time we dislike it.

And the second fundamental thing we need to ask ourselves: How long am I going to disobey Allah just to please humans? How long am I going to anger my Rabb? How long am I going to disobey Him just to please people, just to please the society's norm, just to please my friends and my peers? The society will say, "What a simple and what a cheap Nikah he had." How long will I displease my Allah just to please people?

If a person does that, then I can assure you that that relation and that act will come back and haunt you. Any time a servant displeases Allah to please people, that will come back — it will fire back and it will haunt him. It's going to come back sooner or later. But any time you displease people just to please Allah, then a time will come when Allah will soften their hearts and you will see the relation improve by time.

So Salman al-Farsi رضي الله عنه goes and he sees all of this decoration and all these gifts and all these other things going on. What does he say? He says:

"Take no offense, but I have a question for you. Is your house suffering from a fever that you have clad it in this manner? Or has this become the new Ka'bah — and from Makkah the Ka'bah has now moved to Kindah? My bosom friend" — referring to the Prophet of Allah — "never advised me of this. My bosom friend never told me to do this."

Salman is that individual about whom the Prophet of Allah said, "Salman is part of my family from the Ahlul Bayt." He also said that if there is someone whom Jannah anticipates for his entry, then Salman is one of them — that we anticipate to enter Jannah, but Salman is that individual that Jannah anticipates his entry. And with such pain, he says: "Simplicity — my bosom friend never told me of this. Where did you get this from?"

Simplicity in Nikah constitutes the most barakah in that. The more simple it is, the less expenses there are, the more barakah it has.

The Nikah of Fatimah — The Queen of Jannah

Look at the Prophet of Allah — how simple his daughter Fatimah's marriage was. She is 14 or 15 years of age. Abu Bakr comes and proposes. The Prophet of Allah looks down — he doesn't say anything — which was basically an indication of no. The Prophet of Allah never said no in his life openly. The poet said that the Prophet of Allah never said la — "no" — in his life, besides in Tashahud; besides when saying the Kalimah, even that would have been a positive answer. So the Prophet of Allah looked down, which Abu Bakr understood as a no.

Umar رضي الله عنه comes — he didn't say anything. Then comes Ali رضي الله عنه to propose — he is 21 years of age. The Prophet of Allah said, "O Ali, wait — let me speak to Fatimah." And he speaks to her with a beautiful etiquette; an etiquette where in many of our conservative cultures we don't happen to ask our daughters. A proposal comes and we simply say the Nikah is done, without asking their permission. So he asks for permission from Fatimah.

Then he says to Ali: "O Ali, pay mahr." Ali says: "I don't have anything besides this shield. I have nothing besides this shield." The Prophet of Allah says: "Go and sell it, and whatever money you gain from it — that will be the mahr of Fatimah."

He goes to the bazaar, to the market, and is trying to sell his shield. There is Uthman رضي الله عنه doing business. Uthman says: "O Ali, where are you going? What are you doing here?" "I proposed to the Prophet of Allah's daughter and he told me I should sell this shield of mine and pay it as mahr." Uthman said: "I'll buy it from you." He gives him 450 dirhams — which is not more than $2,000 if you were to convert it today. Uthman buys it for that amount, gives the money to him, and then says: "O Ali, you're getting married — you may need something. Just keep the shield for yourself."

Ali رضي الله عنه goes and appreciates Uthman. He goes and says: "O Prophet of Allah, this is the mahr." And the Nikah is done — simply in the masjid, without any formal announcement, without any cards, without all these lavish things that go on. There were a few Sahaba, and the Prophet of Allah said: "O my Sahaba, come — I am about to wed my daughter Fatimah to Ali."

How surprising it is. The Prophet of Allah said that Fatimah is the queen of Jannah. Today we want our daughter's Nikah to be far greater and to excel the Nikah of the queen of Jannah. In every khutbah you hear, it is said that Fatimah is the queen of Jannah. And O my Ummah, this is the Nikah of the queen of Jannah. Today we are living in an era where we want to do much more than what the queen of Jannah did.

Starting a Marriage in Debt

How sad it is that many of our Nikahs start on debt. It starts on credit. Why in the world did we have to make it so expensive? Why couldn't we take into consideration the hadith of the Prophet that the Nikah that has the least expense, the least cost, is the one that has the most barakah? Forty, fifty thousands of dollars — people go into debt just to pay off the costs of Nikah.

And the Prophet of Allah was that individual who — after every single fard salah — would say:

(Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 1555)

"O Allah, I ask Your protection from dain — from credit, from debt." Something which the Prophet of Allah is asking refuge from after every single fard salah is what we do every single day — if not every hour and second. Such a blessed union starting on debt. The basis of a relation starting on something which the Prophet of Allah sought protection from. How is that going to flourish? How is that going to succeed?

The Prophet of Allah is saying, أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الدَّيْنِ — "O Allah, I ask Your protection from debt." And we are starting this blessed union on dain. What need was there?

Forgive me if I come across as harsh. But there are so many things happening. Now there is a new trend — because of ignoring the Prophet of Allah's sunnah — and there is nothing wrong with it; I am not saying anything is wrong. But because we have ignored his sunnah, look at what solutions we have had to come up with. Many times you find the family getting two of their children married at once so that the cost is now reduced. That's fine — there is nothing wrong with that. But I'm saying: why did we have to resolve to that? It was because there are so much expenses in Nikah. The Prophet of Allah cut that from the root and said: have less cost in your Nikah, and the lesser it is, the more barakah there is.

The Example of Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib

Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib — who was the greatest tabi'i — had a student whose name was Abu Wada'ah. Abu Wada'ah missed a few days of his sheikh's lessons. Then after a week or two, he attends the lesson of his sheikh. The sheikh — Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib, who saw the Sahaba — asks him: "O Abu Wada'ah, where were you?" He said: "O teacher, O my mentor, O sheikh, my wife passed away so I was busy with burying her and the rituals of janazah."

Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib says: "O my student, you should have informed me so perhaps we could have helped you." He says: "No, it's fine. Everything is taken care of now." And then Abu Wada'ah says: "I was just about to stand up. My sheikh said, 'Just sit for a minute. Hold on one minute.'" Until everyone left, and then it was just him and his teacher.

So his teacher asks him: "O Abu Wada'ah, have you given this a thought — about remarrying again? Have you ever thought about marrying again?" Abu Wada'ah says: "My wife just passed away one week or two weeks ago. And O my teacher, who is going to marry me? If you look into my pockets, you will find at most two dirhams."

He says: "I will wed you my daughter." So transparent, so honest, so simple.

Abu Wada'ah says: "I lost my balance. I started to stutter. Do you mean you will marry me your daughter?" He said: "Yes." And then Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib explains why:

"Our Prophet said: whenever a proposal comes to you and you see that the boy's akhlaq and his deen are upright, then get him married. If you don't do it, there will be great and widespread corruption on earth. Whenever any proposal comes to you and the two criteria are met — the akhlaq is good and the deen is also good — then get him married. If you don't do it, there will be huge and widespread fitna on earth. And you, O Abu Wada'ah, you meet both criteria. You meet both of the requirements."

So simple it was. So blessed it was.

Conclusion

We need to remind ourselves of this hadith again, which I said in the beginning:

The Nikah that constitutes the most barakah is the one that has the least cost. May Allah give us the ability to practice on what was said. Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.

Announcements

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Tonight will be our monthly seminar covering the Islamic guidance of divorce and its legalities, with Mufti ibn Hajar al-Din and attorney Naveed Hussain. The program will begin after Isha at 7:30. Everyone is requested to attend. It is a very important seminar — not just for those who are married, but for unmarried people as well. There are cases where people say things and get a divorce unintentionally. This seminar will cover those topics and how to safeguard our marriages.

Secondly, our annual three-day retreat will be coming up. As mentioned last week, it will take place from April 15th to April 17th. The title is Faith Amidst Turbulence: Calibrating Our Compass in Contemporary Times. We have many speakers coming from out of town.

There are only a few spots left in our Umrah group with our teachers Mufti Azim al-Din, Mufti ibn Hajar al-Din, and Mufti Azaz. They will be taking an Umrah group with lectures every day as well as a detailed historical tour from the seerah. Cards are available in the back with more information.

Lastly, Rahmatiya Alam Foundation — or the Sharia Board as we know them — will be having their fundraiser on April 9th. They are selling tickets in the lobby today. The fundraiser will be held at Monty Elegant Banquet Halls. They are very active in Chicago — they have a full-time madrasah for 'alim students and hifz students, as well as secular education from preschool to kindergarten. They deliver fatwas regularly, have a zakat program, do halal certifications, and provide many other social services. They purchased their current property for $2.2 million and only have $450,000 left to pay off. Please donate generously on your way out and purchase tickets for the fundraiser. JazakAllah khayr, wa assalamu alaykum.