When A Home Collapses Shaytan Celebrates

When A Home Collapses, Shaytan Celebrates

Brothers and sisters in Islam, the title of our khutbah today is When a Home Collapses, Shaytan Celebrates. We're basing it off a hadith in Sahih Muslim where Jabir رضي الله عنه reports that the Prophet ﷺ said:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 39, Hadith 6755)

Iblis and His Organized Army

In this hadith, the Prophet ﷺ tells us that Iblis places his throne above the water. Imam al-Nawawi رحمه الله comments that the fact that he has a throne like that indicates Iblis's leadership, organization, and persistence. Other scholars commented that he puts his throne over the water as disrespect to Allah — imitating Allah, because Allah says in the Quran:

"And His throne was upon the water."

So he is pretending like he has a similar authority and has a throne above the water as well. Then the hadith says that he sends out saraya — his detachments — organized units and squads that go out. The scholars say this shows that the shayateen have ranks and hierarchies, and each shaytan is assigned specific missions: desires, anger, doubts, lust, arrogance — they have specific missions.

Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله says that the shayateen attack people according to their weakness, not equally. A simple example: if someone has asthma or a lung problem, the shaytan doesn't try to get him to smoke — that's not attractive to him. But he knows you since childhood, especially your qareen, so he knows your weaknesses and he knows what kinds of things to entice you with.

Allah says in the Quran:

"Indeed, the Shaytan is an enemy to you, so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze."

So take him seriously — take him as an enemy of yours. He only calls his party, hizbahu, his organized followers, so that they may be among the companions of the Fire. He is organized and he is your enemy. As the scholar said, he is always holding his weapon — he never puts it down for a minute. So if he doesn't put it down for a minute, you don't put yours down for a minute.

What Makes Iblis Truly Celebrate

Then the hadith continues: the one closest to him in rank is the one who will cause the greatest fitnah — the greatest trial or the greatest corruption. One of them comes and says, "I did such and such," and Iblis says, "You have done nothing." The hadith doesn't specify what "such and such" is — it could be murder, it could be zina, it could be drugs, it could be anything. He says: "I continued after this person until I got him to commit" — whatever major sin or perhaps minor sin. And then Iblis says, "You have done nothing." If the person murdered someone — that's nothing. If he committed zina — that's nothing. So what is he looking for, greater than that?

The scholars said: temptations alone are not the ultimate goal of Iblis. He wants lasting damage, not momentary slips. And this teaches us that persistent sin, or something longer-lasting, is more dangerous than a single fall.

Then another comes and says — continuing the hadith — "I did not leave him until I separated him from his wife." So Iblis brings him close and says: "Yes, you are the one — how excellent you are!" He is praising him.

So contemplate: is divorce halal or haram? No doubt divorce is halal. Zina is haram — a major sin. Murder is haram — one of the top three major sins. So this hadith requires so much contemplation and thinking on our part: why would Iblis be so happy with the shaytan that caused a man to do something halal, more so than the one who got a man to commit a major sin? This is something we need to contemplate a lot.

Especially today in our communities, divorce is rampant. People see divorce as the solution — a new beginning, a new life. Sometimes it is. But it's not always the case.

The scholars explained: someone can commit zina and make tawbah, so it can be erased — its damage was minimal or at least contained. Even murder — the scholars cite the hadith of the man who murdered 100 people and would be forgiven if he repented and moved to another city. He died before he even reached the other city and he was forgiven, as you know from the hadith. So he committed this major sin and it was forgiven. Or you commit zina and it is forgiven. But the shaytan who caused the man to divorce his wife is brought closer to Iblis and praised — how excellent you are! — because he wants what will lead to the greater collapse.

That means there must be more damage to people and society from divorce than from someone committing a sin and possibly repenting later.

Why Marital Separation Is So Praised by Iblis

Qadi Iyad and Imam al-Nawawi رحمهما الله say: marriage is the foundation of society, and destroying marriage leads to zina — the very thing that was not praised by Iblis. It leads to broken homes, harm to children, and emotional, financial, and spiritual collapse.

Some people are only convinced by statistics. From common statistics from the CDC — and these are American statistics for the most part — in the year 2023, about 40% of all births in the United States were to unmarried mothers. That means somewhere near 1.5 million babies were born outside of marriage in that year alone.

What is the effect of that? We're being brief — without any exaggeration, we could spend an hour just reading the statistics. But just briefly:

Single mothers and their children are more likely to experience lower income, fewer financial resources, and other socioeconomic challenges. About 31% of children in single-parent families live below the poverty line — compared to 9.5% in two-parent families. That's three times more.

Children in single-parent households tend to have lower educational achievement compared with their peers in two-parent families. They are more likely to drop out of high school, linked to fewer economic, social, and parental resources.

On crime: one study showed that children born to single parents are three times more likely to end up in jail. Many studies show that neighborhoods or cities with a high rate of children born out of wedlock have a higher crime rate — theft, murder, all of that came as a result.

On teen birth rates: one study shows that 66% of teenage mothers are themselves daughters of teenage mothers. The more children born out of wedlock, the higher the chances of their children doing the same.

Single parents face greater stress and have less time for supervision — less ability to raise children properly due to work demands.

25% of children whose parents divorce experience ongoing emotional and behavioral difficulties, compared to 10% of those whose parents remain married — again, more than double. They have difficulty trusting others. Divorce also disrupts extended family ties, so they have little or no connection with the father's family — they become disconnected from the uncles, aunts, grandparents, and everyone on that side. Studies also show they have lower GPA, are more likely to repeat grades, and have less of a chance of completing college.

But these are just statistics. They don't apply to every single person who has divorced parents. To be fair, research also shows that many children adjust over time — a lot of these difficulties may be concentrated in the early period, and sometimes they learn to adapt. Research and experts also mention that sometimes the conflict before the divorce is more harmful to children than the divorce itself.

And that's why a lot of times when people go to imams to fix the relationship, sometimes the imam tells them not to fix the relationship — and it happens all the time. One time someone came to me and said, "I want you to get me back together with my wife." So I asked, "What was your relationship like?" He said, "We fight. I hit her, she hits me back. I spit on her face, she spits on my face." He described the disaster. So I asked, "Why do you want to get back together with her?" He said, "For the sake of the children." I said, "But right now — is this good for the children?" He walked off and left.

Yes, there are cases where divorce is better. We're not here advocating that you should never get a divorce. And there are cases where it is such a simple fix — such a simple fix — but nobody wants to put in the work. People want magic.

There was a guy one time — I spoke to him as if he were a five-year-old child, to the point that I was embarrassed by how I was speaking to this grown man. I was telling him word for word what to say to his wife, how to say it. I was embarrassed by the way I was talking down to him. He goes home — and spits on her face — and calls me: "Sheikh, please help us." No. Don't call me again. It doesn't work like magic. You have to put in a lot of effort.

How Shaytan Works in Steps

The Shaytan works in steps. He doesn't come and directly whisper to you to divorce, or to kill, or to commit zina. Allah says in the Quran:

"Do not follow the footsteps of the Shaytan."

The scholars said: the fact that the Shaytan works in steps indicates that he is clever. So he'll begin with emotional distancing between the spouses, resentment, comparison — people always comparing other couples. You don't know what happens behind their closed doors, but people compare and imagine the other couple has a better life. Suspicion. Exhaustion. Then he whispers: "You're not fulfilled. Your spouse is holding you back. This isn't what you signed up for. You deserve happiness. You can do better."

That's why Allah says in the Quran:

"And the Shaytan promises them nothing but deception."

The grass is greener, there are better things out there for you — he is promising you deception. And that's why He says:

"I will surely mislead them and I will fill them with false hopes."

And Allah describes him again:

"The Shaytan only wants to sow enmity and hatred amongst you."

And you would imagine — being in a position where we see these cases of people who want divorce — that sometimes the relationship is so fixable. The problem is not major, but people want divorce and they imagine this is the best thing that can happen to them.

You all know how difficult it is to raise children in America right now. Put the economy aside. Even just looking at the spiritual challenge — two righteous parents doing their very best, and their child may still not turn out righteous. Let alone one couple, or one spouse thinking they can do that on their own. So many people don't think of that. And I'm talking, again, about cases where it is fixable — where the work can be done and it can be fixed.

But they see divorce as the best way. The man is excited to start fresh, get a new wife. The woman thinks, "I'll be free — coming and going and nobody's going to bother me." But the children remain, and it is not easy with just two. It's not easy to raise children with two parents — let alone with one. So many times we see people in such an immense rush to get divorced, thinking it's going to be a whole new world and a new beginning. It's extremely difficult.

So what we're saying in this khutbah is: look at the damage divorce does — to the point that Iblis celebrates the shaytan who got a man to do something halal, more than the one who got a man to commit a major sin.

أقول قولي هذا وأستغفر الله لي ولكم ولجميع المسلمين، فاستغفروه إنه هو الغفور الرحيم

Second Khutbah: Practical Steps

الحمد لله رب العالمين، والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله الأمين، وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين. أما بعد:

1. Seek Help Early

If you feel — or if there is — a distance between you and your spouse, seek help early. One of the most common problems is — and it's almost always the man — he doesn't want another man telling him what to do with his family or how to run his life. So many times the woman wants to come for counseling or arbitration, but the man doesn't want to. And then it just keeps spiraling out of control and getting worse over the years.

So seek help early. We have so many available resources — and I don't mean just imams. We've had people who went to imams, then went to professionals, and their marriages are in excellent shape. It doesn't have to be an imam that you go to. Look at all the resources available to you. But you'll find people suffering — just sitting there, suffering for years and years, nobody happy, the children becoming unhappy — when they could simply go try to work it out or put some effort into it.

Many times people don't want to put in the effort. Many men think the solution is to get another wife. And I personally have never seen someone fix a problem by getting another wife — never in my life. You just see the man who gets another wife, and his life gets worse. You cannot fix this problem by creating a new relationship — the original problem remains.

2. Patience and Forgiveness

It requires a lot of patience — and patience is difficult. That's why Allah will reward those who are patient so greatly on the Day of Judgment, because it is genuinely hard. It requires patience. It requires forgiveness.

3. The Lesson of Tawbah — and Humility Between Spouses

One of the points the scholars mentioned: Allah taught Adam عليه السلام everything —

"And He taught Adam the names of all things."

Some of the contemporary scholars noted that He taught him: this is poisonous, this is raw, this is cooked, this is fire — the species of animals — He taught him everything. So Adam عليه السلام was a very intelligent man. But even though Allah taught him everything, He delayed one lesson — and He delayed it to keep it special. He did not teach him how to make tawbah until Adam عليه السلام sinned and erred. Then Allah taught him tawbah.

The scholar said: if tawbah had just come as one of the lessons among plants, animals, and other things, it would have been lost. But Allah saved it. And tawbah — essentially seeking forgiveness and apologizing to Allah — is something so many people are too proud to do, even between spouses. There are so many people too proud to apologize to their own spouse.

4. Let Things Slide — The Prophetic Example

It requires sometimes just letting things slide. In the famous hadith — when the Prophet ﷺ left the apartment of Aisha رضي الله عنها and went out to al-Baqi' — there is a part many people miss. Aisha followed him thinking he was going to another one of his wives. When he returned, he became angry with her because she had thought he would do something unfair. She changed the topic and asked him: "What should I say when I go to al-Baqi'? What is the du'a I make?" And the Prophet ﷺ told her the du'a.

Do you not think that he knew she was changing the topic? But he let it slide. How do we act today when you catch your wife changing the topic — or she catches you changing the topic? "You think I'm dumb? You don't think I notice you're changing the topic?" Just let it slide. It takes a lot of pushing down egos and pride, and it takes a lot of hard work.

Conclusion

So the bottom line, brothers and sisters: let's not seek divorce as the first solution. It is sometimes the solution. But a lot of times it is the final solution — and there are many things to attempt before we get to that stage.