EPIC Masjid, Imam Nadeem Bashir, Being Humble(Shaytaan Series)

Humility and Humbleness: The Antidote to Arrogance

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen, Alhamdulillahi 'Aliyya Dhaqi, 'Azimu Sifati, Sami'i Al-Simati, Kabir Al-Shan, Alhamdulillahi Alladhi Hadana Li Hada, Wa Ma Kunna Li-Nahtadiya Lawla An Hadana Allah.

Faqad Qala Allahu Tabaraka Wa Ta'ala fi Kitabih Al-Majeed Wa Al-Furqan Al-Hameed, Ba'da A'udhu Billahi Minash Shaitanir Rajeem, Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem:

Wa Qala Rasulullah ﷺ fil-Hadeeth:

(Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Hadith 6264)

Fa-inna Azdaq Al-Hadeeth Kitab Allah, Wa Khayr Al-Hady Hady Muhammad ﷺ, Wa Shar Al-Umuri Muhdathatuha, Wa Kullu Muhdathatun Bid'ah, Wa Kullu Bid'atin Dalalah, Wa Kullu Dalalatin Fin-Naar. Amma Ba'd.

Respected brothers and sisters, inshallah we will be continuing this series regarding Shaitan. In the past two khutbahs, I talked about what exactly is Takabbur, the definition of Takabbur and arrogance, and what consists of Takabbur.

The Prophet ﷺ was asked what exactly is Takabbur, and he said that it consists of two things: to reject the truth, and to demean, disrespect, disregard, and disgrace others. This is what Batrul-Nas means.

But the question is: what is the counter, what is the complete opposite of Takabbur and arrogance? And the answer to that is humbleness and humility.

Understanding Identity Crisis

Now, the quality of humbleness and humility is something that has been mastered by few, although many people have claimed that they have it. Very few people know what the meaning of humbleness and humility truly is, although many people claim that they do have it.

What we see in humbleness and humility is that it starts off when a person is in a state of identity crisis. We live in this world, and there comes a period and a point in a person's life that they're trying to find a safe haven for themselves in this world. They begin to see things differently as they grow up.

A child sees something in one particular way. As he or she begins to grow up and becomes a teenager, they look at the same thing, but now in a different way. As that person becomes an adult, they'll look at it in a different way again. Not only that, but as they're growing up — especially when a child becomes a teenager — what they're trying to do is understand this mystery. It is something that's very confusing: how am I supposed to fit myself into this giant and complex world? Where is my niche? Where is the area that makes me who I am?

As a child begins to grow up, they experiment. They try to see: what is the thing that brings me comfort? What is the thing that makes me angry? What makes me happy? What makes me sad? What makes me joyous? When I'm in a state of anxiety, when I am depressed, what is that one thing that I can find solace in? What is that one thing that can take away my worries?

And every single person, when they are growing up, they experiment in different ways and come up with their own solutions. Some people find solace in sitting alone, on the internet, on Facebook and other social media networks. Some people find comfort in playing video games. Some people just want to be left alone. Some may go watch TV or a movie. I'm not saying don't do that — I'm not endorsing that — but I'm just saying that people try to find their own niche, their own area.

So what happens is that this child, as he or she begins to grow up, then falls into a situation which is called identity crisis. This is something that every person has to go through in their life. And this child, when going through identity crisis, there are two different types.

One type is that the child grows up and has no idea who they are. Who am I? What defines me? That's why you will see that our kids, when they are growing up, one day they will wake up and say, "This is what I want to become in life." The next day they wake up and say something entirely different. The parents are confused. They will come to the shaykh and say, "My child is acting weird. Why is this happening?" And I have to usually put my hand on the brother and say, "This is something very natural — it's called identity crisis. It happens with every single person."

The other type of identity crisis is that we have no idea who we are and what makes us happy. We live in a society where we conduct ourselves based on what other people think about us. We analyze our self-worth by asking: what is my position in society? What do people think about me? What do people say about me? When people get together and my name comes up, what are they saying about me?

And because we are so anxious, so worried, so focused upon what other people are thinking about us, we are not worried about what Allah and the Prophet ﷺ think about us. Am I trying to please other people, or am I trying to please Allah and the Prophet ﷺ? Because we are so worried about how other people think about us, in life we juggle and jump from one extreme to the other. Today we are one type of person — "This is who I am, this is my nature, this is the way I think." But then we meet a person who may not like us, so we transform our identity and personality just so that person will like us. We juggle from one extreme to another extreme. We face difficulties, confusions, contradictions, and discrepancies in our life. This is another type of identity crisis — we have no idea what we are doing, always spending our life based on what other people think about us.

Humility: The Path Out of Identity Crisis

So the question is: how do we get out of this identity crisis? And there is something called humility and humbleness. It is something that Allah has instructed us so that we can become calm in our lives. When a person is humble, they are not worried about people praising them. They are not worried about people putting them on a high pedestal. They are not worried about what others think about them. Why? Because their focus is only one: how can I please Allah? How can I please the Prophet ﷺ? And I am just like any average person in the community — regardless of my financial status, regardless of my spiritual status, regardless of my family or lineage. I am just like everyone else.

Now, when we get into the technical definition of humbleness and humility, there is a separate definition in Islam, and it is defined in a totally different way within the secular society we live in. So first of all, when we try to attain and express humility, we should do it only for the sake of Allah. There are some people who may appear humble but have hidden agendas and ulterior motives — such as seeking praise, social status, political status, or self-gratification. But humbleness is something that we have to do only for the sake of Allah.

Humility Is Not Conditional

Another important point: humbleness and humility is not conditional. Let me repeat that one more time — humbleness and humility is not conditional. Which means we cannot say, "If this person is humble towards me, I'll be humble towards them." It is not conditional.

We see from the Seerah of the Prophet ﷺ that if humbleness were conditional, then what happened at the Fath of Makkah would have looked entirely different. The Prophet ﷺ entered into Makkah as the most humble person. There were no ulterior motives. There were no hidden agendas. The Prophet ﷺ did not say, "Now that we have conquered this land, and the Haram is clean of all the idols, we are going to treat them as they treated us." He did not say, "They hurt us when we were the minority. They persecuted us when we were few in number. Now since we are more in number, they will see how we treat them." No, it was not like that. Humbleness was not conditional with the Prophet ﷺ. Even though they had done things to him, he was still very humble towards them.

Society's Notion vs. the Prophet's Example

In our society, there is a saying: when it comes to humbleness, make sure you do not let your arrogance bubble out unless someone attacks you. Which means: you are quiet, you keep to yourself, you are not worried about people praising you or looking up to you — but when someone attacks you, then you get even with them. Let us remember, this is what society teaches us. But let us remember what the Prophet ﷺ did.

When he was sleeping under a tree, someone came and put a sword straight to the neck of the Prophet ﷺ and said, "Muhammad, who is going to save you today?" And of course we know the story — when he said "Allah," this person began to shiver. He could no longer hold on to the sword. The sword fell from his hand, and the Prophet ﷺ took it and said, "Who is going to save you?" Yet it was not the intent of the Prophet of Allah to take that person's life, and he did not. He forgave him. He invited him to Islam, and the man asked, "Are you forcing me to accept Islam? Is this an ultimatum — that I have to accept Islam in order to save my life?" The Prophet ﷺ replied, "No, I'm going to let you go." That person left, but then came back and took shahada — because Islam was not enforced upon him, and when he saw the true nature of Rasulullah ﷺ, he came into the fold of Islam.

So what we learn from society is entirely different from what we learn from Rasulullah ﷺ. Humbleness means looking down, not worrying about what my status is, always focused on putting the right to others. This is another definition of humbleness.

Can Dignity and Humility Co-Exist?

There is a preconceived notion within our society: that humility and humbleness equals the lack of dignity, and that dignity equals arrogance. So if a person has respect and dignity, that must mean they are arrogant. And if a person has no dignity, that must be a person who is humble. And so the way we look at humbleness is: a person who does not say anything to anyone, people come and abuse him physically and verbally in any way, and that person just stays quiet and goes their way. That is not humbleness. Let me repeat — that is not humbleness. If someone comes and abuses you, you can stand up for your rights.

The question today is: can dignity and humility co-exist? And the answer is yes. A person, just because they are humble, does not mean they give up all their rights. It doesn't mean they cannot speak out. It doesn't mean they can simply be abused and carry on. This is not what humbleness is.

Umar رضي الله عنه once saw a person who was walking in an extremely feeble and weak manner, and he admonished him, saying: "This is not what a Muslim is. A Muslim is strong. Do not walk with such weakness." On the other hand, that same Umar رضي الله عنه, when he was entering into Jerusalem — while all the Christian leaders were standing there, waiting, having heard so much about this man — they were shocked. They expected to see Umar رضي الله عنه riding on the animal in a position of honor. Instead, they saw someone else on the animal, and Umar رضي الله عنه was the one walking alongside it. And they thought: something must be wrong here. But Umar رضي الله عنه never worried about appearances of status.

Why? Because let me try to make it as simple as I can — dignity is achieved when you fulfill the rights of others. The way we treat others, people will treat us back.

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5997; Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2318)

The Prophet ﷺ said: if you have no mercy, mercy will not be shown to you by Allah. If we want dignity, we have to help out others. We have to fulfill the rights of others in our community. If we want dignity, show fear of Allah. Allah says in the Qur'an:

Whoever is most conscious and aware of Allah — that is the person who receives dignity and respect from Allah. And on the other hand, humility is about downplaying our own actions and our own accomplishments. So we see that Umar رضي الله عنه was able to balance between dignity and humbleness. Both of these elements can co-exist. We respect others, we fulfill the rights of others in our community, and after that we downplay our own accomplishments. We never look at who we are, but we're always thinking about others. This is also another definition of humbleness.

Practical Examples from the Life of the Prophet ﷺ

Initiating the Salaam

The Prophet ﷺ, as he taught us, said that a person should always take the first initiative step in order to greet others. Do not wait for other people to come and greet you — go and greet others first. We know that responding to salaam is a right of a Muslim. But what we see from the life of the Prophet ﷺ is that when it came to making salaam, he never expected others to come to him first. He would rush towards others and make salaam first. He would not say, "I am the Prophet of Allah — other people in my community should come and make salaam to me first." Because if a person ever thinks that salaam should be initiated towards them first, that is arrogance.

The Prophet ﷺ would walk in Madinah, and when he saw small children playing in the streets, he would go and make salaam to them. He never said, "I'm the Prophet — you come and make salaam to me." The only thing that we do today with kids in the street is yell at them. A kid comes inside the masjid with a small ball, and we just yell at them. We do this all the time, unfortunately. The Prophet ﷺ never yelled at children. Never. So if we have this habit of yelling at children, stop it. There is a way of talking to children.

Participating in Community Work

When it came to doing things, the Prophet ﷺ always participated. We live in a time today when leaders always stay back. People who are arrogant always hold themselves back. But at the time of the Battle of the Trench, when the Sahabah came to complain that there was a huge boulder that was not breaking, what did the Prophet ﷺ do? He got in and began to dig along with the others. This shows humbleness. When people are doing something together in a community activity, a person gets in and works with others. That brings humbleness — because you are helping out, and you are downplaying your position. You are not saying, "This is too demeaning for me." You get in. You get involved.

The Example of Umar رضي الله عنه

Also when it comes to helping out others, Umar رضي الله عنه — there are so many stories I could share, but due to the lack of time, we cannot get into all of them. But time and time again, during his Khilafah, Umar رضي الله عنه would walk and patrol the streets. Today, wallahi, there is not a single leader who does that. He once found a woman with some children, crying in the forest with nothing to eat. Umar رضي الله عنه went to the Bayt al-Maal. He never said, "I'm too busy — go do this for me." He never gave orders. He did it himself. He brought himself low. He never looked at his position.

He collected the food, and his servant Aslam was with him. Aslam said, "Let me carry it — this is beyond you. You should not be carrying it." Umar رضي الله عنه said, "No, no. Who cares who I am? Tomorrow, I will be asked by Allah that there were people in your city who were hungry — what did you do about it?" He carried the sack himself, went all the way into the forest, cooked the food for them, and served them. That is humbleness. That is humbleness.

Humility Within the Household

The Prophet ﷺ — and when I say this, I want people to understand — within our households, we have positions and defined roles. In some families, the roles are defined: the woman is the housewife and the father is the one who goes out to work. Sometimes the dynamics are different inside the house, where everyone is working, and that is fine also. We should never judge anyone else. We should never be judgmental towards families where both the husband and wife are working. And we should never look down on a family where the wife fulfills the role of housewife and the husband goes out — that is also fine.

But what happens is: the Prophet ﷺ would come home, and there are defined roles. But what if we come home one day and the wife is not feeling well? The kids are running around, up and down everywhere. One is jumping from upstairs, one is jumping from the table — it's chaotic in the house. The wife is sick. She may be expecting a child. She is going through this and is feeble. Now what do we do? Do we sit in a chair and say, "Why is the house not clean? Why is it like this?" There is no one whose status was higher than the Prophet ﷺ. But you know what the Prophet ﷺ would do? He would go and help. His sandals would break, and he would take a needle and thread and begin to sew his own sandals himself. He never threw things at his wife and demanded she do this or that. This is part of humbleness also — that you step out of the bubble of your position and help out. The Prophet ﷺ never thought, "This is who I am — this is how people should respect me."

Disliking People Standing for Him

Whenever the Prophet ﷺ would go to a gathering, we know that when people with high status enter, others stand up. The Prophet ﷺ would dislike that. He would say, "No, sit down, sit down." There are some people so arrogant that when they arrive somewhere, they expect everyone to get up and greet them. This is not who the Prophet ﷺ was.

The Example of Umar ibn Abdulaziz

Umar ibn Abdulaziz had something in his hand and it fell down. Someone came to pick it up and said, "You are Umar ibn Abdulaziz." He replied, "Who cares? Let me do my own thing. Let me pick it up." This is how people at that time displayed their humbleness. And this is something we have to know — in different areas, different positions, different times and circumstances, there is a way to display humbleness at every single point in our lives.

Humility: The Opposite of Shaytan's Arrogance

But the question once again is: why am I talking about humbleness? It is because humbleness is the complete opposite of arrogance. Arrogance is what Shaytan did. Shaytan was always talking about himself. Another type of arrogance is the attitude of "me, myself, and I." Wherever you go, it is all about me, myself, and I. "I am this. I am that." This is arrogance. Do not ever try to promote yourself. Do not ever try to put yourself higher than others. Always try to keep yourself low as much as you can.

May Allah give all of us the ability to observe humbleness, and may Allah give us a true understanding of what humility and humbleness truly is.