When your Heart is Empty

When Your Heart is Empty

We begin by praising Allah and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. We bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in his blessed path until the Day of Judgment — and we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen.

A Heart Like a Stone — Two Very Different Meanings

Dear brothers and sisters, in the midst of the destruction of what is taking place in Gaza, there was a question that someone had asked me that I found very interesting. This was a brother that wasn't familiar with the Arabic language, and he was watching one of the rescue workers go through and pick people up and move bodies around and settle families and deliver food. As he was watching this video there was a subtitle that said, "his heart is like a stone," and so he actually stopped me and he said, "What does it mean, his heart is like a stone? Because that sounds like something inherently negative."

And obviously there is a saying that you will hear in some Arab cultures — "his heart is like a stone or like a rock" — but it means something entirely different from what we're actually accustomed to it meaning, and from the Quranic implication of it. When that saying is said, it's referring to a person who is able to bear so much pain in the moment, who is able to settle themselves in the moment and take care of people, and almost suppress their own emotions as they're dealing with other people. So it's actually said in a praiseworthy way — they'll say, "He has a heart like stone. He can go through there, he can carry the wounded, he can take this, he can take that, and look at him, he's not even crying, he's not screaming — everyone else around him is screaming — he's in the zone."

And I thought to myself, subhanAllah, the difference between that and what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says — "Isn't it time for those who believe to humble their hearts to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and the remembrance that He has revealed of truth?"

And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says: "And don't be like those who came before you from the People of the Book, whose hearts became hard — they became like rock."

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions in Surah al-Baqarah that some people's hearts become hard like rocks — then some people's hearts become even harder than stone. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala condemns that type of a heart. A heart that can't receive anything good anymore. A heart that doesn't have any type of beating of khair, any type of beating of good. It's just dead.

And subhanAllah, the implications of those two things could not be more different. And I realize that there's a difference between a hard heart and a tired heart. There's a difference between a heart that has shut itself off from revelation and the implications of revelation — and in the process became hard — and a heart that had to bear the consequences of having to sustain so many people. It's like if you have multiple oxygen machines plugged into one, and so that heart has to be at a certain level and has to give of its own oxygen. But there's a difference between the two.

The Dual Reality: Ramadan and Gaza

And is there any shar'i basis for this? Is there anything within the Qur'an and the Sunnah that speaks to this? And why is it so important right now? As we come into the month of Ramadan and the genocide in Gaza continues, there are two sentiments that many of us have heard or felt:

"I feel empty. I'm tired. I don't feel the ibadah. I don't feel the worship like I used to."

Or: "I'm seeing these images — and it's an overload of these images now — I'm not crying anymore, or my tears are drying up. How do I cry? How do I still feel something? Because I don't want to get used to this."

And subhanAllah it just so happens that we are in the twelfth juz', or we have come through the Surah of Yusuf alayhi salam. And we've been reflecting on Yusuf alayhi salam in multiple ways and the story of Ya'qub alayhi salam in multiple ways.

The Example of Ya'qub — Grief and Endurance Together

And I want you to think about what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says about Ya'qub alayhi salam:

From a pure Arabic language perspective, just analyzing this linguistically — subhanAllah — seemingly two completely contradicting emotions in one. وَابْيَضَّتْ عَيْنَاهُ مِنَ الْحُزْنِ — he cried his eyes out to a point of blindness. He went blind from crying. Al-Muqatil says he was blind for six years because of the amount of crying, because of the amount of grief over Yusuf alayhi salam.

And the brothers of Yusuf alayhi salam thought that by throwing him away they would diminish the favoritism — they'd diminish the attachment of Ya'qub to Yusuf. But what ended up happening is that Ya'qub loved him even more. That Ya'qub's attachment to him remained and it only grew in terms of love. And so those that tried to throw away Yusuf ended up creating an even greater attachment and longing and empathy for Yusuf.

It sounds very much so — by the way — like our oppressors that think that the more that they kill, the more that the world will get used to the killing, and the less people will sympathize, and people will just simply accept this as a matter of life. May Allah allow us to prove them wrong. May Allah allow us to prove them wrong. Because that's what they're counting on.

So the brothers of Yusuf thought, "We throw him away, eventually he gets over it." وَابْيَضَّتْ عَيْنَاهُ مِنَ الْحُزْنِ — he cried so much that he went blind for six years. Think about the time frame of six years.

فَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ — but Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, while he was swallowing it. It's like — wait, what? Allah azza wa jalla says:

Those who swallow their anger. And He uses the same word for Ya'qub alayhi salam — فَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ — he swallowed it. What does that mean? Qatada rahimahu Allah says what that means is لَا يَقُولُ إِلَّا خَيْرًا — he used to cry with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and he would take his grief to Allah.

So when he says:

"I complain of my sadness and grief to Allah" — that's not posturing. That's not him saying to his sons, "I only do this for the sake of Allah." And the fact of you saying, "I only do this for the sake of Allah," is sometimes an indication that maybe you're not doing it for the sake of Allah. When Ya'qub alayhi salam says this to his kids, he's not posturing. It's literally a lifestyle that he has. He bears it, and then he takes it to a certain place. And the intensity of those emotions is felt in his du'a and then felt in his not giving up hope in Yusuf alayhi salam.

And you would think that a man who cries over Yusuf alayhi salam that much would not be able to live with the brothers of Yusuf. Somehow Ya'qub alayhi salam still functions. Somehow he's still in the same household with those that caused him this pain for all of these years. SubhanAllah. What's going on here?

Apathy vs. Fatigue — They Are Not the Same

And here we are, subhanAllah, and we face these two realities. The dual reality of Ramadan going on — acts of worship being intensified — but perhaps the emptiness of emotion. And seeing so much tragedy that at some point, just like if a part of your body gets blunted over and over again, there's a protection mechanism to where it numbs itself. We feel numbness. And I don't know how to reckon with that numbness. Should I feel guilty? Is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala going to punish me because the tears dry out? Am I going to be asked about this?

A lot of times, dear brothers and sisters, we mistake apathy for fatigue. They're not the same thing. It's one thing to intentionally not care and to not care that you don't care — "I want to move away from this, I need to protect myself, so I'm not going to expose myself to what's happening in the world." It's another thing to care and to be tired, but then to try to find ways to make sure that what drove your empathy in the first place continues to drive you to action.

If the way to maintain revelation is through recitation and through acting upon it, the way to maintain empathy is through acting upon it as well. What does that mean? On the Day of Judgment, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is not going to raise you and say to you, "You didn't shed enough tears for Gaza," or "You didn't cry enough." But He will take you to account for not speaking enough, for not doing enough, for not praying enough, for not moving enough. Because that's what the point of that empathy is. It's not the intensity of the emotion — it's the imperative of the action, the deed that follows. That's how you guard it.

Channeling Emotion Into Deed

The intensity of emotion is good, especially if you can find a way to channel it the way that Ya'qub alayhi salam did. And that's the perfection of our messenger salallahu alayhi wasallam. As much as the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam was exposed to tragedy — and if there was anyone that could numb himself, it would be the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam — the intensity of his qiyam, the intensity of his du'a, the intensity of his relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allowed him that necessary outlet so that he could keep doing this in a way that was pleasing to Allah until Allah is pleased.

And I was reading Lata'if al-Ma'arif by al-Hafidh Ibn Rajab rahimahu Allah, when he talks about how qiyam provokes something, how fasting provokes something. And he says: لِيَذُوقَ الْجُوعَ — so that he could taste hunger, so that he could feel what it is like to be of the hungry, so that he could actually empathize with al-ja'i, with the one who's hungry. It's not just so that a person takes their own blessings and says, "I understand my blessings." The end result of that is that you're thinking about the ja'i, you're thinking about the one who's actually starving, you're thinking about the one who's actually hungry. Not just alhamdulillah, I feel good, I know now the blessings that I have. Rather: Alhamdulillah, I have these blessings, they don't have those blessings — how can I get them over to them? What do I do? How do I push myself? That has to drive you.

But if you're finding at times that the emotion part diminishes a bit — subhanAllah — that's going to happen. You're going to find yourself in a situation where it's going to be hard. They talk about this idea of crying yourself out. You're going to dry out of tears at times. But when you dry out of tears, don't dry out of deeds. And find that connection with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala through this personal ibadah that allows for an outlet and that allows for an input as well. The output is definitely tears and brokenness. The input has to be sincerity and dedication. And then you can channel yourself towards those things inshallah ta'ala, constantly.

So it's not about feeling empty. It's about being empty when it comes to your deeds.

Also, Allah azza wa jalla praises those that have an intensity of emotion with the revelation:

If it leads you to prostration and crying, there is praise of that. But when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala condemns the other side, He is not condemning the lack of emotion — He is condemning the lack of action on it. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala condemns people that turn away from the revelation. And essentially what you start to see is that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam hones in on this idea — you lose the revelation when you fail to recite it and act upon it. If you're not reciting the Qur'an frequently, you will lose it. If you're not acting upon the Qur'an frequently, you will lose it. And that loss is not simply a loss of memory — the Qur'an will leave from you and actually become a testimony against you on the Day of Judgment. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us.

Du'a

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala fill our hearts and fill our souls with the Qur'an. Allow us to be amongst those that recite the revelation, that make du'a with the revelation, and that channel that revelation in our personal lives and towards our brothers and sisters. Allahumma ameen.

Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu ala rasulillah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man wala.

Indeed, Allah commands justice, excellence, and giving to those of kin, and He forbids immorality, wrongdoing, and transgression. He admonishes you so that you may be reminded.

So remember Allah and He will remember you. Be grateful to Him for His favors and He will increase you in them. And the remembrance of Allah is the greatest thing. And Allah knows what you do. Establish the prayer.