You and the Summer

You and the Summer

All praise is due to Allah and his praise, and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, his family, his companions and his followers until the Day of Judgment. I bear witness that Allah is the only one worthy of worship and Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم is his last and final messenger.

My dear brothers and sisters:

Summer is starting — officially after Memorial Day, the official day of summer starts in America. Many kids today is their last day of school, or next week is their last day of school. And with summer there are great opportunities — a lot of time at hand. And also there are a lot of problems that come with the summer, a lot of tests and trials as well.

Summer is having nothing to do and all day to do it. For some people that is what summer is — unfortunately they are highly motivated to do nothing during the summer. Which is an ironic situation. And I would like to dedicate my khutbah today to the subject of summer, since we are about to start.

The Value of Time

First of all, it is so important for us to teach our children from a very early age that time is the most valuable thing that we have in life. The poet said:

Time is the most precious thing you can care to preserve, yet I see it is the easiest thing for you to waste.

Imam al-Shafi'i, may Allah have mercy on him, when he was told that time is like gold, he said: No. Time is not like gold — time is more valuable than gold. Because if you lose your gold you can repurchase it, you can sell and buy again. But time — you cannot regain it. You cannot gain back that time if you lose it.

And that is why the most accurate way, as al-Shafi'i said, is that time is like a sword — it will cut you, and you cannot cut it. It will cut through you. People speak of killing time, while time is slowly killing them.

Al-Hasan al-Basri said: "O son of Adam, you are nothing but a collection of days — when one of your days goes, a part of you goes with it."

We have to teach our kids this because it does not come automatically. Some people think that summer means wasting time, or doing nothing. The moment you talk about something of value, it becomes something we have trained our kids' brains to think is unacceptable — because it is summer, it is okay to waste time and not benefit from it.

Time is ticking. Every day has 1,440 minutes. Every week has 168 hours. That means your summer this year will have approximately 2,184 hours — about 131,040 minutes. And I am mentioning specifically the minutes because if you do not care about the minutes and the seconds, you will not care about the hours and the days and the weeks. If minutes are okay to be wasted, I guarantee you the hours will be wasted as well.

Shawqi, may Allah have mercy on him, said: "The beats of a man's heart are telling him — that life is nothing but minutes and seconds."

Your heartbeat is telling you that life is nothing but a collection of seconds and minutes. And every second is of infinite value. The question is: how will you spend them?

How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. And that is something I want you, when you go back today, to let your kids understand. How you spend your days is how you spend your life.

Planning for the Summer

That leads me to the first point I want to share today. It is so important to talk with your kids and ask them: what is your plan for the summer? I was asking my kids this morning. I said, "What is your plan for the summer?" I did not need to give them one — I can guide them and help them. But the question makes them answer it for themselves first. What are you planning to do? What are you going to do this summer?

And this applies to you as well. People often complain about a lack of time, when the real problem is a lack of direction. A lack of planning is the real problem, not the time. So make sure from the beginning of summer that your children have certain goals they want to achieve. Speak to them about planning and goals and how they plan to go from point A to point B. Make sure that during the summer you keep them motivated. Make sure you have checkpoints where you review their progress — what kind of progress they have made toward their goals.

And if you are older and do not have young kids at home — this applies to young adults as well. Even if your kids are teenagers or in their 20s, you can motivate them if they have a break from college to do the same thing. Because I am surprised by how, when kids get older, they think that they do not need to care about time anymore. Or salah anymore. Or coming to the masjid anymore. Or Quran anymore. As if these things are only for children.

But when they become 17, 18, 19, 20 — or in their 20s in college — they act as if these things are not applicable to them. You see them when they were younger caring more about Quran, caring more about the masjid, caring more about being a part of the community. And as they get older they drift and shift away, thinking this is for kids. But that is not true. They need these things more than the kids do.

So make sure that during the summer you review with them their goals, how they can adjust their goals as they go, and that they are making progress. Motivate them. Reward them — by words and praise, and also by gifts. Maybe you say: "If you memorize one page of the Quran in the month of June, I have a $50 gift card for you," or "I will do this for you," or "I will buy you this." Motivate them and give them all kinds of motivation.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals for Kids

Another thing — make sure you teach them how to set good goals. There is a very famous acronym: S.M.A.R.T. goals. Those in business will know what that means. But I have my own version of S.M.A.R.T. goals — one I made especially for kids:

S — Small. Make sure your kids have small, manageable goals.
M — Memorable. Something that they will remember, something nice that they will think about as they grow older.
A — Attainable. Something your kids can actually achieve in the summer.
R — Relaxing. Summer should not stress them out or overload them. It takes sustained effort, but it does not need to be too hard.
T — Taking them to Jannah. Any time you set a goal, make sure that:

Whether it is through the right intention, or through the action itself — make sure it leads them closer to Allah and to Jannah.

Traveling in the Summer

In summer we tend to travel — يكثر السفر في الصيف. And before I say anything about traveling — especially to my people — can we make sure that the travel day is a fun day? Traveling day is one of the worst days sometimes. It is so stressful, full of screaming and yelling. There is no need for that. Don't start the trip with making it terrible. Try to keep it positive. Make sure that you make the trip fun.

Traveling is such a beautiful thing. Allah ordered us to travel and to explore the world. You know what is the most beautiful thing in this world? It is the world itself. So go see it. Go experience it. Take your kids and, when you travel for the sake of exploring, have the right intention:

You want to see the creations of Allah. And make sure you bring these reflections to your kids. When they see the mountains, the snow, the lakes, the rivers — wherever you go — remind them of the power and the beauty of Allah. Take the opportunity to connect them. Because one of the things that connects you with Allah is being connected with the creation of Allah.

We are so attached to machines made by men. But when you connect with nature — which is made by Allah — you will automatically connect more with Allah. That is why it is so important for us to go out, even if it is a short hike.

I travel a lot — a lot of people know that about me. One of my favorite things when I travel is that I get to meet myself. So many times when you travel, you get to spend some time with yourself, to review your life, to reflect upon your life, and you discover things in yourself you did not know before.

As the saying goes: السفر يُصَفِّي عن أخلاق الناس — traveling reveals what is truly in a person, things that are never discovered when they are at home. That is why it is so important to discover your kids through travel. You get to know a lot about your children when you travel together.

Silat al-Rahim — Maintaining Family Ties

Another important aspect of traveling is silat al-rahim — maintaining the ties of kinship:

Allah will connect to those who connect to their family, and when you are connected to Allah, you are connected to His mercy, His blessings, His bounties, His security, His safety, and His reward. صلة الرحم من أعظم العبادات عند الله — maintaining family ties is one of the greatest acts of worship with Allah.

So if you go to visit family in another state or another country, talk to your kids about the good intention — that you are going not just for fun, not just to see your cousins, but to connect with your relatives. And if you can take days specifically dedicated to that, do it.

Common Mistakes When Traveling

One of the common mistakes I see when people travel — especially on long flights — is that they miss their salah on the airplane. What they do is say: "We are going to pray Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib, Isha, and Fajr when we land somewhere in Europe." No. You cannot do that. It is not allowed. You must pray on time. And when you pray on time, you pray according to the time of where you are at — you look at the sun. If the sun goes down, that means Maghrib — you pray Maghrib and Isha. If the sun is about to rise, you pray Fajr.

Today there are apps that will calculate the time of salah no matter where you are in the world, even if you are between cities or flying. Download one of these apps and you will be able to find the time of your salah no matter where you are.

Another thing regarding praying on the airplane: for an obligatory prayer, your face and chest must be facing the qibla. For those traveling from America to the Middle East, the qibla is generally in the north-to-northeast direction — anywhere between north, northeast, or east is correct and acceptable. You do not have to be at an exact 45-degree angle. If you go from Australia traveling north, your qibla will be roughly north. Adjust yourself in your seat as best you can, and you pray.

You pray in the airplane while sitting. You pray Dhuhr as two rak'ahs, Asr as two rak'ahs, Isha as two rak'ahs. Maghrib remains three rak'ahs and Fajr remains two rak'ahs — you cannot shorten those.

Halal Food When Traveling Abroad

Also, if you travel to a country where the majority of the people are not Christians or Jews — for example Japan, Korea, China — you cannot simply eat the food there. That is not permitted. You are not allowed to eat the meat unless you know it was slaughtered by a Muslim, a Jew, or a Christian.

Also, in some European countries — some Scandinavian countries — the declared atheist population can reach up to 70%. Do a little homework, because if that is the case, you are also not allowed to eat the meat there. If the majority of a country are Christians and Jews, you add the two percentages together along with the Muslims — and if together they form the majority, you are allowed to eat their meat and chicken there, unless you know for certain that a particular meat has not been slaughtered according to the proper method. So do your homework about where you are traveling.

The Masjid in the Summer

In the summer it is important to stay connected to the masjid, especially for the prayer. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that the salah in the masjid is 27 times more rewarding than praying at home.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 645; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 650)

Make sure your kids come to the masjid. If you give your teenager a car because they have started driving, make it a condition: "I am giving you this car so you can take your younger siblings to the masjid. I am giving you this car so you can pray at the masjid more often. I did not give you the car so you can go to the shisha place more often. One of the most important uses of this car is to go more often to the masjid — to pray Isha there, to pray Maghrib, to pray Fajr."

Make sure that you are also familiar with the activities happening at the masjid. We have a lot of activities this summer for young children, young adults, and adults. There are courses, programs, and Quran classes. If the kids say, "Baba, it is summer — it is a break!" — understand that it is not only lectures. There is a lot of fun activity involved. But you have to understand that time is connected to the concept of growing. As your time goes on, you have to grow with it.

Beaches, Water Parks, and Awrah

In the summer people go to beaches and water parks. Make sure that you do not expose your awrah — and this applies to both men and women. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said it is haram for a woman to look at another woman's awrah, and:

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 338)

It is not allowed to look at another man's awrah. And it is haram to touch the awrah of someone else, or to expose your own awrah in public.

Games, Social Media, and Balance

In summer, people spend a lot of time on games, movies, and watching screens. Maybe you can encourage your kids to read more books. If you read a lot of books you will be considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of movies you will not be considered well-reviewed.

I told my son — he loves to play games — I said: "Man, get a life." He said, "Baba, I have a lot of lives — I have a lot of lives in my game." Unfortunately, if in your games you have a lot of lives, I have bad news for you: in real life you only have one. If you lose it, you lose it.

I am not saying do not play games online or have social media activity. But what is important is to focus on being social — not on doing social media. Do you get the difference? To focus on being social, not on performing social media. Part of the time playing games is okay, but excessive gaming is not good. Give your kids some free time to play, but also make sure they invest part of their time in something beneficial.

A Message from Your Kids to You

I have a message from your kids to you, parents. Your kids say behind your back: "We have a dream — that one day our mom and our dad will understand that online games cannot be paused."

With that said — in all seriousness — the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told us that when a person is praying — a voluntary prayer — and his parents call him, he should cut off his prayer and go answer his mother and father. Compare this to playing games. Yes, we as parents should not abuse this right. But I want children to understand the importance of putting things in the right priority.

A Summer Free from Sin

There are other important topics I would like to address in future khutbahs — things like drugs, alcohol, dating, zina, smoking, and haram content that people watch. But for now, make sure we try our best to make this summer free from sins as much as we can. There is nothing better for you on the Day of Judgment, when you meet Allah, than to have fewer sins in your record.

Du'a

May Allah forgive our sins. May Allah help us to do good. May Allah help us and our children to maximize our benefit in this summer, and to help us use this time for what is beneficial for us in this dunya and the next. And we ask Allah to guide us and our families, and to fill our homes with righteousness and goodness. And peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم.