True Brotherhood

True Brotherhood

Brothers and sisters in Islam, today our khutbah is about true brotherhood. And we'll begin with the verse from Surah Al-Hujurat where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says:

Indeed, the believers are brothers. So make amends, rectify the relationships, the conditions between your brothers. And fear Allah so that you may receive mercy.

So brotherhood — this is not just a social courtesy. This is a very strong tie. And what makes it a strong tie? Because it's through Iman. Allah Azza wa Jal says, the believers are brothers. So the strong tie and the common point, the factor between them, is that they are believers.

A Lesson from the Sikhs

There is — in the early 80s and 90s, things changed a little bit now — but there is something I used to read about the Sikhs and it used to make me jealous of them. The Sikh religion: they truly believe that they're brothers. And they said in the 80s and 90s, if you went from India to London and you don't have any preparation, you don't know anyone in London and you're a Sikh, you would just go to a phone book, open a directory and randomly pick a Sikh name. And you would call that person and they would come pick you up from the airport. And they would take you to their home and give you a place to stay and feed you until you can find a job and you can stand on your own feet. This is how serious they were about their brotherhood.

And you wonder — the Muslims — Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us in the only true book on this planet that we're believers, and we don't see this level of brotherhood, not as common.

The Mu'akha: The Prophet's Brotherhood System

That's why when the Muhajireen entered the city of Al-Madinah, the Prophet ﷺ was able to integrate them into the city and into life there in just six months. All of them had homes, lives, work, and they were not labeled as foreigners or newcomers or refugees. No one accused them of coming and taking jobs or anything like that — because the Prophet ﷺ used al-mu'akha. He used the brotherhood system. But they took it seriously.

And we'll get a glimpse of that from this narration of Abdur Rahman ibn Auf. Abdur Rahman ibn Auf is from amongst the ten given glad tidings of paradise. And the Prophet ﷺ made the mu'akha, the brotherhood, between him and Sa'eed ibn Rabee'. They're not blood brothers — the Prophet ﷺ made an Ansari a brother of the Muhajireen.

Sa'eed ibn Rabee' says: "My brother, I am of the wealthiest of the Ansar. Look at which half of my wealth you want — take it. I have two wives. See which one of them you like more and name her to me and I will divorce her."

Here's proof that we don't understand true brotherhood. Many people when they hear this narration, their only concern is: "How can he say that about his wife? She's not his possession. It's not his decision." That's all they take from the narration. Sa'eed is showing his sincerity and his degree of willingness to share with his brother. So he's making the initial offer. Of course, Abdur Rahman ibn Auf has the good taste to refuse the offer. But do you think if he said yes, is it up to Sa'eed who his ex-wife is going to marry? It's not his decision anyways. It's an offer showing sincerity and willingness. That's what it means.

And then of course, the response of Abdur Rahman ibn Auf: "May Allah put blessing for you in your family and in your wealth. Just show me the way to the market." And he showed him the way to the market. And he went and he became from the millionaires of Al-Madinah. So it's not just America that's a land of opportunities.

The Hadith of True Belief

So we know from the famous hadith, the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 13; Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 72)

None of you is truly a believer — your Iman is not complete — until you love for your brother what you love for yourself. And for the sisters: you love for your sister what you love for yourself.

So you see sometimes someone will purchase a new car and someone is jealous of them — not happy for them, but jealous. Or they've got newfound wealth. Or a simple thing: like someone gets a good parking spot. It's Tarawih, it's Ramadan, it's Jumu'ah. What do you do when you see a good spot and someone takes it right before you? You feel the hasra — I missed it. How many people say, genuinely: "Good for you. I'm happy for you." Do I love for my brother the same way I love for myself? If someone takes a great spot right in front of me, I should be happy for them. Simple things like a free parking space and we're like, oh, I almost got it.

In Japan, when you come early to work, you park far. It's the exact opposite of what we do in America. When you come early, you take the great spot. And you don't want to move it at lunch because you have the great spot, and you tell people, "I park right near the door." In Japan, they park far. And the earlier you come, the further out you park. Why? They say: "Because my co-worker who comes late is more in need of parking near the door than I am." Look at this akhlaq. Just loving for your brother. Simple tests like this.

The Muslim Is the Brother of the Muslim

You know, go to any masjid in the US — I'm not picking on our masjid — go to any masjid in the US and look at the parking at Jumu'ah, and look at who blocks in and who double parks. "I'll get it quickly after the salah." It's all about me. I don't want to inconvenience myself. I don't want to walk a long distance.

And the Prophet ﷺ said in Sahih Muslim:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Hadith 6219)

The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him. He does not do injustice to him. وَلَا يَخْذُلُهُ — and he does not abandon him or let him down. Which means, the scholars explain, that you defend your brother, that you are there to support them, you don't leave them, you don't abandon them — when they are in the right. They're not in the wrong in this case. You don't defend them if they're in the wrong. وَلَا يَحْقِرُهُ — you don't mention their flaws, their shortcomings. You don't hurl insults at them or names, or ridicule or make fun of them or their appearance or their financial situation or their bodily defects.

The Erosion of Loyalty Among the Believers

But today, brothers and sisters, there is little loyalty — little true loyalty amongst the believers. People are selling each other out. They betray each other. Here in America, we call the FBI on each other. The FBI agents used to complain to us after 9/11. They said, "We get so many calls from Muslims. And by law, we have to research and investigate every single one of them." And they said ninety-some percent of them, at the end of the day — oh, this guy was his business partner, the business went under and it failed, he called the FBI on him. This guy won't marry his daughter to him, he called the FBI on him. Half of it is like that.

One person makes a mistake and everyone around you abandons them. You misspeak once — you give a hundred khutbahs, someone doesn't like one, they write an email or a complaint immediately. A shaykh gives one fatwa you don't like: "Don't take anything from this shaykh. I don't listen to this shaykh." And I mean here, and for the rest of the khutbah, I am referring to people who have good aqeedah. I'm not talking about deviants and heretics. I'm talking about people who have good aqeedah. You don't like one fatwa, so don't take anything from the shaykh? Just don't take that fatwa from the shaykh. Why did you cancel his entire life? Why did you cancel every word that came out of his mouth? This is so common. And now with the internet, things get so much worse. "Oh, I disagree with him politically." We all disagree politically.

The Battle of Siffin: A Unique Example of Brotherhood

Look at the example from the Battle of Siffin. The Battle of Siffin is the most unique battle in human history. There will never be another one like it, and there's never been one like it before. The two camps were fighting each other. And then there was a period where there was a cessation of hostilities — they stopped fighting for a while. And the soldiers would go into the other camp and they would have lunch together and drink together and have dinner together and chitchat for hours. And then at night they'd go back to their camp: "I'll see you tomorrow. If the battle resumes tomorrow, I'll be on the other side."

And what's so unique about this battle is that they understood that the other person — even though he's on the other side of the battlefield — I don't have a problem with him personally. We disagree on one issue, one issue. But besides that, I believe they are a righteous person. And if they asked for my sister's hand in marriage, I would give them. I don't cancel out your entire life because we disagree on one issue. They could clearly separate where they disagreed and the many important issues — meaning the tenets of faith — where they do agree.

And that's why we said earlier that brotherhood is based on something strong — it's based on Iman. So I forgot all the pillars of Iman where we agree, and because we disagree on one issue — in the Battle of Siffin, it was a political issue, a timing issue — they didn't cancel each other out. So compare how we are today. Boycott the shaykh, boycott the masjid. Unity and brotherhood — they're based on agreeing on the fundamentals of faith. And we can disagree with each other and we're bound to disagree. But "I'm not your brother anymore because we disagree on one issue."

The Story of Sawdah and the Admonition of the Prophet ﷺ

Listen to this. The wife of the Prophet ﷺ, the mother of the believers — she saw Suhail ibn Amr. Suhail ibn Amr was known from amongst the Meccans. His hands were bound to his neck and he was brought in as a captive after the Battle of Badr. And this incident is mentioned in multiple books: Ibn Abi Shaybah mentions it in his Musannaf, Ibn Rahwayh mentions it in his Musnad, and Al-Tabarani mentions it in Al-Kabir.

She — Sawdah — said, narrating herself:

When I saw Aba Yazid — the kunya of Suhail ibn Amr — and his hands were bound to his neck, I said: "O Aba Yazid, you turned yourselves in by your own hands? Why didn't you die an honorable death? Why didn't you die an honorable death?"

Now — is dying fighting Allah and His messenger an honorable death? It's not an honorable death. But for the Arabs, it's more honorable to die in battle as opposed to being captured — so she said: "Why didn't you die an honorable death?" If he had died in the Battle of Badr, it would not have been an honorable death in reality. But then she says:

She said: "The only thing that brought me back to my senses and made me realize how wrong what I said was, was that the Prophet ﷺ was saying: 'O Sawdah, are you inciting him against Allah and His messenger?'" So then she says:

"By the One who sent you with the truth — I could not control myself when I saw him in that situation, and that's why I said what I said."

Imagine someone makes a statement like this today, in our day and age — what would happen? We'll take them out of Islam for sure. There's no second chance, there are no mistakes, you can't make a mistake, there are no excuses, no forgiveness, no mercy. And that is not true brotherhood that we have.

Would you like Allah to judge us with the same harshness we judge each other? Some people are emotional, some people misspeak, some people miscommunicate. Some people still think that religiosity is rigidity — that to nitpick and ask detailed questions and complain about every little thing shows that I'm religious. It happens all the time.

Hating for the Wrong Reasons

And the worst thing, brothers and sisters, is when somebody hates another believer and thinks he's doing it for the sake of Allah. Because if I hate someone because he has a new Mercedes, one day I'll feel ashamed of myself — what? It's just dunya, it's cars. But if I think that I hate him and this is deen, this is my religiosity in front of Allah Azza wa Jal — when am I ever going to stop that?

The Example of Ibn Taymiyyah and His Enemy

The example was mentioned by Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali rahimahullah — he was one of the students of Ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullah. He said: one day one of the biggest enemies of Ibn Taymiyyah died — his biggest nemesis died. So his friends came to give him the good news. They came and said: "Good news — your enemy so and so has died." In this narration, Ibn Taymiyyah yelled at the person who gave him the news. He said: "Do not give me glad tidings of the death of a Muslim!" He reprimanded him and yelled at him, and then he got dressed and he went to the family of the deceased and consoled them, offered his condolences, and said: "I am to you in his place. Whatever you need, I will do it before anyone. Whatever you ask — ask me before you ask anyone else." And he said: "It would not please me for any harm to touch any of you." This is how he behaved with his enemies, rahimahullah.

Beware, brothers and sisters, of trying to prove religiosity by pointing out the flaws of others. Many people try to show "I'm religious" by pointing out the flaws of other people — as if that shows my standards are high. Beware of convincing yourself that you're religious by nitpicking: "This should have been like that, and this should be longer, and that should be this way," scrutinizing and pointing out what others do. Hold yourself to that standard first. Beware of feeling good about yourself because you see others as bad. And if you're busy with yourself, you will have no time for the mistakes of others.

Indeed, those who ask for His forgiveness shall prosper.

Second Khutbah

You know, in this masjid we try to not give angry khutbahs and negative khutbahs and yell at people. So I already asked for pardoning — I didn't mean it that way. But wallahi, it's a bad state we are in.

This one shaykh was telling me: "The community is rooting for my children to fail." He said, "Because if they see my children as failures, they feel better about their own children. 'The shaykh's son is a zero — so alhamdulillah, I'm not too bad.'" So he said, wallahi this woman came to him and she was smiling: "Your son so and so did this with the boys, he did this and that." He said: "I reviewed the cameras. My son was in my office the whole time — he doesn't even know these kids." But the happiness that she had — that "I caught your son doing something wrong." Your son can make a mistake — what's the problem? And for me personally — I'm telling the community now — any of my kids do anything wrong, you feel free to reprimand them. I'm not going to come back at you and say, "Why did you raise your voice at my kids?"

Ways to Strengthen True Brotherhood

So what are some of the ways to increase good brotherhood, true brotherhood amongst ourselves?

Number one: Remove envy. Congratulate each other for success, for good things. Be genuinely happy — not just in small things like the parking space, but be happy for each other in all things.

Number two: Give gifts. And the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Hadith 594; also reported in Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah)

If you look this up just in psychology — what it does when people give gifts to one another — it's amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Number three: Forgive one another. No relationship — not a marital relationship, not a friendship, not even a sibling relationship — can survive grudges and anger. There has to be forgiveness. Forgive one another.

Number four: Help one another. Give assistance — and do it secretly as well. Remove any envy. Make sure that any time you see someone with something good, you don't move past it until you are sure that you are genuinely happy for that individual.