Just A Tear For The One We Fear
By Yaser Birjas | 2026-01-13T12:33:36.537039+00:00 | Topic: Iman
Just A Tear For The One We Fear
Shaykh Yaser Birjas
Opening and Introduction
Remarkably, the end of the hadith on which this whole conference was based, discussing the seven categories, seven qualifications to be under the shade of Ar-Rahman Subhanahu wa ta'ala, ends with this beautiful, remarkable of itself, quality of someone, individual who is alone, no distractions, nothing about the dunya is around them, surrounding them. And being alone and by themselves, suddenly they break out in tears.
The Departing Notes
And when you ask yourself the question, why are they crying, what could be the reason for them to cry? They thought about something that moved them, that materialized the thought itself as if it really exists in front of them that made them cry. And that thought is to believe and remember that one day they will be standing before Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. SubhanAllah, that same category was the end of that long hadith.
It's just like the departing notes. And this is exactly what we're doing right now in the final session of this conference. It's like a departing note.
And usually when people separate after a beautiful, long term of civil engagement and gatherings and conferencing and so on, they will develop these emotions. And now, when you remember yourself tomorrow at this time, you'll be at work or in school or going back again to the same boring lifestyle you had before you came to this conference, you start crying. And I guarantee you before you leave when you shake hands and hug people here and there, you will hide your face and your eyes because perhaps you'll be crying.
The Hadith of the Seven Categories
And at the end of the hadith, the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلمhe brings this quality:
(Bukhari 660)
(Muslim 1031)
This individual who will remember Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala when they're in solitude, alone. No one is around them and they're remembering Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala, so they cry. These kind of gatherings always end with these emotional memories.
The Poetry of Life's Gatherings and Departures
And Subhanallah, it reminds me even with the whole life itself, it's full with these memories. It's full with these beautiful gatherings and then separation and departing. Which reminds me of this beautiful poetry in the Arabic language where the poetry says:
For every beautiful gathering, there has to be a departure, which means separation.
But not every departure has to end with or has to come back to a reunion. Because when you die, there's no reunion until somewhere else in the hereafter. And now he brings an example and he says:
I opened my eyelids between two individuals, call them mom and dad.
They reached their age and I was still a baby between them and amongst them.
Soon after that, they decided to depart, means they died. And that departure was not the best departure, it's not the thing that you desire.
And then he says:
And then later after that, I have a child who's calling me dad.
Just like I did before when I had someone to call dad, means the cycle of life will continue and it's going to be a column between getting together, departing, getting together, departing, until that perpetual gathering and reunion in the akhirah.
The Meaning of Flowing Tears
You make sure when this happens, you become one of these seven categories inshallah. The hadith says:
(Bukhari 660)
(Muslim 1031)
Someone who remembers Allah in his or her solitude when they're alone and their eyes start flowing with tears. You know the Arabic expression (فَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ) doesn't necessarily mean weeping.
It doesn't mean that you have to cry your eyes out. Some people think that it doesn't get actually emotional until you start wailing and yelling and screaming and grappling in your hair and beard. It doesn't have to go to that extreme.
The expression says (فَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ) which means eyes are flowing with tears. You know sometimes when you see somebody you can tell that they were crying. How would you tell? How would you know that? You can see their eyes look different.
They're watery. And you would see that, Oh, so what's going on? Is it allergies? No, that's nothing. And you can tell that they were crying. And you could see in their eyes that their tears are flowing. What could be the reason? And why do people actually cry in the first place?
Allah is the Creator of Laughter and Crying
And Imam Al-Qurtubi (رَحِمَهُ اللهُ تَعَالَى)he, on the commentary of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala's statement:
Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala is the one who makes you laugh and cry.
He created laughter and crying and he said that this is (قَضَى أَسْبَابَ الضَّحِكِ وَالْبُكَاءِ) - He was the one, Subhanahu wa ta'ala who made the reasons. He made the means that causes people to laugh and causes people to cry. When you see a funny event or incident or whatever, you just cannot hold yourself but laughing.
And when you see something that brings tears to your eyes, you cannot hold yourself but crying. These (أَسْبَاب) that causes you to grieve and feel the sorrow and also feels giggling and laughing are all by the will of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala and these are natural things. So these are natural.
Crying as a Natural and Noble Act
Crying is a natural thing. You shouldn't be ashamed of that. You shouldn't be considering crying a sign of weakness unless it is at a time when there should be no crying.
But it is indeed something natural. And even Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala mentioned to us in the Qur'an that the most righteous would express these practices of crying. Even the Anbiya, Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala says in Surah Maryam:
Those are the people whom Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala bestowed upon them. He bestowed His mercy - From the prophets. (مِنَ ٱلنَّبِيِّۦنَ) - The offspring of Adam. (مِن ذُرِّيَّةِ ءَادَمَ) - And those who were carried with Nuh (وَمِمَّنْ حَمَلْنَا مَعَ نُوحٍۢ) - And from the offspring and the progeny of Ibrahim and Israel that's Yaqub, chosen and we selected for that particular message and we guide them to that path. (وَمِن ذُرِّيَّةِ إِبْرَٰهِيمَ وَإِسْرَٰٓءِيلَ) - That whenever the words and the verses of Allah is recited before them they fall on their faces in a position of sujood and worship . (إِذَا تُتْلَىٰ عَلَيْهِمْ ءَايَٰتُ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ خَرُّوا۟ سُجَّدًا وَبُكِيًّا)
So to cry is a noble thing especially if it's done for the sake of Allah.
The Prophet's Example of Crying
The messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم - He himself, he cried. He was one of the people who cried for the sake of Allah. عائشة رضي الله عنها - She explained the message of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in one night that he woke up at night as usually he wanted to worship Allah being appreciative to what Allah has blessed him with.
So عائشة رضي الله عنها - She kind of you know, his wife and she wants his company in the bed stay with him and so forth. And then the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم says:
Please, let me do that I just want to go and make my salah and my ibadah. Then she said:
I love your proximity and being with you, but I'm not going to stand between you and your Lord. I won't stand between you and your Lord سبحانه وتعالى.
So the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم she's narrating the story - He stood up, he made wudu and he صلى الله عليه وسلم made salah and he was crying in his sajdah
The Power of Solitary Worship
Now even though Aisha was there but that's another form of solitude. When you pray alone that's when the power of crying takes actually its maximum. But when you cry when everybody else is around you, it's a collective power. Maybe you're not crying because you're really emotionally now attached to the recitation. Perhaps you're crying because of what the Imam is going to recite a very long surah. Or maybe some other reason that you're crying for. But when you're doing it in salah alone it is definitely a sign of:
(Bukhari 660)
(Muslim 1031)
Someone who's remembering Allah when they're alone in their solitude and their eyes are flowing with tears.
What Makes You Cry?
There are so many reasons why people cry and I would like to ask you that question: What makes you cry? Let me put it this way: What is that thing that's really worth crying for in your life?
Is it a movie that you're watching and now you see things that you know and I know as much as you do that is all fake? It's a story. Even if it tells you at the beginning based on a true story. But you know they're just enacting it. It's not what really happened. You still cry. Sometimes you even watch an animation and you cry for it. And you just look at yourself in the mirror: Why are you crying? Is it really something that's worth crying for?
People they cry because their team lost the game. Other people they cry because the sale in the mall just finished five minutes ago - I lost that item or that item. What is really worth crying for? Ask yourself the question. People they cry for so many reasons.
The Different Types of Tears
Number one, they cry out of fear. They cry out of fear. And we say out of fear. Usually in the Arabic language the word is (خوف). And usually the word (خوف) in the Arabic language is used for fear for something that would happen in the future. So you're afraid of something that would happen in the future and that's why you're afraid. Especially if you're at home and you hear some noise in the room and you know that there's nobody there and you know that you just came out of that room and now you're hearing something in there. Now all the speculation in your mind makes you go crazy because you're afraid what could that be? You're not predicting, when I go in there what is going to be there? And you go there, subhanallah, it's only the cat. So you just freak out for no reason. Sometimes you perhaps forgot that you have a cat at home even.
The other reason people they cry out of (رحمة or شفقة or رأفة). It means out of mercy, tenderness, it's a feeling. When you see someone like the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم holding his own baby, infant and dying in his own hands. He cried صلى الله عليه وسلم. Sa'd ibn Ubadah, he said: "Ya Rasulullah, what is this? Even you, you do that, you forbid us from doing so." This is a mercy. Which means I can't hold myself, it's just mercy.
Number three: People they cry out of love. They're longing for some experiences they had with someone they love. And they cherish these memories. So they start crying. And what's so ironic about love, people they cry when they depart and they cry when they meet. All the time. It's all about crying,
The Crying Types
subhanallah. The more you cry about it, the more loving you feel. And it's ironic, why would you cry? When you're all together. But you just cry because you cherish the moment. And maybe out of fear that it might not last long.
People they cry out of joy and happiness. And this is in Arabic language they call it (دَمْعَةُ السُّرُور - dam'atu al-surur) - It's the tear of happiness and joy. And usually the tear of happiness is described as being cool - A cool tear, or cold. And it also brings peace and tranquility to the heart. How many times you watch something and it was really really so funny that you may just go laughing like crazy. You start crying because of that. You couldn't hold it, just keep crying. And because you're so happy, at least something brought a smile to you.
How many times you watch a movie which began with catastrophes and miseries and so on, and at the end mashallah, it was a happy ending. And then you're just so happy for them. Even though you know that it's not even true. But it's just, you materialize this in your mind as if it's genuine and it happened, and you cry for that.
People they cry out of what we call in Arabic language (حُزْن - huzn) which means sorrow and grief. Usually sorrow and grief is for something that happened in the past. You remember it, and you cry for it. And you cry because of that. And the tear that comes out of sorrow and grief they describe it as being extremely hot or warm. Warm means it's actually it's difficult. And it comes usually with pain. It's not an easy tear.
People they cry sometimes out of weakness. How is that? You're in a position that you just feel completely desperate and helpless, you don't know what to do. And the only thing you can do is just to cry. Man or woman at some point, just like a breaking point. You realize I can't do anything about it. And you break into tears. Because you feel weak right now. And of course it develops other perceptions of fear and sorrow and grief and regret and so on. But eventually it begins with feeling of weakness.
People they cry because they were paid to cry. You know sometimes we just pay them to make a role in the movie and then they have to cry so they make you cry. And this in the past. In the past they used to bring these ladies a wailing team - to cry to assist people to provoke sadness and grief and sorrow and to assist the family. Basically like a support kind of team. That was the system back then. They call it (النَّائِحَةُ المُسْتَأْجَرَة - al-naihatul musta'jarah) - It's just basically like a hired or paid wailing team. They come and they cry with them.
And there is always that fake tear. And this is what we call hypocrisy. In the Arabic language they call it - These are the tears of the alligators. And I don't know if they tear or not. But eventually it just makes like a fake tear. You know that they're lying but they're just making it up. Because it's a show.
The Most Worthy Tears
So there are so many reasons why people they cry. And wallahi there is nothing worth of crying for other than fear of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. The (خَشْيَة - khashya) of Allah (عَزَّ وَجَلَّ - azza wa jal)
In the Arabic language we have two - Actually more than two words to express fear. Fear, I don't know how many words you have for fear in English. Like intimidation and so on. In English there is four major words used for fear. There is (خَوْف - khawf) there is (خَشْيَة - khashya) There is (رَهْبَة - rahba), there is (إِشْفَاق - ishfaq). خوف، رهبة، خشية، إشفاق
The most important and two common words are the word (خَوْف - khawf) and the word (خَشْيَة - khashya)
Understanding Khashya vs Khawf
When you check the word (خَشْيَة - khashya) in the Qur'an and the sunnah of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) you realize that that is exactly the practice of the Anbiya and the righteous ones. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala speaks about:
"That those who, in the English translation - poor translation, fear. Those who fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala truly are those ulema, those who have the knowledge. But the Arabic word was (يَخْشَى - yakhsha), (خَشْيَة - khashya)"
Also when the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) he heard about the statement of a few young men who thought the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was forgiven his sins so he doesn't need to do that much of good deeds, so they gave their own vows that they're going to do more than what they expected the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) should be doing. Then the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) in a public speech he said:
(Bukhari 20, Muslim 1401)
I'm the most (أَخْشَاكُمْ - akhshakum) - fearful translated in the English language. Again using the word fear for it. But it's the word (خَشْيَة - khashya)
So what does it mean when we say that you cry out of (خَشْيَة - khashya) of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala or out of fear?
Ibn al-Qayyim's Explanation
Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya (رحمه الله تعالى - rahimahullah ta'ala) in his book "Madarij al-Salikeen" gave a beautiful interpretation of these words. And he gave an example just to make it to visualize the concept of (خَشْيَة - khashya) and the concept of (خَوْف - khawf)
He says as for (خَشْيَة - khashya) it's that fear that is associated with knowledge. Which means you fear out of what you know. Imam Abdul Nasir mentioned that when you fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala because
you know Allah (عز وجل - azza wa jal) has given you everything that you need to be ready for the message of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) has brought you everything.
And the Day of Judgment - actually the Day of Judgment - and most of you guys understand these terms, most of you are students - The Day of Judgment is an open book exam. You already have the questions and you already have the answers. So there is nothing brilliant about it except what? Doing your part. Doing your homework and present your papers at the end.
So when you have the knowledge, that's what developed the (خَشْيَة - khashya) - The fear of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
As for the mere (خَوْف - khawf), the word (خَوْف - khawf) in the Arabic language which is translated as fear again, is that (خَوْف - khawf) without knowing what's there in the future. Which means it's not associated with solid knowledge. It's just like someone who hears something around the corner and starts predicting what's gonna happen there.
The Difference Between Khawf and Khashya
What's the difference between (خَوْف - khawf) and (خَشْيَة - khashya) over here? The difference between (خَوْف - khawf) and (خَشْيَة - khashya) Those who have the (خَوْف - khawf) - just the (خَوْف - khawf) - they have that fear without the knowledge. Eventually they're gonna get extremely angry. Why? When they cannot overcome their fear, they feel helpless. They get extremely upset and they become so angry. And if they don't have the knowledge about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, they become so angry with their creator subhanahu wa ta'ala. And that's what leads them to become desperate. "Islam is a religion of anger" or "this or that" out of ignorance.
But those who have the knowledge, when they know who Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is, they learn about Jannah, they learn about Jahannam, and they learn how to avoid Jahannam and how you can really win Jannah easily if you do your part. That motivates them. It's an incentive for them to do more.
That's why when the companions, the messenger of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and his companions, whenever they hear the words of Allah, what do they do? They cry. But they never faint. They never faint. They cry but they don't faint.
But when you hear about stories of the people of the generation that came afterwards, like al-Fudayl ibn Ayyad's son, for example Ali ibn al-Fudayl ibn Ayyad, whenever he hears the words about Jahannam, he faints. And his mother keeps telling his father: "Never recite words about Jahannam when your son is in the masjid. You're going to kill this kid."
Why is that? Ibn al-Qayyim says that because they don't have the same level of (خَوْف - khawf) and (خَشْيَة - khashya) - that knowledge that the sahaba they had. Even though they were fearful to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala more than any generation that came afterwards, but that fear or (خَشْيَة - khashya) that they developed, it actually
developed instead of desperation, it developed hope, aspiration and motivation. They would fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to motivate them to go towards Him and not go away from Him.
The Tsunami Example
Another example Ibn al-Qayyim explains (خَوْف - khawf) and (خَشْيَة - khashya) He says just like someone who sees a tsunami - he says actually a (سَيْل - sayl) which means a flash flooding coming towards you. When you see that, what do you do? You start running physically. You physically start running away from the danger. But then as you keep running, he says (خَوْف - khawf) demands from you movement. You keep going and running and you keep always shaking.
As for the (خَشْيَة - khashya) he says once you go to a higher level, once you go to a higher level and you find shelter, then you go and sit there. Hide yourself now. You're still afraid that the water might come to that level. But now you have the knowledge. You have the knowledge. The primary knowledge that is not going to get to that level anytime soon. That develops some sort of peace. This is (خَشْيَة - khashya) because it's based on knowledge.
So when you have that (خَشْيَة - khashya) of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, you should develop that peace with Allah (عز وجل - azza wa jal) that will motivate you to be appreciative and work so hard.
Practical Instructions After the Conference
Imam Abdul Nasir gave you some instructions what you could be doing after this conference and that's what I want you to do. When you hear the statement: "Someone who remembers Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in solitude and they start crying" - it's not that they're crying out of desperation. No, they start crying out of (خَشْيَة - khashya)
When they meet with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, they know about the mercy of Allah (عز وجل - azza wa jal) and they cry because they're so happy that Allah is so merciful. They knew about al-jannah - how amazing place that al-jannah would be. So they start crying because they have hope of being there. It's not just about always having fear to be in jahannam, escaping jahannam. Even when you have that hope to meet with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, you just cry.
The Story of Ubayy ibn Ka'b
Remember when Ubayy ibn Ka'b (رضي الله عنه - radi Allahu anhu) he received the news. The Messenger of Allah came to him and said:
Ya Ubayy, Allah (عز وجل - azza wa jal)Subhanahu wa ta'ala commands me to recite the Qur'an before you. I want you to listen to me when I'm reciting the Qur'an. And Ubayy was shocked. He said: "O Messenger of
Allah, did he mention me by name?" He said: "Yes, he did mention you by name." And he broke into tears.
Why would Ubayy cry upon hearing good news? Like Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala knows you by name. He cried. This is a moment of happiness and joy. So they remembered Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and out of their (خَشْيَة - khashya) they break in tears. But these are tears of joy that they remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in the best way possible.
The Balance of Khashya
So it's not just about jahannam. It is also that hope in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala (خَشْيَة - khashya) is the balance between both ends - between jannah and between jahannam.
And at the end of this conference, what I want from each and every one of you: that when you leave this place, you come with this message. You are going to walk out from this place with that (خَشْيَة - khashya) of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And you have that knowledge. You have been empowered with knowledge about seven categories, seven qualifications that you are going to be working on in your life insha'Allah.
So that on the day of judgement, you will have the tears like everybody else. But your tears will be cool tears - tears of joy and happiness because you won. When everybody else is crying unfortunately for some other reasons, you will be crying for the best reason: that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala selected you among all these billions of people to be under the shade of Ar-Rahman.
Empowering Yourself with Knowledge
And I want you, after realizing now that (خَشْيَة - khashya) and the fear of Allah requires knowledge from you to go and pursue it: How can I become fearful to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala in that positive way? It doesn't have to be negative fear. It should be that positive fear of Allah. How can I be that person?
Empower yourself with knowledge. Knowledge about what? About your deen. He said that people when it comes to (خَشْيَة - khashya) and knowledge, it comes under three categories. It says:
First Category: Someone who knows Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and they are knowledgeable about the deen of Allah (عز وجل - azza wa jal) Which means they know who Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala - who he is to them. And therefore they learn the deen Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sent to them and they work upon this. That's the first category and that's the best category. And these are the ulema and the scholars.
Second Category: And then he said: (عَلِيمٌ بِاللَّهِ جَاهِلٌ بِدِينِ اللَّهِ - 'aleemun billahi jahilun bidini Allahi) - Someone who knows about Allah but they know nothing about the deen of Allah. And this is very very common among Muslims. They know so much about Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. How much do they know about the deen of Allah (عز وجل - azza wa jal)? No wonder when they think of Allah they think: "You know, I don't know, I just don't have it in
my heart. I don't feel it in my heart." Because they don't have the knowledge that would provide them with the (خَشْيَة - khashya) that fear associated with knowledge that would bring positive relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Third Category
And the third category, he says: Someone (جَاهِلٌ بِاللَّهِ جَاهِلٌ بِدِينِ اللَّهِ - jahilun billahi jahilun bidini-llah) - They have no idea who Allah is and they have no idea what the deen of Allah is. And he says this is just like (الدواب) Many many people like this don't believe in Allah, don't believe in the deen of Allah.
The Fourth Category
There is one category he didn't mention, which is someone who is (جَاهِلٌ بِاللَّهِ - jahilun billah) - not knowing about Allah - but knowing so much about the deen of Allah. These people could be some like orientalists. They have degrees in Islamic studies but they don't believe in Allah.
Or maybe some Muslims who are so rigid in their practices of the deen. They are so rigid in their practices of the deen that they only recognize of the deen that superficial practice, that they lost the spirit of the practice of our deen. They don't know why. What's the incentive of it? Because they lost the connection between them and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
The Best Way Forward
And the best way of doing it: that you become (عَلِيمٌ بِاللَّهِ - aleemun billah) - having the knowledge about Allah (عز وجل) - and the knowledge about the deen of Allah.
Empower yourself with knowledge. Empower yourself with knowledge. Get to pursue these seven categories so you become for sure and guaranteed under one of these categories. You could be one of these who have more than one qualification. You know that some people they carry more than one degree. And on judgment day, you could be one of those people who will be called for the seven categories to be under the shade of Allah.
Conclusion
Empower yourself with knowledge that will develop (خَشْيَة) in your heart. That will make relationship with Allah (عز وجل) very positive. We will provide you with power, with energy that you move on with your life and never be desperate for the mercy of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
I say this and I ask Allah for forgiveness, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon you.
"I say this and I ask Allah for forgiveness for me and for you, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad."